Boarded by Love (53 page)

“You’re right.”

“I know, now kiss me, and don’t pick fights with me just ’cause you’re upset. Talk to me, I’m here for you, and I will help you through anything. All you have to do is tell me what you need. I love you.”

My tears spill over and roll down my cheeks as I nod slowly. “I love you too. I’m sorry.”

His mouth curves into a grin and then comes down on mine, kissing me so softly and so tenderly that my heart hurts more. With that kiss, I know that I’m going to continue to take the coward’s way out.

And just pray that in the end I have the safety and security of Jude’s love.

A
nother day passes before I hear from Phillip. When I do, it’s in the form of a text while I’m teaching a bunch of nine-year-olds.

Phillip: Hey, come over to the house once you close up the studio.

I don’t bother answering him. Instead I find myself watching the clock, begging time to go faster. Once it is time, I close the studio and get in my car, driving home. Taking out my phone, I dial Jude’s number and he answers on the fourth ring.

“Hey, babe,” he says roughly into the phone. Glancing at the clock, I see that it is his workout time.

“Shit, sorry, I know you’re working out.”

“No biggie, what’s up?”

“I’m heading home. Phillip finally texted me.”

“See, told you. It’s going to be fine. Do you want me to go with you?”

I smile, loving that he wants to be there for me. “I’m almost there, thank you, though.”

“No problem. Call me when you leave.”

“I will,” I say. “I love you.”

“Love you too, baby. Bye.”

Smiling from the love that is bursting in my chest for him, I hang up my phone before I turn the music up and turn onto the street that Phillip’s house is on. Pulling into the driveway, I shut off my car and head toward the door. I think about knocking but then curse myself for it.

He loves me and this is my home too.

Opening the door, I enter and shut it behind me. “Reese? Phillip?”

“We’re in here,” Reese calls from the kitchen.

Placing my keys in the basket, I head to the kitchen to find them both leaning against the kitchen island. Phillip doesn’t look at me, but Reese does, and I can see in her eyes that this is all a mess. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife; it’s so thick and honestly chokes me. I hate it. There shouldn’t be tension. Our family is too solid for tension.

“Hey,” I say, waving awkwardly.

“Hey,” Reese says back, a small smile on her face. “Get everything closed up?”

I nod as I come to the island, matching their stances. “Yup, good classes tonight.”

“Good,” she says and then she reaches out, lacing her fingers with Phillip’s. “Honey?” she asks. He looks up at her, and when he finally looks at me, the sadness in his eyes kills me. Gasping for breath, I look away like a coward, my heart beating hard in my chest. The room falls silent; the only noise is the tick of the clock. When I glance up, he’s watching me and his eyes lock with mine.

“Don’t you ever lie or hide anything from me again, do you understand me?”

Fighting back the tears, I nod. “I promise.”

“I’ve thought long and hard about this, Claire, and I understand why you think you need the money. I could never imagine what you went through growing up, and I wish I could take all those years away and replace them with new ones, but I can’t. All I can do is promise you that you don’t need to ever worry about that again. I’ll protect you, I’ll make sure you are taken care of, and I will always make sure you are loved.”

“I know, but I can’t depend on you forever, Phillip.”

He nods. “I get that, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be here when you need me. I’m not trying to tell you to quit or stop what you’re doing. If this is what you want, then I support you a hundred percent, but I want you to want it because you love it, not because of the money.”

I don’t even have to think about it. “I want to choreograph shows for burlesque dancers, Phillip. I’ve been doing research ever since I was told about the investors, and I can make my own world of burlesque. Something sexy and mind-blowing, I would be in complete control. It will be
my
show. Ms. Prissy thinks I can do huge things, and I agree. I feel good about this, but I promise, next Thursday is the last day I’ll be on the stage. I want you to be proud of me, and I know that seeing me in next to nothing dancing around won’t make you proud.”

“You’re wrong; I am proud of you no matter what,” he promises. “I would prefer you do it with clothes on, but if you want to strut your stuff across the stage, I’ll look away and wait till you’re done. But I will be front row, cheering you on. We’re so proud of you, Claire, and we love you.”

“I love you guys,” I say, my voice breaking and tears welling up in my eyes. He brings me in close and I hug him tightly, my heart pounding against my chest. When he lets me go, Reese wraps her arms around me, her eyes misty with tears.

“I love you too,” she whispers, and I hug her a little tighter.

“I love you,” I say, closing my eyes tight as I hold her.

“So when is this investors’ show?” Phillip asks as we part. “Thursday?”

I nod. “Yup, I’m performing twice but the whole show is choreographed by me.”

“Awesome. Hey, Reese,” he says and she smiles over at him.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Want to be my date Thursday to watch our girl be a star?”

She glances over at me, her face beaming with pride as she says, “Hell yeah, I do.”

I squeal in happiness and soon I’m wrapped up in a group hug with my two favorite people. As I hug them, wrapped tightly in their love, my mind drifts to Jude, and I wonder if I could get him to come.

And I wonder if he’ll still love me when I come onstage as Diamond.

Jude couldn’t come even if I had the balls to ask. He has a game in Chattanooga, which sucks because I had to tell him I couldn’t go, and I had to lie again.

“Can I ask you to blow off Phillip and Reese and have you not be mad?” he asks, pulling me in close. I’m standing between his legs as he leans against my car while we wait for them to finish loading the bus.

“I can’t. We have plans, I’m sorry. Rain check?”

He smiles, hooking his fingers in my belt loops. “I guess. You’re lucky I love you.”

“Yeah, I am,” I say, emotion tickling my throat. “Very lucky.”

“Can I at least get some good-luck loving?” he says, his eyes dark with desire.

“What do you want?” I ask, waggling my eyebrows at him.

He laughs. “I want a piece of this ass,” he says, taking two handfuls of my ass. “But we’re leaving in a bit.”

“Yeah, how about a good-luck kiss?” I ask, looking at him through my eyelashes.

“I love when you do that. You look so innocent and hot. Come here,” he demands and then his mouth is crashing against mine. Roughly we kiss, his hand tangling in my hair as I take a fistful of his sweatshirt, bringing him closer, wanting to mold myself against him.

Parting only to breathe, I move my nose along his. I’m nervous about tonight. My heart is pounding and I know that it’s going to be okay, but I still wish Jude would be there too. Opening my eyes, I say, “Tonight is that investor thing. Wish me luck.”

“I didn’t know that was tonight,” he says, his brow coming up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shrug. “We’ve both been so busy; it’s not a big deal.”

His brows come together as he shakes his head. “Yes, it is. This is important. I would have skipped the game tonight, said I hurt my groin or something.”

I roll my eyes. “No flipping way. It’s fine. I promise.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes searching mine. “I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me,” he admits, tucking his hands into my pants pockets.

Cupping his face, I smile. “I’m sorry. Don’t be, okay?”

He runs his nose along mine and then nods. “Okay, I assume you’re going up there?”

“Yeah, probably after I’m done with Reese and Phillip. We’re all going together.”

“So you told them?” he asks, his eyes meeting mine, and I can see how much this bothers him.

“I’m sorry, Jude, I swear. I should have told you – you’re right. The only reason they know is ’cause I said I had to be done by nine to get down there.”

Nipping at my lip, he nods. “Okay, I forgive you, but next time, tell me. I want to be there for everything. I want to support you.”

My stomach churns a little as I nod. “I promise. I’m sorry.”

“Okay, well, let me know how it goes. I probably won’t be home till close to one.”

“Sinclair! Let’s go!” someone calls, and I look over to see that it was his coach. Meeting Jude’s gaze, I lean against him, hugging him close. Needing to feel his body against mine.

“Call me after the game. The show doesn’t start till ten. You’ll be done by then, right?” I ask, dusting my lips against his.

“Yeah, I’ll text you.”

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you more,” he says, pressing his lips to mine again. He kisses me once more and then on my knuckles before saying, “Good luck.”

I smile. “You too.”

He sends me a grin, and I watch as he tucks his headphones in his ears and then heads toward the bus. I wait till they pull out, blowing a kiss to Jude before I slump against my car, letting out a breath. It’s all over after tonight. I won’t ever have to lie again or ever feel like shit the way I do now. I know I have brought this on myself, but I can’t wait till I never have to worry about it again. When I don’t ever have to wear sky-high shoes and dance in a way that disrespects my uncle and my boyfriend. When I started this, I don’t think I really thought it through. I was too blinded by the money. I never wanted to be cold or hungry again. I just wanted to live with the knowledge of being safe. I didn’t think I could hurt anyone, but now after the fight with Phillip, I know I can, and I never want anyone to feel the pain I felt for those six days not knowing what my uncle was thinking.

Now all I need is the love of my family and my man.

That’s it.

Getting in my car, fighting back the tears, I head back to my dorm. I plan on sleeping since it’s going to be a long night, but Jude has other plans, and for the next two hours we talk and bullshit around as he rides to Chattanooga.

Hey Jude: My dad is an asshole.

Me: I could have told u that.

Hey Jude: Yeah, he told my mom she couldn’t drive to Chattanooga for our game. He’s in New York so she isn’t allowed to drive herself. Thankfully Lucy is going to drive her and Jace and Angie.

Me: Wow, what a jerk. I would have driven her, but I’m a bad girlfriend.

Hey Jude: Lol. Yeah u are. U naughty, naughty girl.

I smile.

Me: Stop, ur turning me on.

Hey Jude: Oh yeah? Hmm. I like that it doesn’t take much.

Me: Ha. I bet ur hard just thinking about me being turned on.

Hey Jude: Guilty.

Holding my stomach, I laugh so hard as I roll over to my stomach, holding my phone as I text him.

Me: U r so horny!

Hey Jude: Only for u.

Closing my eyes, I cuddle into my pillow as I look at the screen, wishing it was him instead.