Blue Coyote Motel (30 page)

Barbie picked her up later that afternoon and drove her to a nearby Zen Center. On the way, Barbie filled her in on what she could expect, cautioning her about keeping silent and trying to limit her physical movements. She told her how to sit on a pillow called a zafu and where to place her hands.

They parked the car and entered a vibrant, flower-filled courtyard. A few minutes before 5:00 p.m., they walked up the steps to the meditation room along with a number of other people. The room was oblong and everyone sat on a zafu facing a wall. Candlelight filled the room and there was the smell of incense, a sandalwood scent that Jill was familiar with from her bi-monthly facials. She knew she'd also smelled it somewhere else, but she couldn't quite remember where.

There were two sitting meditation sessions of twenty minutes each and a walking meditation in between. The hardest part for Jill was trying not to swat the fly that kept landing on her face. Barbie had been very clear about keeping her movements to a minimum. Evidently, part of the Buddhist philosophy was a non-attachment to anything whatsoever; that all things would pass. The fly that kept landing on her cheek gave a new meaning to this concept for Jill. She kept waiting for it to pass.

After the meditation, they turned around, faced one another, and listened to the Zen priest give a talk. Following the service, tea and snacks were served in the courtyard where candles were brightly glowing. It was enchanting. Jill started thinking about how she could get this effect on the patio at her home.

She felt a tap on her shoulder. "Excuse me, but weren't you recently on a trek in Nepal?" an attractive man asked her. Looking closely, she recognized the doctor from San Francisco, the sixth member of their trek. Jill remembered him, but she had forgotten just how attractive he was. He was about 6'2", dark hair with graying temples, green eyes, and a great body.

"Yes, I was. How are you?" Jill replied. "I thought you lived in San Francisco. What brings you to Orange County?"

"I had a medical conference in Los Angeles this week and my parents live in Newport Beach. I've heard good things about this Zen Center so I decided to stay over the weekend and try it. And you? Are you a member of the center?"

Jill replied that her friend Barbie had attended services at the center for a long time. After their trip to Nepal, Jill had mentioned to Barbie that she would be interested in attending a service at the center. She told him that this was her first time.

Aaron Nichols was the doctor’s name. Jill was surprised when he asked if he could take her to dinner that night. He explained that he was flying back to San Francisco the next day and friends had recommended that he try a new restaurant owned by a celebrity chef who had just opened his restaurant in Newport Beach. Jill was even more surprised when she found herself accepting his invitation.

The people at the center were extremely friendly and very well educated. It seemed that every other one was a doctor, a lawyer, or a psychiatrist. Jill had read somewhere that Zen appealed to the intellect rather than the emotions. This group certainly seemed to underline that.

Jill found Barbie and told her she wouldn't need to take her home. She said the doctor they had met in Nepal was there and that he had asked her to dinner.

"Well, you certainly are doing better than I did," Barbie said. "I tried to get his attention the whole time we were on the trek. Guess I'm not his type! I'm glad you're going out with him. It's time and Rick would want you to make new friends, particularly a handsome doctor from San Francisco."

The dinner with Aaron was thoroughly enjoyable. He was attractive, smart, and entertaining. Jill enjoyed being with him and having been a doctor's wife; she could easily understand and talk about his world. The evening went by quickly and when he took her home, Aaron asked if he could see her again. He explained that he would be in the area during the holidays and asked if she would have dinner with him then. Jill said she'd love to. He pulled out his Blackberry, consulting his calendar. "How about the 23rd of December? As I mentioned earlier, I have family in the area and I usually spend every other year down here for a few days during the holidays."

He walked her to her door, again telling her how much he had enjoyed being with her. Aaron mentioned that he had been attracted to her on the trek, but she had a "Do Not Disturb" air about her. He had made some inquiries and found she was a recent widow and not open to any male overtures. She liked the fact that he had sense enough not to intrude at that time and found she was looking forward to the 23rd.

While she didn't feel "enlightened" after she returned from the Zen Center, she felt pretty good. She didn't know if the good feelings were from the Zen Center or from Aaron.  She decided to try and sit in meditation for twenty minutes a day to see how it felt. Aaron said he had been doing Zen meditation for years and credited it with being able to deal with the world from a place of calmness. Jill went to the Internet and found a Zen supplier who carried zafus and ordered one.
I
might
as
well
be
comfortable
if
I'm
going
to
do
this
, she thought as she placed the order.

Jill was dreading Christmas without Rick and she decided to accept every invitation that came, hoping it might help to ease the pain and loneliness she knew she was going to feel. Maybe if she kept busy, she wouldn't feel quite so lonely.

The 23rd of December came and with it, dinner with Aaron. She again enjoyed herself, perhaps even more this time than the first time. He asked if she was up to being his date at a family dinner the next evening, Christmas Eve. He told her it was a very casual thing. Family and friends traditionally came to his parents' home on Christmas Eve for drinks and food. It wasn't a sit-down formal affair, just lots of extended family and a table loaded with fabulous food.

It took her a moment to reply. Her first instinct was that she should mourn Rick on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but in the next moment, she knew that Rick would be the first to insist that she find happiness wherever she could. Theirs had been a wonderful love affair, but that was in the past. It was time to move on. "I can't think of anything I would rather do. May I bring something?" she asked.

"A hungry tummy and a hollow leg," Aaron replied. "There's a lot to eat and drink. I think you'll like my family. We're a bit of a Heinz 57; Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, and now me, a Buddhist. We're a true American melting pot. My mother is Irish Catholic—I get my green eyes from her—and my father is Jewish. My sister married a Muslim. It can be a bit chaotic, but we get to celebrate a lot of different things, and always with food!" Aaron was clearly delighted she would be joining him and his family.

True to his word, the table groaned with every wonderful food imaginable and waiters were quick to fill an empty glass. Aaron's parents lived on Lido Isle, located on the water in the heart of Newport Beach. The entire neighborhood was alive with Christmas lights. Aaron's father was a doctor at Newport Hospital and had known Rick. There were several other doctors and their wives at the party, many of whom Jill knew. Aaron's parents were delightful. They had been married for over forty-five years and were clearly still in love. They were a joy to be around.

What
a
combination
, Jill thought when she met them. Aaron's father was balding, tall, and thin with large horn-rimmed glasses. His mother was short and squat with a fair but freckled complexion, green eyes, and beautiful shoulder-length red hair. It was only fitting that her name was Maureen.
I
would
have
bet
anything
that
would
be
her
name
, Jill thought, grateful for the warmth they extended to her. It was a wonderful evening and Aaron had been charming and attentive. She was not blind to the numerous kisses and hugs other women felt compelled to bestow on Aaron. She even sensed a bit of jealousy in a few of the women as she was introduced to them by him.

February came and true to her word, Jill had been an integral part of the most successful fundraising event in the history of Newport Hospital. Her silent auction was a huge success. The final amount raised was well over three million dollars. The five-star hotel where the fundraiser was held had done an incredible job of catering to the wealthy with a fabulous meal and tables that gleamed with silver, crystal, and Spode china. Massive floral bouquets had been placed throughout the dining and silent auction rooms. Each dining table floral centerpiece was a smaller version of the large bouquets. The jewels the women wore blazed in the candlelit room.

Bidding was fierce for the donated items. The Rolls Royce topped the list, followed by a one-month stay at an oceanfront compound in Maui and a chalet near Mont Blanc in the Alps. It brought in more money than any past auction. Jill enjoyed soliciting the donations. It was fun and it made her feel she was needed. When she was recognized by Marge and asked to rise to a standing ovation, she felt great. It was good to be acknowledged for something. It was a feeling Jill hadn't experienced in a long time.

Jill and Aaron spent a lot of time together whenever he visited Newport Beach. In mid-May, she made plans for a trip to San Francisco to see her friend Samantha. She mentioned to Aaron that she would be visiting. Of course he wanted to see her and she had to admit that she wanted to see him just as much. After she got off the telephone with him and was getting ready for bed, she looked in the mirror and noticed some grey roots in her hair. She made a mental note to herself to call her hairdresser and make an appointment for a touch up.

That's odd,
she thought.
I could swear I was in the hair salon just a couple of weeks ago
. She went to her computer and pulled up her calendar.
Yes, just as I thought, I had my roots done three weeks ago. I've never had to do them that often. I wonder why?

She turned the computer off and went back into the bathroom. Several people had asked her lately if she was feeling okay. She took a long look at herself in the mirror and could see why. She looked tired. There were lines where there never had been lines before.
I need to get a facial,
she thought. But hadn't she had a facial just a few weeks ago? She went back to the study, turned the computer back on, and once again, pulled up her calendar. It showed that it had only been two weeks since her last facial. She began to seriously wonder what was going on with her physical appearance. She stripped down and stood nude in front of the full-length mirror attached to the back of the bathroom door, taking a long look at herself. There was no mistaking the fact that her skin was beginning to sag and that her breasts, which had always been what people called "pert," had begun to droop. Her stomach, which had always been flat, looked saggy. Jill's skin and particularly her lips felt unusually dry. Something was happening to her body. She decided to see her doctor when she returned from San Francisco.

The next morning it was all she could do to get out of bed. She had an early board meeting with one of her charities, but it didn't interest her. All she wanted to do was sleep. After the meeting, she was scheduled to fly to San Francisco to see Samantha and Aaron. Even that didn't excite her. She got through the next few hours in a fog.

Samantha met her at the San Francisco airport. "Are you feeling alright?" She asked after giving Jill a hug. "You look like you could use some rest."

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Jill said. "I'm just bone tired.”

Samantha took a long look at Jill. "I think you need to have some tests done. You don't look well. Promise me when you get back home you'll go see your doctor."

"I've already scheduled an appointment for Monday morning, but first let's just have a great time this weekend. Aaron's picking me up tonight for dinner, so you'll get a chance to meet him. I'd like your opinion,” "Jill said.

Aaron arrived at Samantha's home promptly at 6:00 p.m. to pick up Jill. Samantha lived in a home the San Franciscans called a "painted lady," homes that were unique to that city. Several streets on steep hills were lined with these narrow, three-story Victorian houses which were painted in a variety of pastel colors. After Samantha's divorce, she had decided to completely redo her home and it was a beautiful combination of old and new. She loved to show it off and willingly gave Aaron a tour.

When Jill and Aaron got in his car to go to the restaurant, he took a long look at her. "Are you all right? You know I'm a doctor. You look like you may have picked up a bug. Have you been to your doctor? I'm worried about you."

She told him that she had made an appointment for the day after she returned. Aaron asked if she'd noticed feeling any differently recently. She told him she didn't have any energy and felt like she was aging a lot faster than she should be. She said she didn't hurt anywhere; that she had just done her monthly self-breast exam and everything seemed to be completely normal, but still she felt like something was "off."

He made her promise to call him after she saw her doctor. The rest of the evening was just as wonderful as every other time she had been with Aaron. She realized she was falling in love with him; something she never thought would happen after Rick, especially this soon. After dinner, it felt natural for them to go to Aaron's home overlooking the San Francisco Bay. She had never thought she would want another man, but she wanted Aaron and knew he felt the same way. He suggested she call Samantha and tell her she would see her tomorrow. Jill hung up the phone as Aaron was turning the lights off. The drapes were open to a spectacular view of the city skyline with the lights on the boats in the bay gently bobbing and swaying below them.

Their bodies fit together as if in a mold, and the lovemaking was easy, yet passionate. For a fleeting moment, Jill wondered what Aaron was thinking of her body, particularly if she was aging prematurely as she suspected, but as passion filled both of them, the analytical part of her brain shut down.