Chasing Love & Rainbows (7 page)

She said with a smirk, “Who the fuck you been fucking?”

“No one,” I said. 

“No one with all those damn hickies on your neck,” she pointed out.

“I don't have hickies on my neck,” I said defensively.  I made my way over to the mirror and there they were just as plain as day.

“Shit,” I said. 

“That’s all you got to say is shit,” she asked.  I took a deep breath and faced her.

“Ok I was in the VIP room,” I admitted.  

She then yelled, “What!  Since when did you start going in there?  Are you holding back on me Black?”

“No” I said, “It was this one time only.” 

I looked at my neck again and tried to get out of this questioning.  “You fucked someone in the VIP room Black!  You are a whore,” she said with loud laughter.   I protested, “I am not a whore, and it wasn’t just anybody ok.  It was a special request, and Jones was on my ass about it because he was getting a big cut and so was I.”

“Well inquiring minds want to know,” she said.   I was wondering if I should tell her about Link, I know she’s my girl but some bitches you have to look out for.  Should I risk that?  Oh what the hell.

“It was Link,” I said. 

“Link,” she gasped.   “Link…you fucked Link…Mr. Soft ass himself!  You fucked him!  You talk so much shit Black,” she exclaimed, and then continued, “I knew you were feeling him but damn, not to the point where you gave up the ass in the VIP room!  Oh you know I will never let you live this one down.”

I rolled my eyes at her as she continued to rant, “Don’t get mad because I’m telling the truth. You knew all along you wanted him.” I gave her an evil look to say enough with the questioning but she wouldn’t let up. She then asked, “So was it good?” This was the first time I smiled and actually wanted to talk about it.

“It was better than good,” I said.

“Ah shit now,” she said while moving her hips to the beat of Beyoncé’s “Baby Boy” that was playing in the club.

She asked, “So what’s next?” 

“Well I got all the numbers,” I said, “So we’ll see what’s up.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” she said and gave me a high five. “Whip it on his ass and get all the numbers, you’re a bad bitch for that,” she said.

“Tell me about it,” I said, “But I’m out. I have to go home to soak my sore pussy.  Link dusted the cobwebs from my shit.”

Cinnamon burst out laughing and said, “Girl you crazy but I feel you! Holler at me later.”  

I took my ass home to relax. I didn’t feel like being bothered with anything but a hot soak in the tub.  As I made it through the door I saw my sister and Marcus going at it as usual. Those two can’t keep their hands off each other and you would think that with all the fucking they do they would have a baby by now.

I casually strolled right by and said, “Don’t mind me,” and laughed when I saw my sister jump off of Marcus butt naked.

My sister exclaimed, “Porsche you scared the crap out of me!”

I kept walking up the stairs.  I know some people may think that it would be nasty when they catch their sister having sex with her man, but not me.  At first I was like, “they are so nasty,” but after a while I got used to it.  What gets me though is that every time I catch Paris she always think it’s a big deal.

I closed my bedroom door and took off my clothes. I went into the bathroom to begin running my bath water.  As soon as I turned around Paris was standing at my bathroom door.  She always does this shit. She likes to sneak up on you.

“Would you knock please next time? “I asked with my heart racing.

She was now in a bathrobe looking at me with a strange look on her face. I looked at her and tried to read her facial expression. I gave up and just had to ask why she was looking at me like that.

“What did I do,” I asked, “is something wrong?”  

She stood there and studied me for a minute and then said, “Who you been fucking?” 

My eyes got wide and I turned away from her.  Damn, how did she always seem to know when I’m doing dirt?  “What are you talking about,” I asked innocently. 

She was leaning against the door studying me again and made me uncomfortable at how she continued staring.  Finally she walked over to me and looked at my neck.   Damn, those hickie’s were a dead giveaway.   “So who is he,” she demanded. 

“Just a friend I met,” I replied innocently. 

“How long,” she asked.

“About um…three months now,” I said.

“Why you lying to me Porsche,” she asked.

“I’m not, Paris,” I said. She took a deep breath and looked straight into my eyes and asked, “How long have you been stripping?” 

Damn, I was so busted!  I knew she was about to get into my ass.  Then I asked her, “Who told you I was stripping?” 

“Don’t matter who told me Porsche. 
The question
is
you a stripper?” she asked.

“Yes,” I answered looking her straight in her eyes. My eyes told her I wasn’t ashamed of what I was doing. I think she knew it because as soon as I said yes, my sister slapped me so hard I could feel the sting in my jaw.

Then she shouted angrily, “How dare you Porsche! I worked my ass off since I was eighteen to provide a good life for you and you repay me by being a stripper? A whore!” I can see the fire in her eyes. I had never seen Paris this angry. 

I shot back, “I ain’t a whore!” Tears streamed down my face because my sister called me a whore. My feelings were hurt and I wanted to shout back at her.

“You a whore if you let men see your body and they fuck you for money!  So who was the lucky man tonight, huh?  How much did he pay for you to fuck him,” she asked.  I sat there quietly as she yelled, “Answer me!” 

I couldn’t answer her right away. I was still trying to get my emotions under control. My sister thought I was ho. I have been careful to not project myself as such. I guess it don’t matter when you take your clothes off for the world to see.

Finally I answered her, “I never did anything like that before until tonight, I swear to you Paris,” I cried.

“I don’t believe you Porsche,” she said through her tears, and continued, “You want to know how I knew?  Marcus has a buddy who happens to go to the strip clubs all the time and he saw you.  I didn’t want to believe him so I went there myself tonight.  You weren’t anywhere to be found so I asked your boss where you were and he said in the VIP room.   Do you know how humiliating that was for me to find out from one of Marcus’ friends that my sister is a stripper? Do you?”

“I’m sorry Paris,” I managed to get in.

“Why are you sorry Porsche? You’re sorry because you got caught!  I tried to be the best I could be for you Porsche.  I knew you were taking the death of mom and dad hard but this is just to the extreme.  You are not the only one who is grieving here.” She was crying hard trying to get out the words.

“You did not have to take care of a fourteen and ten year old at the age of eighteen. Grow the fuck up and take care of some responsibilities. Being a stripper cannot erase what has happened. 

All we can do is pick up the pieces and move on,” she said as she grabbed and hugged me.  We cried with each other because I knew she was right. I only strip to take away the pain I was feeling inside.

“Please promise me you won’t go back to that place,” she cried, “You have more than enough love here at home. I love you Porsche.”  She wiped my face and kissed my forehead.

“I love you too Paris and I promise, no more stripping,” I said.  She walked out the bathroom and closed the door.  I thought about it and realize some promises are made to be broken and there was no way I could keep that promise to Paris.

I just had that adrenalin to strip.   Maybe I loved how it gave me the power I had over men. I loved to see them watch me with lust in their eyes. They can look but not touch.  How bad was it to show off my body and get paid to do it?  I have to live my own life and if Paris didn’t understand, then that was just too damn bad.

Chapter 5 ~ Patrice

I hadn’t heard a single word from Tony since he hung up in my face.  My feelings were a little hurt. He must have thought I was one of his little ho’s who he used to mess with back in the day. I tell you what; he has another thing coming if he thinks that.  He feels he’s not obligated or something.  He thinks he can just fuck me and leave me with a baby to raise by myself.  Not taking any responsibilities? What Antonio did to me was a bitch ass move. If he knows me as well as he thinks he does, he should know that I was about to make his life a living hell.

I know we are both young and we made this mistake.  I didn’t fuck him by myself and it takes two to lay together to create a baby. So I decided to do what a typical bitch would do and hunt his ass down.  I know it may sound crazy but enough was enough. I’d been plotting all day, trying to figure how I can find a reason to go to Tallahassee.  It’s the middle of the week, so I can’t go until the weekend, but I just may skip school all together and surprise his ass.

This pregnancy shit is not for me. I have had morning sickness out the ass and I’m starting to gain weight.  My breasts are always sore and I’m moody all the damn time. I really don’t know how many weeks I am because I have yet to take my ass to a doctor but I am guessing about 9 weeks. I know for a fact that I am in my 3rd month because I haven’t seen my period in two going on three months.

My stomach is starting to poke out a little and I’m doing my best to keep it hidden. I looked around my classroom and I do not know what the hell the teacher is talking about. I need to get out of here and get some fresh air. I feel like I’m suffocating. I raised my hand to get Mr. Davis’ attention.

“Yes Miss. Hilton,” Mr. Davis said. 

“Can I go see the nurse? I’m not feeling too well,” I said.

“Can’t it wait until after the lesson is over,” he asked. 

“If I could wait then I would have never asked you,” I said. 

He stopped what he was doing and took out a pass to write for me.  I gathered up my books and walked out of the room, and slammed my book bag down on the floor and faced the wall to cry.

I don’t need this shit right about now; and I’m tired of dealing with this by myself!  My tears flowed freely and I wanted so badly to tell my sisters what was going on.  But I know once I tell them I will never hear the end of “didn’t I tell you not to mess with Tony?”  They only tolerated him because we were together but I knew deep down they thought he was way out of my league.

Tony is my first real boyfriend, my first love, my first everything.  I would do anything for him but now I’m starting to see what my sisters were talking about.   He is only about self and he doesn’t give a damn about me and it hurts like hell.  I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist and I knew that smell anywhere.

What the hell was Tony doing here?   He was supposed to be in school.  I could feel him rubbing my belly and my tears dropped some more.  I didn’t want to turn around and face him because I was still mad that I hadn’t heard from him in three weeks.

The only words that came out of my mouth were, “What are you doing here?”  I could feel his hands rising slowly towards my breasts.  When he started to rub them I got wet immediately.  Hell, haven’t had any in over two months and I was feeling a little horny.  He squeezed my nipple and I slapped his hands away.

“They’re sore.  Please don’t do that,” I said.  He moved his hands down to my waist and began to rub my hips. 

“You’re gaining weight,” he said. 

I said, “That’s all you got to say Tony is I’m gaining weight?” 

He turned me around to face him, but I didn’t want to look at him. If I did I might spit in his face. The safest place to look was on the ground. He put both hands on the wall to block me so I couldn’t go anywhere.

“Look at me Precious,” he said. 

“No,” I said wiping my face because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was making me cry.  I hated his guts at that moment.

“Please,” he said.

“No,” I yelled and tried to duck under his arm but he wouldn’t let me. 

“Can we get out of here so we could talk?” he asked. I thought about it for a second and knew sooner or later that we would have to talk.

“Fine,” I agreed and continued, “Now will you move the fuck out my way?”

I finally looked up at him with blazing eyes. I guess he had never seen this side of me but once a nigga shit on you then you best believe the bitch comes out of us.  I don’t care how nice of a person we might be, but once we get fucked over we turn into an evil twin not to be messed with.

He slowly put his hands down and I walked right by, not grabbing my books because I knew he would get them. I had to teach his ass that I have the upper hand
and he will not, and I repeat will not get the best of me. I got in his car and refused to make conversation with him. I didn’t want to discuss anything until we were behind closed doors.

Once those doors were shut then I was going to lay his ass out. I may look all innocent and precious but I am not to be played or fucked with. They always say watch out for the quiet ones.  “So you going to ignore me the whole ride Patrice,” he asked.  Patrice, he only calls me Patrice when he is trying to get my attention but it isn’t happening.