Boarded by Love (57 page)

Tears sting my eyes and I fight them away as I take in lungfuls of air.

How did this happen?

Why did it happen?

I don’t have those answers, and when we pull up to my parents’ house, all the lights are on, the front door open. But that’s not what I see first. I see my dad throw a punch and hit Jace dead in the jaw.

“Fuck!” Jayden yells, and before the car even comes to a stop, I jump out, running full speed toward my dad and push him to the ground. Standing above him, I yell, “Get the fuck up!”

“Jude! No!” my mom cries from the porch.

“You son of a bitch, you broke my arm!” my dad yells from the ground, and a smirk replaces the line my lips were in.

“Good, get up so I can break your fucking face,” I sneer. “You don’t hurt my family and get away with it.”

I feel Jayden flanking my left and then Jace on my right, but my eyes don’t leave the man who is more a sperm donor than anything else.

“Boys, please!” my mom sobs, but all three of us ignore her. “Just leave, Mark, and don’t come back.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he sneers at her, and I don’t like that one bit.

I don’t even realize I’m doing it until my fist connects with his nose. Falling forward, he holds his nose as my mom screams. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Jace says. “We don’t want you here.”

“I say we remove him,” Jayden says, his eyes dark with anger.

“No, boys, please. Just go, Mark!” my mom says. I look back at her, seeing that her face is red, tears streaming down her face, but the main thing I see is that her shirt is balled up in the front, like someone took a fistful of it to get ahold of her.

Snapping my head toward my sperm donor, I say, “Did you grab her shirt?”

Before he can answer, Jace says, “Yeah, that’s why I pushed him out the door. He tried to hit her.”

Looking back at my father, I’m not sure how I’m going to control my body, but somehow I keep it together and say, “So not only did you threaten my girlfriend, you tried to hurt my mom?”

He scoffs. “That slut you’re dating is just that. She’s the reason this is happening.”

Before I can defend Claire, though I’m not sure why when I just dumped her, Jace points at him. “No, this is happening because you are a cheating bastard,” Jace says, shaking his head. “This is no one’s fault but your own.”

“Shut the fuck up, you little shit. You’ll never be anything; you’re too fucking entitled. You expect everything to be given to you. All of you do. None of you work for shit. Yeah, I cheated because I want out!”

“Then leave!” Jace yells and I can see his eyes misting with tears. “We don’t want you here!”

“You little shit,” he yells, and he tries to go at Jace, but I push him away, throwing Jace behind me.

“Do I have to hit you again?” I ask. “Maybe I should just on principle, but that would be disrespectful since my mother has asked me not to. I’m gonna give you two minutes to get the fuck off this land.”

Glaring, he says, “You think you three are something, huh? Think you are going to make me leave? Cold day in hell! This is my house! All of you get out!”

Jayden nods. “Yeah, I know we can make you leave. Go.”

“Yeah, go,” Jace says from behind me, and I nod.

He glares at us, but I know all he sees are three big guys, ready and willing to beat the fuck out of him with years of pent-up anger and remorse. This man has never been a father. Yes, he gave me the gift of life and even the gift of hockey, but not once did he ever love me and nurture me. He was a constant pain in my ass, and I actually hope he doesn’t get in the car and we have to remove him. I have anger coursing through my body, and a fight would help release some of it.

My father opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn’t say it. Instead he just glares and then he turns to go to his BMW. Knowing that he’s leaving, I turn and head toward my mother. She’s leaning against the door, holding herself as she cries. As I wrap my arms around her, she lets go and basically throws all her weight on me. I take it and slowly lower us to the ground as she cries so hard into my shoulder. Stroking her back, I close my eyes and lean my head against hers.

“I loved him so much, Jude, even when he didn’t deserve it. How could he do this?” she cries and I shrug.

“I don’t know, Mom. I’m so sorry, but you don’t deserve this.”

“How will I make it? I don’t work; I just take care of you kids. He makes all the money.”

“We will figure it out together,” I whisper, kissing her temple. “You are better off without him. I swear.”

She starts to sob harder, and every tear that leaves her body hurts me. I don’t want to see my mom cry, or anyone I love cry, for that matter. Squeezing my eyes tight, I hold her closer and soon tears are falling from my eyes onto her hair. I think she feels them because her arms come around me, and just like that, the roles are reversed, and she’s comforting me like she has my whole entire life. Kissing my temple, she rocks me back and forth as I just lose it. I’ve never cried this hard in my life.

I cry for my mom, for the shit my family and I have endured from that asshole, but most of all I cry for my broken heart and for Claire’s. We thought this was it. We thought we were going to be together forever, but the whole time she was lying. She wasn’t being her whole self to me, and how does someone do that to someone they love?

I have no answers for anything.

I’m just empty.

M
y chest aches.

My eyes are all gummy and burning from where I have cried like a freaking baby for the last twenty minutes.

My nose is running like a faucet and my throat hurts from the sobs that have been ripping from me.

Along with all that, I just feel cold. Empty. Hollow. Meaningless.

Worthless. I feel fucking worthless.

Pulling into the driveway of my home, I park behind Phillip’s truck and get out, running to the front door. The light is off because, of course, they don’t expect company at one in the morning. Digging in my purse for my house keys, I curse myself for not just leaving them on my car key set. I always get nervous that if I lose my car keys I’ll lose my house key, and then I won’t be able to get into the house to get my car keys. I know; I’m crazy.

And I‘m fucking stupid for lying to Jude.

Frustrated, I cry out, dropping to my knees and dumping my purse on the porch. I shouldn’t be here. I mean, what are they going to do for me? I messed up, I ruined this, and now I have to figure out how to either A: fix it, or B: accept that Jude has every right to be mad at me and probably will never talk to me again.

“Oh, thank God!” I cry out, finding the house key that is on the Assassins key chain, but as I get up to open the door, leaving the contents of my purse behind, the door flies open and Phillip stands there in only a pair of shorts.

“Claire?”

I just stand there, tears dripping down my face, and I suck in a deep breath as my heart breaks all over again. Turning the porch light on, his eyes widen as he comes to me, stepping all over my stuff, but I don’t care.

“Claire, what’s wrong?” he asks, taking my shoulders in his hands. “Are you hurt?”

“He broke up with me,” I whisper, looking up into his face.

“Phillip?” I hear Reese ask, and I don’t know why, but I just break down. Crumpling against Phillip, he holds on to me as I cry so hard it hurts. Like, physically hurts. My body feels as if it has been hit by a Mack truck, my heart just feels numb, broken and everything just feels wrong. How did I let this happen? I knew that he could find out, but I thought he would listen to me, I thought he would understand.

Instead, he dumped me.

Picking me up, Phillip says, “That kid broke up with her.”

“Oh no,” Reese gasps as Phillip carries me into the house and into the living room. Once he lays me on the couch, Reese swoops in, bundling me in her arms, kissing my forehead. “Get her some water.” She kisses my forehead, moving my hair out of my face, and says, “It’s going to be okay, baby. Just breathe.”

Gasping for breath, I bawl into her chest, wrapping my arms around her, needing her love and comfort. I know now why I came here because I needed this. I needed Reese to tell me it was going to be okay. For a long time, we don’t move. Phillip walks around us, checking on me, and occasionally he rubs my back softly, asking me if I need anything. I say no because the thing I need won’t have me. When I’m all cried out and empty of all emotion, I close my eyes and sleep takes me quickly.

The last thing I think of is Jude calling me my mother.

When I wake the next morning, I’m alone on the couch, covered with my favorite One Direction blanket. Reaching for my phone that I find laying on the table, I check to see if I have any messages. I don’t. I check calls; there are none, so then I check Jude’s Facebook, and he hasn’t updated since yesterday. His last status says:

I love my girlfriend.

He then tagged me, and seeing those words, his profile picture of us kissing after one of his games, has my lip wobbling and my heart aching. I want to lie back down, cover myself with the blanket and just cry myself stupid, but then I feel like I need to wash my face. Sitting up, I look over to find Reese and Phillip at the kitchen island, watching me.

Looking away, embarrassed, I say, “Sorry for coming over so late.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. You are always welcome here,” Reese says. “I laid you out some towels and got you some old clothes if you want to go shower.”

Nodding, I stand up and tuck my phone in my pocket. I don’t look at them as I pass, heading to the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. Leaning against the door, a tear rolls down my face and I wipe it away before pulling out my phone. Clicking on my messages, I open a new text and type Jude’s name.

Me: Hey… I miss u. A lot. And I’m really sorry.

Unlike every other time, he doesn’t write back right away. When I get out of the shower after standing under the hot water for well over a half hour, I check and he still hasn’t written back. Maybe he had a rough night with his mom or something and he’s sleeping. When I look at the clock though, I see that it’s two in the afternoon. Cringing, I shake away the thoughts that come. I refuse to think that he’s moved on. He wouldn’t do that. He loves me. We’re just... Shit, he may love me, but that won’t keep him from finding someone else to fuck his pain away.

Picking my phone back up after dressing, I type:

Me: Please, Jude. Just talk to me. We can work this out.

Me: I love you.

Me: I don’t want to lose you.

When he still doesn’t answer me, I slide down the door and curl up in a ball on the floor, hugging my legs as the tears drip from my eyes and wet the Hogwarts pants I’m wearing. Swallowing back the sob that wants to escape, I cry, rocking back and forth as I stare at my phone. Waiting. Just for a response. I need one. I need to know he still loves me. I need to know he still wants me.

Closing my eyes, I rest my head on my knees and cry until Reese comes knocking on the bathroom door. “Claire, honey, you’ve been in there a while. Can you come out?”

I love how she doesn’t ask if I’m okay. I think she knows I’m devastated.

“Yeah,” I answer, standing up and tucking my phone in my pocket. Opening the door, she waits for me on the other side, a small smile on her face as she looks me over. I’m waiting for her to ask what happened, but a part of me thinks she knows. I think she knows that my lies caught up with me and that Jude did exactly what I feared.

He left me.

Reaching out, she laces her fingers with mine and asks, “Hungry?”

I shake my head, but my stomach betrays me and rumbles. She smiles as she pulls me against her side and says, “Well, maybe you can eat just to make me feel better.”