Breathe Again (19 page)

She slowly tried getting herself off the bench, which took some effort. Fiddling around in her big black bag, she eventually found her cell phone and called for an ambulance.

“Bike versus tree.” She waited for the person on the other end to take down details and then when the authorities knew the location, she walked slowly over to the man. He looked angled in an odd position. She tried not to move him.

It was difficult to bend down and get to his level, but she slowly managed to squat until she was close enough to check for a pulse and whether he was breathing. When she was sure he was breathing, she tried to talk to him, and that was when she felt the tightening in her tummy.

She breathed through the pain and waited for it to settle. “Mister, are you okay?” she asked between breaths.

The man winced, but she could tell he was okay. He was winded. There was no obvious bleeding, and he was beginning to move slowly.

Her back started to ache, and she felt a heaviness between her legs. And it felt hot. Very, very hot. Different from normal. It wasn’t usual or anything like she was expecting and she couldn’t keep the fear at bay. Not sure whether she should focus on what was happening to her or the man, she paused and took a look at the man.

He was looking a better color. He was breathing, but she was finding it harder to focus on him. Which was not the best of sign for her.

The place was deserted. No sign of the ambulance.

Then a gush of hot liquid poured from between her legs, and she gasped. Darn it. Seriously? Eyes closed, she squeezed her hands into tight fists. Please don’t let it be red. Red is bad. Looking down she sees she’s created a distinctive wet puddle on the asphalt.

This is the last thing she needed after everything that  had happened. Her baby did not need to be born in the middle of the street with no medical facilities. Her chest tightened—why couldn’t she breath? Why was it so hard to focus? Pain shot through her side and down her back. Damn. It was starting. She was having her baby.

 The ambulance would have more than one patient to deal with. The flashing lights of the ambulance was what she saw next, and by then the man was sitting up holding her hand, making sure she was breathing through her pains.

The medics ran toward them with an oxygen cylinder and backboard, and they stopped midway. “We were told unconscious patient post-accident. Not pregnant woman.”

Skylar grunted. “Right on both counts. I called it in and then ended up a patient. I'm fine. Check him out. He was unconscious. He could have a concussion. Make sure you check his GCS.”

“You a doctor?” the medic asked.

“Nurse,” she said between her teeth as a contraction came on. The pains were not meant to come on this quickly. Was this payback? Hadn’t she been through enough without having to give birth in public?

The first paramedic knelt beside her. “I'm Kim. I need to check your blood pressure.”

She nodded. “It's probably sky-high with this pain.”

“Well, I still need to check. Don't worry; Matt will check the biker out.”

Skye held onto her side as the pain subsided. “I've nursed so many patients, but who knew it's this bad?”

“I wish I could say I know what you're going through, but I don't have any kids. They say you forget once the baby is in your arms.”

“That had better be right. I'm Skylar. I have a new appreciation for those mothers. My doctor thought my pressure was a little high the last time, so she told me to take it easy.”

She waited for Kim to take her blood pressure.

“That's pretty high. Are you on treatment?” Kim asked.

“No, it always came down before it got that bad. How high is it?” Skylar clenched her teeth, trying to even out her breathing.

Kim wrapped up the cuff. “One-ninety over one-twenty.”

Skye wriggled to get comfortable. “Yep, that's high. I'm booked in at Hawkes Bay Hospital. How about we go straight there?”

Kim checked to make sure her partner had everything under control, and then she helped Skye into the ambulance. In less than five minutes, they made their way to the hospital. In that time, Skye had two more contractions.

After thirty minutes of staring at the wall, her blood pressure was still not coming down, and with everyone coming in and out of her room to wish her good luck before the delivery, Skylar didn't have time to be anything but scared.

Judie placed a glass half filled with ice chips next to her bed, and she wiped away the beads of sweat from her forehead. “You want me to make that call?”

Skylar avoided her gaze as she took the plastic cup with the ice chips, spooned a few into her mouth and crunched. It was all she was allowed to eat or drink. She was in active labor, but the doctors were scared she might need to go to surgery, and they needed her to be starved.

“I have his number.” Judie prompted.

“You think he’s going to jump on the first flight from the Middle-of–Nowhere- Australia and come here? That's thinking a lot of him.” Skylar shook her head.

Judie took the cup from her and placed it on the table next to her. “That's your hurt talking.”

Damn straight it was her hurt talking. She was scared and needed him. She gave him an out, but he didn’t have to take her up on it and go all the way across the world. Her life was about to be ripped apart, and she needed him. Where was he?

“I’m fine.”
Liar
.

“Have you always been this stubborn?” Judie asked.

“Where's that doctor of mine? Surely it's been long enough and there are some answers. I feel a little spacey. They didn't give me any drugs, did they? I told them no drugs.”

Judie’s gaze held concern. “I'm going to take your blood pressure.”

She shook her head and looked around for the call bell. “It's fine they have nurses for that.”

“I am a nurse.” Judie took the BP cuff and started to wrap it around her arm.

Skylar pushed Judie’s hand away. “Don't do that. Let someone else do that. It's their job.”

“Skye, you're getting agitated. I am going to do your blood pressure and call your doctor. I am getting a bit concerned.” Judie squeezed her hand.

An overwhelming sense of terror invaded her, and she turned to the older woman. “Judie, I don't feel well. What's happening to me?”

Judie reached across, pulled the bell and pressed it. “Honey, I think it's the pre-eclampsia. I think you're about to have a seizure.”

She could feel her head shake. “No. No. Don't. Nick. Where's Nick? The baby. Oh hell— we have to get the baby. Tell Nick. I didn't mean to send him away. Tell him I’m sorry. Please tell him so he doesn't leave me. Tell him.”

*****

“When?” he asked Judie. His knuckles whitened as he fisted them at his sides. This couldn’t be happening. He turned looking for something to punch. Finding nothing, he turned his attention back to Judie.

His fingers shook as he reached to comb them through his messy hair. His head pounded while his heart raced. His throat ached.

Judie reached out to touch his shoulder. “Now.”

Helplessness enveloped him. He pushed Judie aside, making his way to Skye.

Dammit. He was late. He should have come earlier. If only he was here a little earlier. Had taken an earlier flight.

He rushed into surgery as the doctors were making their way in. The nurses showed him to the change room, where he pulled on a pair of scrubs. Usually they didn't allow dads into the surgery when the mother was put under general anesthetic, but he asked to wait in the small area outside. He wanted to—no needed to—be there. It was a feeling that was so strong, it possessed him.

He sat outside the surgery with his head in his hands, thinking of all the things he would do better if Skylar came through this.

Her eyes smiled up at him. Her laugh teased him. Her lips taunted him. He heard the monitors. Beeps. He curled his hands into tight fists.

The not knowing killed him. He had failed so many times in his life. The many times he had tried to help his mother. Tried and failed. Tried and failed. The final time.

With a thought to tough love, he’d walked out. Told her that was it. She had to clean up her act. He was done.

He came home to her dead on the floor. Cold and dead. Nothing he could do.

“Doctor Delaney, your girl.” The nurse brought out a pink bundle. Nick looked up. His chest still heavy with remembered grief.

“How is she?” he asked.

“Your baby is fine.” The nurse gave him a compassionate smile.

“My wife. How is my wife?” he demanded.

The nurse hesitated. His heart paused. He knew the taste of bad news.

“The doctors are still working on her. There is a lot of bleeding. I will keep you updated. But your baby girl is fine.”

Her baby.
He’d always said it was her baby. His eyes closed and he felt his heart tear to shreds. Skye, his life, his love. That’s all he wanted. His wife. He’d do anything. Even accept her baby as his, if she came out of this alive. Even try to be a father.

He didn’t look at the child. He held the bundle like he would any other child. He didn’t bother to unwrap the bundle. He wasn’t the excited dad hoping to see his eyes or his nose. He didn’t even care. He wanted Skye. Yes, if Skye survived, he’d accept
her baby.

Nick looked at the nurse and finally at the little bundle in his arms. How could this happen again? He was beginning to get everything in order, and suddenly it was all falling apart again.

He couldn't finally accept he loved her, and they were going to be a family, only to lose her. Not again. Not like this. Not when his heart started beating for the first time. Not when he could finally breathe again.

Another nurse came out and took the baby from him. He gave up the baby willingly. He still hadn’t unwrapped the bundle and looked. Still hadn’t wanted to. Hadn’t needed to. Couldn’t be bothered to. Skye was his only concern.

The nurse fussed over the baby and smiled up at him. “I need to take her to the special care baby unit for observations.”

He got to his feet. His heart refused to stop its breakneck speed. He stood in one spot and looked at the door. Behind that door held his future. He finally understood it. Nothing else mattered.

The hours before she woke were too long. He smelled like hospital. He always smelled like hospital—it came with the job description—but this time was different. This time, it was infused into his bloodstream in such a way that it weakened him. Because this time it made him a victim. This time it threw him curveballs and made his angst about the outcome too heavy to bear.

All he yearned for was to see those emeralds of her eyes again. He didn’t care if they weren't as polished or they didn’t sparkle or shine as they normally did. He just wanted to see them again. He brushed Skylar’s hair aside and kissed her forehead.

Her long lashes slowly fluttered open, and she narrowed her gaze . “Hey, you're here.”

His heart lurched.
This
was all he’d been waiting for. “Where else would I be?” he asked.

She looked a little dazed. Confused. “I’m not sure what’s happened?” She lifted her head and looked around. Then her hand went to her abdomen, and she shook her head. Fear stood in her eyes.

“No, this can’t have happened. Nick, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

He wasn’t sure what she thought, but he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Calm down, babe. It’s okay. You’re in the hospital.”

“I wasn’t. I was out walking and there was a bang. A man was hurt and I went to help him.” She lifted herself.

He tried to settle her down. She was confused. There was no man. She was delusional. Patients often had a reaction to the sedation. “I’m here. Your baby is okay. She is being taken care of.”

Skye turned to him. “My baby is okay? She’s well…and normal?”

Nick swallowed. He didn’t know. He hadn’t asked. He didn’t see. He hadn’t want to know.

“I—” He brushed her hair aside. “Rest now. The nurse will bring her in later.”

“I didn’t give birth in the street?” she asked.

Damn. How was it possible to be so self-absorbed that he didn’t even think about what she was going through? He hadn’t asked about what had happened before she came in. He hadn’t cared about the baby, when he knew she would. He didn’t deserve this woman.