Blue Love (22 page)

“
I would love that,” Tessa said.

Scratch that, Luke thought. He is still a dick.

She rested against him and they fell asleep.

~

Tessa woke up earlier than anyone else and walked out to the back porch and sat. She stretched and yawned, she looked at the sky. It looked like it would be a nice day. She walked to the outhouse and went to the bathroom. She washed her hands in the creek and squatted beside it watching the water run, it was beautiful and calming. She hugged her knees and closed her eyes and banged her head on her knees twice. She saw someone walking through the woods coming towards her; she stood up and watched him as he crossed the creek stepping on the stones not covered by water.

“
Good Morning Tessa,” Luke said shoving his hands in his pockets and looking through those lashes at her.

“
Good morning, did you stay last night?” she asked confused.

“
I did,” Luke said.

“
Oh, where did you sleep?” she asked.

“
In the loft,” he said looking down.

“
Oh,” she gasped.

“
Did Marie stay,” she asked sarcastically.

“
Of course not Tessa,” he said.

“
That’s too bad, I mean the connection you two share must be wonderful,” Tessa said sarcastically.

“
And you how was your date?” he asked trying not to look at her.

“
You should know you were on it with me,” she shot at him.

He looked in her eyes,
“Ya that’s right all the kissing was awesome to watch,” he said scowling.

“
Oh I am so sorry maybe you can go with me tonight so you can watch me give a blow job Luke,” she said raising her voice, “Maybe I can see if he will kick your ass after I screw him.”

“
Good morning Tessa, hello Luke” Toby said.

“
Could we have a minute please?” Luke said through clenched teeth.

“
Tessa is that alright with you?” Toby asked.

“
Sure,” she said staring at Luke and Toby walked away.

“
I am sorry and I wish you would let me explain the situation you walked into the other night,” Luke said quietly.

“
Um well sure let’s hear it,” she said.

“
I was stoned Tessa,” he started.

“
Why?” she said.

“
It was a rough afternoon,” he said his face blank.

“
Because I went to get my nails done” she asked, “and wasn’t there to Luke sit?”

“
It’s not at all about you,” he said.

“
No it’s not and I am done here, you hurt me and you won’t have the opportunity to do it again,” she said and walked away.

“
Stop Tessa please, just one more thing and I won’t say another,” Tessa stopped and turned around looking at him, “Can you be my friend for awhile? I have some things to work through, I don’t want you to not be in my life, so can we be friends please?”

Luke was very serious and her heart ached hearing his words, friends.
How?
She wondered. He loves me and has some things to work through, her head spun as she searched his eyes for an answer. He started walking towards her as he watched her eyes and knew she was confused, so was he but not about his feelings, not about wanting her in his life, she was breathing deeply and her eyes were tearing up. His burned watching hers, he grabbed her shoulders and brought her closer to him and he hugged her and she sunk into him. She grabbed his shirt and hung on to him.

“
I know I don’t deserve you Tessa but please don’t count me out. I have never needed someone’s love as much as I need yours. Be my friend Tessa if that’s all you can give, I will take it. I need you to know that I love you and someday with some work you’ll never doubt that again,” he closed his eyes, breathed in her hair and kissed her head. He untangled his arms and released her, she didn’t move for a few minutes. Finally she breathed and then lightly tugged at his shirt, she looked up at him and turned and walked away. He stood and watched her praying that she would consider it.

Tess
a took a deep breath and walked and Toby was waiting for her.

Chapter
14

Tommy was taking Luke home from the cabin,
“How are you doing man?” he asked.

“
Fine,” Luke said.

“
Answer a question?” Tommy asked.

“
Sure,” he said.

“
Why did you bring Marie to the dance?” he asked.

“
I needed to see her and I didn’t have a date,” he said.

“
You want Tessa back?” he asked.

“
Yes very much,” he said.

“
Want some advice?” Tommy asked and Luke shook his head. “Stop bringing your crazy ex’s around.”

Luke smirked,
“Wasn’t like that.”

“
Then what are you doing Luke,” he asked, “Because I am confused.”

“
I am getting better Tommy, for her,” he said “and for me.”

“
I am so glad you finally feel you’re worth it,” Tommy smiled. “So what are you doing today and tonight?”

“
Laundry and cleaning today, not sure about tonight, any plans?” Luke asked.

“
Going to Jade’s to meet the family, wanna come?” Tommy asked smiling.

“
No thanks you have fun with that,” Luke said laughing.

“
How about tomorrow? Go to church with me?” Tommy asked.

“
Sure, what time?” he said the car swerved and he grabbed the wheel, “Watch the road,” Luke said laughing.

“
Sorry man, just so we are clear you just said yes about tomorrow, about going to church right?” Tommy was in shock.

“
Yes buddy I did,” Luke laughed

“
Wow, I think you love her,” Tommy smiled.

“
I do Tommy, I do,” Luke said smiling, “I just wish it didn’t hurt so badly.”

“
If anyone can win a girl over it’s you Luke, just give it time,” he said looking at him still in shock.

“
Tommy the road please, this is absolutely why I always drive,” Luke laughed.

Tommy dropped him off at home,
“Ok,” he yelled out the window, “Church… in the morning right?”

“
Yes Tommy see you at 9:30 right?” Luke asked.

“
Sunday school starts at 9 man” Tommy laughed.

“
Tommy you haven’t been to Sunday school in a year, don’t push it,” Luke smiled and walked into the house. He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone.

Tessa
’s phone chimed, she looked down to see his picture and she read his message.

-I held you today at the same time I let you go. I trust in what I feel for the first time, you will be part of me forever. I am forever changed because of you, Day 2
without Tessa Ross sucks, but I can make it right ….LYA Luke

~

Jade met her at the house and they drove to the church. Their group was small only four other kids besides her brother and sister and Jake still was not warming up to the idea. They chose to sing This Little Light of Mine in a round, and they had only two weeks to do it, it was a train wreck but cute anyway. Jade and Tessa walked the kids to the ice cream store and sang the whole way there. Kendall and the other girls had a blast and Jake scowled most of the time. When they walked back they sang and were sad because the ice cream store was closing for the season. Jade and Tessa promised pizza after they sang on stage in two weeks.

~

Tessa got ready for her date, she had no idea where they were going so she hoped jeans would do, she wore her favorite ones with a white blouse and a jacket, and she threw on a scarf to brighten it up. She straightened her hair and even applied mascara and lip gloss, Jade would be proud. Toby walked in and was wearing jeans and a sweater. His dark brown hair was cut short and his green eyes where amazing, He was six foot and in amazing shape. He was very handsome and clean cut.

“
Hey Tessa how was church?” Toby asked.

“
Great, how was your morning?” Tessa smiled.

“
Crazy, busy, and much better now,” Toby said and hugged her. “You ready to go?” he asked.

The kids ran out and yelled
“Toby,” they loved him, he scooped them up and twirled them around. He pulled a movie out of his jacket and gave it to them, “Now you have got to watch this it’s a classic,” he said. It was Star Wars and they already had seen it a hundred times, it was a family favorite, but they didn’t tell him that.

“
They have seen it haven’t they?” Toby asked.

“
A few times,” she said and laughed. “It was nice of you to think of them.”

“
Are you okay with this Tessa, doesn’t feel weird does it?” Toby asked.

“
No it is great, where are we going?” Tessa asked.

“
Lunch and a movie sound okay?” Toby asked.

“
It sounds perfect,” Tessa smiled.

~

They drove to Ithaca and went to the commons; they ate dinner at a small café and walked around a bit. They talked about his plans when he graduated in two years.

“
What will your job be?” Tessa asked.

“
I am going to be an MD,” Toby said taking a bite of his lunch.

“
So you’ll be a medical doctor?” she said and smiled.

“
Hopefully,” Toby said laughing.

“
Will you move a lot?” Tessa asked.

“
Probably every four years,” Toby answered.

“
Won’t you miss your family?” Tessa asked.

“
Of course I will. I do however get thirty days off leave a year. Four weeks of a year, and I get to travel and help people, and the majority of the hospitals are on the east coast so it’s just a short plane trip home,” he answered and sat back, “Does that bother you?”

“
No I think it’s wonderful. It would just be hard, that’s all,” she said.

“
What would be hard?” he asked, “Being away from family.”

“
Yes I guess” she said.

“
That’s what some people do Tessa. But the big picture is pretty awesome. I will retire in my forties. If I am married by the time I am 27 and the wonderful woman I marry wants children with me, we can raise them while traveling and seeing the world if we choose, and by the time our perfect little monsters are heading into their teens, we can drag them kicking and screaming back here. I can either work or coach their sports team, ya know be present. The sacrifices I make today will be huge rewards tomorrow,” he smiled.

They drove to the mall and talked about their dreams and even about the possibility of a future with the two of them. She was happy when she was with him. She could still feel innocent and desired at the same time. She didn
’t have to be someone she never was before. It was nice. But she often thought of Luke and wondered if he was alright.

They walked in the mall and held hands. They went to grab ice cream and she saw Luke, he stood in front of yet another brunette. He turned towards Tessa and he looked down and shook his head, as he walked past her he stopped and leaned over to her,
“Jill, number two,” and he kept walking. She looked towards Jill and she was smiling biting her lip as she watched him walk away.

Tessa looked up at Toby and shook her head and looked confused, he laughed,
“You’ll figure it out.”

They ordered ice cream and decided to skip the movie and instead sat and talked.

Tessa was home by two and he walked her to the door and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for a great weekend,” he said and smiled at her.

“
No Toby thank you, you have been amazing and have opened my eyes. When will I see you again?” she asked, and he smiled “Oh I am sorry,” she said and blushed.

“
You are so beautiful,” he said and stared in her eyes. “I am going to be here in a few hours to shoot, will you be here?” he asked. “Yes,” she said and swallowed hard.

“
See you then Tessa,” and he opened the door for her to walk in and closed it behind her.

~

Tessa woke up to Toby sitting across from her and smiling.
“Tired angel?”

“
I guess I was,” she smiled, “I will be right out you go ahead.”