BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (87 page)

Ya' dyin' t'kno-o-ow?...

Yes, she’s my friend,

She’s my girl,

She’s my lover

She’s my worl',

Ain’t - no - way

I’d consider - switchin' her f'another

If it bothers - you - to see

This fine woman - next to me…

Turn – your – head…

(Chorus)

Because - here we come

Here-e-e-ere - we - come

Walkin’ down the street

Walkin’ – down – the - street

Get the - stupidest looks - from

Different people we me-e-e-eet!

Jake considered changing that line, about stupid people, but then, decided to keep it. It was the way he felt. He paused a bit lost in thought about what it meant to him to be with a woman like Vivian. A black, and, beautiful woman. To the world, he knew, they would see him and feel that he wasn't supposed to be with a woman like her. Especially going into the Country music industry - he knew there was a good chance,
that
alone would keep him from making it to the top of the charts. But she -
she
was his inspiration.
She
made him feel like finally doing something, doing this. Over the years, growing up, and as he was a man, he'd played on and off with the idea of getting into song writing, performing, but he'd let it be nothing more than a thought, an occasional daydream. Now ... things had changed. His life was changing. He finally felt it overwhelming, that he had something to prove, to everyone. Even to people that didn't know him and he didn't know. He wanted his father to see him as something more than, the middle son and the trouble causer in the family. Especially now, that Shawn was back.

Yes, he would show them. He would show them all - and he wasn't going to be a coward about what he was feeling with Vivian as his inspiration. If it hadn't been for her coming into his life, and yes, perhaps Shawn coming back - he would still be doing nothing with himself. He would still be with Doris no doubt.

He stopped, wishing he hadn't gone there in his thinking.

She'd died because of him, despite what his mother said. He, inadvertently was the cause of her being too humiliated to live on.

He laid down his pencil and sat back. He sat and thought, and felt all the ugly feelings of his wrong doing. So much regret. He didn't regret leaving her, what he regretted was getting involved with her in the first place. Sighing deep, he considered that maybe, maybe that was another song - but for now, he picked his pencil back up, because despite it all - Vivian made him feel - like he needed to do something and this time, do something he would. He was going all the way, come what may. He read from the top again, singing low as he went, thinking about what should come next.

Next verse... he wrote it as it came to him, once more, scratching and correcting, and then with a smile, he nodded, and from the top sang - adding the last part...

Shhhhh – try not t’make a sound

Right here baby...

I’m your man...

Lemme la-a-ay y’down

Caress that – smooth – dark - skin

Once again, hittin' - that - spot

‘cause she likes it a lot

I'm watchin her, about to blow

As'er proud - white - man

Betta’ belive - I - kno-o-o-ow - That…

(Chorus)

Here’s she comes

Here – she – comes

Can hear - her - down the street

Al-l-l-l down the street

Get them - knowin’ grins - from

All the neighbors we me-e-e-et

Yeah – here we come

Here-ere-ere – we – come

Here – we – come…

Here-ere-ere – we – come…

Here – we – co-o-o-ome

Jake sat back and laughed, a dirty, raunchy laugh and knew, that's how he would sing the song. He would sing it with a dirty, proud - don't give a shit what anybody thinks timbre, that said, they could take it or leave it. That was going to be his break into the business song. Smiling, he sat back and lit another cigarette, thinking about the next. Already sharp on the idea of what came next, it would be a quirky, novelty throw away. He wanted to show, that he had a sense of humor and country craziness as well. And in no time flat, wrote out the song, "Alien Girl!" All together, he had six songs going for him even though the song "Good Son" was holding him up. Unlike the others, it wasn't flowing, mainly because, it was about his father. Then he thought about the song for his brother, Shawn. Smiling, he started on it, it would be a take from the old hit, "Big Bad John" Laughing, he would reword it to sing, "Big Bad Shawn." And that one flowed with him laughing out loud as he wrote. He'd have to keep that one a secret, because big bad Shawn would probably not like it.

Half an hour later he stood, stretching and walked to the counter making coffee. He heard someone up using the bathroom, a moment later - Paul showed up. Jake glanced up - it was almost seven in the morning.

"Mornin' dad."

"Mornin', you're up early." Jake returned.

"Got a lot on my mind - couldn't sleep."

"What in the world could be on your mind keepin' you up? You're only eighteen for goodness sake."

"Just because I'm eighteen it doesn't mean I don't think about stuff. I have a life to plan for you know, things I wanna do with it."

Jake shook his head, "You scare me Paul, chill man, go back to bed, sleep until we have to call you out of bed."

"Well actually, I'm up because I need to talk to you about something, rather, something I need to ask you."

"Ah shit." Jake groaned low, "Before you start, let me pour myself a cup of coffee, wanna cup?" He offered fixing his cup and reached for another one, in case he said yes.

"Yes, please."

"How you want it?"

"Cream, sugar - just a bit of both."

Jake nodded walking to the refrigerator, getting the creamer out, sighing he instructed, "Go ahead, ask away."

"This is Vivian's last week here." He pointed out to begin.

"Better believe it is." He mumbled, adding sugar and milk to Paul's cup and then, taking the steaming filled carafe, poured his black, and poured his son's.

"Dad - ah - I wanna stay here with her, for this last week."

Jake turned to look at him as he stirred his coffee and passed it to him, picking up his own, he settled back against the counter, staring at him, holding the cup in one hand, bracing himself against the counter with the other. As he stared, he realized he was facing a "parent" decision moment. Finally remembering he was expected to say something the first thing that came from his mouth was, "Why?"

"There's a couple of people on that list I made that I could help, that I want to help." He explained.

"Paul, this is Chicago."

"I know that dad."

"Paul?!" Jake grumped his name irritated by being forced to have to make a decision as a parent. It was a part of being a father that he'd never really had to face. He stared, lost, trapped, insecure in what he was supposed to do, say.

"Dad? Well?"

"Man, are you nuts!? You can't stay here by yourself! I have to go back, I have to be at work all week."

"Dad, I'm not going to be by myself, I'll be here with Vivian! Besides, I'm not a little boy, not anymore."

"You're not a grown man either!" He argued.

"True, but I'm old enough to make these kinds of decisions. And, I've decided to stay and help where I can. I have enough resources to do something and it's good for my public relations profile and portfolio."

Again, Jake could only stare. He suddenly heard someone else up. He hoped it was Vivian, he didn't know what to do and was afraid of dealing with it alone. Sitting his coffee down he walked by Paul, eying him as if he had something contagious passing him by. Paul followed him with his eyes, wondering where he was going. "Dad?" He called a bit exasperated.

Jake ignored him for the moment stepping down the short hall to see Vivian yawning, heading for the bathroom. "You're up! Good, hurry up and do your thing, we've got a dilemma on our hands!" He informed her, just short of panicking.

"A what? A dilemma? What's going on?" She asked over another yawn.

He nudged her into the bathroom, coming in behind her.

"Jake! Do you mind, I have use the toilet!" She informed him.

"Can't you just pee while I tell you what's going on?"

"No I can-not! Can't it wait until I'm finished in here?"

"Well hurry up, don't take all morning." He grumbled going back out of the bathroom, but waiting outside the door, wouldn't go back in the kitchen with Paul just in case he started asking him again. In the kitchen, sighing and shaking his head, Paul went into the cabinet, grabbing the Pop Tarts, popped two in the toaster and waiting on them to toast, looked toward the hall to see what his father was up to. "Dad?! What are you doing? Your coffee's getting cold!"

Making a face, Jake slowly walked back toward the kitchen eying Paul.

"So Dad-..."

"Sht! Wait..." He walked to the counter getting his coffee, drinking it, next heading to the table to pick up his tablet just as Paul was looking at it. "Mine! Eyeballs out of there!"

Grinning Paul asked, "What was that? What you writing?"

"That is none of your business!" Jake took his tablet heading towards his room with it to put it away for the time being, when he came out, Vivian was in the kitchen talking to Paul. They stopped and looked at him as he re-entered the room, "Well, you tell her what you asked me?" Jake started right away.

Vivian smiled shaking her head, "Yes, he did, why is it a dilemma?"

"Well isn't it obvious?"

Vivian looked at him a moment and then, shrugged, "No, it's not obvious, why is it obvious? He is, a very responsible person with a purpose for wishing to stay for the rest of the week."

"So you're saying that you think it's okay?" He asked stunned.

"With careful planning, a backup structure in place and some important guidelines for him to follow, sure, why not?"

Jake stood looking from her, to his grinning son, and was immediately irritated, "I don't know why I asked you, hell, you're just short of being a teenager yourself!"

Shifting her hip and rotating her head on neck, she set him straight, "I beg your par-don - I am hardly a teenager, or even close to being one."

"He's only 18 years old!"

"As I said, we will have to plan it, structure it, lay out guidelines, but - I trust him. He can take me to the Lstation and drop me off, and pick me up when I'm due back. Don't forget there's also Sheila and Dennis, who if we ask, will be more than willing to look out for him. Dennis comes and goes from work as he needs to and Sheila is home all day, I know for a fact, she will look after him. All we have to do is ask them."

"Okay, obviously, I'm going to have to just say it, because you're acting like it isn't obvious what the problem is here, he - is a white boy! A young, vulnerable, innocent white boy with a soft heart! You want me to leave him, my son to go about Chicago, and work in a predominantly black neighborhood-..."

"A very nice, black neighborhood. It's not the ghetto Jake; where he'll be working is not teaming with gang-bangers. It just so happens that there are a few people there living in homes that have been rented out and the landlord is not doing what he should."

"Like that lady with the two kids for instance!" Paul cut in.

"If the neighborhood was so right, why does she need our help?!" Jake asked.

"Jake! You're being unreasonable. The area is nice, that's not to say that things happening in it, are all nice."

"My point exactly! So you want me to just turn my son over and say, hey everyone, have at'im!"

"You're exaggerating Jake! It's not that bad, if it were, I would be on your side! That lady and a few others are going through what many people go through. She, I'm willing to bet, is living in a HUD accommodation where the landlord is neglecting her because the government is no doubt paying most of her rent."

"Well then, she should report him, or whomever to HUD - but my son-..."

"Dad, I want to do this! I told you that I did!"

"Does your mother know about this?"

"As a matter of fact, yes - yes she does. She trusts me too."

"Hey! I trust you, damn right I do - it's other people I'm worried about!"