Chasing Love & Rainbows (8 page)

Usually I am “Precious” to him but now I am good old-fashioned Patrice.  Ha!  He plays so many mind games but it’s not working.  I turned my head even more to the side while I was saying to myself “fuck you.”

“You know you acting childish right,” he said. 

I wanted to reach over and slap the shit out of him.  Now I’m being childish because I don’t want to hold a conversation with his ass.  How the hell does he expect me to feel when I haven’t heard from him in almost 2 months?  What am I supposed to do?  Jump into his arms and kiss his ass?  He had another think coming.

I took a deep breath trying to contain my anger because I was ready to give him a piece of my mind.  I knew we were almost there and I couldn’t wait to give it to him.  Once we arrived I jumped out of the car and waited for him to open the door to his parent’s house.  I knew they were at work so we had the house to ourselves.

He was hesitant at first and looked back at me.  My arms were folded under my breasts while I was tapping my feet on the ground waiting for him to unlock the door.  Once he stuck that key in and I entered the door and it was locked, all hell broke loose.

I said, “You call me childish Tony?  Let’s rewind for a minute here!  When I told you I was pregnant what did you do?”  I continued with, “You basically told me to kiss your ass and didn’t call or check on me in two months.”

My voice caught in my throat and I tried to hold back my tears. I couldn’t hold them any longer and they freely ran down my face. “Then you say I’m sorry?  You think you can just show up unannounced and think everything will be all right between us? What you did was foul and you know it.  I didn’t deserve to be treated the way you treated me.” I cried harder as I spoke to him.

Tears continue to flow from my eyes as I said, “We both messed up with this pregnancy and I am not going to take the blame for it.  If you cannot deal with the fact that I’m going to keep this baby then leave me the hell alone.  I can deal with this baby by myself.  I have been dealing with it for two months now.” I yelled to him.

I had to stop and take a breath because I was huffing so hard I thought I was going to have an asthma attack.  Isn’t it funny how guys can have your heart beating a mile a minute?  He just sat on the edge of the couch with his hands pressed against his face.  If I didn’t know better I could have sworn I saw tears sliding down his face.

“I hate you for what you put me through Antonio!  I didn’t deserve to be ignored,” I yelled with tears in my eyes.  I hated feeling so vulnerable but my hormones were
acting up all over the place. I walked closer to get a better look and sure enough they were tears.  Damn, he was hurting just like I was! Should I even care? He treated me like shit for two months with no phones calls, no visits, and ignoring my calls.

I took a deep breath and walked up to him and put my arms around his neck.  He pulled me closer and began to cry. We both cried because we really didn’t know what to do about this pregnancy because we were both so young.  I was seventeen and he was nineteen.  I want to be a lawyer and he wants to be an NBA basketball player one day. 

So many dreams we both have.  But the question is will both of us sacrifice our dreams together or will I be the one to do it alone?  “I’m sorry baby, I am so sorry,” he said while looking up at me, “I know I have been an ass lately but I had to have time to think about it myself.  I didn’t mean to put you off, I just needed some space.”

I yelled, “You needed some space?”  Pushing myself out of his arms, I was fuming now. “While you were having your space, I was too busy throwing up, trying to figure out if it was worth keeping this baby and you, trying to see how in the hell was I going to tell my sisters what a fuck up I am, and you talk about your need for some space?   That shit you were talking about was lame! Space…” I mumbled under my breath and sucked my teeth.

Seeing a picture of us on his dresser, I picked it up and flung it across the room.  The picture frame broke and glass went everywhere.  I yelled at him, “Fuck you and your space!” 

“Yo, you need to calm the hell down!  Don’t be coming in my crib breaking shit Patrice,” he said.

“I break whatever the hell I see fit to break. I should break your damn neck,” I said pointing in his face. Then I pushed his head.  I know I was asking for it, but I was so mad that I really wanted to beat the shit out of Tony. My blood was boiling so hot that I started to see stars in my eyes.

“Baby, don’t put your hands on me,” he said calmly taking a deep breath and continuing, “I know that you are mad and I said I was sorry.  But I will not let you punk me by putting your hands on me.  So this is a fair enough warning ok?” 

I asked, “What you gone do Antonio if I do put my hands on you?” I got closer to his face.

“I should slap the shit out of you talking about some goddamn space,” I said, “You want space?  I will give your ass space! Take me home now,” I yelled, “You tall ass punk!”  I picked up my purse and book bag and started to walk out the door.  I stopped in my tracks when I heard him laughing at me. I got so mad and I begin to see red in my vision. Don’t anybody laugh at me while I’m hurting. I don’t know what possessed me to hit him but I did.

I slammed my book bag down to
rush
toward him and slapped the shit out of Tony.  The next thing I knew he had me around my neck pinned up against the door.  He had fire in his eyes. 

“Didn’t I tell you not to put your hands on me with your crazy ass,” he asked. He added pressure around my neck to give it a squeeze, but I held it down and didn’t flinch.

I looked him right in the eye and said, “Take your hand from around my neck or I swear I will kill you Tony.” I hissed at him through clenched teeth.

“What you say Precious?” he asked as he let go of my neck and trapped my hands above my head. Using one hand, he ran his finger down the side of my cheeks, and said, “Damn, you’re so beautiful.” I tried to move my hands but he had a tight grip on them.

I yelled in his face, “I hate you!” 

“I love you too, Precious,” he said as he bent to try to kiss me but I moved my head to the side. 

His lips captured my neck and he began to lick my neck and suck gently.  I begin to breathe slowly, trying my best not to like what he was doing to me.  As he went to my ear, his tongue swept inside.  I tried not to moan but it escaped my mouth anyway.

“You like that,” he whispered my ear.

“No,” I said, turning my head back around to look in his face.  He tried to kiss me again, but I refused to open up my mouth so he could gain entry.

“You want to play hard ball I see,” he said.

“I can’t stand your tall punk ass, now let me go. It’s against the law to hold me against my will,” I said. 

He ignored what I said and grabbed my right breast with his hand.  I gasped because they were so sore. “Tony, my breasts are sore, don’t do that,” I said through clenched teeth, “I swear I will hurt you boy.”  He began to rub my breasts tenderly and I just gave up and let him do his thing.

“I want you,” he said, “I haven’t had any in 2 months.” 

“And whose fault is that?  You needed your space remember?  Your dick could have been getting service every week but you decided not to put miles on him.  So this shop is closed sweetheart until further notice,” I said. He looked like I had lost my mind.

“Well Big Tony needs a tune up and Patrice will be opening for me any minute,” he replied. When he let go of my hands I tried to make a run for it. I didn’t get past the kitchen as he lifted me up high in the air.

“Let go!” I yelled to him.

He ignored me as we traveled to his bedroom. “Don’t fight me Precious, please.” He begged me. I stood there expressionless as he began to take my clothes off piece by piece. I felt nothing for him at this point even if my body did betray me. My mind was in another place. By the time I could protest I was standing buck ass necked in front of him.  “Damn, you a fine ass girl!  You done put on a little weight and your breasts are fuller. Turn around so I can see them,” he said.

I turned around for him. “Look at that ass. I got to taste it,” he said.  He bent down on his knees and grabbed me around my waist.  I leaned my back against the door and lifted my left leg up on his shoulder. It was time for Tony to eat up and boy was I hot and ready. My mind was still on shut off mode but my body was ready.

He put my right leg on his other shoulder and grabbed a hand full of ass and pulled me forward towards his mouth and I knew I was going to cum instantly. When I felt the first lick on my clit I was a goner.  I had to cum and when I did I was screaming at the top of my lungs.  I begin to grind my hips in Tony’s face and he licked me ever so sweetly. 

I needed this action from him and he was giving it all he had because he knew that he was in the doghouse.  He lifted me higher and ran his tongue in my ass and back up to my clit. I cried out in pure ecstasy. 

“Do that shit baby,” I shouted. “This is yours, claim it baby!  Yeah…right there!  Tony…Oh baby, that’s my spot,” I moaned.

I began to grind on his face harder because I was about to cum again and he gently squeezed my breasts when the orgasm hit me full force.  I closed my eyes and let the feeling over take me as I felt Tony licking all of my juices away I began to slow down grinding on his face.  He continued to lick and I began to get sensitive on my clit. 

“I need you inside me Tony, I think Big Tony is ready for that tune up now,” I said.

He gave my pussy one more lick and begin to take off his clothes.  Damn, my baby was fine. He put LeBron James to shame. We climbed on his bed and began to kiss. I could taste all of my juices from his mouth but I didn’t care at that point. 

I needed him and I knew he needed me. I broke the kiss off and begin to travel down south to give Big Tony some extra attention. If a woman can please her man down here then she will never have a problem with him going astray if she does it right.  I took Big Tony into my mouth and begin to lick him like a lollipop. I squeezed his balls in the process and I could feel Tony hands on my head.

I ran my tongue on the side of his dick and licked his balls, putting them in my mouth and then I licked backed up. Tony loves when I do that. I put him back in my mouth and begin to deep throat him. Squeezing my jaws together, I sucked him until he was crying out in agony and then I climbed on top and began to ride.

“This won’t hurt the baby will it?” he asked.

“Fine time to ask Tony, and no, it won’t hurt the baby,” I said and kept on riding him.  He sat up and took my left nipple in his mouth “Oh that feels so good,” I said.  Leaning my hands back on the bed, I arched my back to give Tony better access to my breasts.  He sucked both back and forth while I kept on moving. We were moving into each other so hard you heard slapping noises.

“I’m sorry baby,” he said while giving my breasts special care.

  “I know,” I said stopping movement and took his face in my hands so he could look in my eyes.

“You hurt me,” I said.  He saw the tears and held me close.  “Don’t ever do that again Tony. Please,” I said, catching a sob in my throat.

“I promise I won’t.  I want us to be a family and we’re going to get through this shit, together, just me and you,” he said.  I held on to him tighter. “You still love me,” he asked and I looked deep into his eyes while he wiped the tears away.

“I never stopped,” I said quietly and I begin to ride Tony again because we both were on a high, and I shouted, “You love me!”

He shouted “Yeah,” while slapping my ass in the process.  I bent over and gave him a tongue kiss and he held my face in his hands and gave it back.

“I’m cumming,” I shouted and we both began to move faster and faster.  He flipped me over on my back and began to drive home.

We were both trying to outdo one another, and he shouted as he came, “I love you Precious!  Damn I love you so much!”

“I love you too, baby,” I said as I came right behind him. 

We were both breathing hard and out of breath.  He flipped over on his back and I said, “I hate you.”  He looked over at me and grabs me from behind so we can spoon.

“I love you too Precious.” He kissed the back of my neck and we both fell asleep. 

Chapter 6 ~ Paris

It seemed as though life had been throwing me some curve balls lately. First, I found out that my sister Porsche is a stripper and there is no telling what secret Patrice is hiding. Ever since we showed her that videotape of my mom, she’s been rather distant.  I said to myself that I was going to give her another week to sort out what was going on then I was going to ask her if she needed me for anything.  I’m always surrounding myself with my sisters’ problems and trying to fix them when I need to be fixing things for my own self. 

For example, Marcus and I have been together for at least eleven years and he has not once proposed to me.  Instead of me avoiding the issue I need to be trying to figure out why a guy who I love doesn’t want to make a commitment. We’ve been living together for four years and the subject of getting married has come up maybe twice.