Breathless (The Breathe Series) (3 page)

“They are good. Still in New York.” I spoke softly, picking at one of the cupcakes I had grabbed from the cooling tray.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, the blue eyes I had inherited looking back at me.

“I freaked out when she left, Mom. I can’t stop thinking that I am going to become Dad and I can’t stop thinking that I am going to fuck everything up.”

Mom’s eyes narrowed in at me. “Language, Tate.”

“Sorry, Mom, but I am scared. Not scared of having a baby with Sav. Scared that I am going to screw it up.”

“Does Sav know that? Does she know that you are committed to her and this baby and that it isn’t her or the pregnancy that you are scared of? Because, my boy, if you have put that fear in her it will crush her. The way she looks at you and speaks of you, I know you are it for her because it’s the same way you look at and speak about her. You two need to get this right. Otherwise you will be alone because no one can match the love you have for each other.”

I looked at my mom as realization hit hard. She hadn’t met anyone since Dad left. Was my Dad it for her? I knew they were high school sweethearts that went to college together and then Mom got pregnant with me and Tanzi when she was twenty-one. Mom was Sav’s age when Dad left.

“Is that what Dad was to you?”

“This isn’t about me and your father, Tate. This is about you and Savannah.”

“Do you think I am going to make a good dad?” My voice was timid but my question brutal. I was still trying to get my head around the thought of being a father. Shit, it was barely six months ago that my plan was to be a bachelor for life, living only for myself and my selfish needs. But then as if the world shuffled its deck of cards, I was dealt a beautiful, stubborn, frustrating Australian named Savannah and I felt like I’d won the best hand of cards of my life.

“If I raised you right, you will be the best dad you can be.”

And with those words, my mom cemented the stubbornness, desire, and motivation within me to be the man she deserved as a son.

I spent two days at Mom’s eating way too much food and surfing the hours away. It was the perfect break but still I hadn’t spoken to Sav. I hadn’t heard her laugh, I hadn’t heard about New York, and I hadn’t been able to ask about Jellybean. Text messages weren’t cutting it. My time at Mom’s allowed me to work on a project I wanted to do for Sav and Jellybean and distracted me from the thoughts swamping my mind. Jack had come down and thankfully was able to help me load my surprise present in my car. I needed to get back to LA to work, and more importantly, I needed to work out how the hell I could speak to Sav.

One week.
Seven days. One hundred and sixty-eight hours without Sav. I had never been this needy before.

The sound of Simon’s thick Australian accent boomed through the apartment, quickly followed by the echo of heavy steps as he stalked towards me. “Where is he?”

Simon’s eyes narrowed on me the moment he found me in the kitchen. The man known as Mr. Davenport stood before me with intimidation oozing off him. His height, his piercing death stare, and his fiery nature could scare the fuck out of grown men. I didn’t drop my gaze though. Tanzi nervously shifted her gaze between the two of us before hurrying down the hall towards her room, making some excuse about having to wash her hair.

Simon stood before me, the bench the only thing separating us. “What the hell are you doing, Tate?”

Wasn’t it obvious? I looked between him and the sandwich I was making. “I am making a snack before I go back to Red Velvet.”

“You profess your love to her and then piss off for a week without so much as a word. Did you know that it’s coming up to the anniversary of her parents’ death? Did you know that she is on the other side of the country on her own and I am the one who spends the night on the phone with her while she cries her fucking eyes out? You should be the one on the phone with her. You, her boyfriend. You say you love her, that you will never hurt her, and then look what you do. You are piss weak.”

The loud clink of metal on glass echoed through the kitchen as I dropped the knife from my hand. How dare he? I stalked around the bench, my eyes firmly gripped to the man throwing accusations my way. “It might not seem like it but everything I do is for her. I have been trying to get in contact with her for days. Every day I call and text her. Do you want to see my fucking phone? Do I have to prove it to you?” I breathed heavily as I stood before him. His eyes glared at mine while my fists clenched tightly at my side. If he were anyone other than the grandfather of my future child I’d punch that accusation right out of him. “When I’m not working, she is, and when she isn’t working, I am. I don’t really want to call my PREGNANT girlfriend at two in the morning when she should be resting. Jesus Christ, you’d be over here telling me how fucking insensitive I was. I can’t win with you!”

“You aren’t making that too clear at the moment, Tate. Can I give you some advice? You and Sav are two of the most frustrating, messed up people I know, but you seem to work. Well, until one of you fuck it up. Savannah is as fragile as glass and ready to shatter at any moment. I will not let that happen, Tate. She loves you. She has given everything to you. You don’t realize how much of a big deal that is.”

“I do, Simon.” I groaned in frustration.

“Let me speak, Tate,” he growled. “You break her heart one more time and I will not let you anywhere near her. I made a promise to myself when she was eighteen that I’d always protect her and never let her hurt again and you have made me go back on my promise once. I will not let you do it again. Prove yourself to me, Tate. Show me that you are worthy of my girl.”

“Come with me.” I wrenched my keys off the bench and stormed through my apartment, furious at both myself and Simon. His loud steps followed me as I left the apartment and walked towards the elevator. The ride to the fifth floor was intense. I wanted nothing more than to prove him wrong, to prove to him that I was the right guy for Savannah. I fidgeted with the keys in the palm of my hand in a feeble attempt to get my emotions in check. The man standing opposite me, the one firing looks of disappoint at me, was the one guy I needed on my side. He knew Savannah better than anyone. He was my future child’s grandfather, and he was the one man I admired most in the world.

The sound of the elevator coming to a halt ripped me from my thoughts. I shot Simon a look before I stepped out onto the fifth floor. The silence was deafening but I swore I could hear my heart beating from the depths of my chest. I fiddled with the keys, turning them over in my hand, and stormed towards the front door of Savannah’s apartment.

“Why are we here?” Simon’s brow furrowed as he looked between me and the closed door. If he wanted to see the truth, I was going to show him. I unlocked the door and pushed it open with my hip, allowing Simon to walk through. The smell of cherry blossoms overtook my senses, and it was as if Sav were with me. This was her, cherry blossoms and strawberries. As we walked through the apartment, my eyes darted everywhere besides Simon. I just wanted to get this over and done with.

Simon stopped suddenly when we reached the living room and turned sharply towards me, his face shocked.

“That’s what I’ve been doing, Simon. Do not ever question my feelings for Sav. I’d do anything and everything for her. She and my baby she is carrying consume my every thought.”

“Well fuck me sideways, Tate Connors. You never cease to amaze me.” Simon’s smile took over his face, and he shook his head, trying to let it sink in.

“For some crazy reason, Sav has chosen to give me her heart, and I promise you I will NEVER destroy that. You have my word.”

“Prove me wrong, mate.” Simon patted me on the shoulder and walked through the apartment and out the door, leaving me completely speechless.

Red
Velvet on a Saturday night would always be described as crazy. Red Velvet, my first love, my first baby, my livelihood and distraction. Jumping out of my jeep, I walked through the packed parking lot with a smile on my face. I could never have imagined that my idea of a bar could turn into this. Music seeped through the walls, filling the parking lot with the rasp of a female singer, allowing the few bar-goers still waiting to get in to enjoy the sounds of the band that was gracing the stage. It was eight pm and I was arriving for my second shift of the day.

“Didn’t you only finish a couple of hours ago, man?” Stevie, my long-time bouncer, asked, greeting me with a loopy grin.

“I just can’t keep away from the place.” Shaking his hand, I shot him a smirk before pushing open the doors and weaving my way through the crowd. The loud bass thumped through my body as my attention was taken by the throaty voice of the female lead singer. She was undeniably someone who would have gotten my attention before. Wearing the tightest top that left little to the imagination and a skirt that barely covered her ass, she would definitely have been seeing the inside of my office...or the restaurant, the back alley, or the VIP section. Man-whore Tate would have destroyed her.

“Weren’t you here earlier?”

I removed my eyes from the singer on stage and turned to my left to find Ali standing with her hands on her hips and a knowing look spreading across her face.

Leaning in, I kissed her on the cheek and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “What?” I scoffed. “I can’t come and work with my favorite cousin?”

She narrowed her eyes on me and shook her head slowly. “I know what you are doing.”

“And what would that be, Ali?” I asked with a smirk. I loved how she thought she could read me. She had been like this ever since we were little.

“You are distracting yourself because you are wallowing in self-pity because Sav isn’t here.”

“Bingo.” I nudged her shoulder and took off towards my office. My distraction would be engrossing myself in my work, the one thing I had been doing since Sav had left. This no contact business with Sav was killing me. I collapsed into my highly overpriced office chair and fired up my laptop. If I couldn’t see her, I would work. I tapped away mindlessly on my laptop, working through figures, projections, and recruitment. I hated this side of the business, and I’d hired Jennie for this reason. I groaned loudly, stretching my arms over my head. The music was growing louder by the hour, and the cute singer was still distracting me through the walls. My eyes tried to concentrate on the screen in front of me but my mind was scattered elsewhere.

The door of my office flew open, startling me from my work. My eyes flew towards the door and my ears were overcome by the loud music throbbing through my office. Jack and Tanzi stumbled in, drunk off their tits.

“Tatey potaty!”

I cringed at the sound of my childhood nickname. Tanzi was beyond drunk if she was using it. Closing my laptop, I knew that my ‘work’ day was over. I shifted in my seat, clasping my hands behind my head and groaning as a stretch soared through my body. The smell of booze oozing out of Tanzi’s and Jack’s bodies hit my nose and my stomach lurched. My laughter escaped deep within my chest as I looked at my highly intoxicated sister and best friend and couldn’t help but laugh. Today was their anniversary and I knew that Jack had made reservations at some fancy restaurant in the city so seeing them standing in my office was the last thing I’d been expecting to see.

“Shouldn’t you be out celebrating?” I asked with raised brows. Standing from my desk, I walked through the office to close my door. When I turned around, my eyes hovered between them both and my senses were overcome by the alcohol seeping from their pores.

“We should be home fucking each other’s brains out but your dear sister wanted to check in on you.”

“Christ, Jack! Sister filter, remember?!” Smirking, I squinted trying to get the image of Tanzi and Jack having sex out of my head.

“Yeah but I’m your best friend. Remember, bros before hoes.”

“Touché, my friend. Touché.”

“Who are you calling a ho, you asshole?” Tanzi slapped Jack hard across the chest before bursting into a fit of giggles, bending over, and slapping her thighs as if she had just said the funniest joke ever. Suddenly she stood, and after an uneasy step, she pointed at me with fierce eyes. “I’m calling Sav.”

Trying to reason, I spoke. “Tanzi, it’s like two in the morning there.”

“I don’t care. If I am a ho, she is a ho. Ho sisters stick together.”

Before I could object any further, Tanzi had her phone to her ear and was talking in a soft tone. Trying my hardest to hear, I moved towards her. Suddenly her eyes focused on me and she nodded at something Sav had said. Jack moved to her side and attached himself to her neck like a vacuum, not before firing a smirk at me.

“Talk to your girlfriend,” Tanzi whispered and shoved her phone towards me. “Come find me and give me my phone when you are finished. Oh, and no phone sex on my phone.” She winked and pulled Jack out of my office, closing the door behind her. I looked towards the closed door and collapsed on the couch.

“Savannah?” I whispered into the phone.

The sound of her taking a shaky deep breath filled my ears, and my eyes instantly closed as my emotions ran out of control.

“I love when you call me Savannah.”

“Fuck, I miss you.”

“Yeah, I miss you too.”

I noticed the hesitation in her voice the moment she spoke.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I am okay.”

“Savannah, I am pretty sure I know when something is wrong with my girlfriend.”

“It’s nothing, Tate… Fine, I got a text from Lucas.”

“And?”

“He told me you were checking out chicks.”

“Cheerleaders, Sav. They were the Chargers cheerleaders. Jack and I watched football and we always watch the cheerleaders. It’s what we do. Lucas is a fucking asshole who needs to stay out of my business.”

“He is just protective.”

“Stop defending him. He needs to mind his own business and worry about his girlfriend and stop worrying about mine.”

“We are friends, Tate. Friends look out for each other. He is just looking out for me.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing full well that Lucas had a hidden agenda. “Is that why you haven’t been returning my calls?”

“No it’s not, I promise. The time difference sucks balls.” She took a deep breath that echoed through the phone. “How’s LA? What’s new?” Sav changed the subject as quickly as it began.

“I’m working a lot.”

“So I’ve heard.”

I rolled my eyes. “Was it Tanzi or Ali?”

“They are worried about you, and I need for you to take care of yourself. Believe me, your body needs to be in peak physical condition for what I have planned for you when I come home. I am going to have you on your back for days.”

“Don’t change the subject, Sav.”

“I’m not. I just don’t want to have an argument with you over the phone, especially if I can’t have amazing make-up sex with you.”

I hissed as my body reacted instantly to her words. “You are going to make me explode in my pants right here.”

“No phone sex, remember?”

We both sat in silence on opposite sides of the country, listening to the other breathe. My anger towards Lucas had subsided by a simple word from Savannah, but I knew it was still playing on her mind. My eyes scanned the four corners of my office and it hit me. Owning a bar definitely had its perks, and I had used them to my advantage on more than one occasion, but what had started as a crazy dream with loose chicks and endless booze was now my livelihood. Red Velvet had been the dream of a guy mourning the life he’d thought was mapped out for him, but now Red Velvet was the place that was going to support my family. My thoughts had been running rampant. Time on my own always ended up with decisions being made at the drop of a hat, and I hoped I didn’t lose her when I made the toughest decision yet.

“I’m coming to New York.”

Her laughter filled my ears. “Don’t be silly. I’ll be home in a few weeks. You have work.”

Little did she know I was already planning my arrival in the Big Apple.