Boarded by Love (56 page)

When a hand slides into mine, I look over to find Claire, and I’m a little taken aback by what I see; she has more makeup on than I’ve ever seen on her before.

With my brow up, I say, “Hey.”

I then lean over, kissing the side of her mouth since her lips are so red, I’m sure it will stain my mouth. I usually don’t mind, but that stuff looks as if I’ll need Clorox to get it off.

“Hey, I need to talk to you,” she says, her eyes wide and her breathing labored.

Before I can answer, I hear Jayden says, “Yeah, she’s with him. Why?”

Look back at Jayden, I make a face and he shrugs. Glancing back at Claire, I say, “Hold on, Jayden’s on the phone with my dad.”

“Um, okay,” she says just as Jayden hangs up.

“Yeah, I don’t know what the hell his problem is.”

“What did he say?” I ask.

“He asked if Mom was home, and I said I’m sure she is, but he’s bitching, saying she isn’t answering her phone. He went on a tirade about that and then he asked about Claire,” he says, looking over at her, pointing his phone at her. “So weird.”

“That is weird.”

“Yeah, he’s on his way home, said he’ll be there in a minute.”

“I thought he was in New York?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m gonna text Lucy and let her know he’s on another level and also check in, make sure they’re good.”

I nod. “Sounds good. He’s an idiot,” I say, shaking my head. “Oh well, I’ll meet you inside.”

“Okay. Hey, Claire,” he says, and Claire smiles as she waves.

“Hey, Jayden,” she says and then he heads inside, saying that he’ll get me a beer.

“Can we go by my car? I don’t want people hearing us,” she says, but before I can agree or disagree, she heads toward her car and I follow. Something inside my stomach clenches because something isn’t right. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I do. She doesn’t ever just walk away from me; she takes my hand or leans against me. Something is wrong and soon the hairs on my arms are standing at attention.

When we reach her car, she turns and I ask, “Why are you wearing so much makeup?”

She waves me off. “I just left the club. Remember the investors?”

“You wear that much makeup to meet some investors? It’s caked on.”

“I know. Just let it go okay? I need to tell you something,” she says, flustered. “One of the investors was your dad.”

My lip curls up. “Huh?”

“One of the investors planning to open a new burlesque club in New York was your dad,” she says and something isn’t clicking right.

“My dad is a lawyer for hockey players,” I say. “Are you sure it was my dad?”

She nods. “Yeah, he threatened me,” she says cautiously.

Shocked, I ask, “He did what?”

“Yeah, but it gets worse,” she says, looking everywhere but at me.

“How?” I ask and somehow I think I know what is about to come out of her mouth.

“After I turned down his deal, I went to get my purse and he walked up with one of the dancers from the club. She informed me that he was her boyfriend. Then he sent her to go to the car, and when she was gone, he tried to buy me off so that I wouldn’t tell you guys. When I said hell no, he threatened me but he never got his hands on me because the bodyguard stopped him.”

I must not be processing what she’s saying, but I know it’s the truth. I’ve always thought my dad was fucking around on my mom. He’s always such an ass to her and always gone and shit. For some reason though, my heart aches. It must be because my mom is going to be completely broken. She loves my dad for some fucked-up reason, and this isn’t going to go well. Taking in a slow breath, I clench my hand into a fist, my nails biting into my palm as I let out the breath in a whoosh.

“Wow, I need to call my mom,” I say almost like I’m in a trance.

“I’m sorry,” she says, and I shake my head.

“It’s not your fault,” I answer, reaching for my phone in my pocket. When I hit the screen, I see that I have four text messages and five missed calls from Jace.

“Shit. Jace has been calling and texting me.”

“I didn’t hear your phone ring,” she says and I nod.

“I had it on silent,” I say and then I open his messages.

Littler Bro: Dude, shit is going down over here. Mom and Dad are screaming at each other and Lucy left with Angie cause she doesn’t want her around this.

Littler Bro: What the hell is wrong with your phone? I’ve called you five times.

Littler Bro: Shit, Dad’s cheating on Mom with some slut from a strip club. I didn’t know that Claire is a stripper. She’s the one who found him with someone.

Littler Bro: Fuck, will you call me!

I didn’t know that Claire is a stripper.

No. Surely I’m reading that wrong. Looking up, I see that Claire is looking down, messing with her nails. She’s stiff, her shoulders back and tight and she’s working her lip, something she does when she’s nervous. My stomach turns and I feel like I might hurl everywhere.

No. No. Jace has to be wrong.

“Claire,” I say and she looks up at me, but then back down.

“What?”

“Look at me,” I demand, but she doesn’t for a second.

Then slowly, she looks up at me and my heart starts to pound in my chest because something is very wrong here. “Why are your eyes brown?”

Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out. She then takes a deep breath in and says, “I go to the club in a disguise. I wear a blond wig and brown contacts when I’m there.”

“Why?” I ask. “Because that doesn’t seem right if you are only choreographing. You don’t cake that much makeup on when you teach at the studio or when you do the dance team. Hell, even when you’re on the ice, you don’t have on that much makeup.”

I wait, and when her eyes start to fill with tears, I know that Jace isn’t wrong at all.

My girlfriend is a stripper.

Within seconds, my whole body is taut, burning with anger as I stare down at her, waiting for her to say something. Fucking anything, but all she’s doing is staring at me, taking in deeps breaths, her chest rising and falling with each breath. Unable to take it any longer, I say, “Well?”

“What did Jace say?” she asks, and I shake my head.

“Fuck no. Don’t let him tell me what you need to tell me.”

Biting into her lip, a tear rolls down her face and I refuse to look away. I promised to myself that I would never make her cry unhappy tears, that I would have a life for us full of love and happiness, but all I feel right now is red-hot anger.

She’s lied to me. She’s hidden something from me, and that’s not fucking okay.

Her lip wobbles, and she takes in a deep breath. “I work at Ms. Prissy’s as a dancer.”

And there it is. My blood boils under my skin as I slowly shake my head. “For how long?”

“Two years,” she answers and everything stops.

“Two fucking years? And you never told me?” I say, my voice getting louder with each word.

“It didn’t matter. It wasn’t what I planned on doing my whole life. I just need the money.”

“So you whored yourself out to get money and lied to me. Now it all makes sense,” I say, a lump forming in my throat. “All those nights you came to my house, saying that you couldn’t sleep. Lies. That day I found that money in your drawer, that wasn’t from Reese. It was from where you took your clothes off for men.”

“I don’t take my clothes off,” she cries. “I dance in panties and a bra.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me any more than you have,” I sneer. “I’ve been to that place.”

Her eyes fill with more tears as she nods. “I know, but you probably went to the Rock Room side. I work on the Burlesque side. I keep my clothes on. I do entice men for money, but they don’t touch me or ever see me naked. It’s not a big deal,” she says, and I laugh but with no humor.

“So if it isn’t a big deal then why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, taking a step toward her. “If you weren’t doing anything wrong, then why didn’t you fucking tell me?”

Tears start to roll down her cheeks in waves, and something inside me just breaks. “I’m sorry, but you have to understand. I needed the money. I needed to know that I would always be safe and secure. I would never go hungry or have to sleep in a car to make it.”

“What the fuck am I, Claire? I would never let that happen. I would work nine jobs just to make sure you are safe and happy! But no, you go and whore yourself out and lie to me,” I insist. “I would do anything for you, and I have. I haven’t lied to you or hurt you, and you’ve been lying to me our whole relationship!”

“You don’t understand, Jude! I went through hell, and I promised that I would never depend on anyone again because the people I trusted and loved left me to fend for myself. I wouldn’t eat for days; I had to sleep in a little section of the car because my mom would sprawl out, giving me no room. I had nothing. I had no one, and I thought money would be the way to fix that. I thought as long as I had money, then I wouldn’t need anything else, but I realize that I was wrong. I need you and I need my family, but I let the fact that I was making so much money ruin that, and in the process I lied to the two men I love and need more than my next breath,” she cries, big wet tears rolling down her cheeks and landing on her shirt.

As much as I want to gather her in my arms and tell her it’s okay, I know it’s not. I love this girl, I mean, I fucking do, but I refuse to be lied to. I refuse to be a doormat like my mother is. Claire has hurt me, honestly broken me. Like I feel as if she has carved my heart hollow and I just don’t understand. How do you lie to someone you love? Looking away, I take in a deep breath, willing myself to breathe and not lose my shit. I want to scream; I want to yell and even shake her to make her see how much she’s hurt me. That thought scares me to the core, but I know I’d never put a hand on her.

Looking up at me, her face full of black streaks from her makeup running, she whispers, “Jude, I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” I scoff. “This isn’t something that you can be sorry for because you knew you were wrong!” I yell, my own eyes filling with tears. “How did you look at me every night and day and hold this from me? You know how I feel about people looking at you, wanting you. You know how jealous I can get. I’ve learned to let it go because I trust you, but what am I supposed to think now? How am I ever supposed to trust you again?”

“I swear, I’m done, Jude. I only want to work backstage. I have a huge deal coming my way. I promise, I’ll never get on that stage again if you say not to and–”

“Claire, stop!” I shout, make her cringe as she wipes her palms against her legs. “This is not okay. You know how I feel about you, how I love you more than anything in this world, and you just don’t care. You don’t fucking respect me. You lied and you sold yourself for money.”

“I never sold myself!” she yells. “I danced. Something I love, and yes, I tried to seduce men with my body for money, but I promise, Jude, I swear, no one has ever touched me. I’m yours.”

When she tries to grab for my hands, I move them out of her reach, shaking my head. “No, you’re not, or you wouldn’t have lied to me,” I say, dying with each word that leaves my lips. “You’re basically your mother. Better pick up the crack pipe since you have the stripper part down.”

When her hand comes cracking against my face, I know I deserve that. As the sting of her hand burns my skin, my eyes don’t leave hers. She’s crying, sobbing as she looks up at me. I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I want her to hurt the way I do. Childish, fuck yeah, it is, but I’m basically dying right now.

“How dare you, Jude? I know I’m wrong, and I know that I should have told you, but calling me names is uncalled for. I understand that you’re upset, but what you just said to me is not fucking okay.”

“Um, Jude.”

Tearing my gaze from hers, I look to see my brother beside us, his face contorted in shock. Unable to speak, I just look at him until he finally says, “Some shit is going on at the house. We need to go.”

I nod once and then turn to look at Claire. “We have nothing else to discuss. We are done.”

“What?” she screeches, taking ahold of my arm but I shake it loose.

“Don’t touch me,” I warn and her eyes widen in shock.

“Don’t do this. Give me time to explain and apologize,” she begs, but I shake my head.

“I did that, and I can’t do it. We’re through, Claire. I’m disgusted with you. I can’t even look at you,” I sneer before starting for Jayden’s car. His eyes are wide, but he walks with me as I ignore Claire’s pleas.

“Jude, please! Stop, don’t do this!” she cries but I shake my head.

“Leave me alone, Claire,” I say, opening the door.

“If you get in that car and drive away without fixing this with me, then I swear to God, I’ll never speak to you again.”

Looking over my shoulder at her, I nod. “Good.”

With that, I get in the car and slam the door shut. Jayden doesn’t say anything; he just drives off, and I watch as she gets smaller and smaller in the side mirror. When I can’t see her anymore, that’s when I allow a tear to slowly roll down my cheek. When Jayden’s hand squeezes my shoulder, I stiffen up and wipe it away quickly.

I only wish I could wipe away the pain in my chest.

Nothing is said as we drive out to my parents’ home. Jayden doesn’t remove his hand, and I appreciate the support. I need it, but I wish I could just be alone, lick my wounds, and prepare to wake up tomorrow knowing that the first thing I’m not going to do is text her. I told her we’re through, but how do you completely let go of someone who is basically an extra appendage to you? How do you just stop loving someone? I know I have to, though. She lied to me, over and over again, about something she knew was wrong. That is the worst kind of lie, in my opinion.

Leaning my head back in the seat, exhaustion takes over, and I squeeze my eyes shut to keep from crying. I can’t believe this has happened. In one night, two relationships were ruined because of lies and deceit. The person I thought to be the most beautiful, amazing, perfect woman in the world just ripped my heart out and broke it. Broke me.