Captured Miracle (22 page)

“Because being with me feels good.” He said simply. Despite the ease of his answer, his reply was anything but simple. It was so freaking complex, thinking of it almost hurt my head.

“Being with you might feel good to my body, but every time I think of how good you feel against me - I’m consumed by guilt.”

“Why do you feel guilty?” He ground out the words. I knew he was growing frustrated, but I didn’t know what else to tell him. I was being honest. “You have nothing to feel guilty for.”

“I’m with you - so close to pleasure - while my family is terrified about what I might be going through. Do you understand what that knowledge is doing to me? It’s torturing me.”

“I told you I would let you contact them as soon as the marriage has been finalized.”

“That’s a week away!” I moaned. Why couldn’t he understand how difficult this was for me?

A coy grin turned the corners of his lips up. “So eager to marry me, huh?”

I felt my heart throb. “You’re joking about this?”

The play in his eyes dissipated. “No, Nova,” he shook his head. “I’m not.”

I closed my eyes, trying to blink away my frustration with him. “Sometimes, I don’t know what to say to you.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” he paused. “If you allow me to do anything to you - right now - without stopping me, I’ll consider allowing you to email your mother.”

My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, I felt certain it was moments from ripping me wide open beneath him. “I’m not - I’m not ready for sex.”

“I won’t penetrate you unless you ask me.” He compromised.

Slowly, I nodded. There was a part of me that felt as though I was sentencing myself to a life in the fiery pits of Hell for this - while the other part of me fluttered in anticipation for the heaven my body would surely soon find. I wished I could tell myself I was agreeing to this for the sole purpose of contacting my family - but I wasn’t. I was agreeing to this because no matter the guilt that thrived within my soul - I wanted him.

“Why?” I whispered. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because,” Calix hooked his hand around my thigh, lifting my leg over his backside as he moved to position himself snug against me. My entire body was thrumming with anticipation and trepidation. “I’ve wanted to possess you for years. This is the only way I know how to make you want me - like I want you.”

That was the most intimate and honest answer I had received from Calix yet. And I was having a difficult time processing it because of his consuming body pressing against mine.

Calix shifted, moving his hand between my legs. I was spread wide for him. Unable to close my legs with his large body between them, I was helpless against his touch. Slowly, he parted my pussy-lips before guiding his cock into my wetness. Feeling him move himself slowly over the length of my moist private area was hot. I was so wet for him that I could hear his movement against me.

He pulled his hips back, sliding his shaft against my clit before shifting back down. He repeated this motion against me until I felt as though I were about to explode with want. My nails dug into the skin of his back as I pressed him deeper into me - loving the feeling of his chest crushing against mine. His hips rocked against mine over and over again, but not once did he attempt to slide inside me.

“You’re seducing me,” I gasped the accusation half-heartedly.

He pulled his hips back again before sinking down, searing me with his hot flesh. I moaned against his lips and he replied. “I’m seducing your body because I’m not worthy of your heart - but worthy or not - if you give me the chance, I’ll steal it.”

At the gravelly emotion in the undertones of his words, I felt my eyes mist with tears. His response was completely fucked up and I wanted to make him believe, even though he was a monster, that he was worthy of my heart.

Before I could speak, Calix’s voice consumed the breathy silence. “But I know you, Nova. And I know that with enough persistence, I’ll have you right where I want you. If I seduce your body, your body will seduce your heart.”

God...could he be right?

The thought was short-lived as I said with conviction. “You are worth it, Calix.”

I wrapped both legs around his lean waist, lifting my hips to meet him thrust for thrust. I knew I shouldn’t be reacting this way to him - so brazenly - but I didn’t care. My mind and my body were so far apart - they didn’t even seem to exist in the same galaxy.

Pleasure exploded through my body as Calix moaned, crushing his mouth to mine. His tongue swirled around mine, licking and sucking as though determined to fuck me somehow. I had never done anything so blissfully erotic. But feeling Calix rub against me this way - I couldn’t help but want more. I wanted him inside me. I wanted him to consume me - to own me - to possess me.

And then I realized I was in love with him.

I was in love with my captor.

Chapter 21

Sometimes the darkest of hearts are the most blinding. Not because of their light, but because of their suffocating endlessness. The dark abyss of their possession claims you before you’re even aware of the capture.

It was too much. Every sense was strung high. My body and heart and mind had crashed in one massive, catastrophic collision. It was devastating. I’d been frantically trying to get my emotions all on one page - but now that they were - I was helpless against his seductions.

I was in love with Calix.

I could handle my bodily desire for him as my mind fought to reject him. I could handle the seduction of my senses and the play for my desire. But now that my heart was a pawn in his game - I didn’t think I could handle that. The loss would be overwhelming.

I needed to process this. I needed to get away from him. I needed time.

“Calix,” I stiffened beneath him, but he continued his seduction of my senses. It didn’t take long for my body to meet his once again, my desire winning out over the need to process my sudden feelings for my captor.

He caught my chin in his hand, guiding my mouth to his. “Let me in, love.”

His plea almost got me - almost. Damn, I wanted him inside me. I wanted to feel him owning me. But that was wrong. Somehow, somewhere in my being I knew that was wrong. I needed to figure out where my heart stood before I made any permanent decisions - like letting Calix inside me.

Until I was certain I was capable of weathering the consequences of loving him - I needed to take a step back. I needed to consider this. For my heart. For my soul.

“No,” I flattened my palms against his shoulders, pushing. “Stop!” The trembling that took over my body wasn’t conscious. It was panic in its purest, finest expression. It infected my blood and ripped through my system like disease. “Calix,”

Confusion pooled into the magnificent depths of his eyes as he stared down into my face. “What’s wrong?” He caught my face in his hands as I started to shake. “Shhh,”

“Calix, I need you to get up.” I pleaded through shaking tones. I could see he wanted to argue, but thankfully he didn’t.

Instead, he pulled me up into his arms. As though in a desperate attempt to comfort me, he pulled the top-sheet around my body. Cradling me in his arms, he rocked me slowly. Pressing tiny kisses all over my face, he cooed. “It’s okay, love. Everything’s okay.”

Through body-wracking breaths, I asked. “Can I please email my mom now?”

Calix stiffened beneath me. “No.”

“But,” I gasped. At a loss for what to say, I pulled myself from his arms. Surprisingly, he let me go. “You said if I,”

Calix cut me off. “I said if you allowed me to do anything I wanted. You didn’t. You stopped me before I was even getting started.”

“You promised,” I pleaded, pushing myself from the bed I stood with the sheet wrapped tightly around my body. “Please can I just,”

“I said no.”

“Why?” I demanded. My stomach felt so twisted up with nerves and confused feelings, I felt sick. “Why won’t you allow me to put their minds at ease?”

“Because I can’t!” Calix yelled and I flinched. He never yelled at me. I’d gotten him angry. Actually, I’d gotten him rip-roaring-mad.

Softly, I begged. “Why? Please tell me why I can’t contact them. Help me understand.”

“Do you love me, Nova?” Calix asked bluntly. His eyes were unmoving on my face, piercing my heart.

My mouth dropped. I’d only just realized the extent of my feelings for him. I couldn’t possibly admit such a thing to him - not now. Not yet. I had to analyze it first.
I needed time
.

I spoke quietly. “It’s been four days, Calix.”

It wasn’t exactly an answer to his question. It was more of an evasion - and he was usually so good and deciphering those. But rather than spot it for what it was, I watched his heart shatter.

Gruffly, he replied. “I know how long it’s been, Nova.”

His eyes pierced mine and I ached to retract my words. But he wouldn’t believe them now. If I were to tell him the truth - that I loved him - he would think they were spoken out of pity or manipulation. I couldn’t risk that. Instead, I said. “Will you please trust me enough to contact my mom?”

He sighed heavily. “It’s not you I don’t trust, love.”

“Then who?” I asked desperately. “Who don’t you trust?”

There was a long pause, and then he spoke. “Your father.”

I stiffened. Feeling my body grow numb, I tried to process his words. I couldn’t. “My father?”

“Yes, your father.”

I sputtered. “I barely know the man. He works in the army and rarely comes home. We’re lucky if we see him twice a year.”

Calix pursed his lips and when he spoke his eyes were hard. “Your father is a Navy SEAL.”

I blinked. “No, he isn’t.”

“Yes, he is.”

I shook my head. “Well, obviously I don’t know the man at all.” My mind was reeling with this new information. Why would my father have kept this from his family - if it were even true? “Regardless,” I sighed. “What does my father have to do with my contacting my mom?” I added as an afterthought. “I doubt he even knows I’m missing.”

Calix chuckled. “He knows, Nova.”

The way he spoke with such certainty made me tremble inside. “Why do you say that?”

“Because your father is the reason I took you.” I watched numbly as he lifted himself from the bed. He crossed the floor to stand directly in front of me and when he brought his hand to my face to cup my cheek, I didn’t pull away from him. Then, he slid his hand to cup the back of my neck, tilting my face up to meet his. “I just never expected to want you like this - so uncontrollably.”

His words were a tingle in the pit of my stomach. “How is my father the reason for you abducting me?”

“Revenge, Nova.”

He spoke so simply. I felt like I should understand, but I didn’t. This didn’t make any sense.

“You abducted me to take revenge on my father. For what?” I asked dumbly. I was stunned. How could this have happened? And to me!

How could the man I’m in love with be using me for revenge? It just - I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. My heart throbbed and my palms sweat but I couldn’t seem to move away from him.

“Why, Calix?” I asked again. “What did my father do to make you do this to me?”

Calix’s blue eyes hardened to ebony orbs. “Your father murdered my parents.”

Ice filled my veins as I tried to comprehend his words. No. No, it couldn’t be possible. My father would never
murder
someone. Surly he had the wrong person. Surely this was a mistake. He had to be wrong. He just had to be.

My eyes flickered up to meet Calix’s and at the cemented pain in them I felt my world crashing down around me. My head throbbed and my vision blurred as dizziness claimed me. And then my world turned black.

Authors Note

I wanted to take a moment to thank you - the reader - for getting to this very last page of my novel. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, want you to know how much this means to me. My dream of being a writer (and I say writer over author for a reason) would not be even remotely possible without you. So, thank you times a billion! There is a lot of who I am in my novels. When I look back at the heroine, I see a lot of myself in the characters I create. From Enraptured to Shaded I see myself. So, I hope you like who you’re reading - because I put a lot of myself in my novels. When reading, you get to know a lot about me (and I’m not really a sharing kind of person) - literally. If you have read Enraptured - Dace’s nagging on Ella to share her food and drinks with him is totally me...and practically everyone who enters into my life pressures me to get over that quirk, just as Dace does to Ella. I really dislike sharing! And after watching Paranormal Activity (Also from Enraptured) I did exactly what Dace did to Ella. Yes, I pulled my sister from her bed - by her ankles! (I’m mean - but I just love playing pranks!) And Nova’s blueberries with milk and brown sugar - totally my breakfast of choice! I could go on and on about the pieces of myself I give to you all in my novels, but I won’t. (Yes, I’m taking pity on you!)

Mainly, I just want you to know that I put my heart and soul into writing and creating something captivating. Romance is what I live for and writing is a way to share my love of romance with the world. So, thank you for the love! I hope I’ve given you a little taste of what you’re looking for in my novels. I hope I’ve captured a piece of your heart.

Other Books by Alannah Carbonneau

Adult Romance

Enraptured

Enthralled

All Good Things

All Good Things Exposed

All Good Things Absolved

Broken Beginnings

Young Adult Romance

Shaded

Luminous (Shaded Part Two)

Spellbound (Shaded Part Three)

The Gateway Sin

The Second Circle (The Gateway Sin #2)

The Angel’s Virtue (The Gateway Sin #3)

The Curse of Bound Blood

Blood Red Roses (The Curse of Bound Blood #2)

If anyone wants to contact me you can get me at my blog
www.alannahcarbonneau.com

Twitter
@Alannahbooks

Facebook
Alannah Carbonneau