Breathe Again (16 page)

“Nick, this is an area that is just unknown. We will have to wait until baby is born. I can tell you there is no physical disability at this time. None that I can see.”

“But that can change?” He sat forward.

“It has not been unknown to have a child be born and then have something go wrong as the child grows. I’ve learned never to make promises. You're both in the medical field and know this firsthand.”

When they left the doctor’s office, Skylar felt guilt weigh heavy on her mind.

“If I hadn't lied, if I had told the truth and stayed out of that room then none of this would have happened.”

“Is that what you think? This is your fault.” Nick held her hand.

“Of course it is. I’ve been selfish. How many times have I put her life in danger? I don't have any clue about how to be a mother. It's not as though I had a great role model.”

“We’ve both had screw-ups for role models, but that means nothing. You will be a great mother. You will be.”

“Really?” Skylar was sure the world had flipped over because there was no way Nick would be the one who was Mr. Positivity. “All those times I had needed my mum after dad died and she wasn't there. I hadn't done anything wrong and I needed her so much. Why couldn't she see that, Nick?”

He held her. She was tired. Tired of doing this alone.

“It's almost time to go to work. Let's meet up for lunch later on. Does that sound good to you?”

Hormones were making her feel all over the place. She nodded. Lunch would be good. An escape from the doubts and decisions.

*****

Nick felt her presence in the room before he saw Skylar. His body was attuned to hers, always had been, more so now that they were sharing a bed. After they moved into the new house, it had been pointless having separate bedrooms when they ended up in the same bed each night. He had tried to keep her in the less busy areas in the emergency department, but getting Skylar to do anything she didn't want to do was a mission in itself.

“We've got a MVA coming in. ETA three minutes. Two victims—the driver is worse off with a GCS of seven. The second victim is a child and is conscious. We'll transfer her over to the assessment area.”

Nick started giving orders to the team in the resus room, making sure everyone was prepared for the patient who was about to come through their doors in the next three minutes.

“Do you need a hand?”

Nick wanted to say no, but he could see the look of please-say-yes on Skylar’s face, and these days he was finding it harder to say no to her.

“I need a scribe.”

She nodded, and went to the white-board, where she would document all the procedures and medications the patient received, so they had clear documentation.

The doors opened. The paramedics wheeled in their stretcher with a female child.

Nick froze, everyone around him continued to work. The medics transferred the child from the gurney to the emergency stretcher.

The child was covered in blood. The gauze taped to her forehead was already soaking through with fresh blood. Her honey blonde hair was turning rusty, as blood leaked through the dressing and onto her face.

“Female Caucasian looks about five years old was strapped in the car seat behind the driver, who was unrestrained. This was a car versus pole. Driver hit the windscreen and sustained a head injury. Child is not responding. We’ve had her on high-flow oxygen and placed a neck brace. Respirations are shallow, heart rate is thread. Father is on his way in. Mother was intoxicated.”

After the medics left, Nick stood there still unable to move. He wasn’t sure why he chose this moment to think about how fate couldn’t be changed.

“Nick?”

When the resident called his name, he turned in surprise, only just registering where he was.

Skylar stepped forward. “Check her responsiveness. Commence fluids. Let’s get a set of baseline obs.”

Skylar slipped on a pair of gloves and came forward. She took over management of the child’s airway. “I need the pediatric team down here stat. Call PICU and get a bed ready. Get an anesthetist, we need this child intubated.”

She examined the cardiac rhythm strip and then turned to Nick. “You okay?”

The resident from across the room screamed Nick’s name. He shook free from the nightmare.

The resident pulled the curtain between the two rooms. “I have the mother in the next room. She’s at risk of coding. I need you here stat.”

Nick turned to Skye. “Can you manage?”

Skye nodded. “Luke’s on his way with the pediatric team. There’s nothing I can do for her here. I’m taking her up to PICU.”

Nick went into the next room and pulled on a new pair of gloves. The child’s mother was unconscious, with a dozen people milling around her.

 “What's her blood pressure?” he asked the nurse.

“Ninety over sixty,” she replied.

“Okay, let's push a liter of saline. Get the anesthetist down here, I want her tubed and hooked up to a ventilator. I don't want to take any chances with that possible cervical injury. And arrange for a CT scan as soon as they can get her in there. Keep that collar on. Let's put a gastric tube and a catheter and monitor input and output. I want someone monitoring GCS, and I need a neurosurgeon down here. I don't like the look of those dark shadows around her eyes.” The discoloration around her eyes was a sign she may have fractured her skull base. Because she chose to drink and drive.

“Raccoon eyes?” The resident asked as he squeezed the resus bag once more.

“She might have a skull fracture.” Nick pushed aside the patient’s hair and looked at the injuries on her head.

It took an hour to arrange her transfer and another before he saw Skylar.

The child didn’t make it.

Her shoulders were slumped as she sipped her coffee.

*****

“It’s not fair, is it? Drunk driver makes it. Innocent child dies.” She gripped the cup so hard, her fingers ached.

“I could arrange for you to go home,” Nick said.

 “I remember that look on your face. You go from point A to point G all in one go. Don't pass Go, no get-out-of-jail-free card.”

“I don't understand,” he sighed.

“I bet growing up, you had to have everything planned out so that you could fit everything into your life. Make sure you had time to take care of your mum, go to school, have a job.”

“Why are you being like this?” The husky note in his voice was unmistakable.

“You're looking at this, thinking of the big picture and looking at all the variables you have to consider to make sure you make this work.” Her gaze never left his.

“Well I was in PICU when we lost that little girl, while you were here saving that woman’s life.”

Nick reached out for her hand, and she pulled it away. “I know you’re angry, but we were both doing our jobs.”

“She was a baby. That woman should have known better.” She was beyond angry.

“Alcoholism is a disease.”

She gritted her teeth. It would have been better not to have spoken, but she saw that little girl, with her entire life ahead of her snatched from this world.

“
You’d
say that. You would because of your mother. But that little girl deserved better than what she got. She didn’t deserve that, and she didn’t deserve to die like that.”

“You’re really upset right now. It’s been an emotional day for you.” He stood. “I’m going to take you home.”

Skylar sighed. “No.” She panicked. “I don’t want to go home.”

“You need to rest. I’ll take you home.” Nick raked his fingers through his hair. “I'm sorry about the girl.” His smile was sad.

“I’m sorry too. It seems there are other people in this world much sadder than you and me.”

His brow creased and then he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “Maybe not as many as you think.”

Nick’s words gave Skylar hope. She could breathe without the heaviness sitting in her chest. With her mind made up, she decided there was only one thing left to do. She needed to go home and show him how she felt too. Make him realize hope was alive in her heart.

An hour later, she looked around the room. At thirty-two weeks pregnant, she had trouble getting around, but she managed to light enough candles to turn their bedroom into a sexy–scented, softly lit room with definite intent to please.

She opened a bottle of ginger ale and took two glasses out of the cupboard. Then after changing into something more comfortable, she waited for him.

*****

He had three things on his mind.

One: A nice hot shower. Or a nice cold shower, depending on whether Skylar was up or not. Damn, that woman left him hard on so many nights, his body was getting used to the cold showers.

Two: A good cup of black coffee. Just the way he liked it.

Three: A glimpse of her sleeping. Just one glimpse of her. With that little snoring noise she made now that she was pregnant.

As the fire brigade honked and tooted behind him, he angled his car to the side, waited for the red truck to pass him and then he continued on his way. When emergency vehicles with flashing lights and sirens passed him, his interest piqued. He was a doctor who carried his emergency bag in his car at all times, so he was a useful person to have around.

So like any good citizen, he followed the vehicles on the familiar route. The smell of smoke and burning caught his attention before the curl of the smoke in the distance.

Skylar.

Their last conversation played in his mind. She was upset. She left. He’d been so preoccupied, he didn't think he should check on her. She was always so…Skylar.

Skylar who could be lying in an emotional state in a burning house.

With his foot pressed lightly on the accelerator, he resisted the urge to push harder. Instead he clamped his jaw and followed the stream of emergency vehicles.

Fire. Ambulance. Police. Traffic.

He stopped the car, opened the door and lurched forward until the seatbelt pulled him back. After two attempts at unclipping his seatbelt, he let out a curse then yanked the belt once more. This time success. He shot out of the car.

“Sir, you can't go in there.” One of the policemen halted his progress.

Nick’s gaze searched the crowd milling around before he turned to the house. “My wife?”

The policeman stepped back, but he refused to let Nick pass. “I'm sorry, sir. You can't. It's dangerous.”

“You don't understand. My wife, she’s pregnant.”

“Stand back, sir. Leave this to the professionals. The firemen are already in there. If your wife is inside, they’ll find her.”

Thoughts of his mother hiding under that table— And now maybe Skylar too?

He rubbed at the tired lines on his face. Did he fail so badly?

No, she wouldn't. She wasn't weak. She wouldn't do that.

He pushed forward. He had to get to Skylar. What if he never saw her again? What if he never got to tell her—Tell her what?
What if?

“Sir, go back.” The policeman refused to let him move an inch forward.

He thought about the time she came after him when they were on the heli pad. She’d jumped in the helicopter when they were taking off.

He had to get into the house. He left the policeman and walked toward the back of the house. Another group of men stood there. They didn't look too happy.

“What's going on?” he asked, hoping his hospital ID will get him closer to the scene.

“Sir, Doctor—” the man read his title and continued, “I still can’t let you any closer. We haven’t secured the scene.”

“My wife is in there. Someone needs to go in there and get her out.”

“As soon as it’s safe, we’ll go in.”

Nick’s fingers went through his hair. “She’s thirty-two weeks pregnant. If you don't go in, I will.”