Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) (13 page)

They were nothing compared to the paper volumes she read in her youth, most dating back to before the war that destroyed their world. While many books had become mush over the years, there were plenty that could still be read. Every time her father went out to explore a new region, he would always return with them for her. Books, records, music boxes, snow globes. Any knickknacks he came across that were still in good shape. Usually finding them in a rusted safe or bomb shelter. Once he had found an entire library that had been preserved by sheer, dumb luck. He had promised to take her there one day, but had never gotten the chance.

With a heavy sigh, Deryn stood from the couch and carried her blanket and untouched coffee out to the balcony.

~

"You're holding the knife wrong again, Leon."

"How many ways can there possibly be to hold a knife?" asked Deryn.

"Two. The right way and the wrong way," answered Xander. "Now correct your form."

With a grunt, she placed her hand the way she knew he wanted. For being the right way, it certainly felt wrong.

Xander stepped forward and readjusted her elbow, making her stance feel even more wrong. "From what I recall, you were a good soldier. Why are you so bad at this?"

"This sort of combat wasn't exactly touched upon."

"Yeah, because why would you want to fight with a knife when you have a gun that can turn someone to dust?"

Deryn gave him a look. "Which is exactly why I need something more powerful than this stupid thing. Get me a gun."

Xander laughed. "The Black Market is full of rebels and Resistance members. While they may want my money, not one of them would dare sell me a gun."

"You're a Guardian! Get me something from
your
side."

"Since you've been out of the loop for the past five years, I'll excuse your naivety and tell you a little story," said Xander with a grimace. "Once upon a time, a large group of Outsiders broke into our training center, took our weapons and used them against us. The president was not pleased, so when the battle was over he had every last Element collected and destroyed, ordering his team of top engineers to come up with a new design. One that could only be used by its owner."

He pulled back his coat and grabbed his Element out of its holster. While showing it to her, he placed his finger on a small gold square on the side. It beeped, a blue light scanning his finger before pricking it. The moment it had a blood sample, both his wristband and the Element started glowing.

"New weapons are only ever made anymore when we have a new recruit. And if you lose yours you're executed. No questions asked."

Deryn stared into his golden eyes and frowned. "Well, that blows."

"Yes, it does," he said, using his fingerprint again to turn the Element off before putting it away. "Now, proper form."

She did as she was told.

"When taking someone down, I can imagine going for their heart is the initial gut reaction. Or, in your case, slitting their throat."

Deryn gave Xander a look. He just smiled and moved so he was in front of her.

"I got him, didn't I?" she said with a sneer.

"Yes, but only because the bastard was an unsuspecting victim. Now imagine, if you will, someone coming at you. What do you do?"

Deryn looked at her raised knife, and then at Xander as he took a step forward. "You're right. I think heart." She tapped his with the tip of her blade.

"Exactly. But, from my experience, the heart is too unpredictable when acting quickly. You could miss or hit the ribcage, or even stab the heart successfully, but that doesn't mean your victim will die right away. They could still get one good whack at you."

"Stop calling them that. I can assure you, anyone I stab is
not
a victim. They will deserve it."

"Oh, I have no doubt," said Xander. "But when your
prey
comes for you, might I suggest that you raise your knife -" He grabbed her hand and lifted the knife higher. "- and get them right here." The tip of the blade touched his neck. "Sever the jugular vein." He positioned the knife correctly.

Deryn stared at the spot on his neck for a moment before meeting his eyes. "Slitting the throat worked just fine for me." She ran the knife gently across his neck.

Xander stared back at her and asked, "Then why did you stab him first?"

"I only had a moment to react and I hit him where I could."

He grinned. "That's all fine and dandy, but if you have more than a moment, do yourself a favor and go for the jugular vein." Xander stepped away from the knife touching his throat and began looking around. "Now, where is that holster I got you? I want to show you how to attach it and pull the knife out with ease on your unsuspecting vict - I mean prey."

She lowered the knife and helped him look.

"I must've left it in my room," he said, heading that way.

Continuing to look around the living room, Deryn finally found the holster between the couch cushions. "Got it, Ruby!" she called as she picked it up.

"Fine! Gonna take a piss if that's alright with you!" he called back.

Deryn rolled her eyes. She did that a lot when he was around.

While she waited for him to return, she took a good look at the holster. It was basically just a thin band for her arm with a little pocket attached. She put it on her right arm, slipping the knife into the pocket. It fit like a glove.

Deryn bent her wrist down but was unable to grab the handle. She lowered the holster and tried again, successfully grabbing the knife, but pulling it out a little too aggressively. The knife went flying, knocking something on the bookshelf that fell off the edge with a crash.

Deryn gasped.

She ran over and kneeled beside the broken object. She couldn't quite tell what it was anymore, but it appeared to be some sort of blue bottle. She thought apothecary, but considering Xander had spent his entire life living in the city she highly doubted he owned an Outsiders trinket.

"What are you doing?"

Deryn whipped around. Xander was standing in the doorway of his bedroom, his eyes drifting to the pile of blue glass on the floor. His face sank.

"Sorry, I ..." Deryn gulped. "It was an accident."

"How the fuck was it an accident?" he spat as he marched over and crouched down beside the broken glass. He lifted a couple of pieces and tried to match them together like a puzzle, but the thing was completely shattered. "What were you even doing over here?"

"I ..." Deryn lifted her arm and showed him the holster. "I pulled the knife out too hard."

Xander stared blankly at her arm for a moment. Then his face fell into a hideous scowl. "I was gone for two fucking minutes! You couldn't wait that long for me to teach you properly?" he spat, dropping the pieces and rising back to his feet. "Fuck!"

"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I didn't mean to upset -"

"Do I look
upset
?"

"Well ... yes, I would say -"

"No one asked you!"

"But you just -"

"Stupid, fucking toxic trash! Stay the fuck away from my things!"

Deryn's eyes grew wet as Xander turned on his heel and marched into his bedroom, dramatically slamming the door behind him. She was too stunned to move. He had called her toxic. Something he hadn't done since before. Maybe he truly did believe the lies he was told about the outside world. And suddenly he seemed a lot more like the boy she once knew in training, who thought less of her because she was from a world he had been taught to hate. A place he had never gone to without a gasmask for protection.

Xander's old self had never felt so close to her, so real. Every day she would justify her staying with a Guardian by convincing herself that he was different than the rest, but how different could he really be if he still saw her that way? Just a piece of toxic trash.

One outburst was all it took for Deryn to lose that ease she had been feeling for the first time in years. Now she was as scared as ever.

Without another thought, she grabbed her knife and put it in the holster on her arm. She stood up and ran for her room, knowing she couldn't stay here another minute. Not with
him
.

Deryn snatched her coat out of the closet and threw it on, then grabbed her map and chocolate bar off of the dresser and tossed them in her pocket. Once she had everything, she ran back to the living room, found her ragged old boots in the closet by the front door and put them on. Then, with a deep breath, she pulled on her hood, opened the door and left the apartment for the first time in almost two weeks.

Without looking back, she ran down the stairs two at a time and left that building as fast as she possibly could, barely noticing Bronson sitting in the hall outside of his apartment, eyeing her curiously as she sped by.

Xander was in his bathroom, splashing cold water on his face when he heard the door. He whipped his head around and tried to listen closer to see if his ears had deceived him, but there was no other sound.

He hurried to the living room, calling the name, "Leon," as he went into her bedroom. She wasn't there. So he checked her bathroom. Nothing. And then the balcony. She was nowhere. "Leon!" he called louder. No one answered. "Fuck!"

Xander went to the front closet and grabbed his coat. He noticed her shoes were missing when he put on his.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he shouted before running out the door and down the stairs.

"Hey, Ruby, what's going on?"

Xander ignored Bronson as he ran by his door. He had no time for him right now. Every moment Deryn was outside was a moment too long. The search for her was still going strong and it was only a couple of hours until curfew. There was no way she could find a successful way out of Middle City, let alone a safe place in Outer City by then. Even he didn't know how to get out and he was a Guardian. He had to find her.
Now
.

Deryn didn't know how long she'd been running. She just wanted to get as far away from Xander's apartment as possible, but it was time for her to stop and think about where she was going.

Ducking into the first alley she saw, she took out her map and looked it over. She had already pinpointed where Xander lived days ago and she was pretty sure she had run east. One look at what she assumed was north - where President Saevus's lavish house resided, large and high for everyone to see - confirmed it.

An entrance to the underground, the remains of the tunnels their ancestors had barricaded themselves in for years, was not far. She had once asked Xander if the people hiding down there would be affected by the curfew and he'd said no. But it was still very dangerous, with S.U.R.G.E.'s patrolling and searching for life constantly, and he didn't envy whoever chose it as their place of refuge.

S.U.R.G.E.'s were also sent to attack people out past curfew, since they were able to detect body heat outside of registered residences and find all offenders within minutes. Some nights they took prisoners, others they killed. It all depended on what sort of mood President Saevus was in. For some reason, this technology did not work underground.

Despite all of that, Deryn knew she was out of options. If she didn't want to go back to Xander's then she needed to get underground before the curfew began.

Putting the map away, she poked her head out of the alley and searched for people. There were none. She walked back out and headed in the direction she was sure was right.

Deryn had barely turned onto the next block when someone did the same farther down the street. A tall figure hidden beneath a dark trench coat. They walked towards each other and she tried to remain calm, so as not to bring any attention to herself.

The person slowed as she passed, trying to get a good look at her, but she made sure he or she didn't.

"'Ey! Curfew's comin' soon. You got somewhere to go?" asked a male voice she vaguely recognized.

Deryn pretended she didn't hear him and kept walking.

"'Ey! I'm talkin' to you!"

She paused, turned slightly and said, "I'm just trying to get home." Then she kept going.

Deryn didn't even hear the footsteps, but they must have been there since someone was suddenly grabbing her arm and pulling her into the closest alley. He slammed her against the wall.

"Lemme see your wristband," he said, pulling up his sleeve so she could see Saevus's crest on his left wrist. A Guardian.

Deryn's breath hitched. She looked up and was immediately met with the shifty blue eyes of Dougal Fender, a Guardian who had owned her once.

He stared back at her, his eyes hazy. Obviously drunk. It was a long moment before there was a light of recognition. "Oh, shit! You're fucking Leon!" And then he smiled, giving her an up-close and personal view of his jagged teeth. "I can't believe it! I fucking caught Soren's favorite slave! The president's gonna reward me immisley for this!"

"I believe you mean
immensely
." She couldn't resist.