Read Body Language: 101 Online
Authors: Hanif Raah
Tags: #Politics & Social Sciences, #Philosophy, #Movements, #Deconstruction, #Self-Help, #Self-Esteem, #Two Hours or More (65-100 Pages)
Body Language: 101 (5 page)
Body language is a formidable tool in your hands if you know how to use it to your advantage. The ability to check whether a person is telling the truth, is attracted to you, is likely to oppose you, etc. can be invaluable. At the same time, it is important that you never forget what you already have, i.e. your gut feeling.
In most cases, you will know the truth almost instantly because your gut feeling already sent you the indication. The identification of the body language signs would be “collecting evidence”. It takes practice and you need to develop keen observation ability, i.e. you need to train yourself to take the whole picture in at a glance. You need to learn to recognize the context in which the body language would “inform” you about what is going on.
The individual body language signs are often not enough to draw conclusions; and if you do draw any inferences, it would be the wrong ones. It is therefore, of paramount importance that you learn how to read the context together with the body language individual signs.
Use this book to promote your career, to get people do what you want when you want and to be able to recognize your friends and enemies quicker and easier. In this case, forewarned is indeed forearmed.
Finally, if you have enjoyed reading this book or found any form of value in it, then I’d like to ask for a favor, would you be kind enough to share your thoughts and leave a review for this book on Amazon?
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Thank you and good luck!
Hanif Raah
‘Persuasion: The Subtle Art’
Before you embark on this endeavor, let us look at a few basic skills that are required to become successful in persuasion. You need to understand what makes this trait so special.
Persuasion Is Not Manipulation or Coercion
Persuasion is the art of making people agree to your idea or selling your idea to people. In other words, it is making them want what you want. There are many terms that are considered synonymous to persuasion such as manipulation and coercion. This is definitely not the same thing.
Manipulation is tricking people into doing something you want. Coercion is making them do it against their will. Persuasion is getting people to see it from your point of view and agreeing to it. Also, it is important that you understand that there would be cases where persuasion does not work; however, in most cases you would be able to do it, if you know how to do it.
To be able to persuade someone into doing anything, they should be able to connect to the proposal. In other words, the proposal should go to the right audience. Hence, you should time when and what you are saying to get the person to see your point of view. This is an important aspect of the art of persuasion. One will always tend to do what they believe is right and suitable for the present time.
You need to develop the ability to watch for the right time to make a pitch. At the same time, the pitch should connect and build on the beliefs to which the person conforms. When these two factors converge perfectly, persuasion becomes a piece of cake.
People who have mastered the art have learned to read people instinctively. This does not come easy. It takes time and effort to be able to catch at a glance whether the person is receptive or not to your idea. Normally, the telltale cues would come from the body language and the way the person expresses themselves. With experience, you would be able to “catch on” immediately to what are the right things to say to get the person on your side.
There has to be something that connects you to the person. Without a connect, there is no way you can persuade anyone to do your bidding. The good thing about “connect” is that there is always something that can connect you to another person. The key is to get to know what it is while the person is still interested in what you are saying. This is where the art of listening comes in handy.
“Listening” is not always about words; it is more often about what the person is trying to tell you through his body language and behavior. When a person likes what he hears he behaves in a certain way, when he doesn’t he behaves in a different way. There are always enough subtle hints that would tell you loud and clear what the person is thinking about when you are talking. The key is to read those signs and quickly re-adjust what you are saying so it connects to this person.
The moment you get a point of connect you can start building on that and bring the person to your perspective or view.
The Law of Compulsion of Reciprocity
Basically, every person feels compelled to return a favor. This is why companies who offer quality freebies almost always get the receiver to buy something. A person who receives something of value feels obligated and that is not a pleasant feeling. Hence, they will take the trouble to find out a way to repay a favor.
A master persuader would know how to leverage a favor for something they want smoothly and flawlessly.
You would be familiar with the adage, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” In other words, a master of persuasion knows that there is always a way; sometimes, you just need more time to find it. If it is important, you will always find a way to get the other person do what you want.
Sometimes, just being at it on and on and on gets it done. However, there is a very fine line between being persuasive and being an annoying pest. This is where you need to tread very carefully. The trick lies in focusing and highlighting the benefits to the other person while underplaying your side of the story. Hiding your benefit would make the person skeptical. Hence, your agenda should be on the table; however, it should be amply underplayed.
For example, let us say you are negotiating for a higher salary because you cannot make both ends meet on the present package. Instead of going to your boss and saying, “Boss, I seriously need a raise in the salary because I am unable to manage on what I am getting now.” You should go to him and say, “Boss, I think I am ready for additional responsibilities such as x, y, z and that would save the company a lot of money. Instead of hiring another person or persons, I could do this for a just a small increment raise. This would be a complete win-win situation.”
By focusing on the benefit of the person, you increase the probability rate of your success in persuading him to do as you want him to do. As you observe, you did not hide that you needed a raise; at the same time, the focus remains on the benefit the company gets (whom your boss represents).
What if he says “No”? You keep at it, until he sees your request in the right perspective. In the meantime, you work harder and show your boss your abilities to do more and better. Using the “compulsion to reciprocate” principle, you make the boss look good and he will reciprocate by giving in to your request.
The Law of Positive Reinforcement
Learn to see the good in others. Everybody has some excellent quality that sometimes is readily visible, and sometimes it is not. Teach yourself to…
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