Breathless Promises (Alluring Promises Series Book 3) (26 page)

After hearing Aub say goodnight to Vanessa, and hearing two doors close, I snuck out to the living room. I wanted to double check Aub was in her room. And alone. I also wanted to make sure my makeshift alarm was set in place. It was really the table near the door that held our keys. The bowl makes a little noise when you move it, so I was sure that I’d wake if I heard it.

I was right. Hours later I awoke to hear that small clank sound followed by Aub whisper-yelling a swear word. I jolted up managing to not wake Tina, slide on my boxer-briefs and slipped out to the living room without a sound.

“Where are you going?”

She stopped with her hands on each side of the small wooden table. The surprise written in her eyes was priceless. I’d caught her in the act of trying to leave without me knowing. She better be scared. The pregnant pause was dead in the air and I wasn’t about to let her go without answering.

“You didn’t answer my question. Where were you headed?” I pointed to the door that she was in front of. 

She looked down and began to pick at her nails, avoiding my eyes in the process. “Workout.”

“Don’t you need sneakers for that?” I stepped in front of her and her posture straightened. 

“Look, it’s…”

“What…None of my business? I sure as hell hope you weren’t about to say that.” I leaned in to lift her chin to look up at me. She pulled her head away in defiance. “It is my business because I’m not having you fall back into your old ways and try what you did again.” I crossed my arms over my chest and asked again. “Where are you going?”

She swallowed as she looked around. “The rooftop,” she whispered and closed her eyes in defeat.

“To kill yourself?” My outburst stunned her, but I couldn’t help it. Alarms rang through my mind and I tried to comprehend why anyone would try to end it all—and by jumping off the roof of a building of all ways? The alcohol and drugs combo didn’t work for her, so she was going to try this? “Like fucking hell you are!”

“No!” Her hands flew to my shoulders. The touch mixed with the need for me to understand her caused a wave of excitement flash through me. It must have done the same to her because she pulled her hands back looking just as shocked. I watched a mix of confusion and guilt roll across her expression.

“I just…I like to go up there to think.”

“You’ve been up there before?”

She nodded.

“Did you want to throw yourself off there before?” Her eyes avoided mine as she swallowed again. My stomach dropped that she’d considered killing herself before this recent attempt. “Then there’s no way you’re going up there again.”

“You can’t stop me from doing everything I used to do. I get that you’re worried about what I’ll do…”

“Worried? Aub, I’m terrified you’ll try that shit again.”

“Well, don’t. I’m not going to. I just need to go back up there.”

“Then I’m going with you.” Her shoulders slumped. “I can’t sit here staring out the window wondering if I’ll see your body flying down to the ground.”

“I’d have picked the other side of the building.” Some of her sarcasm was back. I’ll take it. I threw her a half-smile and then ran to my room to grab my jeans and a shirt. I was glad I had the forethought the other day to have a pair of shoes by the door just in case I needed to run after her. Or leave with the ambulance.

I turned and moved the stand over so we could get out the door. I grabbed my keys out of the bowl and pulled the door open for her.

“After you.”

Clark

A gust of cold night air slammed against my body the moment she pushed the door open. Compared to the view I just had of her tight ass walking up the stairs, it was quite the contrast to my thoughts. I was just about the let the door go, when Aub grabbed it and stuck a brick to keep it jammed open.

“I’ve no idea if it would really lock us out, but I’m not about to take a chance.” She shrugged and offered a shy smile. I’ve never seen her shy and for some reason, it was becoming. The way she turned and practically skipped across the rooftop caught my attention too. She seemed to be a different person up here. Or maybe it’d just been so long since I’ve seen her happy and with some of her confidence back.

I inhaled deep as I took in my surroundings. Although the air was cool, the city air made it seem thick. Combined with the smell of tar, the rooftop wasn’t someplace I’d ever thought to go and hang out, but being up here was pretty cool. The view was incredible. I turned my gaze up to the black blanket above. The stars that peppered the sky were astounding.

Aub placed her hands on the concrete wall surrounding the rooftop. Her silhouette against the backdrop of the skyline was breathtaking. Her black hair waved like a flag in the breeze while her light sweater tugged around her sensuous curves. She tilted her head back to take in the world around her, and my heart raced at the sight of her.

I was staring at her like some crazy weirdo, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I felt like I had to say something and break the awkward silence.

“I bet it’d be great to fuck up here.” Okay, so that wasn’t so subtle, but for some stupid reason I couldn’t think of anything else. She chuckled and I was relieved. She was so rarely in a joking mood these days. “So, as odd as it sounds, do you come here often?” My heart caught in my throat when she rolled her eyes playfully and gazed at me. The spark in her eye was something I didn’t know I was missing until right then.

“There’s no other woman up here, so you’re reduced to trying to pick me up? Is there ever a time when you’re not picking up women?”

I smiled, knowing how much I missed her playful banter. This was the woman I picked up at Mel and Flynn’s wedding. This was the woman who matched me in stamina in the bedroom that night. And this was definitely the only woman I wanted to pick up. Well, tonight at least. “Well, I need to keep on top of my game. I’ve never picked up a chick on a rooftop.” The cute way she laughed and then flicked her eyes to my lips, shot blood pumping straight to my throbbing cock.

“Never? How is that possible, Mr. Clark Kent?” She teased. Her eyes turned back to gaze at the city skyline. The rise of her chest as she inhaled the night air made my heart race again.
Crap.
Why am I feeling this? I wanted to laugh at myself.
She’s up here because she probably wants to kill herself and you’re thinking of fucking bending her over the concrete wall and drilling her hard. She’s in therapy and crazy!

“I come up here because it’s so calming. I’m away from the world, but not really.” The sound of her chuckle and what she said brought me out of my scandalous thoughts.
Almost.
“If you want to know the truth, I came up here one night and thought I would jump off.” She picked at her fingernail polish. “I was able to talk myself out of it that night.” The corner of her mouth turned up and it took everything I had not to grab the back of her head and pull her to me. Instead, I swallowed and looked down to the sidewalk below. It’d be a long ass drop, that’s for sure.

“Looks like it would be pretty painful.” It was my turn to give her a smirk. “I’m glad you didn’t.” What the hell am I doing? I’m flirting with a woman who just tried to kill herself. Then it also dawned on me that Tina was downstairs in my bed. Asleep. At least I hoped she was. Or did I? I wasn’t even sure how I felt about her anymore.

“I…just need calm,” she tried to explain and then leaned over the wall looking down to the nightlife below.

The sincerity in her voice overwhelmed me. She’d mentioned the ‘calm’ thing before.

“Calm? You can’t get that just lying in bed?” I asked and leaned on my forearms. The cold concrete wall was a little refreshing since I’m getting so hot just thinking about Aub.

She turned back to the skyline, her teeth tugged at the corner of her lip. “No, I’m pretty much a restless sleeper.”
Dammit.
I knew that from when I walked in on her having a nightmare way back.

“The nightmares? You get them a lot, don’t you?”  I paused a moment before asking what I really wanted to know. “What are they about?”

Her eyes peered at me from beneath her long lashes, ones that weren’t covered in all that black stuff for once. I noticed her swallow as the reflection of the moon shined in her eyes showing me the glint of tears welling up. She turned away quickly. Her voice was hoarse when she whispered, “It’s not an easy thing to talk about.”

My jaw tightened immediately. “But it has everything to do with your uncle dying, doesn’t it?” My stomach churned just from asking that.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

I watched her bottom lip quiver. I hadn’t even meant to ask about all this. A few seconds ago, we’d been flirting with each other and now she was about to lose it.
Dumbass
. I needed to fix it.

“I know I act like an asshole sometimes, but I’m always here to talk. And listen. I can listen really well. Or if you want to write it to me, I’d be…” my voice trailed off. I had no idea what else to say or how to say it. I hate talking about this crap, but I really did just want to try to understand and maybe even help her. I felt like I needed to do something. Anything. “I’m here for you, if you ever wanted to talk. That’s all.”

She quickly swiped a tear that ran down her cheek and sniffled. Those lips of hers trembled and I really wanted her to talk to me instead of bursting into tears. 

We were both quiet for a while, staring out at the city skyline. I couldn’t help but wonder what she might be thinking. I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure if this was one of those moments everyone always yells at me, telling me I should just shut-up.

Without thinking, I placed my hand on top of hers. My pulse raced as I entwined my fingers with hers while I let the air hang between us. Quiet.
I can be quiet.

I was as still as possible enjoying the warmth of her hand under mine. I couldn’t resist strumming my thumb back and forth over the soft skin on her hand. Maybe I was trying to coax her into telling me something. Or maybe I was actually enjoying the silence like she seemed to be. I took a deep breath and turned to look at her. Facing each other, seeing her warm brown eyes with such hurt reflecting in them, I wanted to hold her hand forever.

“So, how’s therapy going? Are you getting better?”
Why the hell did I ask that?

“I’m getting better,” she said with a small smile. “I’m learning a lot about myself and why I did the things I did.” She swallowed. “I’ll be cooling off my dating. Sarah said I should take it easy unless someone really catches my eye.” She stopped for a moment and then jumped back into her words. “No sex or anything like that. Just date. If I do date,” she stammered.

The word ‘date’ from her mouth did weird things to me. My blood pumped in a different way than before from just being turned on by her. I stood there feeling like steam was coming from my ears and tried not to show how ticked off I was. I wanted to say something, but other than tell her that she shouldn’t date anyone ever again, I couldn’t think of a thing to say. And I didn’t think she’d appreciate that.

Her words cut through my thoughts in the cool night air as she promised me, “I won’t try it again. I’m much better now, Clark.” Her eyes flicked back to the skyline. “I’m sorry for what I put you through.” Her voice could barely be heard over the city sounds, but I knew I heard the sincerity behind her apology.

The wind picked up, blowing her black hair behind her shoulder. The lights of the city danced on her face and I couldn’t stop staring at her. I needed to say something. Again, the quiet just nagged at me, but I still couldn’t stop my gaze at her. I cleared my throat hoping that would make me snap out of whatever trance I was in. “I’m sorry I yelled at you when you were…
watching
me. I just didn’t understand.”

“While we’re making apologies, I’m sorry I watched you without asking.” She threw me a small smile and admitted, “I guess it could be a bit creepy.”

I smirked. “A little.” The cold air freshened my lungs as I inhaled deeply. “But, I guess, if you need to for some reason, I can understand.”

“Thank you for the journal. Well, for saving me too. I guess I never really thanked you for that either. I’m sorry.”

“Full of apologies tonight, aren’t we?”

A corner of her lips turned up as she rolled her eyes. Her gaze turned back to the skyline. “Where’s your date?” My heart sank thinking about what I’d done with Tina earlier tonight. I’m not with Aub or anything, so I should actually feel guilty for leaving Tina alone while I’m up here with Aub.

“Asleep.” My answer was clipped as I leaned over, resting my forearms on the cold concrete wall again. I had no intention of talking about Tina when I couldn’t even figure out how I felt about her. Not that I ever could.

We both seemed lost in our own thoughts as we watched the lights of the city dance around us. It was too quiet and I couldn’t keep it that way much longer. The silence seemed to just make me feel farther apart from her. Considering I was standing right next to her, feeling that way seemed really strange.

“I decided on a new rule.” My voice cut through the silence making me feel better.

“What’s that?” Her eyes lit up for a moment. Just a moment and then she frowned. I wasn’t sure what that was about, so I went ahead and told her my new idea.

“From now on, if you need to watch me sleep you have to lie down next to me. At least that way, I won’t feel like someone’s going to kill me or something weird.”

Aub’s mouth turned up as she chuckled. “That’s your rule?” She swallowed and then looked away. “Tina’s here.” My heart sank to my stomach hearing Tina’s name on her lips again. “And I noticed last time you locked your door,” she admitted to me. I smiled. For some reason knowing she’s tried to come to my room sent some weird thrill through me.

“Tina is leaving tomorrow for several weeks for some photo shoot. And when you watched me, I was a bit freaked out at first, but Vanessa had to talk some sense into me.”

Again her eyes twinkled as she chuckled. “You thought I was a vampire.”

“You’d make a really hot vampire, you know.” I couldn’t help but pull my brows up as I smiled.

“You think?” She teased.

Just picturing her in a tight sexy dress got me all excited again. “Oh hell, yeah. Maybe we could make that a new rule too. You have to wear some tight black dress when you need to watch me.” Fuck, I was hard as a rock just thinking about her lying on my bed dressed like that.
Shit.

She shook her head laughing and seemed full of relief. I thought back to what I said before the dress thing and that’s when I realized she was probably at ease because I told her she could watch me again.

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and pulled her close. The surprise on her face threw me off and I remembered quickly what she was going through mentally. I wasn’t going to be the one to screw her up like that Greg guy had done. I realized right then I really wanted to be the guy to help her through this.

I swallowed, ignoring my strong desire to press my lips to hers. I dropped my arm from one side of her waist and began walking toward the staircase. “Let’s go watch some movies until you fall asleep.”

Her eyes questioned me as she asked, “And Tina?” I had already forgotten about her again.

I shrugged and looked toward the door. “I’ll slip back in there before she wakes.”

“Can I ask you what’s going on between you two?” She asked just as we reached the door. When I pulled the door open, I gestured for her to step through. From here on out, I decided I would be completely honest with her. If I wanted her to be honest with me, I should do the same.

“We’re back on for now. Until she leaves me for her boyfriend again.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Her words seemed to echo through the stairwell.

“Yeah, I guess. I like having her as a part-time girlfriend. All the benefits and then when I get sick of her, she leaves.” Why the hell did I just tell her that when it’s not really how I feel? At least it’s not anymore.

“Does she know? About what I did?” She asked nervously when we reached the landing.

“No,” I immediately answered. “And she doesn’t need to know as far as I’m concerned.”

She nodded and gave me a timid smile. “Thanks.”

“What’s
she
doing on the couch?” Tina asked as we walked into the living room to leave.

Man, it had been a long night. I couldn’t wait to drop Tina’s ass off at the airport. I wished I could head back home and go back to sleep, but had to head to work right after. Maybe I’d try to leave early since I was so exhausted.

I had slipped back into bed with Tina about an hour before her alarm went off. It was totally worth it, though. Aub had her head in my lap the entire night while she tried to fall asleep. I turned on a replay of a basketball game figuring it would bore the hell out of her. It also allowed my thoughts to wander without having to concentrate on a movie. Running my fingers through her silky hair also put me to sleep. My neck was killing me and the oddest part is, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.