Choices (19 page)

Chapter 39

When I walk into P
layer’s Wednesday night, I don’t expect Brody to be working. I traded nights with another girl so that I could have Friday off. I am taking an order at a table when I look up to find him staring at me. Immediately, my whole body tingles and becomes warm. It’s as if he caressed me from across the room.

Distracted, I have to ask the customer to repeat his order.
After I place the order, I make my way to the bar. Brody is talking to several girls who are vying for his attention.
Geez. It’s Wednesday night. Don’t they have to go to church or something?

As I approach, I have a slightly sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
But when Brody turns and sees me, his face transforms into a sexy smile. He excuses himself and saunters my way. “I wondered how long it would take you to notice me.” He leans toward me, one hand on the bar. “I was getting lonely over here.”

I raise my brow skeptically, “Yeah, right. I see your fan club waiting for you.”

“Ah, but that’s the thing, Quince. I only see you.” And he does make me feel like the only girl in the room. “Come here.” He leans across the bar. I look around to see if anyone is watching, and I lean over the bar toward him. He stares into my eyes as he presses a quick but gentle kiss on my lips.

He
abruptly turns and walks back to the girls. They are staring at me with disbelief and envy on their faces. Secretly, I am ecstatic. I want to jump up and down with my fist in the air. Instead, I smirk and walk away.
Take that.

Alex meets me in the kitchen.
“Uh, huh. You finally going to come clean or am I going to have to torture you for the truth?”

Everything is going so well, I don’t want to jinx it. But I can’t keep my secret any longer. I smile so wide my face hurts. “I guess we’re just seeing where thing
s take us?” I didn’t mean to pose it as a question, but I don’t have a cookie-cutter label to put on it. “I mean, you know he doesn’t really date, but well… I really like him.”

The look of skepticism
on her face almost makes me laugh. “No way, girlfriend. You must not see the way he looks at you. I’m pretty certain this is more than just ‘seeing where it leads’ because I’ve never seen him act like this.”

I want to believe her, but I just don’t know. I let out a deep breath
and challenge her, “Really? Alex….”

“Girl, don’t tell me you can’t see it!” She cuts me o
ff before I can finish my thought. “That boy is whipped.” She shakes her head in disbelief, “I never thought I’d see the day. You lucky bitch.”

“I’m just trying not to read too much into it.” I feel as if I already have one foot out the door, like I’m w
aiting for the other foot to follow. Turning her back to me, she dismisses me.

Earlier today, we had class together. He maintains his distance around Declan, but his eyes are weary. His patience is growing thin.

Throughout the night, I feel Brody’s eyes on me. Whenever I approach the bar, he finds a reason to touch me, even if it’s just a brush of the hand. My body is hyperaware, anticipating each caresss, but longing for more.
That’s it. I drank the punch. I joined Brody’s fan club.

After I cash out, Brody walks me
to my car. It’s dark, but the sky is alight with stars. Leaning against my car, he pulls me to stand between his legs. I suddenly feel self conscious and look down at my feet, but he puts a finger under my chin to left my face. “Don’t hide, Quince. I need to see your eyes.” He pulls me close, and I press a quick kiss to his mouth. When I pull away, he shakes his head. In slow motion, he pulls me to him again. “Oh no, that was not enough.”

His mouth covers mine, teasing my lips open. I forget where we are and what we’re doing. Everything fades away as I pour myself into his kiss.
I only hope he can feel what I don’t know how to say.

I finally pu
ll away, but he continues to hold me close, my face against his chest. He kisses the top of my head and whispers into my hair, “Quince, I don’t know how much more I can take.” I know exactly what he means.

Chapter 40

As the weekend gets closer, I dread the idea of going to Collier. It’s not like I don’t want to see my family. It’s just that I want to see Brody more. And if that doesn’t make me feel bad en
ough, the other reason I want to stay is to make sure Brody doesn’t get tempted.

I trust Brody, but I’m not sure I trust the girls who hang around the house.
They throw themselves at him, and I don’t know where we stand on that. He said he wouldn’t share me with someone else, but
he
never made any promises to me.

And then there is the pathetic truth. I don’t look or act anything like those girls, and I’m afraid I don’t measure up.

After working with Brody on Tuesday, he has texted me every night just to say ‘goodnight’. Just knowing that he’s thinking about me ties me in knots. It’s not a lot, but it means the world to me.

Things with Declan aren’t as uncomfortable as I had thought they would be. We talk and laugh the same as always, but he doesn’t reach for my hand or kiss me anymore. I miss his easy
, carefree way. When he smiles, it doesn’t always reach his eyes, and I hate myself for changing him.
Why can’t he be enough?

By Thursday, I am ready to release some tension. Jenna and I have already made pla
ns to go to Club Bliss since we will be out of town all weekend. Honestly, I just want to let go and dance my ass off.

One of the best parts about going out with Jenna is getting ready to go out with Jenna. She always finds a way to make me look beautiful. Tonight, she has chosen dark skinny jeans paired with a simple white shirt for me. I wear silver sandals, and though understated, I do look simple and pretty. I braid my hair to the side, apply some lip gloss, and I’m ready to go. No make-up to worry about when I start sweating.

Jenna looks like she walked straight out of the pages of a magazine. If she weren’t my best friend in the whole world, I’d be insanely jealous. And there is the added benefit that being with Jenna lends me confidence that I wouldn’t normally have.

When we walk in, the club is already packed. The smell, the noise, the lights… My heart rate picks up, and my body buzzes with excitement. I’m ready to dance. Jenna takes my hand and pushes through the crowd to the stairs.

We are meeting Eric on the second floor. Jenna mentioned that some of the guys were coming, but I have no idea who will show up. I didn’t mention it to Brody because I didn’t want to look clingy. It doesn’t stop me from hoping I might see him tonight. I didn’t ask Declan because I just don’t think we’re back to that stage yet. But that doesn’t keep me from missing him.

When we reach the second floor, Jenna leads me to
a dark corner where Eric is waiting for us. Several tables are pushed together, and they are crowded with the guys and their dates. Trying to act uninterested, I slowly scan the crowd for Brody or Declan. When my eyes meet blue ice, it’s as if we are the only people in the room. I cannot look away. For what seems like minutes, our eyes burn into each other. Slowly, I become aware of our surroundings.

Jenna gives my hand a quick squeeze before letting go. We find seats near Eric, but all I can think about is getting closer to Brody. He is at the other end of the table, and I couldn’t sit by him without being obvious.

A glance in his direction makes my blood boil. He hasn’t taken his eyes off me, despite the girl who is leaning into his side. Her boobs are about to fall out of her too-tight shirt, and she has enough make-up on for three people. She doesn’t seem to notice that he isn’t paying her any attention at all.
Dumb bimbo.

The thought crosses my mind that maybe he brought her here. He didn’t know I was coming because we never discussed it. Another glance, one more peek, and I notice Brody putting some distance between them. He even scoots his chair away, but she follows. She is as tenacious as a dog with a bone. As I watch, I have the sudden urge to laugh. If I wasn’t so pissed, I would find the whole thing funny
. If.

Jenna yells, “Quince, you need a drink?”
I nod, but I know I probably won’t drink it. I am the self-appointed DD. After my last experience with alcohol mixed with jealousy turned into a freakin’ disaster, I can’t even think about it. Nope. No desire to repeat.

The next time I look for Brody, he is gone. The bimbo is still sitting with her friends, a pout on her lips. A giggle escapes me before I can contain it.

“Play nice, Quince.” Brody leans over my shoulder to speak into my ear before plopping down in the chair next to me. I shiver despite the heat, but I refuse to look at him.

Pulling his chair closer to me, he says, “I have been waiting for you to get here all night.” I risk a glance in his direction
. Big mistake.
His hair curls on the ends and whispers across his brow. The royal blue shirt he’s wearing enhances his eyes, making them almost translucent. I take a deep breath, and I inhale the scent that is uniquely his.
Big. Mistake
.

“Right.
You didn’t even know I was coming, Brody.” I wonder what would have happened with the girl if I hadn’t shown up. I hate feeling this way, but I can’t seem to control it.

“Eric said he was meeting Jenna. I knew you’d be wherever she was.” He looks so proud of himself,
so smug. But I can’t deny his logic. Relaxing in my chair, I smile at him over my shoulder. “I didn’t even want to come, but I couldn’t resist an opportunity to see my girl dance.” Damn it. Even his voice gets to me.

Suddenly, I am aware of how we must look to everyone. I
look from face to face, but no one appears to even notice us. Brody doesn’t seem to care, so I relax, enjoying these moments of normalcy.

Eric a
nd Jenna return with our drinks. I watch as Brody takes a long swig from his beer. His lips wrap around the bottle and the muscles in his throat move when he swallows. I can smell the beer on Brody’s breath when he talks to me. Funny how I always thought beer was nasty, but it somehow smells delicious on him. Oddly enough, I finally understand why men think those super bowl commercials are so hot.

A
few small sips of my beer help me relax, and I loosen up while we talk. I wonder what we look like to the people who walk by. A happy couple? Friends? Maybe we just met. Or maybe we’ve known each other for years. I’d love to write our story.

Brody leans back in his chair, bracing his arm on the back of my chair. Heat radiates throughout my body as he traces lazy circles on my shoulder with his finger.
I am lost in the moment when he quickly jerks his hand away and looks behind me. Declan has arrived.

Brody smiles tightly and stands to give Declan a shoulder bump and handshake.
Fraternity stuff. They quickly fall into familiar chatter as Declan pulls up a chair and sits across from me. He is simply gorgeous. “Hey, Quince.” His eyes crinkle at the corners as he flashes his beautiful smile and darling dimples.

“Hi, Decla
n. I’m glad you came.” I wonder if he knew I would be here or if he was hoping to avoid me instead. Things are still strained between us, and I would do anything to erase that. But now is not the time. I can handle them one on one, but both of them together is just too much.

“
I had to make sure everyone got home OK.” He shrugs, looking even more adorable. His eyes scan the dance floor then back to me. “Wanna dance?”

Brody scoots his chair closer to the table, and his hand finds its way to my thigh. It burns a hole through my jeans and wrecks havoc on my nerves.
My hands shake as I take a long drink from my beer. “Dec, why don’t you have a beer with me first?” Brody rescues me.

I get choked and start coughing.
Brody slaps me across the back. “You OK, Quince?” I glare at him. He knows I am not OK. I want to smack that smug look right off his face.

“Yeah.
I’m, um, I’m going to dance with Jenna.” When I say her name, she turns to look at me. Her eyes widen as she realizes my predicament.
Finally.

Jenna immediately stands and
reaches for my hand, pulling me out of my chair. “Oh, yeah, that sounds great! I’ve wanted to dance since we got here!” She’s never going to win an Oscar at this rate.

I look back and forth between Brody and Declan, and I try to paste a smile on my face. I’m pretty sure I look like
a carnival clown. I can’t open my mouth, so I give them a small wave and allow Jenna to drag me away.

Once we find a spot to dance, Jenna spins around and pins me with her eyes. She doesn’t even have to speak to get her point across.
I should have already cleaned up my mess.

When we start dancin
g, though, it all fades away. Several songs later, with my arms raised above my head, I tingle with anticipation when a hand runs down my side. Brody. I’d know his touch anywhere. I lean back into him, and his hands rest on my waist. We move together instinctively, as if we’ve danced like this our whole lives.

Eric joins Jenna, and I briefly wonder where Declan is. As the music slows down, I turn to face Brody. For an instant, his eyes are filled with pain, but it is quickly replaced with desire. His eyes burn into me, and I
get the feeling he is trying to tell me something.

“Let’s go, babe. Let’s get out of here.” I nod. Giving him my hand, I allow him to pull me off the dance floor. With one hand on the small of my back, he guides me through the crowd and down the stairs. I need to text Jenna so she knows I am leaving.

The night air is cool, and a shiver runs through me as we walk to Brody’s Jeep. I love holding his hand, love the way he looks at me. He leads us to the passenger door, and his hands move to my waist. I think he’s going to give me a boost, but instead, he pushes me against the Jeep. His lips find mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

“Brody!
What the hell, man?” Those words are like a cold glass of water thrown in my face. Before I can react, Brody is shoved backwards, and Declan is standing between us. He squares his shoulders, prepared to fight. “What are you doing?”

I run around Declan, separating them. “Declan, stop!” He doesn’t take his eyes off Brody.
I’ve never seen him angry, and I am surprised by its intensity.

I watch as h
is eyes narrow, looking back and forth between us several times. His mind makes the connection, and I see the moment the truth hits him. His eyes land on me, searing me to the bone. “Him? It’s been him this whole time, hasn’t it?” I slowly nod.

Even though I hoped it wouldn’t,
I knew this moment would come. I wanted to be the one to tell him the truth, but I waited too long. And now, it’s too late.

“
How could you? You were special to me, and all you had to do was tell the truth. I trusted you!” When his face twists in pain, tears reach his eyes. His breathing becomes hard and desperate, and I want so badly to reach out and brush his tears away, to find a way to erase it all. But I caused this. Only I can take responsibility for the lies, the betrayal, and the pain. I was selfish, and now, I will lose it all. I deserve it.

Declan glares over my shoulder at Brody. I cannot see him, and I can’t make myself turn around. “And you! You’re my fucking brother!” His voice is filled with anguish and each word cuts like a knife.

Brody finally speaks, “I didn’t want you to find out like this, Dec, but I love her. And I will do whatever it takes to keep her.”

Declan makes several attempts
to speak, but the words get stuck in his throat. Finally, he chokes out, “No. You know what? You two deserve each other.” He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and walks away. I haven’t said a word.

Several long minutes pass before I feel Brody’s hand on my shoulder. I sink into him, but I can’t force myself to move.
Declan hates me. It’s only a matter of time before Brody figures out I’m not worth losing his friends for.

I close my eyes as my body begins to tremble. Brody slowly turns me to face him, embracing me. His voice is full of emotion when he assures me, “Quince, it’s going to be OK. He just needs some time to cool down.”

I am such a dumbass
. “Brody, I don’t want to come between you and your fraternity brothers. I was so stupid, and I am the reason this happened. I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.”

“
Babe, you can’t keep breaking something that’s already broken. We are screwed up.” He swings his arms out to his sides as his voice rises. “No,
this
is screwed up. What we did was wrong, but I meant what I said. I love you, Quince.” When I look into his eyes, I see truth. Lowering his head, he places a soft kiss on my forehead. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”

Even as my heart breaks, his words comfort me.
Words that I wanted so badly to hear, tarnished by my betrayal. Tears slowly run down my face as I cling to him. He wipes my tears away, holding me close until I’m ready to move.

Brody helps me into his Jeep, and I stare out the window while he drives.
I watch the city lights fly by while the reality of what happened sinks in. As sure as I am of my feelings for Brody, I am sure I’ve lost Declan forever. He will never forgive me. He is so special, so sweet. I wasn’t worthy of him anyway.