Breaking Kate: The Acceptance Series (40 page)

“NO, Kate, absolutely not. We’re going to deal with this together. You’re not going to go off and make a bunch of decisions alone.”

“I have to, Daniel, and if you love me you won’t stop me. Please let me
be, just for tonight. Tomorrow, all of you come to the house for breakfast and we’ll talk this out, but tonight I need to just be alone. This is too much for me to handle; I need to drive and clear my head. Please promise me you won’t tell Michael you read the letter and promise me you two won’t fight. My heart can’t take any more sadness right now, and the two of you being upset with each other is making me really, really sad. No matter what happens, I have to take Michael to the cemetery tomorrow. After that, you and I will spend the afternoon together, okay?”

“I don’t like it, Kate. I don’t like
any
of this, but if you truly need to leave, I’m not going to get in your way.  Promise me you’ll drive safe and you won’t make any big decisions without me.” I nod my head, but I don’t promise because I know that would be a lie.

“I’ll be there by nine and I’ll make sure Mike is, too.” I throw the letter back in my purse and dig through for my keys. This is really not the way I envisioned tonight ending.

“Let me walk you out to the car. I’ll have Jess pack your stuff and bring it in the morning, unless there’s something you need tonight?” I lean against him and just breathe him in for a minute.

“I don’t need anything tonight, and you don’t have to walk me out. The car is just right out there, I’ll be fine.”

“I
am
walking you out. Your car isn’t out front; we moved all our cars out to the street earlier to make it easier for the valets to move cars around tonight.”

“Oh, okay. Well then let’s go.”

It’s a beautiful night. The sky is full of stars, and under other circumstances, this would be very romantic. Suddenly, I remember that he has a surprise for me and I feel even worse for ruining it.

“Daniel, I forgot about your surprise. I’m sorry to ruin it, but can it wait or do you still want to show me?” I pause next to my car and watch him run his hands through his hair; he’s worried and it’s my fault for leaving, but I have to go.

“No, sweetheart, it can wait until the time is right. I thought tonight was going to be special so I wanted to share something with you, but there will be other chances I hope.” I wrap my arms around his neck which is much easier to do in these heels.

“No hoping. There
will
be other chances; you and I are just at the beginning of our story unless you are ready to give up on us. I will understand if that’s what you want…”

His grip tightens around my waist and his mouth claims mine, our tongues meeting each other in a passionate tango. I’m lost in a sea of emotions, moaning and whimpering as he pushes me up against my car, his hands trailing down my backside and tightening on my ass. I don’t ever want this to stop. I need him like I need the air I breathe to live; my life won’t make sense without him. We finally break apart and his sad, brown eyes meet mine.

“Don’t ever say that, Kate. I will
never
let you go willingly. This situation is going to be very difficult and we’re going to have to handle it just right so everything doesn’t fall apart. You’re
mine
, Kate. Your love has seared my soul for eternity; there is nothing that can change that.”

I rest my forehead against his. “I love you, Daniel”

“I love you, too, Kate.” Daniel helps me adjust my dress to get in the car.

“I don’t foresee getting any sleep tonight, so if you feel like it, please call me. Drive safe and text me when you get there. I’ll see you at nine sharp.” He closes my door without another word and watches me drive off.

I can’t stand the silence right now, so I throw my iPod on shuffle mode and drive. It’s eleven o’clock when I hit Ventura so I’ll be home about twelve thirty. It starts to sprinkle, and maybe it’s something to do with the rain, but I finally let out all the tears I’ve been holding back since I left the house. I feel awful for having left without saying goodbye but I’m sure Daniel will make the proper excuses for me. My text messages have been dinging consistently for the past half hour or so which means Jess knows I left and she’s probably trying to convince Connor to follow me home. I really love her, but I hope they stay put; I just can’t deal with too much more tonight.
Hold My Heart
by Tenth Avenue North comes on and I cry even harder. I’m not a big believer in God, but if I was this song would speak my entire world for me right now.

It feels good to just cry it all out and drive. Driving calms me down and helps me think, and tonight I need to think. I don’t want to lose Daniel but I’m not sure I can fix this. If it were anyone
but
Michael I know we could work through it. The fact that
my
Michael is
his
Mike complicates things. There’s no way Michael will step back and let me be with Daniel. Not without a fight, and
certainly
not after us only dating for two weeks. Daniel isn’t going to let me go and I don’t want him to—my heart belongs to him. But they’re brothers now, and they work together. Daniel would walk over hot coals for Mike, and I’m sure the feeling is mutual. No matter what, the outcome won’t be good. Maybe I should walk away now—from both of them—and allow them heal and move on. I’m always going to be in their lives, especially after meeting the Houstons. If I bow out gracefully, can they save their relationship? I know
I
would be absolutely miserable. I need more time to think; I can’t make any rash decisions right now.

By the time I pull into the garage, I’m all cried out and exhausted. I look disastrous as I check my reflection in the mirror. Pausing for a minute, I check my text messages and reply.

Jess: What were you thinking leaving? I’m so mad at you!

Jess: Sorry, I love you, not mad but so very worried

Jess: I know you’re driving and you won’t check your phone. Daniel told everyone you left to help Lauren, they all understand.

Your Boyfriend: I love you. I’m not giving up without a fight. I made an excuse for you, don’t worry.

Jess: I’m packed and we’re leaving we should be home by 2 I’m sorry but I can’t stay here when I know you’re hurting.

Connor: I tried to get her to stay honest. I’m taking Daniel and Michael to my house don’t worry they aren’t even talking
it’s okay I will look after them both for you until the morning.

April: Thank you for my song, I’m sorry you had to go. I know this isn’t my place but I get the feeling with everyone leaving something is going on with you. I hope you’re okay and if you need a sympathetic ear I’m here for you.
Xoxo

Time to text them all back and my dad, too.

Dad: I met up with Michael tonight, long story I will catch you up tomorrow evening. Can you please send your town car and driver to my condo at 10am? I am taking Michael to see Lila Hope and I don’t think either of us will be in a condition to drive. I haven’t told him yet so if he calls Claire tonight please don’t say anything. And we also need to talk about the Houstons. I spent the weekend with them.

Your Boyfriend: I love you, we have to have faith we can work this out this is not an easy situation but my heart is always with you. I’ll always be your gumdrop.

Connor: Thanks for being a good brother this sucks ass.

Jess:
It’s okay I love you and knew you would come home see you later. I’m going to the gym so don’t worry if I’m not here.

April: You’re too smart for your own
good,everything is going to be okay I just didn’t want to upset your night. You looked stunning and I’m so happy for your both. We’ll fill you in tomorro
w


Already responses are coming back in; that was fast, especially since it’s so late.

Dad: The driver will be there, I’m sorry you have to go through this and yes whenever you are available we can talk about the Houstons for what it’s worth I’m truly sorry about that as well. More than you could ever know.

Connor: Yes it does suck ass and since you’re all my friends I can’t even make jokes about this situation. You should feel blessed you know if this was any other couple I would laugh my ass off at this whole thing instead it just makes me sad. Maybe I should start rethinking what I find funny. Yeah right my sarcastic demented sense of humor will never change and neither will my love for you. I’m sorry Kate but we’ll fix this just don’t do anything rash ok?

One reply to Connor and then I’m going inside.

Connor: Don’t change
I love you sarcasm and all. Going to the gym for a few hours to avoid being rash. I don’t want to hurt them.

As I walk through the door into the house, I hear someone knocking on the front door.
Who the hell can it be this late at night?
It better not be some crazy-ass reporter trying to get a statement; we’re still on media blackout until Monday. I keep my phone in my hand in case I need to call 911 and look out the peephole to see a very pretty but sick looking girl at my door.

I open the door cautiously, in case she’s a ploy and someone jumps out of the bushes. Once I have the door open all the way, I can see she’s pregnant—about as big as I was when I lost Lila.

“Can I help you?”  Relief washes over her face. She has big brown eyes and shoulder length blonde hair and is just a little bit taller than I am.

“Hi, I hope so. I’m so sorry to bother you, really I am. I’m even sorrier I followed you all the way from Connor’s house, but I saw you with Daniel and you looked friendly and I really need help.”
Who is this girl and why did she follow me?
She is very sweet and looks really uncomfortable. I guess since she’s pregnant she probably isn’t a danger, so I go off my first instinct and invite her in.

“Please come in and have a seat; let’s talk so I can see if I can help you. Can I get you a glass of water?” Happiness spreads across her face; she has a beautiful pregnant glow, although she still looks sick.

“A glass of water would be great, thank you.” She walks over to the couch and lowers herself onto the cushion. I hand her the water and offer her my hand.

“I’m Kate, and you are?” The girl takes a deep breath and looks up at me.

“I’m Vanessa.”

With those two words my world has officially crashed in on itself. I catch myself from falling and take a seat across from her on the opposite side of the couch.

“I can tell from the look on your face that my reputation precedes me.” 

She’s so sweet looking; I can’t believe this is the vixen that took the boys down. How do I sit here and have this conversation with her when I know it’s going to lead me to absolute heartbreak?

“Well, reputation or not, I’ve never judged anyone based on their reputation. Why don’t you go ahead and talk and let’s figure out how I can help? I’m sure you’re here for something important, especially since you followed me such a long way.”

I don’t know if that helped or made things worse because now she’s crying. I remember all too well those unfortunate hormone flashes that come with pregnancy. I get her a box of tissues and sit next to her instead of across the couch. I don’t say
anything, I just give her the time she needs to compose herself.

“I’m so sorry, Kate. I didn’t mean to come here and cry all over you. No offense, but it looks like you’ve done enough crying all on your own tonight. I’m sure you’ve had a very rough day and I’m just adding to it. I’m not sure what your relation is to Daniel and Mike, but I guess that would be a good place to start.” I notice her eyes flick to my ring when she asks about my relation with the boys.

“That is a complicated question to ask tonight. I guess the simplest way to say it is that I’m Daniel’s girlfriend, but we are promised to each other and eventually want to get married… at least we did before tonight. I’m Mike’s ex-girlfriend who was his almost fiancée once upon a time. Until tonight, none of us ever pieced together that Mike was my ex Michael. This was our first time meeting so things are now complicated. From the looks of you, I’m guessing you’re about six months pregnant? I have a feeling this situation is about to get even more complicated, am I right?” Vanessa nods her head.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to cause any trouble. The past couple of years, my head hasn’t been exactly in the right place. I can’t justify anything that happened because what I did was unforgiveable,
but I’m really not the deceitful bitch they think I am. Growing up, my mom put her men before me. I used to live with her and my step-father in Vegas. They’re both severe drug addicts and alcoholics who disowned me before I came to California with my ex-boyfriend. He went to UCLA, and we drifted apart, deciding we were better friends than lovers.

“Chad took me to a party at Connor’s one night to meet his new girlfriend and make some new friends. After Chad broke up with me, I decided to try a new approach with men. You can see how well that worked out. I was tired of having nothing and scared because Chad was moving on. I started a few classes at the junior college. Chad always encouraged me and told me I could do anything I put my mind to, but my inner demons got the best of me and I gave up and started waitressing. Chad loves me as a friend, but he’s getting married. He told me I can keep our apartment, but I can’t afford it.