BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (143 page)

Sweet - sweet sweet, black velvet. If ever there was a true heavenly black Goddess, she, his Vivian was her descendant, her earthly clone. Suddenly all in his world looked as if he had a chance to finally stand before his family as worthy - as good as Shawn.

Then Doris had killed herself.

Sitting at the present, thinking about it, driving, he did all he could not to dwell on her, what she did to herself, and why she'd done it. Part of him had wanted time to mourn her, but then, there was that other part of him, that impulsive him, that needy him, that could not stay away from Vivian. Even in the face of Doris killing herself. Even that, could not calm his need to reach out for something better for himself - even though, he himself felt unworthy of her. But his mother wanted her, of all the women in the world, no one meant more to Jake than his mother. He would give his mother the world if she asked for it and he could give it to her.

Consequently, all his mother wanted, was for him to stand up finally, be a man, be happy - and go for that gorgeous black velvet. That he could do. He could deliver that, because in truth, he wanted her too, he needed her, the core of his very soul that needed filling, he thought she was the answer to. Therefore, he had to have her. Not just in his bed, but by his side. As his wife. To stand before his parents, his mother, his father - to show, that he could do it, would do it. That he could not only get the most incredible creature he'd ever seen, his mother had ever seen, but he would make her his wife. She extolled all the virtues, morals, intelligence and dignity to make him stand proud. She was practically a virgin. Imperfect yes she was, having gotten involved with the doctor, a married man, but she'd already withdrawn from him, had been done with him by the time Jake came along; who was he to judge her for that mistake? After all, he knew that the doctor had pursued her, as any seeing man with taste would. No matter, that was in the past, she was now his and he had every intention of making sure she remained his, for good. No way in hell would he ever give up Vivian, no way, no matter what. He swore long ago he would probably never marry, because he liked women too much, many women. However, he swore, if he ever did find a woman that could make him, tie the knot, she would have to be one hell of a woman with a great deal going for her.

Vivian topped all on the list and then some.

Only two problems - only two things she lacked and he supposed two out of all else wasn't so bad. He just wished the two things she lacked wasn't her inability to match his sex drive, and her inability to handle the size of him. Of all the women he'd been with, only three that he could remember balked at his size, one of the three being that friend of theirs, Edwina. In truth, he'd been deliberately rough with her, he'd screwed her hard on general principles to teach her a lesson, and that was, the McPherson's were not to be fucked with. While he'd done some nasty things in the past screwing other guy's girlfriends, wives, hell even his brother's, he didn't appreciate a woman pulling that with Shawn and Sylvia. It was one thing for him to screw his brother over, they were family after all, but no one else was going to get away with it. Subsequently, she wanted some McPherson dick and he gave her some - but he hadn't raped her. She'd opened her room to him, inviting him in because she'd come to be done by his brother, and not wishing to leave disappointed, gave the opportunity to him.

"Stupid bitch." He mumbled.

Vivian, his soon to be wife, was the third woman who could not handle him. She was going to be the mother of his little girls - if he was blessed with girls. It made him feel funny in the pit of his stomach to see her dreading taking him on when it was clear it wasn't easy for her. He could pleasure her, easily - but the one thing he loved second most besides eating her up and making her scream, was slipping her his length and going at it for a while. Long as he was touching her, kissing her, tonguing her, she was in heaven, her young body under his complete control - but the moment he was ready to penetrate she seemed to tense up on him, as if dreading the moment he was in to the hilt. While some men derived pleasure from making it hurt, he did not - with the exception of Edwina. And he especially didn't care for the fact that his future wife, dreaded him. He remembered their last time, when he'd pushed it to make love to her, she'd literally groaned in despair. He realized he was going to have to practice backing off from full length thrusts, saving that for the last one or two strokes to fill her with his seed. He had every intention of getting her pregnant, and yet, if she struggled with him now, what would it be like when she was carrying his babies?

"Hmmm, I wonder if another ring would work?"

His thinking, planning, carried on as he made progress towards reaching their apartment, growing excited with seeing her again. She was a bit on the spoiled side, wanting to get her way all the time, but he could handle that. He smiled, thinking his little girls would be no less. He couldn't help thinking of them, praying for two, he wanted no less than two girls - and once more went into trying to conjure an image of them and what they might look like. Him or Vivian? Or a combo of them both? Creeping in his fantasy was the reality that they could be boys, after all - he had three of them.

That number stopped him. His mind forced him to correct himself, two sons. Ben, so it had turned out, was Shawn's after all. They would be home soon, he couldn't help but wonder how to deal with him now, going forward? How did one go from being the father of someone for so many years and then, just adjust to it being not so? It had especially hurt because while he would never admit it to anyone, Ben had been his favorite. He loved Kevin and Paul, but Ben -there had been something about him that drew him from the gut - there had been a great deal of emotion, pain and remorse wrapped up in accepting his responsibility to him - because he was his brother's son - the brother he had loved, looked up to, wanted so much to be close to - and now, he had his son. If Ben had been his, then once more, looking at him, he was looking at his brother - Ben from the very start, had touched his soul. Whereas with Kevin and Paul, he hadn't been as taken with them, as he had been with Ben when he went to them, responded to their call. The more Jake thought about that, the more he realized that in a way, he'd more than likely, done to them, what his father had done to him. Overlooked him - thus he, kinda overlooked them.

He thought about them and wondered had they felt the difference in the way he was with Ben, as with them? He then reflected on Kevin's outburst with him in the kitchen when Vivian defended him. He felt it, the difference, it had come out right then. Whereas Paul had never let on if he was aware, because he had always been grateful for whatever time he gave them. He sighed, the more he thought about it, the more he realized just how much he owed his very own sons.

Again, he shook off his thoughts, he was at Ashland Avenue, the main road leading to their place. Right away his mind went back to Vivian - he couldn't wait to get her with him. He needed her in place in his life. He needed her there, as his wife to help him deal with his sons, and maybe - make some corrections. He sensed, more so with Kevin than with Paul. Paul was extra kind, insightful and giving - he always went the extra mile for family, friends and certainly his brothers and father. Yes, he would finally settle down, provide a home for them to come to, with a wife that was smart, moral, and a fighter. He chuckled to himself thinking about her, and a bit crazy. He could handle crazy, because there were times, many times when he felt crazy as well - angry crazy that could make him capable of doing things shocking to others. That part of him had been ignited in him when Shawn had left home. Leaving him, whether he wanted to be in his shoes or not, it was his turn to fill them. And just as he had with all things he'd done to prove himself just as good as Shawn, he had put those shoes on and made those that tested him, sorry they ever had. Yes, he knew crazy well.

That had been in the past, he was older now, and a bit more wiser. Even so, he still had his tendencies to screw up. That curse of impulsiveness still had a way of rearing it's ugly head, that - he had yet to get under control. He wouldn't worry about that now. He had a future wife to collect; a home to renovate for her; babies to make; and a singing carrier to build, one he hoped would mean success for him. He couldn't wait for Shawn to return to show him what he had so far, he'd compiled a list of songs he would cover with the new ones he'd written. Now, he needed a band, he wasn't entirely sure how to go about putting a band together, but put one together he would. His brother would know how, Shawn always knew just what to do. Jake smiled, he was glad that he was back, that he was home, home to stay.

In no time at all, lost in thought as he had been, he found himself turning down the long boulevard on the off side of the park he would have to drive down, turn onto one of the cut through streets and then come back up to pull in front of their apartment. Thankfully, at this time of evening, there was hardly any traffic so his cut through time had been relatively easy. When he pulled up in front of the gray stone flats, there was no where to park, among two other vehicles, there was his truck, with his Vivian and Sheila standing by, loading it up. She looked up to see if it was him, he gave a quick sounding of the horn and she immediately burst into a beautiful, wide white smile. Chuckling, excited himself to see her, he drove on to pull into the side street and park.

Vivian couldn't believe how worried and scared she'd been that morning; because right now, seeing him, the sight of him driving, operating such a large vehicle, hit on all the areas within her being a feminine woman; something so simple as that was effective in turning her on. The sight of this very virile, heterosexual man, masculine to the core, sent a thrill rushing through her that was undeniable. It showed clear to see with her broad grin, her teeth showing from the first sight of him. Try as she might, she couldn't douse the giddiness he evoked.

Sheila standing as a witness to it, couldn't resist, "I'mo start callin' yo'ass Cybil. This morning you was trippin' and whining, now look at you - I can count all them teeth in your face." She teased grinning.

"You can call me any damn thing you want to, talk about me all you want - that's my man! Damn he look good - handlin' that big ass rig. But then, he used to handlin' big things." She bragged.

"But yo'ass ain't, so don't be complainin' when he grab yo'ass later."

"Ha ha ha - you so quick to remind me. I know, and I don't care. Problem with me Sheila, knowing I can't always handle him, doesn't stop me from wanting him, that's the crazy part. Even when something in my gut nags me now and then, telling me - not this one Vivian - walk away." She further confessed.

"What? Girl - if you felt that way, why you let it get this far?"

"I want him Sheila, I want - him. I love him. He does that something in me, that I'm afraid no other man will ever do, will never come close to doing."

"Even though you can't handle him? Or, trust him?"

Vivian looked from the end of the block where she'd been staring, waiting for him to appear after parking, answering her best friend in all the world, "What can I say? Everything in life worth having, comes at a high price. I've always been willing to pay big for what I want, and I want him."

"You sho' right about that, you do write some big checks baby girl, let's just hope this one, don't bounce on yo'ass - let's just hope you got what it takes to cover it, otherwise-..."

"Stop Sheila. I want him, I love him, simply as that." She cut her off gently. Then headed off towards the end of the block to look for him. Leaving Sheila behind, shaking her head and wondering what her little sister was getting herself into.

Half way to the corner, Vivian saw him, turning it; walking tall in his cowboy boots, dressed in black jeans, a white wife beater t-shirt underneath his plaid red and black flannel buttoned up halfway. From where she was, she could see he was smiling and happy to see her as well, and her heart grew wings, flying high.

"Lil'girl, get here and great your man proper!" He called in his deep timbre.

Laughing Vivian skipped into a trot, rushing to him, stopping him right on the dark street, palming his cheeks, leaning into him she rose on her toes, placing a chaste kiss on his lips, which he readily accepted, a large warm hand supporting her lower back. "I missed you." She broke the kiss to confess.

"Better have, you all packed up?" He asked as he resumed his forward motion, with her moving to his side, arms around each other.

"Packed up and loading the truck. Sheila's here helping me."

He could see that as they drew closer to where the truck was parked, "Sheila! Hello lady, I see you here taking care of my lil'girl and son, have they been behaving?"

Sheila laughed, forgetting all that she and Vivian had been speaking about with him present. Standing there as she was, in his presence, she would be the first to admit, that this man, was a very hard one to resist. Were she not so happily married to Dennis, the man of her dreams; this one, knowing all that she did about him, would be a temptation to her, even if for just a memorable night of pleasure. He had that something about him that made you tingle from within; everything about him. She just prayed that Vivian could find her happiness with him.

"They have no choice but to behave, I'on play!" She grinned up at him in reply.

"Well I thank you lady, I'll take'em from here." He returned.

"Yeah, you both funny, I'm grown!" Vivian reminded them.

"Almost." Jake followed her declaration, clearly joking with her.

"Yeah, I'm grown enough when we're alone at night, ain't I?" She pointed out to him.

Jake laughed out, turning to Sheila, "She got me there," and back to Vivian, "I'll be reminding you of that later," he promised softly, "Now, where's my son?"

He was coming out the door with more of Vivian's packed bags as he asked the question. Shaking his head, "Hey dad, we're almost packed." He spoke up.