Bunches (11 page)

The incident, if you can call it
that, at the bar with the bouncers and Nora sobers me. I thought I was sure
that the protectiveness I felt for her just stemmed from our shared history,
but when I stop to really think about it I have to admit to myself that there’s
more to it. I need to talk to her. How can someone I’ve barely spoken with
consume such a place in my heart and my mind?

It’s three in the morning and I
can’t sleep. Jessie has spent another night at her place because she doesn’t
like it when I come home late and wake her up, which means it’s just me and
Anabella. The cat is happily curled on my lap as I stare out the window. She
purrs loudly as I stroke her absently.

I’m wondering just how long it’s
going to take to fall asleep when my phone buzzes. Three a.m. calls, even for a
bar owner, are never good.

I groan when I see that it’s
Sylvan’s number. Normally when Sylvan calls it’s a good thing, but not at this
time of night.

“Hey,” he says. His voice is
gruff and alert. He’s on patrol. “Sorry to wake you up, except that it doesn’t
sound like you were asleep.”

“What happened?” I ask, already
panicking.

“Nothing major, just a little
minor vandalism to your windows,” says Sylvan, “but I thought you’d want to
come and check it out.”

“I’m on my way,” I say. Carefully
I transfer Anabella so that she has the chair to herself.  She curls up, but
the purring has stopped, and a pair of yellow eyes is glaring at me. I hastily
put on my shoes and hurry downstairs, hop in my truck, and drive as fast as I
dare in the empty streets to the Remember.

When I get there, Sylvan is
waiting for me. He’s alone. This isn’t the first time this has happened. The
other two times, both in the last six months, we made a bigger deal about it
and the next vandalism was worse. Now he’s just casually resting against his
squad car.

He waves a hand at my windows.
There’s some black spray paint on them in a graphic design. Sylvan shakes his
head. “You should be able to wash that off. I’m going to take a drive around
the bloc, then let’s get coffee.”

“You already got pictures of it?”
I say, taking out my phone and taking pictures of my own. I want to get this
cleaned up before anyone sees it, especially kids, but I don’t want to erase
evidence.

“Yeah, a lot,” he says, moving
his burly frame away from his car. “I already sent them in.”

I take out my keys and Sylvan
drives away. An hour later he’s back, and the windows are clean.

“Good as new,” says Sylvan as he
rolls down his window. “Now, what’s open for coffee?”

We both already know the answer:
our favorite diner is open all night, and that’s where we’ll go. I hop into his
car, and it only takes us a few minutes to get over there.

When we’re seated Sylvan says,
“You gotta do something about those guys over at the Black Jack.”

I glance around, but the place is
empty, so I just shrug.

“What do you want me to do?
Retaliate?” I ask harshly. “Not who I am and not what my grandfather stood
for.”

I can see in his eyes that Sylvan
understands me.

“I’m sorry we haven’t put a stop
to it,” he says quietly.

“I know you are,” I say. And I
mean it. “Now, let’s talk about something else.”

Sylvan looks thoughtful for a
second, then breaks into a grin. “Who’s the girl?”

I choke on my coffee and his grin
only gets bigger. There’s a misconception about guys that we don’t talk to each
other about girls. It’s wrong.

I shrug, trying to appear
nonchalant. “What do you care? Aren’t you a confirmed bachelor?”

Sylvan is really more of a
confirmed player, but he tries to find women who feels the same way he does. He
doesn’t want anyone getting hurt.

“Just trying to keep up with my
friend,” he says. “I’d feel terrible if I were out of the loop.”

“As I’m sure Ben knew, which is
why he mentioned it to you,” I say dryly. Sylvan just chuckles.

“Her name’s Nora,” I say, when
Sylvan just waits.

When he still doesn’t say
anything, I look out the window. Sylvan knows about my mom. All of my close
friends do, but I’ve never talked about that night with anyone, because some
things are too important to lessen with mere words.

It’s time, though, so I tell
Sylvan now, and he listens quietly. I’m sure that as my best friend he can see
in my eyes and the tensing of my body how much of an impact that night had on
me.

“She just kept screaming,” I say
quietly. “Of course.” It was entirely understandable, but somehow, her mother’s
blaming me for Nora’s catatonic state for months afterward hurt.

“It was just easier than blaming
herself, or even worse, Nora,” says Sylvan. “You were a hero.”

I laugh bitterly. “Always there
just too late to save anyone.” Sylvan knew I wasn’t just talking about Michael.

“So, she comes into the bar?”
Sylvan asks. “Have I seen her?”

“She’s been there when you were,”
I say. “She’s worn black.”

Sylvan nods. “Sat on the end?
With her gorgeous friend?”

Now it’s my turn to chuckle.
“Yeah. Pretty sure her friend has a boyfriend.”

“For now,” says Sylvan
mischievously. “If I were dating a girl that looked like she does, there’s no
way I would leave her alone for the summer. Do you have plans to see them
again?”

“I told them to come into the
Remember,” I say. I’m not willing to admit how much it bothers me that I don’t
have plans to see her again.

Just then I hear the doorbell
jingle and for some reason I turn. There, at like five in the morning, is Nora.

I can’t sleep. I don’t want to
walk around by myself in the dark, because even if we live in a safe
neighborhood, it only takes one crazy person for something unforgivable to
happen. By the time the sun is coming up I’ve accepted that I’m not going to
get back to sleep, and I decide to go in search of coffee.

The diner everyone talks about
isn’t far from my place, or from the Remember, so I throw on jeans and a hoodie
and head there. It’s a cute little place and looks practically deserted.
There’s just a cop car out front. I head inside and instantly see a familiar
set of broad shoulders sitting in the corner.

JJ is sitting across from an
incredibly good-looking guy in uniform. He has close-cropped hair and blue eyes
that I can see sparkling from here. Our eyes meet just as I see JJ’s torso
twist and a set of intense gray eyes meet my confused ones. I look down just in
time for the waitress to come over and say, “Sit anywhere you like.” She gives
me a smile and I nod at her. JJ is gesturing to me, inviting me to join him and
his friend.

I hesitate, but there’s really no
way to get out of it. My nerves start to tingle, but I’m not sure if it’s from
jitteriness or attraction.

“Morning,” says JJ, grinning up
at me. “For the record, I like to be stalked after eleven a.m. I like to be
alert and awake to my fans.” The guy sitting across from him groans into his
coffee cup, but I know JJ is just trying to make me laugh.

He’s leaning his elbows on the
table, while his friend sits forward as I walk up. When I don’t respond he
says, “Fancy running into you again.”

“I guess this is a smaller town
than I thought,” I say.

JJ stands up and grabs a chair
from the next table, placing it so that I’m sitting between him and the cop.

“This is my friend Sylvan,” says
JJ, waving his hand at the other guy. “We go way back.”

His friend reaches out a large
hand for me to shake. His palm is warm and his grip is strong. I see a tattoo
snaking up his arm, disappearing into his sleeve, which surprises me given that
he’s a cop.

Sylvan grins and his eyes sparkle
brighter. “I can tell you stories about this guy,” he says, “if you ever want
to hear them.”  Sylvan has a nice smile and I can see he’s the sort of guy
who’s used to having girls melt when he uses it on them.

I smile back and say, “I always
like hearing embarrassing stories about my friends.”

JJ’s eyes look just a tiny bit
surprised, and I realize that despite the number of times I’ve run into him
this weekend, saying we’re friends might be a little presumptuous. I shrink
into myself a little.

“As long as you want to hear
stories about me, I don’t care what they are,” he says. Again with the joking,
but somewhere there’s an undercurrent of truth. Or is that my wishful thinking?

“What can I get you, honey?” The
waitress has come over and is tapping her pencil on her pad, waiting for my
order.

“Just coffee,” I say, feeling
nervous as hell.  

“A wee thing like you needs more
than coffee,” she says, eyeing me with disapproval, but then she shrugs and
looks at Sylvan and JJ. “You two good?” They’re obviously regulars.

“Yeah,” says Sylvan, taking
another sip of coffee. “My break is almost over.”

Which means that once again it’s
just going to be me and JJ. Who needs a class when I serendipitously keep
ending up alone with him?

“So,” says Sylvan when the
waitress leaves. “You’re here for the summer?”

I guess JJ’s been talking about
me. I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not, but Sylvan seems friendly and
warm and I like him. I don’t get the same comforting feeling I get when I look
at JJ, but he’s nice.

“Yes,” I say. “It’s great. I like
it. I’m a junior in college and this is my first summer away from home.”

When the waitress brings my
coffee, I busy myself pouring piles of milk and sugar into it while Sylvan and
JJ discuss the merits of summers in Portland.

While they talk, I study JJ’s
profile. He’s animated when he talks, using his hands for emphasis. They’re the
same hands I like looking at while he’s doing his work as a bartender. Strong
and assured. He doesn’t even have to think about it.

“There are a lot of good places
to go around here,” Sylvan assures me.

“But the best place is the
Remember,” I say with a grin.

Both guys smile back at me.
“Obviously,” says JJ. “Glad you have your bars straight.”

I take a tentative sip of the hot
liquid. This isn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

When my eyes meet JJ’s again I
start to tremble, but this time I don’t think it’s from nerves. I feel the
blush coming up my cheeks and reach out to grab the sugar, just as a
distraction. What is wrong with me?

When I look up again Sylvan is
gazing at me thoughtfully.

“I should be getting back,” he
says. “Will you be alright?” he asks JJ. Turning to me to explain, he says, “I
gave him a ride here.”

“Sure,” says JJ. “I’ll walk Nora
home and then just head to work.”

More tingling.

Sylvan nods.

“Nora, it was nice to meet you,”
he says, stretching. “I’m sure I’ll see you at the Remember soon enough.” With
that, he waves to the waitress and heads out.

Once Sylvan is gone, JJ turns his
full attention toward me and I feel my insides churn. I desperately don’t want
him to bring up our shared dark history.

To my great relief, he doesn’t.
He leans forward, braces his elbows on the table with his hands tucked into the
crooks of his arms, and says, “Your friends are awesome. Noah’s hilarious.”

I find myself grinning. “Right?
He just decided we were going to be friends and now we are. Pity he isn’t
twenty-one.”

JJ’s eyes sparkle. “Yeah, we get
in a lot of trouble for serving underage kids. Fake ids used to drive my
grandfather crazy.”

“I’m sure,” I murmur.

“I should talk to Noah,” says JJ
thoughtfully. “Rumor has it that his grandmother and my grandfather used to
date, before she broke his heart.”

“No way,” I gape at him. “Your
poor grandfather.”

JJ chuckles. “Guys get their
hearts broken all the time.”

I give him my best skeptical
look. “It seems like the other way around to me. The guys are the ones who dump
the girls for someone prettier or more fun, or they just cheat on them.”

JJ’s expression turns serious.
“Not all guys cheat. Some guys do realize when they have a good thing, and they
hold onto it like crazy. Or they’re upfront about their shitty behavior, so the
girl doesn’t misunderstand. There are good guys.”

His eyes are locked on mine and I
realize I’m breathless. A part of me, a tiny part that’s been growing since I
first saw him at the bar, hopes that he’s not talking about his girlfriend
right now.

Confused, I look away. “Sure.” If
I speak any more quietly I’ll need a microphone so he can hear me.

“You don’t believe me,” he says,
sitting back and rolling his shoulders. “You’re one of those girls who think
all guys are awful.”

I mumble something inaudible in
reply.

“We aren’t,” he says. “We want to
find love just like you do.”

“My friends think bartenders are
trouble,” I say, without thinking.

His eyes only sparkle more. “Some
bartenders are trouble, but then again, some lawyers are trouble and some doctors
are trouble. You have to look at the individual. Would you want someone to look
at you like you’re trouble just because, say, you’re from Boston?”

I gape at him. “That’s not the
same thing.”

“Sure it is,” he says, shrugging.
“You meet the person, you get to know them. Before that you have no right to
judge. I’ve never had a one-night stand with a girl. I’ve never used a girl’s
number when she’s given it to me at the bar, and I’ve never cheated on a
girlfriend. Do I get a lot of girls throwing themselves at me? Sure. Have I had
more than my share of partners? Probably, but that doesn’t mean I’ll hurt you.”

His eyes widen as if he hadn’t
meant to say that last bit. He takes a big swig of coffee.

“Want any more, hon?” The
waitress is back, and I realize that in the heat of our conversation I’ve
emptied my mug.

“Um, no thanks,” I say. “I should
probably be getting back.”

JJ glances at his mug, which is
also empty. He throws money down on the table for both our coffees before I can
stop him. “I’ll walk you,” he says.

“No, that won’t be necessary,” I
say. “I know the way.”

JJ smirks “Of course you do.
That’s not why I offered. I offered because I like being around you.”

His admission threatens to knock
me silly, but I can’t say it back.

“Really, I’m fine,” I say.

“Let the man walk you. Sheesh,”
says the waitress, shaking her head at me.

I blush as JJ chuckles. “If Patty
says I walk you then I walk you.”

“I bet she’s related to Noah’s
grandmother,” I mutter, but I let him lead me out of the diner. Patty is standing
there watching us, her fists braced on her hips.

“Cousins, actually,” says JJ,
laughing harder. He’s enjoying this and he’s barely teased me. Warmth spreads
through my insides.

Once we’re in the fresh morning
air I take a deep breath and turn my face up to the sun. It feels wonderful.
When I open my eyes I see that JJ is watching me with the strangest look in his
eyes.

“What do you smell?” he asks.

I look around wildly for a
second, then force myself to calm down. I hate being put on the spot, but that’s
not what he’s doing. I take a deep breath.

“The sea, obviously,” I say. “The
sun heating the morning pavement. It’s fresh and clean and probably smells
wonderful right after it rains. Umm, flowers, and a hint of mowed grass.
There’s something about the morning. Even when it’s hot it’s crisp, and with
the sun shining like this. . . .” I trail off. “Well, you asked,” I grumble.

JJ nods. “I sure did.” He sticks
his hands in his pockets and we walk in silence for a few minutes, enjoying not
only the smells but the sounds of the summer morning. It’s still early, and
although there are people in suits heading to work, it’s pretty quiet.

I pretend to stare at the ground
as we walk, but really I’m studying JJ’s profile. He has strong features, a
square jaw and a straight nose. Every girl we pass checks him out, some even
glance at me to see who he’s with.

We’re almost to my apartment,
talking about the differences between TV shows that are on in the summer versus
all the ones that start in the fall, when two women in suit skirts and blouses
rush up to us. They’re both very pretty, and I recognize one as the girl in red
who spilled wine on me. Mason or something.

“Hi, JJ,” she says, smiling
broadly.

“Hey,” he greets her politely. I
realize he must run into girls he sees at the Remember all the time.

The girl glances at me. She
obviously doesn’t remember the wine incident, which is for the best, and she
also wishes I was at the bottom of a deep pit with dirt being thrown on me with
a metal shovel.

“How are you?” she asks.

“Good,” says JJ, nodding.

“My apartment is right there.
I’ll catch you later,” I say, waving awkwardly, and before either of them can
say anything else to me, I dart away.

When I get home, I bolt the door
behind me and wish I could do the same with my heart.