Cartography for Beginners (41 page)

"Tell me you like this," Leo whispered, his breath hot across Stuart's ear. His body rocked with Stuart's, forward every time Stuart pushed back. "Tell me this is what you want."

"I love it," Stuart groaned, tilting back his head so he could kiss Leo's mouth. "You're everything I want."

Leo chuckled. "Careful. A guy could get to like hearing that." He twisted his fingers to make Stuart shudder, and then pulled away, withdrawing his fingers. Stuart moved onto his back to watch Leo unroll a condom onto his cock, and Leo met his gaze. "Ready?"

In answer Stuart grabbed Leo and hauled him close, legs going around Leo's slender hips. Leo kissed him with a soft moan, and he gazed down at Stuart's face as he gave the first careful push into Stuart's body.

It had been years --
years
-- since Stuart had trusted someone enough to bottom for them, but he had trusted Leo before and trusted him no less now. Stuart would trust him with anything -- his body, his soul, his heart. That trust was well-placed, from Leo's gentle rhythm to the way he kissed Stuart, hand framing Stuart's face, as they fucked.

Finally his hand wrapped around Stuart's cock -- heaven, tight slick fingers stroking with a determined rhythm, tight and knowing and strong. Leo's hips drove deeper and harder into him, until Stuart threw back his head and grabbed Leo's hair, shouted and came.

Leo clasped his arms around Stuart's chest and buried his head in Stuart's neck, gasping as he thrust faster, deeper. Stuart kissed his face and stroked his back. When Leo finished, breathing hard, eyes enormous, trembling, Stuart held his face and kissed him.

"Oh, wow," Leo breathed, looking at Stuart with astonished eyes. "Wow, Stuart. Sweetheart."

"I'm your sweetheart," Stuart said, smiling at him.

"You're my everything." He rubbed their faces together and kissed Stuart over and over, and Stuart returned them again and again.

***

There were eight thin lines of broken skin on either side of Leo's back, one or two deep enough to draw a bead or two of blood. After they washed up, Stuart had Leo bend over of the sink, with a soft, "This might sting," before dabbing the scratches with a soapy washcloth. Leo hissed between his teeth but didn't move, though he felt goose pimples rise on his skin from the cold water cascading down his spine.

He shivered and Stuart kissed him between his shoulders. "Almost done."

"It's not that." He looked up and met Stuart's eyes in the mirror. Stuart smiled and ran a hand over Leo's chest, down to his belly, and then pulled Leo close.

"Is that better?"

"Yes," Leo said and closed his eyes as Stuart warmed him with slowly rubbing palms.

"I want to put some bandages on your back," Stuart said eventually and kissed his neck, and then stepped back to finish tending to his scratches.

"Thank you," Leo said.

"Don't thank me, I put them there." He put a bandage over a scratch on one side, and then two on the other. "There you go. Usually I'm much better about keeping my nails trimmed. I suppose I've been too preoccupied lately."

"Can't imagine why." Leo turned and kissed Stuart, arms going around his neck.

"It's a wonder I remember to shave," Stuart whispered as they kissed. "Let's go back to bed." He turned Leo with an arm around his waist and guided him to bed. Leo climbed in gladly and curled himself around Stuart the moment they both were under the duvet. Stuart stroked his hair, letting his fingers play through the curly bits.

Stuart murmured, "I wish we could stay home tomorrow and spend the day in bed."

"I don't think that would go over well with your children."

"I don't think so, either. Not to mention you coming all this way to attend the wedding."

"I came all this way," Leo said, "to be your support and figure out if I loved you or not. Mission accomplished on both fronts, I'd say."

"You've been very supportive," Stuart said in his usual dry tone. Leo slanted a look at him, and then pounced on him and kissed him fiercely. They both started laughing and it felt good, to laugh and kiss and keep kissing. "And you love me," Stuart whispered at some point. "I can think of no better reason to travel so far."

"Neither can I."

Stuart was quiet a while, so Leo kissed him lightly and nuzzled his face, letting him think. "It's going to be hard, isn't it?" he said softly. "You and I being so far apart."

"Yes," Leo said. "But it won't be for long."

"But what if I--" Stuart cut himself off.

"What if you... what?" Leo propped his head on his hand. "Lapse? Meet some gorgeous young thing and can't resist him? Get bored of me?"

"Yes," Stuart said. "No. Worse. I won't get bored of you, I know that. But what if you do get tired of me? What if you outgrow me?"

"Won't happen," Leo said and kissed him. "I'm done growing."

"It's happened before."

"Joelle and Jamie were kids when you met them," Leo said. "I'm not a kid. I haven't been for a long time." Stuart touched his face, and Leo pressed Stuart's palm to his mouth. "At this point in our lives, it's a matter of growing together if there's any growing to be done."

Stuart smoothed his thumb over Leo's lower lip. "I love you so much," he said softly. "It frightens me."

"That's why you've avoided it for so long, isn't it?" Leo said. "Fourteen years to move on from Joelle, nine years to move on from Jamie..."

"It wasn't that I needed to move on from Joelle," said Stuart. "I was enjoying my freedom. Jamie wasn't supposed to be anything more than another one-night stand. But he was so talented and so
him
, I couldn't resist."

"You fell in love with his talent, too," Leo said.

"Yes." He sighed and rolled onto his other side, facing away from Leo. Leo laid his cheek on Stuart's back.

"My talents aren't a temptation to you," he said, and felt Stuart chuckle. Stuart took his hand and held it to his chest.

"Your talents are marvelous. I wish I could have seen you in a play."

"I wasn't that good of an actor," Leo said. "You didn't miss anything special."

"Still," Stuart said, "I would have liked to see you. But any time you want, you can tell me stories or play piano or introduce me to more obscure but good music."

"I will do all three whenever you like." He kissed Stuart's shoulder. "It's late. We should probably sleep."

"Good night, Leo."

"Good night, sweetheart."

"Sweetheart," Stuart murmured, smiling. "I'm so glad you'll be with me tomorrow."

"I'll always be with you when you need me," said Leo and kissed Stuart's back a few times before he closed his eyes.

***

Tallis made a beautiful and stylish bride, as Leo expected. She wore a vintage cocktail dress made entirely of lace, a pearl necklace and earrings, and a matching lace headband on her short dark hair. Her bridesmaids -- Amelie, Nicole, and her two best friends -- wore similar dresses in dark red, orange, yellow, and deep blue, and their bouquets were artful collections of late summer flowers.

Jean-Claude and his groomsmen were dressed in the same general style -- summer-weight vintage suits in light brown, with cream-colored shirts and ties in the same strong colors as the bridesmaids' dresses. Their boutonnieres were tiny replicas of the women's bouquets.

The classic look suited them both, with Tallis' gamine face and Jean-Claude's square jawline and broad shoulders. They were terribly serious during the civil ceremony, handing over papers and signing their names, though every time their eyes met they both smiled like it was all a wonderful joke.

The church ceremony was more relaxed and personal. Friends read poetry (which Stuart translated into Leo's ear) or sang songs (there was no mistaking "In My Life" no matter what the language), and the priest told a story about finding Jean-Claude and Tallis taking shelter from the rain in the church when they were no more than eight or nine. Stuart translated that, too, with a melancholy expression that Leo suspected had to do with not knowing this story already, as Joelle and Jean-Claude's sisters obviously did, given the way they smiled in anticipation.

Leo took Stuart's hand then, letting their fingers weave together loosely. Stuart ran his thumb over the inside of Leo's wrist and smiled at him, and then leaned closer to continue translating the rest of the ceremony.

Once the ceremony was over -- Jean-Claude pumped his fist in triumph as he and Tallis walked up the aisle -- the entire wedding party met in the church garden for drinks. There was already a band playing, and a few people dancing, their glasses in their hands. The weather was perfect, clear skies overhead and cool breezes carrying the scent of lavender even in the heart of the town. Leo took Stuart's hand as they drank, humming to himself as he listened to the band and to people talking around him.

"What's this song?" said Micah, frowning at the band. "I know this song, but I don't know how I know it."

"'La Vie En Rose,'" said Stuart, and smiled when Leo looked at him with surprise. "What? I know the classics."

"I still don't know how I know it," Micah said.

"Any Hollywood movie that's set in France uses it," Leo said. "You've probably heard the Louis Armstrong version."

"He's the jazz guy with the rough voice?"

Leo sighed, feeling old again. "Yes. The jazz guy with the rough voice. Or Edith Piaf. She does not have a rough voice."

Stuart chuckled and began to sing along in French, and removed his hand from Leo's so he could slide it across Leo's back. His voice was mellow and tuneful, no surprise given the smooth texture of his speaking voice, and even though Leo didn't know the exact words the meaning was clear -- days full of happiness, nights full of passion, love making life worth living.

"I had no idea you could be so sentimental," Dune said.

"I am awash in sentimentality today," Stuart replied and smiled at Leo. "My son is married, I love your father -- life is quite pink, indeed."

Dune looked at Leo, his eyebrows raised, and Leo beamed back. "Pink," he agreed. "Very pink."

"I feel like the two of you are speaking your own language," Dune said.

"How do you say 'I love you' in French?" Leo asked Stuart.

"You say, '
Je t'aime, Stuart
.'"

"Oh?" Leo said, starting to smile. "You always say 'Stuart,' too?"

"You are only allowed to say
Je t'aime
to me," said Stuart, and then they fell against each other, laughing.

"
Je t'aime
, Stuart," Leo said. "
Je t'aime
."

"I guess it's a done deal then, huh?" Dune said. His arms wrapped around his waist, his wine glass dangling from his fingers. "You two are together."

"Yes, my son." He kept his arm around Stuart and put the other around Dune. "It is a done deal."

"I'm glad, Daddy," Dune said and kissed his cheek. He kissed Stuart's too, getting a slightly surprised look from Stuart, and then he and Micah ambled off to join Jamie and Ben.

Stuart leaned his head against Leo's. "If I didn't have that toast to give, we could go home now."

"We don't have to stay long," Leo said and touched Stuart's chest, letting his fingers linger over the fine weave of his dress shirt. "I doubt I'll be able to stay awake for long after midnight."

"I want to dance with you," Stuart said. "At least one song."

Leo nodded. "Definitely. When does the toast happen?"

"Tonight, at the supper." Amelie came out of the church and scanned the crowed. Stuart waved to her. She crossed the garden to join them, and Stuart kissed her hair. "What's up, my darling?"

"It's time to take pictures."

"Well, go on, then, dear. Don't let me hold you."

"You're a parent," Amelie said. "You're to be in the pictures, too. I was sent to fetch you."

"Oh," Stuart said, surprised again, and he looked at Leo.

"Go on," Leo said. "I'll see you later."

Stuart squeezed his fingers quickly, and then went off with Amelie. Leo had a sip of his cocktail -- a mojito supplemented with basil and strawberries -- and looked around for some familiar faces. This, he supposed, would be the problem with uprooting himself and moving to a new country. He'd have to make new friends, maybe even learn a new language. He couldn't expect Stuart to be his translator all the time.

He joined the boys, and Jamie put an arm around his waist. "What's that look for?"

"This is the face of a man who's realized he's going to entirely change his life for love." At their confused looks, he said, "I'll be moving to England, and here too, I suppose, once we figure out the legal side of things."

"It's not that frightening," Jamie said with a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be winning people over in no time."

Dune leaned his head on Leo's shoulder. "Are you okay?" Leo said quietly.

"I'm going to miss you. I don't want you to stay behind for my sake, but," he inhaled slowly, "I'm going to miss you. On the other hand, look at what you'll get in exchange. One of the greatest cities in the world, and for a month or so every year, paradise."

Leo looked at each of their faces -- handsome Ben with his arms around Jamie, Micah holding Dune and sharing his drink -- and said, "Lucky and blessed, each and every one of us." The boys all smiled -- with embarrassment in Ben's case, shyly and sweetly in Micah's -- and Leo said, "I need to find him again, I think. Excuse me." He went into the church.

At the end of the church, the bridal party was still gathered in front of the altar, just the bridesmaids and groomsmen at this point. Stuart was in the pews with the other parents. Leo hung back, not wanting to disturb them, and then frowned when he saw that Noel was at Stuart's side, and seemed to be whispering earnestly to him as they waited.

At least the look Stuart gave Noel in return was more dismissive than interested, and he was giving Noel one of those looks when he happened to glance at the back of the church and saw Leo. He smiled and left the pew, came up the aisle of the little church, and took Leo's face in his hands for a hearty kiss.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," Leo whispered.