BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (116 page)

"Why? I won't hurt you, you know I won't."

"Not when you've been drinking."

"Let me please you then."

"No, not even then - now leave me alone." She turned her head the other way, because he was still over her, trying to kiss her despite her telling him no.

He paused briefly in his actions, "You can be so cold sometimes."

She turned to look up at him, "I'm not trying to be cold Shawn, I don't like being touched, bothered, when you're drinking."

He stared down into her face, letting his mind shift to logical thought and reasoning, feeling angry with where his thoughts took him, "I hate the ways he's ruined you, made you feel like this. I hate that he had you first, mistreated you, abused you. I could spend an entire day, killing him, ohhh so slowly. I could... I could."

"Shawn! Don't say that..."

"Why not? It's true ... why would you care? You still got feelings for him or something? That why you think Crystal still wants Victor, because you still wantin'-..."

"Get off me! Get off me now! I mean it! Talking stupid, that damn liquor going to your head." She fumed trying to push him away from her.

Shawn rolled from her to his back on his side of the bed, hating that he'd said it; but he'd meant it, especially the part of him having her first. He hated that he was Mundo's father and had ruined him. He hated that he was Crystal's father and had destroyed that something precious in her that no little girl should know, or fear from her own father. And now, he couldn't even lay and caress his wife. Yes, granted, he had been drinking, but he would never hurt her, drinking or not. He wanted her to always enjoy his touch, he didn't have to penetrate her body, to feel good about bringing her pleasure, touching her, kissing her, making her cry out his name.

She was getting up from the bed, grabbing her pillow.

He looked up, "What are you doing?" he asked.

She stood by the bed, mad, pillow in hand, trying to grab the sheet from the bed to head downstairs. He leapt up from his side of the bed rushing to the door before her, blocking it, "Go back to bed, I won't bother you, promise."

"No thank you - move!"

Shawn leaned back against it, willing to stay there, running his hand over his head, through his hair, "I'm sorry - sorry I said what I said to you, please, go back to bed. You're right, I've been drinking - actin' like an asshole, talkin' shit - okay? Go back to bed now," He lifted both hands in the air, "Promise, I'll keep them to myself ... okay?"

Sylvia stood a moment, hugging the pillow to her. "I can't believe you said that to me! I can tell you now, if it were him I wanted, I would not be here with you now! He's dead, let him rest in peace, wherever he may be."

Anger shot through him again as he growled low, his anger hot, "Hopefully - hell! May he fuckin' roast there - he doesn't fuckin' deserve to rest in peace! You don't think I know what he's done to you?! I know - I know. And every time you show signs of what he's done to you, I wanna - smash his goddamn face in!" Shawn punched his fist into his palm three times, so hard, she feared for his hand, that it might start bleeding again. "Ugggh!" He rumbled from the fierceness of what went through his mind.

Sylvia stood with her system racing from the display of his aggression. "Calm down, Shawn." She went quiet, not sure what to say to bring him back from that place that made him feel like hitting, like fighting. Going against what she might normally do, she tossed the pillow back behind her, and went to him, slowly, in truth, a tiny bit shaken by him when he was this way. She looked up into his face, moving against his body, wrapping her arms around him, "Let's not, fight about it anymore, any of it, okay? Come on, let's just, go to bed." She leaned up, cautiously kissing his lower lip, his chin. "Okay?"

Shawn wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her up his body, kissing her rough and deep, breathing hard, feeling savage, animal. Running his hands along her back, into her hair, gripping it as he ravaged her mouth. Sylvia whimpered, but didn't pull away from him. Breathing deep from his nose, he'd heard and felt the fear in her, and slowly pulled himself into check, drawing in deep gasping breaths as he released her lips, their foreheads resting against the other. "Don't leave my bed, don't leave me, okay? I'll behave, I swear I will, 'kay?" His words started off strong and then turned gentle, pleading, like a little boy knowing he was doing wrong. Sylvia pulled her arms from his waist to wrap them around his shoulders, hugging him tightly to her. "I'm with you Shawn - because it's you - that I love, okay? You? Okay?"

He nodded, holding onto her, "'kay. Let's go to bed."

Sylvia pulled away from him, taking his hand in hers, they climbed back in bed together. She lay on her back, as he wrapped himself around her, his head to her breasts, his hand palming her round tummy where his son lay. A few moments later, he took a long deep, settling breath as if all the tension in his body abated, left it and then, he was off to sleep. Lying with her mind trying to shut down, with her fingers combing gently, soothingly through her husband's hair, she too soon followed him in sleep.

The next morning, they loaded up the Hummer and headed back to the condo; with Shawn attentive to his wife and remorseful for the night before. She wasn't saying much, not as animated as the day before, which bothered him. He couldn't believe he'd been so stupid as to have been obsessing over a dead man, but the longer he was in the midst of his wife, Crystal, Mundo, the more protective he felt over them. It amazed him how much influence a dead man could still hold, but it was there, clear for him to see.

At the condo, he had a few things to get done for Pen Tab publishing, which Mundo and Ben were more than glad to assist him with. They left for the rest of the day leaving Sylvia and Crystal to chill with the boys. Mother and daughter spent a lovely day talking about life, plans, men and themselves, it was a day well spent. When the men returned, things were pretty much back to normal. Shawn went into his office to get some things finished up, while the rest of the family sat out by the pool.

*

Wisconsin...

Victor lie in bed realizing he should be sleeping. He had to work that night after all, but he felt like hell. It was driving him insane not to hear from Crystal. Not one word, nothing! He didn't understand it, this was not like her, not like her at all. His heart was beating like mad, his imagination going crazy as he came to the conclusion, "You seeing someone else, aren't you? I just know you are!" He bit out low, angry and hurt by the idea. If she hadn't taken off the way she did, she would be there with him now; then what he'd done with Omiyah wouldn't have happened again. He couldn't let that repeat itself, he'd told her, no more; that she had to stay away from him now; for her to come back with, "Let's not make any hard and fast decisions right now. Let's just see what happens next, okay?" She practically pleaded. He'd tried to tell her, "What are you going to do when Crystal is back with me? I'm telling you, once I'm back with her, this is over." For her to stand by her decision to say again, "Well she's not back yet is she? When you two are back together, the way you were before, I'll accept it. But right now, you've got me, not her. Think about that a while, why don't you."

He was thinking about it all right. It was keeping him up thinking about it. Being alone, he hated being by himself. On and off, he fought with the urge to call his mother, maybe go and visit with them, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. She would smirk and dig, hinting towards an,
'I told you so'
as far as Crystal was concerned. Even now, after all that he'd done, he was alone, and she was gone. He hoped and prayed she was not involved with another guy, he would never live that down. He would be laughed at by his friends; his mother would dig into his pride until it was raw and bleeding. He really needed to talk to Crystal but he hadn't a clue of how to get in contact with her. He then remembered Shawn's family, and wracked his brain trying to remember their names and where they lived. He knew that they lived somewhere not far from Shawn, but where? He couldn't even remember what Shawn's parent's names were? McPherson he knew, but what was the first name? He sat up in bed looking around the room, and then through the house hunting for the white pages. Locating it, he went directly to the M's to find their name. And to his shock, there were many McPhersons in the phone book. "Shit!" He shook his head, and then with his finger beneath each name he ran it down the list of names hoping to find them, praying that seeing his father's first name or his mother's would jar his memory to recognize it. His other worry was that they may not even be listed. His finger ran over a name, that made him stop and go back up to it. He looked for the location, it said, Hillsboro. He went back to the name, Bartholomew. The name looked familiar as well the location.

He stared at the name for almost five minutes before he made up his mind to give it a try. Then he remembered the response he got from Jake when he asked for Shawn's number there and thought he better prepare a lie. Taking a deep breath, he dialed it with a little prayer.

Gert answered, "McPherson's."

"Hello, my name is Victor Prescott, uh - if you can tell me please, do you have older sons, one of them named Shawn?"

"Who wants to know?" She asked on guard.

"Let me explain ma'am, my wife, if you do have a son named Shawn, is with him now. Her name is Crystal, she left for L.A. with him and the rest of the family, and I uh, lost the number she gave me to contact her if I needed to. We have two boys together. Her mother is Sylvia, married to Shawn, if that is, he's your son. I've been going nuts trying to figure out how to contact them. I tried the phone book, praying I remembered your name, or your husband's, saw Bartho-..."

Laughing Gert softened her tone interrupting, "Say no more, you've reached the right place."

"Oh thank goodness! It was a gamble in the first place, but I can't figure how I lost that L.A. number."

"I do that all the time, misplacing things, hang on a minute, I'll get that for you."

"Thank you ma'am!" He gushed to her, and punched the air with his fist with a silent,
'YES!'
because he got that number.

A moment later she returned to the phone, "Here you go."

"Ready ma'am." He wrote out the number as she read it off to him. "You are a sweetheart and an angel, what is your name, if I may ask it?"

"I'm Gert, my husband's Bartholomew."

"Yes, yes ... of course, I've heard your name being discussed before but couldn't for the life of me remember it when I needed it."

"Heard me being discussed huh? Hope it was all good!" She queried.

"Why certainly! Okay, I thank you, must call her now! Goodbye!"

Excited about having the number, Victor wasted no time dialing it, however, it rang until the answering machine picked it up. Sighing, he hung up without leaving a message, deciding that he would try to get some sleep and then call again when it was time to get up. In fact, he would get up a bit earlier to have time to talk. Going back to bed, he smiled, so eager to speak with her. He missed her, he couldn't stand this time apart any longer. As far as he was concerned, he could have Jeanine, Omiyah and any other woman all day and night in his bed, but none, did it for him like Crystal. He thought about everything that had taken place since their separation, and his willingness just last week to confess all to her, admitting his part in where things went wrong, he still might - maybe. Hmmm, but he couldn't help but wonder, what would it mean to confess all to her? Would that then give her an advantage over him? He wasn't so sure he wanted that. Maybe, he would just work on being good. Just, do the right things, and try to be the kind of husband that ... his mind stopped it's thought due to the visual image of his father coming up. His father who did nothing, said nothing; went to work everyday, brought home his pay to his mother and basically, let her rule the roost. It was the only example he had to draw from and not a very appealing one. His mind fast forwarded into a fantasy of his life back with Crystal again, with him being the way his father was, and her, as his mother is - ruling the roost. Many scenes set up and played in his mind as he began to drift off to sleep, and right before he slipped into slumber unconsciousness, he muttered a, "Fuck that."

A few hours later after the alarm clock went off, waking him earlier than usual, he took his shower first, fixed himself something to eat, and then went to the phone. Taking a deep breath, he dialed the number once more. It rang and finally, it was answered, "McPherson's?" Shawn answered. Victor groaned, "Uh, hi, it's Victor."

Shawn held the phone and couldn't believe who he heard on the other end, "How did you get this number?" He asked briskly.

"I want to speak with my wife! With Crystal, please tell her I'm on the phone."

"I fuckin' brought her here to get her away from you, why the fuck would I tell her you're on the phone? Haven't you fucked her over enough?"

"You know what Shawn, you got nothing to do with us! It's not like you're her father or anything, she's not your daughter and our marriage and what happens in it is none of your business! Now tell her I'm-..." The phone was hung up on him. "Fuckin' hell! Fuck it, I can do this for the next half an hour." He muttered, re-dialling the number. But this time, the phone rang on and not even the answering machine came on. "Damn you! Who the fuck do you think you are!" Victor raged with little choice but to hang up and give in. "He thinks he's getting away with this shit, no way! Wait 'til they get back here, I'm fuckin' gonna tell him, asshole! She's my fuckin' wife!" Frustrated, he tried dialing Crystal's mobile phone but it was out of range and wouldn't connect. "This is pissing me off! He just moves in and takes over, I don't fuckin' think so." He steamed; because time wasn't on his side, he had to get ready for work. Arriving there, he started off in a bad mood; saying little to no one, only when it was necessary to speak, did he. The longer the night went on, the angrier he was at Shawn, even entertaining fantasies of getting into a fight with him. However, he knew that's as far as it would go, because he didn't want Sylvia angry at him. He wished that he could get a hold of her, she'd always been kind to him, listening to him, even though the last time they spoke it wasn't on good terms. Despite that one time, he thought that with her, at least she would give him a chance to speak with Crystal and not interfere with them.