BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (204 page)

Your big sister always... Crystal

Sylvia lowered the note and turned to Angela, who sat, rocked and cried against the wall, trying not to sob, but it wasn't working. Her face was mottled and red, her mouth pressed thin, wiping at a steady flow of tears as she struggled not to give into the sobs that was already forcing her chest to pump from her deep sucking with each breath.

"Angela-..."

"Make her - make her c-come back! Make her come back ho-home! I - I don' wan-want her to gooo, I don't wan-want her to goooo."

"Oh Angela, I can't make her come back, I wish I could, believe me I do, but I can't make her."

"Call my dad, he'll go get her." She cried.

"Not even your dad Angela, can make this right. Crystal is a young woman, married to Victor-..."

"Divorced from Victor! They're divorced! Why'd he have to-to come here-here messing with her-her? She was happy here! We made her happy! Whose gonna take care of the bo-boys?! They're not gonna li-like it there, they wan-wanna be here-here with us! It's not fair!"

Sylvia rubbed her forehead, pressing her temples, thinking,
'Lord Jesus, when does it end?'
- it took her twenty minutes of talking to try and calm her, but in the end, she was still upset. She wanted her big sister back home and that was that, nothing much Sylvia could do to soothe her from that course.

On top of that, there were three semi's that had pulled up parking along the road on the gravel and grass. They were apart of the security company that was there to get started on extending the foundation for their new home and panic room and route out of it - if - the need required them to run. Also there, were the workers to finish the place above the garage and the deck that would be built out back from the garage for the guest to barbecue on. While all this was happening, of course Shawn was gone, so Sylvia was up having to deal with the kids, Angela being upset, answering questions about the building work and plans, and having to go to the studio to find paperwork Shawn made out, having to do with the house. She didn't know what she was looking for, what it looked like, and where to find it. Finally she ended up having to call Shawn on his mobile about it. Mundo was there and they were heading back home, he also directed her to the paperwork she needed, letting her know they'd be back home soon; before hanging up, she found what she was looking for and that was that, thank goodness.

Back at the house, as soon as she walked back in, the phone was ringing, "Hello?"

"Hi mama, it's me."

"Crystal, what in the world are you doing girl?"

"I'm on my way grocery shopping and, I thought, well - can I come by, pick up the rest of my stuff?"

"No - you can't. I'll bring it to you. Angela, has been crying her eyes out all morning because you're gone - I cannot deal with the kind of scene it will cause you coming back here, not only that, Shawn will no doubt be here when you show, I wouldn't put it past him to lock you away somewhere."

"Oh man, mama I didn't mean to upset her, you think Shawn will be mad at me?"

"As for Angela, of course she is going to be upset Crystal, she loves you, you're the best thing that's happened to her since, since, her father! You come before me, to her!"

"I don't know about that."

"No Crystal, it's true. She loves you, you're the big sister every little girl wants - she was devastated by that letter. What happened to you waiting Crystal? Giving yourself some time? Giving him time? And as for that b.s. line about not putting me and Shawn through it, that's bull too! I'm your mother, I will never turn you away, I don't care what Victor does out there on that street! And as for Shawn, he's in Madison right now with Ben, as you know - what in the world is gonna happen when he gets home? And further more, what about that session you two need to go to tonight? You forgetting that?"

"No."

"So what's your plan?"

"I don't know mama, I haven't thought everything through yet, all I know is - I have to be sure. And - well, the point is, I filed to try and get him back, I did, so - there was no sense in dragging it out, I just came back home."

"Where did all of that come from all of a sudden Crystal? All these days, we've been talking, you never once mentioned anything like that, now - I go to bed, it just pops into your head and off you go? No no no, something else happened here last night! I don't know what, but I'm sorry, I don't believe you just started thinking, I should go home! Not after all the things you told me that was wrong with your marriage in the first place."

"Mama please - it's done, I'm here now."

"Em hm, and the boys, how are they?" Sylvia asked.

Crystal sighed, "Isaac is mad at me, and Darren sticks to me like glue, they act like they don't even know their own father."

"And Victor, what is he doing?"

"He just woke - in the shower."

"Crystal, you go from making one mess for yourself, into creating another-..."

"I don't mean to mama." She groaned pitifully.

"I
know
that! But the point is, you do! You need to stop jumping into the decisions you make. You need to ask about a decision first and get another opinion before you dive in, girl! You have your entire family behind you! You're not alone Crystal! Why are you acting like this is all your mess?!"

"Because mama, I'm your daughter - I'm like you - my problems, are mine."

Sylvia felt all of the wind go out of her, "Ohhh Crystal..."

"Mama, this is my mess! My marriage! My doing! I gotta go, I'll talk to you later. I'm sorry mama, I love you, but - it's done, bye."

Sylvia clicked off the phone, "Lord have mercy - and I'm having - another one! Why Lord? Why am I a glutton for punishment, please tell me that!?" She laid the phone down on the counter in the kitchen shaking her head, heard another knock on the door upstairs.

"Now who in the hell can that be?" She muttered, making her way back up the stairs, heading for the front door. "Who is it?" She called out and then looked through the peep hole and couldn't believe who she thought she was seeing, followed by his voice.

"Your brother - Lucas."

Sylvia opened the door, her eyes wide in disbelief, "Lucas? Oh my goodness! Lucas!"

"Hey lil'sis - no hug?"

*

Shawn and Ben had spent the morning repairing Derricks basement window using Meribel's van, getting themselves breakfast and then waited for Mundo. By the time he arrived, they were both tired from having such a late night and being up early as well. Mundo ran Shawn by the hospital where he left the keys to the house and van with his brother, wishing him the best, followed by a tight hug and he was off. Meribel had been knocked out so he wasn't staying long. In the Blazer with Mundo, Ben was stretched out on the back seat, dozing on and off while Mundo drove, and Shawn riding shotgun, slouched low, with the seat down doing the same. He couldn't doze right off because he was too busy grilling Mundo.

"What time you get in this morning?"

"Who me?" He asked, grinning broadly.

Shawn only grunted cracking an eyelid open, with the one eye on Mundo, waiting for the answer.

Once more Mundo grinned, "Ohhh lemme'see, it was close to 3:30." He admitted.

"Hell! Should you be driving?" Shawn sat up.

"Hey, I'm straight. I got home, straight to bed, got me six, I can get a lot done on six, but I will be seeking a nap when we get back, that's fo'sho-sho!"

"No problem, Sylvia says there's a lot going on there, they're working on the B & B extra place on top of the garage - plus the security team is there for across the road. I also got a call from Deidre, she says she's coming by because she's purchased a large mobile home for the security station of Angela's driver and bodyguard - that will be going in on the land she bought today as well."

"Man, she don't play! I's on!"

"Yep, all thanks to you, it is on - so I hope you can sleep with all that going on around you. She stated the mobile home for the security will be in - completely today - she's paid for it to be so, which means she has been busy. Anyway, how'd your set go last night?"

Once more, Mundo was all teeth, pulling open his middle console, he instructed Shawn, "Reach right in there and pull out my wallet, and with it in hand, I want you to count out 3 months car note baby - count it out - while you at it - count yo'self up three months on my insurance - hehehe - and ah, while you at that, just for interest for yo'self, put a hun'ned fi'ty in yo'pocket! Don't tell mama about that, o'else she take that too!"

Shawn threw his head back laughing, "That's my boy! Let's see, that leaves you with how much," Shawn counted what was left, "Seventy-five dollars? Hmmm, how about I pocket fifty for me, and that leaves you with one-seventy-five?"

"Dad look, I don't pay no bills, but my insurance and car note. I eat everyday, got my own room, living large with family, got what I need to get my groove right, and gone make some more money next weekend, it's summertime! Party over here, party over there - I'm on it! I will have me some more money, soon as I run off me another drum of my mixes, got my ink for the covers I'm printing, got two drums of a hundred; last night, I got rid of a drum and a half! Who? I ain' playin' - I'm smoking!" He finished, winking at Shawn, "So take it; it only gives me motivation to make some more money. My goal, before the summer is up, to pay you off for my equipment and the car - with a little extra thrown in, that way, I can focus on school when it start, knowing I got a clean slate."

Shawn sat with his wallet and the money on his lap shaking his head, "You make me proud, you gone kick ass comin' and goin' once you pick up your licenses and certifications, get that full blown training, who's gonna stop you?!"

"Only death! I swear befo' God up in heaven, only death gone stop me now - long as I got you, mama in my corner, I'on need nothing else." He declared.

Shawn smiled, grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it, "Well you do, what we discussed, remember? And uh, to be honest, you should be going with Crystal and I tonight, we need to get you started on that path to healing, don't you think?"

"Ah come on dad, I'm straight, for real."

"No, no you're not - you can spare some time for that. If I can do it, Crystal can do it, then you can do it - no excuses, I want you to join us."

"Man, dad - counsellin' expensive as hell."

"Let me worry about that, okay?"

"You know what, you can't carry everybody man - no matter how much you want to, you can't. You know, I may be absent from the family from time to time, but when I'm not home, I think about my home. I think about the way home used to be, and I think about the way it is now - the difference, is you! You man, you have made a world of difference in my life, in my sister's life. And you know what, for me to be a man, the kind of man my dad is, and I'm talkin' about
you
- I need to carry myself! I need to harness all the good shit you dealing out, and just say, hey - no no, you ain't got to carry me - but ah, let me grab that, that and that off you, how that feel now?"

Shawn turned away from him gazing out of his window through blurred eyes, partly because he was so tired; all he could think of, was how much he loved his children. They were beautiful, real, deep, loving and loyal and they made him proud, those of his loins and those spiritually his, given to him by God. He had to wipe his eyes, because it was all he ever wanted, was someone to love him, really love him, care about him. Nothing gripped him like having this young man, someone who could have hated his presence for daring to step into their lives, make such a declaration to him. As bad as the world was, there was good pocketed here and there, little treasures - for those who might be worthy of them, who made a little effort to manifest, cultivate and grow it where they could find it.

He felt blessed.

Mundo sat driving, deep in thought, feeling like the man next to him, feeling like, his own man. He knew what he would be when he finished growing up, he knew what he wanted and he knew the time was now to go for it. His only worry at the moment, was for his sister. They were all quiet, he could hear soft little snores coming from the back seat, from Ben. Part of him wanted to warn them about what they'd find when they got home, and part of him couldn't find the words to. He wished to God, she hadn't gone back. As much as he liked Victor, the more thinking he did, watching, observing his family, the more he realized that they all needed at the very least, a year to be together just to grow and heal and bond.