Boarded by Love (62 page)

“Oh shit!” Phillip yells, wrapping me up in his arms and hugging me. I feel Reese behind me, kissing my temple as they both hug me tightly. Tears rush down my cheeks as I hold on to the two people who have been my rock my whole life. When I told Reese that my life began when I came to them, I meant it. I came alive when I met Jude, but now that’s all over. Knowing that makes the tears come faster, drenching Phillip’s shirt. Kissing my cheek loudly, he says, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” I cry as we part. Wiping my face, I take in a deep breath. “I can’t believe it,” I laugh. “Me in Vegas!”

They both beam at me. “We’re so proud! When do you leave?” Reese asks.

“Around April,” I say, letting out the deep breath I sucked in. I want to be happy. I want to know this is going to be the start of my new life, but I just feel empty. I miss Jude. I want him here, beside me, cheering me on. I want to know that he’ll be there whenever I want to call him or need him. Swallowing a sob, I whisper, “I just wish Jude was here.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Reese says, running her thumb along my cheek, and we share a long, loving look.

“He was,” Phillip says.

I whip my head toward him as I screech, “What?!”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

I turn around, and I honestly feel like I’m going to pass out. Meeting Jude’s green eyes, I’m breathless, and I swear my heart stops at the sight of him. I haven’t seen him since the game and nothing has changed. He stills looks sad, his eyes dark and his beard growing thickly – which is so damn sexy, in my opinion. Taking in a breath, I whisper, “You came.”

“I did,” he says, his eyes locked to mine.

My whole body catches on fire, my heart clanking against my ribs, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. Breathing deeply, I say, “I’m so glad you did. Thank you.”

He nods and his eyes cut to where Phillip and Reese are watching us. I look over at them with wide eyes that say “Get the hell out of here!”

Thankfully Reese catches on and pulls Phillip’s arm. “Let’s go. Claire, call us when you’re done. We’ll go celebrate.”

“Huh?” Phillip says, confused. “I want to know what happens.”

“No! Let’s go,” she urges, sending a grin at Jude. “So nice to see you, Jude.”

“Nice seeing you, Reese,” he says before looking down at the ground.

“I’m not going home, Claire. We’re going to get barbecue,” Phillip says, annoyed, and I give him a dark look.

“I’ll meet you there,” I say as they get into the car with only a wave from Reese. When they pull away, I look back over at Jude and say, “Maybe you would like to come?”

He looks up at me and shrugs. “Maybe.”

Well, that’s hopeful, right? I hope so because I don’t think my heart can take any more. It is pounding hard against my ribs, my breath coming out in spurts, and I honestly don’t know what is going to happen here. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know if I should move, I can’t do anything but look deep into those emerald green eyes and hope to God I get the chance to look at them for the rest of my life.

“I miss you,” he whispers, his lips moving ever so slowly, and I swear those words are music to my ears.

I don’t even realize I’m crying again until the tears are running into my mouth. “I miss you, Jude. So damn much.”

“I’m sorry,” he says then. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and pulling away the way I have.”

“I understand why you did,” I say, my hands shaking at my sides.

“I’m scared, Claire,” he says, his own eyes filling with tears, and it fucking kills me. “I’m scared that I’m going to trust you and then you’ll break me again. I mean, I know this is probably not as big a deal as I’m making it, but I don’t do lying. I’ve been one hundred percent honest with you. I never lied, and you held this part of you away from me? Is it ’cause you thought I wouldn’t support you?”

I nod slowly. “I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew I danced like this.”

“Did you give me the chance, though?”

I shake my head, biting into my lips because he may very well miss me, and probably still loves me, but if he can’t trust me, what is the point?

“No, I didn’t,” I whisper. “And I know that’s wrong, but I couldn’t lose you. I knew the dancing wasn’t forever, I knew that it was just until I got the money I needed, and then I would quit. I had nothing, Jude, and I refused to live through that again. I don’t ever want to go back to that life, where being alive didn’t matter. A time when I didn’t believe in anything.” My throat is closed tight with emotion, and I have to look away to compose myself. “I thought I was going to be her; I thought I was going to be alone, no one loving me, and I couldn’t do it. I knew that I had to work. I had to make sure that I never quit and did everything I could to secure my future. I thought I was on my own. I never believed in trusting someone, in being in love, but Jude, that all changed the moment I met you. You’ve opened my eyes, my heart, and now I know I don’t need anything but the love of the people I love.”

Chancing it, I take a step toward him, and thank God, he doesn’t move. I then reach out, lacing my fingers with his, and I shake all over from the connection. I’ve been dreaming of touching him for the last two weeks, and to feel his warm, callused hands against mine causes the tears to almost choke me as I try to talk again. Taking in a deep breath, I clear my throat and very softly, I say, “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made the biggest one, but I promise you I will work my ass off to prove that I love you and that I will never lie to you or hurt you again. All I need is another chance. All I need is for you believe in me. I just need you to trust me again.”

His eyes are swimming in tears as he looks into my eyes intensely. His chest is rising and falling very quickly, his lips parted as he breathes in and out. My stomach feels empty, fluttery even, and everything inside me is frozen waiting for him to respond. When his lips start to move, nothing comes out, and I squeeze his fingers, my heart stopping. Suddenly he brings me to him and then his lips are moving against mine. I sob against his lips, crumpling into his arms as he holds me close to him. Kissing my lips, the side of my mouth, my nose. A hysterical laugh leaves my lips, but when his lips meet mine again, I close my eyes tight, savoring this moment.

When we part, he cups my face, looking deep into my eyes and everything just feels perfect. Magical even. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I smile and he smiles back.

“I’ve dreamed of doing that every second I breathed.”

I nod. “I’ve missed you so much.”

He moves his nose along mine. “I’ve missed you way more.”

As he moves his lips with mine, we hold each other as we kiss slowly, drawing out each kiss, making up for our time apart. Pulling back, I run my fingers through his beard and smile. “I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you,” he whispers against my mouth.

I swear it’s like Mount Rushmore just fell off my shoulders. Leaning into him, I kiss the side of his mouth and say, “Thank you.”

Smiling, he says, “You’re welcome, but really, I don’t think there is any other option but to trust you. It was my pride that kept me from you. I couldn’t let it go. I was worried that I would turn into my mom.”

“I would never do that to you,” I promise.

As he nods, his nose rubs against mine. “I know that now but it took me some time to realize that.”

“What made you change your mind?”

Pinching my jaw between his thumb and forefinger, he says, “I had someone tell me that that I had to think about never seeing your smile or hearing you say I love you, and if I could go on without it, then I didn’t need you. But if I couldn’t, then I had to let you into my heart and then I could make it better.”

“So they went all ‘Hey Jude’ on you?”

He nods. “To the fullest. It was kinda weird.”

Running my hands up his back, I curl my hand along his shoulders and lean into him. “I’m glad they did, because we’re way better together than we are apart.”

Closing his eyes, he places his lips so close to mine and then whispers, “I couldn’t agree more.”

He then takes my lips with his, drawing the sweetest and hottest kisses out of me. I mold against him, cherishing every second his lips are on mine. Parting ever so slightly, he whispers, “I thought that I could let you go, and I thought that having yours lips tattooed on my chest would be a great reminder of our love, but all it did was make me realize that I don’t want memories, I want us. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Claire. When I watched you dance tonight, I knew I couldn’t let my baby go to Vegas without knowing her man is right beside her, cheering her on.”

“So you heard?” I ask, my lips curving in a grin.

“Oh yeah, and man, I’m so proud of you,” he says with a beautiful grin on his face. Seeing it makes my heart hurt since I missed it so much. “The crazy thing is I trust you on that stage. If you want to dance, go ahead. You don’t need to, but if you want to, I support you and I love you.” My heart warms, my head feels fuzzy, and I can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. Smiling, he says, “It took losing you to know that. I had to grow a little more, and I think we needed those two weeks to realize that this wasn’t some fast, crazy love, that this is real.”

“It is real,” I say through tears. “I knew that from the beginning.”

“Yeah, I think so too.”

“But I won’t ever be on that stage. My contract is strictly to be a director and choreographer of the revue.”

He lets out a breath and says, “Oh, thank God.” I start to laugh and he smiles, holding me close to him. “I would have supported you, though.”

“I know, and I’ll always support you,” I breathe, running my fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to ever be apart, but there is a good chance we will be.”

“I know, especially with you going off to Vegas and me going wherever, but Claire, you know that you’re it for me, right?”

“I’ve always known that,” I whisper, moving my thumb along his beard, my heart exploding for this guy. “And we will be fine.”

“Of course we will because you’re the one. You’ve always been the one.”

I couldn’t say it better myself. Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I go to goo when he hugs me back just as tightly. With his mouth so close to mine, he looks into my eyes and I want to cry I’ve missed him so much, but now I’ll never have to miss him like that again. We may be apart in the future, but I’ll always know that he’s mine and I am his. We’re going to fight and we’re going to want to kill each other, but in the end, we will always love each other, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Getting lost in his gaze, I smile, running my thumb along his jaw. With a grin on his face, he kisses the side of my mouth and I suck in a deep breath, completely in awe of him. This is my boyfriend, my man, and I get to spend the rest of my days figuring out ways to show to him that he’s mine, and I know he’ll do the same.

“By the way,” he says against my lips. “I love you.”

I’ve never been one to believe words – I’m an action kind of girl – but when Jude’s eyes meet mine and those three words leave his lips, I completely believe him.

So with a grin on my face, my head dizzy from the hit of love he just gave me, I whisper, “By the way, I love you too. So very much more.”

“Just want I wanted to hear,” he says with a wink.

“Glad I could please, but Jude, you’ll need to get ready,” I say, my eyes dancing with mischief.

“For?” he asks, his eyes darkening with lust.

“Not that!” I say, and he grins as he lifts me off my feet, kissing my lips. “Okay, maybe some of that, but for real, get ready for our life together.”

Holding me close, his eyes bore into mine, and all I see is his love for me. I don’t know how we made it those two weeks without each other, but I know we will never be apart like that again.

Kissing my nose, he says, “It’s going to be amazing.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Seven months later…

M
y whole body is shaking, my heart is louder than the crack of a puck on a hockey stick, and I still can’t believe this is happening. This is my future. With my fingers laced tightly with Claire’s, I glance over at her, thankful that she flew to Boston for the draft. I was worried she wouldn’t able to make it, but she promised she would, and when I woke up this morning to her pounding on the door, I could have smothered her with kisses I was so happy to see her.