Cheap Shot (16 page)

“Sure is, and my daughter, Margaret. I’d
introduce y’all, but I have a feeling it wouldn’t take much for her to fall for
you, and from what you’ve told me, your heart belongs to someone else.”

“It does.”

“Then why are you wasting your time sitting
here talking to an old fool like me?” Fred asked. “You need to go find your
lady.”

Jaxon grinned. “Thanks for the talk, Fred.
It helped a lot.”

“I’m glad.” He slapped Jaxon on the back.
“You let me know how it all turns out, y’hear?”

“I will, thanks.”

*   *   *

Jaxon was sitting at the bar with Dylan
when Sela walked in to start her shift. She wasn’t surprised to see him, but
she had no idea what to say to him. She’d given him the impression she wanted
nothing more to do with him, yet… she wasn’t so sure.

She watched him answer his phone. His face
drained of color as he nodded. He and Dylan exchanged a few words before he
made a beeline for the door.

Sela caught his wrist as he walked past
her. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t talk now. I’m sorry, I’ve got to
go.”

She tried not to feel hurt by his
rejection, but it wasn’t easy. She assumed he’d want to talk about last night,
but apparently he had more pressing issues to deal with. She wandered over to
the bar, hoping Dylan would fill her in.

“Hey,” he said as soon as she approached.
“Did Jax tell you about his mom?”

“No,” Sela said, feeling her heart pound
harder. “What happened?”

“I don’t know all the details, but they
rushed her to the hospital. It sounded pretty serious.”

“Oh no.” Sela’s eyes drifted to the door.
She wanted to go after him to offer her support, but she wasn’t sure it would
be welcome. “I know they had a tumultuous relationship, but—”

“She’s still his mama,” Dylan said,
reaching for his beer.

“Exactly.” Sela thought about her feud with
her own parents. They were dead wrong for trying to run her life, but she’d
never forgive herself if something happened to either one of them while they
were on bad terms. “I wish I could do something for him.”

“You could be there for him.” Dylan tipped
back his beer.

“I don’t think he’d want me there. A lot
has happened.”

“He still loves you. That hasn’t changed.
The question is whether or not you feel the same way about him.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Not really. Do you love him or not?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Then you wouldn’t want him to be at the
hospital alone.”

Sela searched Dylan’s eyes. “You think I
should go after him?”

“I know what I’d do if I were you.”

“Do you know which hospital they took her
to?”

“The one nearest the nursing home would be
my guess.”

Sela looked up at the V.I.P. lounge. “I
can’t just leave. My shift starts in twenty minutes.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he said, winking.
“You’ve got friends in high places who’ll cover for you.”

“Thank you.” She leaned in to kiss his
cheek and loop her arm around his neck. “I should be giving you hell for what
you did, showing up at Joe’s to do your buddy’s bidding like that.”

Dylan tapped the tip of her nose. “I only
did it because I care about both of you. Any fool can see you belong together.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so. Now go after your man.”

Sela flew by every speed limit sign on
her way to the hospital. If, God forbid, something happened to Jaxon’s mother,
she didn’t want him to be alone when he got the news.

Jaxon looked up at her when she crossed the
waiting room. “Sela, what are you doing here?”

“Dylan told me this was where I’d find
you.” She sat next to him and reached for his hand without thinking. “How’s
your mama?”

“She choked on something at dinner,” he
said, shaking his head. “They almost lost her, but one of the nurses performed
the Heimlich Maneuver, and they were able to revive her. I guess it was
touch-and-go for a few minutes.”

“But she’s going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” He squeezed her hand. “You didn’t
have to come, but I’m glad you did. Thank you.”

“I didn’t want you to be alone, you know,
in case the news was bad.”

“I appreciate that.” He closed his eyes and
took a deep breath. “She’s resting now. They don’t want me to disturb her. I
was just taking a minute to collect myself.” He held out his free hand. “My
hands are still shaking. I don’t know how the hell I made it here in one
piece.”

The thought of something happening to him
made Sela gasp.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking at her.

“Yes, of course. I’m fine. Why don’t I
drive you home? I can bring you back tomorrow to pick up your car and visit
your mama, assuming she’ll still be here?”

“Yeah, she will be. Her breathing still
seems a little labored, so they want to keep her for observation and run a few more
tests, but you don’t have to take me home. I’ll be fine to drive. I just need a
few minutes.”

“I want to.” She stood, tugging on his
hand. “Come on, I’ll feel better if I know you’re safe and sound at home.”

“It’s not your job to take care of me,” he reminded
her.

“Old habits die hard,” she said, dragging
him toward the elevator.

“Tell me about it.”

She was about to question what he meant
when he urged her onto the empty elevator and punched the button.

“I can’t seem to break the habit of loving
you,” he said, backing her into a corner, his lips coming down on hers. “Of
wanting you,” he said between kisses. “Needing you.”

Instead of pushing him away, she opened her
mouth to his. The elevator reached the ground floor lobby before she tore
herself away. “Let’s get you home, Jax.”

“I want you to come home with me,” he
whispered. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

She wanted to believe he was asking because
he needed
her
, not just a warm body, but she didn’t have the guts to
ask. She didn’t want him to think she was okay with what he had done, but she
wasn’t willing to walk away either. “We still have a lot to talk about, a lot
of things to work out.”

“We can do that,” he said, kissing her
hand. “Whatever it takes, whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”

She wasn’t used to the humble Jaxon. She
was used to the strong, confident, slightly arrogant man who’d swept her off
her feet… and shattered her. They held hands as they walked to the parking lot,
and Sela let her sister’s words filter through her head. Was Kiki right? Should
she give Jaxon another chance?

As they settled into her car, she turned
music on so neither of them would feel obligated to talk. She’d rather get lost
in her own thoughts, and she thought he might want the same thing. The drive to
his place took less than fifteen minutes.

When she found a spot in guest parking, he
removed his seatbelt and turned toward her. “You’ve been pretty quiet. Care to
tell me what’s on your mind?”

“A lot,” she said, wrapping her hand around
the steering wheel. “I don’t know if this”—she gestured between them—“us, is a
good idea. It may be time to cut our losses and move on.”

He sighed. “I can’t have this conversation
in the middle of a parking lot. At least come upstairs so we can talk about it
over a drink.”

Sela knew that could lead to one drink
after another until she’d had too much to drive home. She reached for his arm
when he started to get out of the car. “I probably shouldn’t.”

He looked over his shoulder. “I can’t force
you to stay, but don’t run because you’re scared, Sela. Walk away because
that’s what feels right.”

Leaving him didn’t feel right. She didn’t
know if what was because of the scare he’d had or what had happened between
them the night before, but she could tell he felt vulnerable and alone, and she
wanted to support him, even if it meant sacrificing herself. “Okay, let’s go.”

He didn’t smile or give her any indication
he was pleased she’d agreed, but when he slipped his hand in hers, she felt the
tension in his body melt away.

“How is your mama?” she asked. “I mean,
aside from what happened today.”

“She’s gone.” Jaxon swiped his access card
to gain entry to the building. “She’s still here physically, but mentally, she
checked out a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry. I know how difficult that must
be for you.” She gripped his wrist with her free hand. Even though Jaxon and
his mother had never been close, she was still his only family.

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk
about her tonight.”

Sela tried not to feel slighted. He was
shutting her out again when she wanted him to share his thoughts and feelings
with her. Was she deluding herself, hoping he had changed?

“What’s wrong?” he asked, facing her when
she stopped in front of the elevators.

“We’ve come full circle, haven’t we?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you broke up with me, you said it was
because of what was going on with your mother, which we both knew was an
excuse. You didn’t want to let me in then, and you don’t want to let me in now,
do you?”

“No,” he said, reaching for her. “God, no.
That’s not how it is, I swear.” He wrapped his hand around her neck and drew
her closer, touching his forehead to hers. “I’m an idiot sometimes. I shoot my
mouth before I think. I’m sorry. We can talk about anything you want, including
my mother.”

Sela knew he wanted her to believe no
subject was off limits, but when it came down to it, would he really let his
guard down? “Let’s go up to your place.”

He guided her to the elevator so quickly,
he seemed as if he feared she would change her mind. He punched the button for
the penthouse. “I know I don’t deserve another chance, but that doesn’t mean I
can just let you go.” He bit his lip as he clenched her hand. “I keep telling
myself you deserve a better man, but I can’t let anyone else take you away from
me. Not this time.”

Last time Jaxon had broken up with her,
he’d done everything in power to hide his emotions, but this time, his pain was
written all over his handsome face. Sela thought he was hurting as much as she
was, maybe even more.

“I never would have been with someone else
if you hadn’t pushed me away,” she reminded him. “The first time Sheldon and I
were intimate, I cried myself to sleep because I felt like I was being
unfaithful to you. We’d been apart almost eight months, and it still felt like cheating.”
She didn’t know if she should have told him that, but she thought he needed to
know.

He fixed her with a penetrating look that
made it impossible for her to guess what he was thinking. As soon as the
elevator doors opened, he pulled her through, spun her around, and pinned her
against the wall with his powerful body. “You’re mine,” he whispered, his hot
breath shifting her hair. “Mine. No other man has the right to put his hands on
you.” He guided his hand up her bare thigh. “Ever. Again.”

Sela trembled. That was the Jaxon she
remembered, a force to be reckoned with if anyone got in the way of what he
wanted. She thought about objecting but knew it was pointless. They both knew
she wanted the same thing he did.

“Do. You. Understand?”

Her hands were at her sides. She didn’t
dare touch him, because if she did, their clothes would be all over the hall.
“You don’t own me, Jaxon.”

“You own me.” He grazed her lips with his.
“My body, my mind, my heart. It’s all yours.”

It was impossible to keep her eyes open as
his hand moved over her ribcage, grazing the underside of her breast. She was
grateful his suite was the only one on the top floor, affording her the privacy
to draw him into a frenzied kiss.

“Tell me you’re mine. Tell me this,” he
whispered, caressing her body. “And this”—he tapped his index finger against
her temple—“and this”—he drew a heart on her chest with his fingertip—“is all
mine.”

Sela swallowed, trying to find the words to
object. She couldn’t make it so easy for him to erase all the pain he’d caused
her. “It’s not that easy. It can’t be.”

He trapped her with a hand against the wall
on either side of her head. “It’s harder to go on pretending you don’t love me.
Tell me you love me. I need to hear you say those words. Please.”

The last time she’d told Jaxon she loved
him, it was after they made love. He’d pretended he was asleep instead of
responding the way she prayed he would. That was when she vowed she’d never
share her feelings with him again.

“You can’t say it?” he asked, sounding as
though his breath was trapped in his throat. “You don’t love me anymore? Is it
because of him? Do you still have feelings for Sheldon?”

Sela closed her eyes, trying to ignore the
anguish in his eyes. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she didn’t want to be
hurt either.

“Oh God, that’s it, isn’t it?” he asked,
pushing off the wall. “I fooled myself into believing you could never love
anyone the way you loved me.” He stalked down the hall toward his apartment.
“But I was deluding myself, wasn’t I?”

She couldn’t let him believe he was the
only one on the edge, terrified to fall. Walking up behind him, she wrapped her
arms around his waist as he slipped the key into the lock. “You’re the one I
love. The only one. That’s the way it’s always been, and I’m afraid that’s the
way it’ll always be.”

He dropped his head as his hand covered
hers. “Thank God. You don’t know what it did to me, thinking you may have
fallen in love with—”

She spun him around, stealing his words
with a kiss. She didn’t want to think or talk about old lovers. This was their
time.

*   *   *

Jaxon set a glass of wine in front of Sela,
hoping her willingness to drink meant she’d decided to spend the night. He had
wanted to continue kissing her all the way down the hall to his bedroom,
shedding clothes as they went, but she told him they needed to slow down. He
didn’t want to slow down. He wanted to make up for all the nights he’d woken up
missing her, reaching for her, crying inside because she wasn’t there.

“Thank you.” She reached for the glass and
eased back into the cushions. She ran a fingertip around the edge of the glass,
her eyes hooded as she watched him watching her. “It’s been a long time since
we’ve… been together.” She licked her lips as she waited for him to respond.

He understood now. She wanted to take their
time, let the anticipation build until the explosion rattled the windows.
“Yes.” He coated his dry throat with bourbon. “Too long.”

“Tell me what you’ve been up to, Jax. Have
there been a lot of women since me?” She kicked off her high heels, settling
her feet in his lap.

“You’re not seriously asking me to talk
about that, are you?” At the moment, he couldn’t remember the name of a single
woman he’d had sex with since Sela. He hadn’t been celibate, but none of his
experiences had been memorable.

“Why not?” She sipped her wine as though
they had all the time in the world to talk. “You know about me and Sheldon. Has
there been anyone special for you in the past year?”

He knew it was cruel, but he decided to
bait her. Maybe then she’d stop playing games. “There was this one girl.” He
hid his grin behind his glass when he saw her body tense. “She was great.”

“What happened?” she asked, narrowing her
eyes. “Why didn’t it work out?”

“We still see each other now and then.” He
drained his glass before setting it on the table.

“Is that so?” She sat up straighter as she
clenched the fragile crystal stem so hard he expected it to snap in two. “When
was the last time y’all
saw
each other?”

Jaxon tried to hide his amusement, dipping
his head. “It’s been a while.”

“Define a while,” she said, her teeth
clenched. “Are we talking days, weeks, months?”

He looked up, treating her to a grin.
“You’re jealous.”

“No, I’m not,” she said, throwing back the
rest of the wine before thrusting the glass at him. “I remember how much you
like sex. I imagine there have been dozens of women since me.” Her lips
thinned. “Since you’re not denying it, I guess I’m right.”

He brought her hand to his lips. “Does any
of this really matter? Who cares what happened while we were apart or even
before we broke up? Let’s forget about that and start over from today. Do you
think you can do that?”