BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (85 page)

Crystal looked down, trying to come to grips with it - trying to see Shawn that way; she felt as Deidre did, he wasn't that person, whoever he had been back then.

"Is that why you two divorced?" Ben asked.

"No! Not at all. My parents, my mother is the reason we divorced. Wrong, wrong -
I am
the reason we divorced, I let my family, come between us. All Shawn has ever wanted, was to have a big family and live back in Wisconsin with his family and raise our children away from this place. Had I made the choice to put that first and follow him, I would still be with him now."

Crystal looked up at her, "You sound like you're still in love with him?"

"Crystal, it's taken me a long time to accept that my marriage and life with him is over, a long time. But I
have
accepted it now. He loves your mother - he loves his life now and - I don't doubt for a moment, that he's already suffering for his past. I'm asking you, not to take what you know, and add to it."

They were both quiet a spell, thinking about it. Not satisfied with the nights events, Ben wanted to know, "What about your father? Mr. Wherrington? He gets to do what he did to Crystal and just - gets away with it?"

"I need you to leave this with me." She asked gently.

Crystal looked up, "He's threatened to tell about Shawn, can you make sure - he never says anything about his past? I don't care about what he did to me, I can take it - it's over. But - I don't want anyone, hurting Shawn. Hurting our family - we just got him - my mother's happy, we're happy - can you make sure he keeps his mouth shut?" Instead of her being turned away by what she'd found out, she understood him even more now - he was even more human - with flaws and mistakes. Once more, to be sure - they would talk, but for now - she needed to be certain, this whole matter ended that night.

"I assure you Crystal, my father will not be sharing that - with anyone else. I promise you that."

They both looked at Ben, they could see him steaming as he sat.

"Ben?" Crystal called his name. He looked at her, obviously angry. "This is bullshit! I did what I had to do, helping you lie about it - but - I don't like it! He talks so much about being a man! He should face up to his past and admit it - put it out there, stop trying to hide it! Because it only gives people like Mr. Wherrington, something to hold over his head! Our head! Your head! To keep you quiet! I should have broken his fuckin' jaw - so he wouldn't be getting away with it! In that, maybe I
should
be more like my father! Because right now, that bastard has no consequences to face for what he's done to you and I don't fuckin' like it!" Ben threw the limo door open and jumped out.

Charlie whistled shaking her head, "God, I love my job. And I thought my life was all about the drama - no sa', ya'll got me beat!"

"Charlie!?!" Deidre called her name exasperated.

"Sorry, sorry, let me shut up."

Crystal and Deidre sighed.

"I better go, calm him down and get home. If I know Shawn, he'll be looking for us."

"Call him, so he doesn't worry, let him know you guys are all right." Deidre instructed as Crystal went to step out of the limo. Ben was standing by the door, waiting for her. "I will, thank you Deidre, and - up until him - we did have a nice time. Nothing can take that part away."

"Good." Deidre smiled.

They were back in the limo, Ben was quiet, Crystal was on the phone with Shawn, "You have a good time? Everything okay?" Shawn asked.

"Yep, we're fine, we'll be home pretty soon, so you don't have to wait up for us, I know that's what you're doing."

Shawn smiled into the phone and yawned, "I guess I am kind of tired, long as everything is okay."

"Like I said, we're just fine, so go to bed, see you in the morning." Crystal finished.

"Okay, see you in the morning."

She clicked her phone off gazing at Ben across from her.

"You okay?" She asked.

"No, I'm not. I hate people like that! He's off to sleep the night away because he hasn't a worry in the world! Know why? Because I didn't knock thirty years of shit out of him! The police can't touch him, won't touch him, know why? Because he's one of the rich and famous, able to buy themselves out of everything! And we, you and I - can't even report what a lowlife wad of shit, ground into
our
carpet he is! Why, because "our" dear daddy did porn!"

"He was young Ben when he did that, you heard her."

"All those years, he's been here - doing that!"

"Not
all
those years!" She defended Shawn.

"How do you know? Do you know him? Do I know him?"

"Yes! I know him, and regardless of his past, it's just that - it has nothing to do with us!"

"It does when someone like Oscar T Wherrington does what he has to you and we have to keep quiet or else he'll be ruined! Ruined because he's been lying all of these years about his so called L.A. success! I remember when I was a little boy and he used to call! I remember all the conversations about what he told everyone he was doing! Lies! All lies and now, his lies are keeping Mr Wherrington out of jail - which is where he should have gone tonight." Ben shook his head, thinking, "No wonder he's wound up so tight - must be hell living a lie."

"Get off of his case Ben." Crystal warned low.

Ben looked at her shaking his head, "You can still defend him after what happened tonight?"

"He didn't make Mr Wherrington the asshole that he is! What happened tonight was not his fault!"

"It was his fault we couldn't report the truth to the police! To protect him! Because of his living a lie."

"I guess you've never told a lie, huh Ben? Your life is just a perfect open book, huh? Why you would never be caught lying to anyone, would you? Nooo, not you! Gail tell you to have a good time with me tonight? Huh? Have you told her, that you love her, like you told me?"

Ben gulped. "Crystal ... you think I set out for this to happen?"

"You think Shawn set out to make the past that he has? Having a man like his father? And a son, holier than thou, like you?"

"I never claimed to be holier than thou."

"Then stop coming off that way! You are what you are because of your life and the directions it took you in. He is what he is because of the way
his
went. Quincy raised you - Mr McPherson raised him - that alone makes the two of you different."

He lifted his hand, his mouth partially open, needing to say something, but not sure what, he closed his mouth and let it drop.

They were pulling up in front of the condo. The car stopped. Not waiting, Crystal threw her door open to step out, unwilling to wait for anyone to open it for her, "Call your girlfriend, call Gail - and, leave me alone ... because I don't think people like us, Shawn, my family, are good enough for you."

"Crystal - god! Don't do this! Why do you always misunderstand - Crystal... will you stop!" He jumped out trying to catch up with her, "I never said..." He followed trying to defend himself as she rushed for the front door, stopping, she spun back to him hissing, "Shhh! He could still be up and I don't want him coming out wondering why we're arguing!"

He quieted down hissing back at her, "We're arguing because you're so damn difficult sometimes! I never said I was better than him, you or anyone else! God almighty! Can't I do anything right with you!"

"I never asked
you
, to do anything for me - or with me
anyway
- Benjamin Caesar McPherson! I'm home now, safe and sound! This is where you get to step back and wash your hands of the whole thing!
It
happened to
me
, not you! So forget it okay? Once this week is over you can go back to your perfect little world and your perfect little girlfriend! Gail! Remember her?"

"Damn it Crystal!"

Refusing to let him say another word, she turned back to the door, opening it and rushed inside, taking her shoes off she shot straight up the stairs and to her room.

Feeling emotionally beat up, Ben walked in locking the door behind himself. He made his way up the stairs, rounding the top, Shawn stuck his head out of the bedroom door whispering, "You guys back? You okay?"

"Yeah." Ben answered simply.

Shawn stood a moment confused by his lack of enthusiasm. "Where's Crystal?" He whispered.

"Exhausted - we had some kind of night. She had a bit to drink tonight, so have I - I'm gonna ah - head off to bed, goodnight."

Shawn nodded, still not convinced, but backed into his room, "Goodnight."

Ben entered the room, tossing the soiled jacket to the chair, removing his ripped shirt as he went. He glanced at Mundo, he slept soundly, the boys as well were out of it. Trying to keep quiet, with so much on his mind, he undressed. Putting on a muscle shirt and house lounging trousers he sat on the bed, not tired enough yet to sleep. Glancing to the side table, sitting on the floor between the bed and it, was his laptop bag. He pulled it out and left the room. In the kitchen off the family room he sat in the dark at the kitchen table, powering up his laptop. Signing in, it found their wireless connection making it Internet ready, giving it a moment, he let his emails load and went first to them. He sighed long and deep, in and among the junk mail, an email from Kevin, there were four from Gail. He would read Kevin's later.

Going to the first of Gail's, he read,

Your girl, Gail

And next the second,