Bound Together (82 page)
Authors: Marie Coulson
feel tears in my eyes pushing hard for release. I’d cried so much I
couldn’t believe there could possibly be any more tears left for me
to shed. But as the salty warm droplets fell onto my sheets, I
curled up and gave in to the sobs that racked and shook my body. If
I couldn’t choose one, I was going to have to let them both go and
it hurt, deeply and like a stabbing through my heart the pain left
me breathless as I cried myself slowly to sleep.
Chapter
50
Making The
Leap
held a cushion close to my chest and stared at the blank TV screen.
Slumping down next to me, dad draped an arm over my shoulders and
pulled me to him for a warm hug. “Baby girl I hate seeing you so
hurt. What can I do to make it better?”
I shook my head and
snuggled into his chest. “Go back a year and stop me from ever
going to college.” I didn’t mean it. If I’d never gone I would
never have met Amy, Ollie or Jared and though I was hurting I
wouldn’t have changed a single moment. All the good, bad and awful
things had changed my life forever and changed me for the better.
Amy’s fun and wonderfully upbeat personality had encouraged me to
be free, take chances and have more fun than I ever had in my life.
Ollie’s loyal and sweet friendship was like a drug and I was
addicted to the sound of his beautiful voice in my ear. Bringing me
comfort and making me feel like the most important person in the
world, he was everything a girl could ever dream of.
And then there was Jared.
He’d shown me a world I never knew existed. A world full of hot,
sheet clenching bondage play, spanking and euphoric sexual
pleasure. The intense and all-consuming love between us had been a
thing of fairy tales or movies. And I was about to lose it all.
Ollie and Jared were soon going to be leaving my life for good and
the thought made my chest feel tight and nausea began creeping
inside my stomach.
Checking the clock on the
far wall, I wondered what they were doing. Jared would probably be
on his way to LAX by now and Ollie no doubt had his skillful hands
on someone’s motorcycle. Hugging the cushion in my arms tightly I
took a deep breath forcing myself not to cry. My cell was sitting
on the table and startling me, it rang loudly. Releasing me, my
father grabbed it and handed it to me with a slight smile. Seeing
the caller I.D, I smiled as well. “Hi Amy.”
I could hear Mel in the
background and realized I was on speaker phone. “Hi
Mel.”
They whispered something
to each other as I waited patiently on the line. “Hi sweetie. How
you feeling?”
“
Lousy.”
“
Sorry. Well Mel and I
just wondered if you wanted us to get your stuff ready for summer
break for you since you’re still at your folks.”
Shit. I’d completely
forgotten that I needed to clear my things before the end of the
week. “No it’s ok. I’m going to head back today.”
“
You’ve made up your mind
then?”
I exhaled loudly. “No and
yes. I can’t decide between them Amy so I know what I have to do. I
have to let them both go.”
“
Oh Layla, hurry home
because I need to hug you right now. We’ll be right here when you
get back ok?”
“
Ok. I’ll be there soon.
I love you guys.” They answered simultaneously with a chorus of “we
love you too” and hung up.
Pressing a kiss to my
forehead my dad smiled. “You’re doing the right thing baby. It’s
going to hurt but you’re doing the kindest thing for all of
you.”
Gazing up at him I
wondered if he was right. “Am I? It sure doesn’t feel that way. I
feel like the most awful person in the world right now breaking two
hearts and my own. Doesn’t feel too right from where I’m sitting. I
feel like someone ran a truck over my heart.”
“
You
are not awful. You’re doing what’s right. You should have faith in
yourself Layla. I knew your head would figure this all out and that
you’d make the right choice in the end.” Staring at him, I heard my
mother’s words replay in my ears.
Your heart will always have the right
answer
. But my heart didn’t have an answer
at all which meant I had no option but to do what my head told me
was right. Getting to my feet I shuffled upstairs to pack my
overnight bag; ready to head back to campus.
Knocking lightly on my
door my mom peered through the gap. “Is it okay to come
in?”
I nodded and continued to
gather my things from my dresser as she sat on my neatly made
bed.
“
I heard you and your
father. I just need to say something before you go.”
Sighing, I turned around
to face her and shook my head. “There’s nothing to say Mom. I know
what I have to do. It’s for the best.”
“
The best for
whom?”
“
For everyone, Ollie and
Jared deserve to move on and they can’t do that while they’re
hanging on hoping I’ll pick them over the other.”
“
And what about you?
What’s right for you?”
I growled in frustration.
“I don’t know Mom! I don’t know what I want or who I want which
means I lose both!”
Standing up she cupped my
face in her hands and smiled. “You do know baby. You’re just scared
and that’s okay. But don’t throw away your chance for happiness
because you’re afraid to take the leap or because you know someone
ends up hurt. No matter what you choose, someone was always going
to end up heartbroken. But if there’s a chance two hearts can be
blissfully happy together in love, then that’s worth the broken
heart of one. They will mend. They will find love again and be
happy. But if you do this, let them both walk away, the only heart
that will break and stay broken is yours baby.”
I stared at her as her
words hit me hard. Rubbing her thumb over my cheek, she leaned in
and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Think about it. You’re heart
knows Layla. Listen to it. Really listen. It will tell you what to
do.”
Winking at me she smiled
and left me alone with my thoughts.
Holding my palm firmly to
my chest I took a deep breath as tears ran over my cheeks slowly.
“Please, tell me what I’m supposed to do because this is killing
me. Just tell me, please.” As if hearing my plea it gave an
almighty thud making me jump slightly and as I sat with my hand
still clutched over my heart, I waited; for a sign, for a feeling,
anything to give me some kind of clue as to what I needed to do.
But it never came. Cursing myself for ever believing that my heart
would speak to me somehow, I grabbed my overnight bag and headed
downstairs to say goodbye to my parents.
Not wanting to drag it
out, my father took the box of memories Jared had sent me and my
bag out to the car and hurled them into the passenger seat as my
mother held me in a tight embrace.
“
Goodbye baby. I love
you.”
It felt as though we were
saying goodbye forever and I got the feeling she maybe thought it
could be. Shaking my head, I kissed her cheek.
“
I’ll be home on Saturday
okay?”
She nodded holding my
hand as I turned to my father for a heart stopping hug. Lifting me
from the ground he clutched me to his chest.
“
Bye baby girl. Safe
drive back okay?”
Smiling I gave him a
salute and slid into the driver’s seat.
The drive back had taken
no time at all and as I pulled into the parking lot of the dorm
building, I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed my girls and lots
and lots of junk food. Parking, I glanced over at the building and
saw Amy bounding over with a grin on her face.
“
Layla, I’m so glad
you’re back! Hurry up, there’s something inside for you that you
have to see. I know you’re going to want to see this.”
My heart skipped and my
pulse raced as
the thought crossed my mind
that one of them could be waiting for me in the room. Leaping to my
feet, I sprinted as fast as my legs could carry me; leaving Amy
trailing behind through the halls as I burst into the dorm room,
panting and breathless.
No one was there and
disappointment plagued me. Seeing my reaction from her seat on the
bed, Mel smiled.
“Which one were you hoping it would be?”
I stared at her stunned.
“What?”
Walking over she grabbed
my hands.
“Which one did you hope it would be? Jared
or Ollie?”
I shook my head at her
“Did you do that to try and force my decision?”
Clearly becoming a little
irritated she repeated her question. “Which one Layla?”
I gazed at her speechless.
Amy stood in the doorway, breathless as I turned around and gave
her a confused look.
“You both set me up. I
can’t believe this. How could you do that? It’s sneaky, underhanded
and...”
“Which one Layla?!”
They both simultaneously
shouted it at me and all of a sudden my heart decided to scream
back at them and me. My mouth falling open, I gawked at them and
clutched my hand to my chest. Hammering like drum it pounded in my
ears, my whole body rocked with every thunderous thump. I could
hardly speak. My voice barely a whisper, I swallowed hard before
pulling them to me and holding them tightly in my arms.
“I know what I have to do. I love you guys
and I’m so glad you’re here.”
Leaving them gawking at me
I hurried to the closet and hauled out my suitcase, slinging it
onto the bed.
“What are you doing?”
Standing beside me, they watched as I frantically pulled clothes,
shoes and everything I could lay my hands on out of my closet and
into my case.
“I’m packing. Are you two
going to stand there or help me?” Giving each other a grin they
headed in different directions and grabbed my things. Amy had
everything from the bathroom and Mel was stuffing my underwear,
laptop and beauty products into the crammed full case. Zipping it
up, panting and running on adrenaline I turned to face
them.
Flinging their arms around
me they laughed.
“So, where to?”
Grinning, I bit my lip.
“The airport. I have a flight to catch.” They gave me a knowing
look and as an understanding passed between us, I knew they had
already figured out where my heart was a long time ago.
“Well we’d better hurry up then.”
Mel called a cab and as we
waited I could hardly stand still. I was full of nerves and I
jittered, fumbled and paced up and down as I thought about what I
was doing. Pulling my cell from my pocket I dialed my
mom.
“Baby girl, everything
okay?”
Stopping a moment I
breathed deeply. “I’ve made a decision Mom and I’m going to the
airport right now. I love you both and I promise I’ll call as soon
as I get there. I have to do this. Please understand.”
“Oh baby. We love you too.
Good luck princess. Give him a big hug for me sweetheart and
Layla…I knew your heart wouldn’t let you down. It’s too big and too
wonderful not to give you everything you have ever
wanted.”
Tears in my eyes, I
spotted the cab heading down the street and said my goodbyes before
shoving the phone into my pocket. Heaving my case in the trunk Amy
and Mel climbed in and I gave them a puzzled look.
“You really think we’re
going to miss seeing you off? You’re kidding right? Get
in!”
The entire ride to LAX, we
sat in the back of the cab holding each other’s hands tightly. My
feet were unable to keep still and butterflies swarmed in my
stomach. I felt scared, nauseous, excited and apprehensive all at
once. Placing her hand on my knee stilling my mindless jerking, Mel
smiled reassuringly.
“It’ll be alright. I promise.”
Nodding, I stared out of
the window, watching the world pass by as we sped to the
airport.
The second we pulled up,
Amy insisted on paying the driver as Mel ran around to get my case.
Pulling it through the entrance I headed for the desk to buy a
ticket but Mel halted me and ran over, leaving me and Amy wondering
what she was doing. Returning a few minutes later with an envelope,
she grinned at me.
“You’re traveling first
class and your plane leaves in an hour, so we have to run if you’re
going to make it.”
Pulling her into a tight
embrace, I kissed her cheek. Pushing me away she smiled. “Come on,
no time for this. Let’s go!” Sprinting through the terminal, I
could hardly breathe as I tried to haul my ass to the gate as fast
as I could. Catching my arm, Amy pointed to the gate I needed and
stopped.
“This is where we say goodbye.”
I gazed at them both as tears streamed down
my face. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you guys. It’s so
final.”
Smiling, Mel hugged me
tightly. “Then try this. See ya soon Layla. I’ll miss
you.”
Smiling back at her, I
nodded. “See you soon Mel. Amy.”
Tears running over her
flushed cheeks, she nodded as she wrapped her arms around me.
“Thank you so much for coming into my life Layla. I love you, don’t
ever forget that. We’re right here, call, text, email; I don’t
care, just don’t ever forget we’re here okay?”