Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) (12 page)

"Not that I've seen," she said.

"The Ruby family's wave spends all of its time at my father's house."

Deryn's head snapped up. "It?"

"Yes, the wave. We have just the one now. My family was downgraded after my mom's execution."

"Waves and slaves aren't
its
, Ruby. They're hes and shes."

"Says who?" he asked, clearly egging her on. "Besides, I don't know what
it
is. All waves have their heads shaved, and the one my father owns' sex isn't exactly discernible."

Deryn's jaw dropped.

Xander smirked. "Are you going to yell at me now?"

"You're damn right I am! What right do you have to say something so degrading about a poor, defenseless person?"

"Every right. I own
it
."

"
He
!" she yelled.

Xander froze. "What?"

"
He
! Not
it
!
He
!"

"How do you know my family's wave is a he? It was a woman who did my laundry." His eyes drifted slightly towards the photo on his bookshelf. The one where – he had noticed previously – she had covered the image of his father.

Deryn lost all color in her face. "Or she," she said quickly. "'He' is just a natural default."

"Like my 'it'?"

"No, Ruby" said Deryn slowly and clearly. "It's not the same."

"What a fucking double standard!"

Deryn had stopped listening. Xander watched closely as she sucked on her bottom lip, very visibly falling into the depths of her mind again. She did that a lot.

"Leon," he called.

It was a few seconds before she looked up and noticed him.

"I'm not serious. I understand all slaves are people, but I have to say 'it' when around other Guardians or the president. It's what's expected of me."

Deryn nodded. "I know," she said, taking another sip of her tea. "I think I'm going to take this to bed. I really need to work on getting past these nightmares."

She started to stand, but Xander reached across the couch and grabbed her arm before she got very far. "I've heard that, sometimes, it helps to talk about your nightmares."

Deryn blinked. "Talk about it?"

"Yes."

She blinked again. "With you?"

"That is what I was getting at. I can see now why everyone always thought you were so intelligent."

"And it's those sorts of comments that make me not want to tell you anything."

Xander smirked. "Come on, Leon. I humored you with the tea. Even made a cup for myself instead of hitting the bottle. Now it's your turn to humor me."

Deryn pursed her lips and studied him. Since the day she got there, Xander had been putting on this persona that never felt quite right to her. Something was off, and she had a hard time believing he cared at all about her nightmares. If she had to make a guess, she would say that he didn't want to be alone. If he really did never sleep, like he said, then she imagined his nights were pretty lonely, especially when he was so unwilling to let anyone stay over. And it wasn't like she had to be anywhere in the morning. She might as well 'humor' him.

With a light sigh, Deryn sunk back in her seat. Xander removed his hand from her arm and returned to his side of the couch. They both sat with their feet up, hers crossed beneath her while his were out in front of him, one bent and one straight.

Deryn took another sip of her tea before starting. "I don't know what you're expecting. My nightmares aren't exactly cryptic. I just dream about that day at Eagle."

"Am I in it?" he asked while circling the rim of his mug with his finger.

"No," she said honestly. In all her years reliving the same nightmare, not once had Xander made an appearance. It was always President Saevus, Elvira and Atticus, with her other former owners occasionally sprinkled in. A shiver ran through her. "Why do you ask?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose it's the way you look at me every time I wake you. Like you're ready to kill."

The smallest of smiles crept onto Deryn's lips. "Sorry."

"It's probably my fault for even attempting to wake you. I wouldn't bother at all if your damn screams weren't loud enough to alert the whole fucking neighborhood."

Deryn frowned. "Well, maybe if you put a soundproof shield around my room, like I ask every day after you bring one of your women over, we wouldn't have that problem."

"You
know
I can't do that. It connects to my wristband and the president has all technology used by his guards and Guardians checked every morning, and he knows I live in an area that's basically deserted. It's his way of keeping us under his iron thumb. Then he has us check everyone else's homes so they're under
our
iron thumb."

"But you put one up every time I'm out on the balcony."

"Yes, because I can use it once and say I have loud or nosy neighbors downstairs." Which he did. "It's either a soundproof shield at night or your balcony privileges. I'll let you make the call."

Deryn's frown deepened. She looked down at her tea and quietly said, "Balcony."

"What was that?" he said, leaning his left ear towards her. "I couldn't quite hear your mumbling. Speak up."

"Balcony," she said slightly louder as she looked up and scowled at him.

Xander smirked. "I knew it. I knew you secretly enjoyed hearing me fuck."

Deryn's cheeks flushed. "N-no -"

"Don't deny it. I can see it written all over your face."

"Stop it."

"Come on, Leon. I might actually believe you if you weren't blushing."

Now her whole face was red. "I said, stop it."

"Not until you -"

"I
need
to go out on the balcony so I don't suffocate in here!"

Xander's eyebrows rose high into his hairline as he gave her a look of surprise. His face stayed frozen like that for a few seconds, unblinking. Until, eventually, that signature smirk of his returned. "If you'd like, I can give you a few pointers."

Deryn gazed at him, heavy breaths coming out steadily through her nose. Then she rolled her eyes. "You repulse me."

Xander's smirk widened. "Ah, now there's the Leon I remember. We'll have you cursing at me in no time."

The corner of her mouth twitched upwards. "Ass."

"Shit!"

Deryn popped awake at the suddenness of Xander's shouts.

"I'm fucking late!"

A bit disoriented, she looked around to see that she was still in the living room. A flash of blond hair ran by.

"I work for a sadistic psychopath and I'm late. Fuck!"

His door slammed and, a few seconds later, she heard the water running in his personal shower.

Deryn waited a few more seconds for the shower door to open and then close. Once she heard the click, she got up from the couch and tiptoed over to his bedroom door. She opened it just enough to slip in and went over to his bed, thoroughly searching the pillows for any stray hairs belonging to whomever he'd brought home the previous night.

This was Deryn's only chance to do this, since Xander always tossed his sheets in the washer downstairs on his way out, to rid them of last night's conquest. She was, of course, absolutely repulsed by this task, constantly fearing that she would accidently come across a different kind of hair, but it was necessary. She had been there eleven days now and her body was finally starting to feel normal again. It was time to prepare.

Her time spent in guard training was not all about Element usage and fighting. Upon entry, everyone was tested and the most intelligent of applicants were also used to help develop the ever-growing technology of Utopia. She had actually been chosen to start working in the Government Lab the day she turned eighteen, but that obviously never happened.

One of these technological advances was the wristbands everyday citizens wore on their right arm. They were connected to the wearer's DNA and were able to store all of their information. Hence the hair, and a project she had every intention of starting.

Deryn finally located one, long and honey-blonde this time. That made two blondes, one brunette and one raven haired girl since she'd been there, only missing one from the woman that first night. Hair in hand, she slipped out of his room and went to hers. She took out a plastic bag she'd found and put this hair in with the rest.

Once that was done, Deryn caught sight of the list she had written yesterday and slid it into her pocket. She then went back to the living room and waited for Xander so she could give it to him.

The water turned off and there was more shuffling around his room. Xander was rarely ever late in the mornings and was always really good about eating breakfast. Looking at the clock, she realized there would be no time for that.

On instinct, Deryn went to the kitchen and turned on the toaster oven. She took out a loaf of bread from the small pantry and cut two slices. While they were toasting, she grabbed some jam from the refrigerator and a knife from the drawer.

Xander burst out of his room, sheets in hand, just as she was finishing spreading the jam on the pieces of toast. His eyes scanned the apartment until they located her. She walked over and handed him a slice.

"Here," she said. "You should eat something before you go."

Staring suspiciously at the toast in her outstretched hand, Xander lifted his eyebrows.

"Just take it," she said, shoving it into his hand. He took it. While he still stood there baffled, she took a bite of her slice. "I have compiled a list of everything I need at the Black Market. Are you still going to be able to go for me today?"

"Yeah, I should have time," said Xander, aggressively chomping his toast.

Deryn took the list out of her pocket and handed it to him. He unfolded the paper as best he could with his full hands and carefully scanned it. After reading only a few items, he turned to her and cocked an eyebrow. "Are you making wristbands?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "I would like to experiment with them to see if I'm able to create a false identification for myself."

"There really is no need. For the right price, I'm sure I can find someone -"

"No, I want to do it," she said sternly. "It's been years since I've worked on anything like this and I want to give it a try."

"You were second best when it came to these types of experiments in training. I doubt -"

"I was
the
best, Ruby. Don't delude yourself into thinking otherwise."

He sneered at her while taking another aggressive bite of toast.

"Be that as it may, I'm out of practice, and it's something to keep me busy so I don't go crazy locked in here alone all day."

Xander grunted. "Yeah, fine," he said, slipping her list into his pocket. "I want to get you trained with that knife of yours, too. You need some sort of protection and I refuse to get you a better weapon until you're fully healed. Even if you get a wristband with a false identity working properly you can't just go running out of here. You need a plan, and I suspect it'll take several weeks, if not months. Have you finally accepted that you're going to be stuck here for that long?"

"I suppose I have," she said, taking another bite. "You're late, remember?"

Xander's eyes widened as he released a loud, "Shit!" and ran to the door. "Don't forget! No balcony when I'm not here!"

She waved at him nonchalantly and shrugged a, more-or-less, affirmative yes.

"I mean it, Leon! You're in hiding. Never forget that."

"I know," she said firmly.

Xander narrowed his eyes and took a forceful bite before opening and slamming the door.

“You dropped a pillowcase!”

He stormed back in, grabbed the fallen item, sneering once more as he hurried off.

Finding herself alone again, Deryn made a cup of coffee before curling up in her favorite blanket on the couch. She really should have tried to go back to sleep, and in the proper location this time, but she knew it was pointless. By now, she had accepted that she would never get a decent night's sleep again. There were just too many things plaguing her dreams.

Deryn sat there in silence for a while, her finger absently tracing the rim of her mug as she stared over at the desk and the untouched portable computer Xander used for reading. Untouched by her, anyway. Xander had said she could use it to read anything she wanted and gave her the password days ago, thinking that maybe his lack of permission was why she hadn't already, but, for some reason, she just couldn't bring herself to pick it up. Even though her body was healing nicely, her mind still didn't feel quite right, and she was afraid to find out how much damage had been done. Not to mention the improper feel of a hologram of words in front of her eyes.