BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (201 page)

"He likes Ben,
a lot. They both do, in fact, why is it Victor, that in a short period of time, Ben can take Darren anywhere with him-..."

"What the hell is he doing taking my sons anywhere, and why would you let him?"

"No no no, that's not the point here, the point here is - why and how can
another man, step into
your
shoes with
your
sons, and they're much more
happier
with him in them, than you? That's the question that
you
need to ask
yourself
and
answer
- because it's part of our problem Victor."

"Ah come on man, it's early in the morning, do we have to start out early in the morning? Besides, we need to focus on us first, and then the boys next."

"No no no no no, if there was just you and I - no boys, we could do that-..."

"I wanna go ho-o-ome!"

"...- but it's too late for that, they are just as important to us, or rather, should be-..."

"Call Ben!"

"... - as our marriage. They, who are more apart of you, than I will ever be, should be your first priority-..."

"No! Call Ben!"

"-... and then maybe, we can focus on us."

"He's yelling for Ben, why is my son - yelling for Ben?!" Victor demanded.

"No! Not m'daddy!" Isaac walked over with a balled fist and struck Victor on the thigh.

"Isaac, no! You dont' do that,
that
- he -
Victor
is your daddy, not Ben, I've told you that!" She scolded him.

"No! I'm goin' home!" He insisted.

Victor looked down at him, "You are home, now go in that living room, sit down and be quiet so your mother and I can talk!" He ordered.

"NO!" Isaac yelled up at him.

Victor turned to Crystal, "Real nice job you've done here, turning my own sons against me, letting him, turn my sons against me."

"Victor, your relationship with your sons, is your doing. No matter what I may have done to you, or not, has nothing to do with how they, your sons, see you. That has always been in your hands, so don't blame me, I'm not wearing that one, I've got enough on my shoulders,
thank you very much!" She stood from the bed, "Hush all that growling Isaac, it won't work, we're home, start realizing that, come on, I'll get you guys some breakfast."

Isaac ran out of her hand that palmed the back of his head, towards the front door, placing his back there next to it, glared at both of them stubbornly. He wasn't saying anything more, but his stance was clear, he wanted out of there. Victor and Crystal stood in the dinning room, their eyes on him.

"Hun'ry mama." Darren murmured softly below her ear.

"Okay baby, mama fix you something now." and to Victor, "I were you, I'd start working on that." She gestured with her head towards his son and turned towards the kitchen, where sitting on the kitchen table and on the floor, was the groceries he bought, still in the plastic bags. She couldn't believe it. Setting Darren down, she went to them praying that he had at least put the milk and yogurt in the refrigerator. She was relieved to see that he had, but left everything else for her to put away. Already, he was doing only his part, and what he considered her part, heaven forbid he do too much of that. She bit her lip, keeping a whole lot of what she felt about this, leaving everything for her to put away, to herself. Enough was already said a bit too close to one of their many arguments surrounding Isaac and Darren; if this was going to work, she decided she needed to bite her tongue more often, and just get on with it. After all, it was a little thing. She worked as fast as she could to put away what he'd bought, because Darren was singing his hungry song. He was not a very patient baby when it came to the first meal of the morning. She was trying to concentrate on what she was doing, while listening for what was going on in the other room, but she wasn't hearing anything. She took a banana, peeled it back so far and broke off a bit to give Darren to placate him, he took it and popped it into his mouth, following on her tail around the kitchen as she put the foods away. They liked pork'n'beans, bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast and she got going on that for them. Still trying to make out what was going on in the other room between Victor and Isaac. She couldn't hear either of them saying anything. Unable to bear her curiosity a moment more, she slowly walked to the door that opened to the dinning room and looked out into the living room, she could not believe her eyes.

Victor had stretched back out on the sofa, fast asleep, leaving Isaac standing by the door. There he stood, not moving. she crept further in to look at him, he was quiet, sad and looking up at her very upset. Suddenly his face crumbled and he began shedding silent tears, standing as he was, wiping at them, but not making a sound.

Seeing that; with Victor laying on the sofa, sleeping, and her son, with a look of being broken hearted and dejected, standing in the door, crying silent tears made her not only angry, but wonder once more, had she done the right thing? She couldn't see how it was right for her 3 year old son to be standing, crying silent tears - it messed with her stomach, her head; her heart. It was too early in his life to look and feel broken hearted. He should be laughing, joyous, excited and anticipating his day, pretty much the way things had been when she was at home, when in the midst of her mother, Shawn, Mundo, Angela and yes - Ben. She thought about the days when she'd been sleeping and been awakened by her boy's laughter, to get up, investigate and find that Ben had them - Ben will have fed them breakfast; washed them up, changed Darren or had him on the toilet already - singing to him, making faces; him and Isaac to entertain Darren on the toilet. Forgetting herself for a moment, lost in a daydream, Crystal snapped out of it to see her son again, hugging the door frame, while the other whispered up at her, "Hun'ry mama."

She picked him up, resisting the urge to walk to the sofa and slap Victor across his bare back, hard! Instead, she lifted her hand towards Isaac, and quietly pleaded with her eyes, to come to her, she would feed them. He stood a moment hesitating, wiped his face, then rushed to her. She knelt, holding Darren and whispered to Isaac, "I love you - it'll be okay, we'll go grocery shopping after I feed you two, okay?" She spoke low to him.

He whispered back, "We gone see Ben?"

Crystal wanted to sob, but didn't, shaking her head, "No, not today. Come on, let me get you two fed." Standing, taking his hand, she lead them back to the kitchen, trying to keep quiet not to wake Victor. Not out of consideration - but because she just didn't want to have to talk to him. She didn't want to have to tell him what he should be doing. She didn't want to have to try and get through to him that he was further distancing himself from his sons. She wasn't going to start that over again, like before. It seemed that the first time, she'd become his mother in trying to tell him what he should be doing, while he spent his time telling her what she shouldn't be doing. Not anymore - she wasn't telling him anything. She had two little boys, not three. She needed a man - one that did more than go to work, brought home the money - allocated some to her - leaving the rest for her to take care of, which included him. She didn't want a man to take care of, not like that - she wanted a man that saw about her, about his sons, about his family and in return, she would see to his needs - do her part and then some, because that kind of man would make her feel that way, doing all she could to cherish him, show how much it all meant to her.

A man, like Ben

It took everything in her power, not to turn off the stove, grab her sons and rush out the door, leaving Victor once more - she needed to give them time, after all - it was only her first day back.

*

Vivian was up and sitting on the side of the bed, ears buzzing, eyes seeming to flash lighter and darker versions of the lighting in the room around her, their bedroom. While she should feel completely rested, she felt heavy, her arms felt heavy, her head felt heavy, like she wanted to sleep some more. Which she felt was ridiculous, after all, Jake had had less sleep than her, yet he'd gotten up and was off to work. As she sat, she felt a slight throb in her breasts, which also felt tender, sensitive and tingly. She figured this was partly due to Jake playing with her nipples and breast before he rose from their bed earlier that morning.

She had on one of her spaghetti strap sleepers with it's deep V cleavage, double, narrow, front panels for a bodice which of course, had allowed part of her breast and mostly her nipple to slip free of it. This had been witnessed by her future husband who could not resist his urge to touch it lightly with his finger tips. Immediately the dark nipple and areola bunch, stood and hardened in reaction to his touch, making him lean forward flicking it with the tip of his tongue.

Vivian had groaned as the effects of him doing so rushed through her body, touching every nerve ending, especially the nerves surrounding her lower feminine region, she squirmed and rolled to her back, still sleeping. The taut rigidness of her standing nipple caught once more against the panel as her breast with gravity tried to return beneath her sleeper, leaving the nipple standing out in full view, arousing Jake even more. He rose, leaning over her, to gently suck the Hershey kisses like nipple into his mouth, the tip of his tongue firmly flicking over and around it as he bathed and sucked on it, waking Vivian who once more groaned. There was pleasure and yet, tender discomfort in his attention to her, making her draw it away from him and out of his mouth.

"Emmm, baby, it's a little sore." She'd murmured softly, folding her arms over her breasts turning away from him.

"Sorry, was I sucking too hard?" He asked softly, stroking her upper arm, feeling randy, rubbing an erection against her buttocks.

"Please, nooo, not now - I just don't want to." She murmured sleepily.

Jake had laid against her back a few more moments, considering her request to be left alone. It wasn't often that she denied him, and something in her manner, instinctively made him feel he needed to back off and leave her. He followed the gut feeling and hugged her instead, kissing her ear and then her shoulder, "Go back to sleep."

She had, only to be awakened before he left, asking her, "Will you bring lunch for me to work? Don't have time to make myself one, and I'm broke until tomorrow, when we get paid." He'd asked softly.

"Get money from my purse babe." She'd whispered softly.

"No, bring me lunch, it will answer a lot of curiosity at work, and besides, I need to know who to invite to our wedding. So bring me lunch, Shanna will tell you how to get there. Once you find it, drive to the back pick up yard, and someone there, or myself will let you in. See you later." He'd kissed her and was gone.

Now, she sat on the side of the bed, and it was close to 11:30, Jake had his lunch at 12:30, she had one hour to get ready and to get him something to eat and there, yet all she wanted to do was lay back down and sleep.

"Shower!" She spoke to herself out loud.

And rose forcing herself to it. Once that was done, she felt more refreshed - awake. She dawned a very pretty, mid-thigh summer dress filled with a print of bold flowers of orange, yellow, lime green and white. She spritzed on her favorite perfume, did her eyes, a bit of cheek rouge, lipstick, shaped her fro, slipped her feet into her three inch heel sandals and came out feeling so much better.

Shanna had the instructions ready for her, "It's an easy place to find, really well known, if you miss it, just ask someone and they'll point you to it. I'd pick him up a couple of subway sandwiches on the way, he loves those things, and it won't take long."

"Thank you so much, I better get going, I'm a bit nervous, he wants to expose me to those he works with."

Shanna cracked up laughing, "You make yourself sound like a virus he wants everybody to catch!"

Vivian had to giggle as well, "Yeah, I didn't mean it quite like that."

"Doesn't matter, when they get a look at you, and see past your color; because let's face it, you are going to shock some, but once they see past that and realize how incredibly beautiful you are, they'll know why he chose you. By the way, you are a knock out in that ensemble girlfriend, you keep coming out with clothes like that, I will be forced to raid your closet!"

"Thank you, don't think it's too short do you?"

"No! It's perfect, show them shapely legs in those heels, you are too out'ah'sight!"