Cinderella's Christmas Affair (16 page)

“I think I’m freaking out,” CJ said to herself. She closed her eyes tightly and muttered a prayer under her breath.

“Trust me, you’re not.”

“Where are we?”

“I don’t know. This is the place you brought us to.”

CJ pinched her thigh hard and gasped when the pain was real. This wasn’t a dream. She stood in front of her childhood home in Auburndale. The yard had one of those tacky chain-link fences around it. The battered Buick Century she and Marnie had shared sat in the driveway. But Rae-Anne didn’t lead her up the walk to her house.

“Why did you bring me here?” CJ asked. “I’ve spent my adult life never looking back at this time.”

“Yet this is where your subconscious brought you. Why is that?”

CJ saw her teenaged self—wearing a pair of baggie jeans and a long T-shirt. Rae-Anne took her hand and they followed that teenaged girl next door. And CJ stopped, refusing to take another step. She knew where they were and what day it was.

“Rae-Anne, let’s leave now.”

“Can’t do it. What’s going on here?”

Four days before prom and she’d been making her way over to Tad’s place to ask him to go with her. Oh, God. This was her worst memory. No way had she chosen this place to come. No way.

“I don’t think this is going to help unless your mission is to make me depressed.”

Rae-Anne pulled CJ close in her arms and hugged her. “Of course it isn’t. But you need to see this through adult eyes and not from a clouded teenage perspective.”

They went around the back of the Randolphs’ sprawling ranch house and CJ saw the pool and two boys who were drinking sodas at the table next to it. Tad was skinnier than she remembered him being. She didn’t see her teenage self but knew that she’d been hiding behind the hedges out of sight of the boys and listening.

“I called last night and your mom said you were on a date. Did you get back with Patti?” asked Bart Johnson. He’d been the quarterback of their football team and had dated only cheerleaders.

“No. I was out with Cathy Jane Terrence.”

CJ remembered that night. They’d gone to see the
Batman
movie and he’d teased her about being like Michelle Pfeiffer—he’d called her Cat Girl. They’d had a lot of fun that night. She’d forgotten about her hair and weight. For once she’d felt like…a woman worthy of a man’s attention.

“Who?” Bart asked. She wasn’t surprised to realize he didn’t even know her name.

“You know my neighbor.” Tad gestured to her house with his Pepsi can.

“That fat girl? Why?”

“Why do you care?” Tad asked.

“I don’t. It just makes no sense. You could go out with any girl at school.”

“I don’t want any girl,” Tad said.

“Man, I don’t get it.”

Tad took a swallow of his drink then said, “She pays me to hang with her.”

Bart started laughing and CJ saw her teenage self run by. Back to her house and the box of HoHos waiting there. This she remembered.

“Let’s go. I didn’t see anything that made a difference.”

“We’re not done yet,” Rae-Anne said.

“How much is she paying you?” Bart asked.

“Man, she doesn’t pay me. Did you hit your head on the diving board earlier?”

Bart shook his head and grabbed a handful of chips from the bowl on the table. He picked up his sunglasses and put them on. “I don’t understand you. Why do you hang with her?”

Tad rubbed his stomach and glanced toward her house. She couldn’t see him clearly and wished she were closer to him. “She’s sweet and I like her smile.”

CJ’s heart broke all over again. In all the time they’d been together he’d never mentioned this to her. Not that she’d have ever let him talk about it.

“You know what they say about fat girls?” Bart asked.

“What?”

“They’re like mopeds—fun to ride until you’re around your friends.”

Tad punched Bart hard in the arm and Bart fell off balance into the pool. “Hey, man. What was that about?”

“Nothing you’d understand.”

Rae-Anne gripped CJ’s arm and snapped her fingers. CJ was sitting back at her kitchen table. The food was gone and her coffee cup was in front of her. Still warm. Rae-Anne was nowhere to be found and CJ wondered if she’d dreamed the entire episode.

She sat back in her chair. It didn’t matter if it happened or not, she was coming to realize something. Fate was influenced by her perception of reality. She’d always thought she wasn’t good enough for the men in her life. When all the time maybe she was projecting those feelings on them.

She stood up and paced her kitchen. She realized she had a choice to make—play it safe and live her life on the sidelines or take a leap. She closed her eyes and realized there really was only one choice.

But was it too late? Could she convince Tad that they could both find the happiness they deserved?

Tad’s parents had been delayed in Florida because of bad weather and had decided to delay their visit until after the holidays. Originally, he’d planned to take them to CJ’s for dinner. She’d promised to cook a meal he’d never forget. And he’d planned to make the holiday special for her. Well it looked like they both succeeded in making it unforgettable.

He’d spent most of last night in his weight room working out and wondering if he’d ever really understand women. He had a history of pursuing the ones who were most out of reach. And this time it had proved disastrous.

Traditionally, he and Pierce went for a run on Christmas morning. They’d started it the year Karen had divorced Pierce. Wracked with depression Pierce had almost overdosed on prescription medication on Christmas Eve that year. Pierce had dreaded facing the morning alone so Tad had suggested they meet early in the morning and exercise. That was more than eight years ago and they still continued the tradition.

It didn’t matter if one or both of them were in relationships. If it was raining or snowing or twenty below—they still met. Some years they simply sat in a hotel lobby, drinking coffee. Other years they ran. Pierce was faster in his wheelchair than Tad, but that didn’t matter.

This year, Tad knew he needed exercise. He needed to run as far as he could until CJ was a distant memory and the pain of her rejection started to heal.

“Merry Christmas, buddy,” Pierce said when he joined him in front of the Navy Pier. They started at the Pier and ran north.

“You too,” Tad said.

“Tawny’s picking me up in an hour. Want to call CJ and we can all go get brunch at the Hilton?”

“Uh, no.”

“Why not?”

“CJ and I aren’t together anymore. Let’s go.”

Pierce said nothing, letting Tad set the pace. His feet pounding on the pavement providing the rhythm of his thoughts, but the exercise wasn’t helping. Nevertheless he kept going and finally they arrived back at the pier. Tawny was waiting out front with a couple of cups of hot tea. Tad slowed and then stopped.

He watched his friend pick up his woman and put her on his lap. Pierce bent close to Tawny and she laughed. And Tad felt a longing deep in his soul. He finally admitted to himself that he’d wanted marriage not because his mom and dad were getting older and wanted grandkids. He was getting older and needed the grounding that only a soul mate and a family could provide.

Tad also admitted that he hadn’t really trusted CJ enough to let her all the way into his life. He’d been protecting part of himself from her. So that in case she left he’d still have a part that was untouched by her.

He waved goodbye to Pierce and Tawny and returned to his condo. He took the stairs instead of the elevator because he was too restless to wait for the lift. His mind was going fifty miles an hour and he wondered if he could convince CJ to start again.

He realized he’d pushed too hard and fast for something that neither of them were ready to admit they wanted.

He slowed his pace when he entered his floor. Someone was waiting on his doorstep. “CJ?”

“Can I talk to you?” She seemed hesitant and he didn’t blame her. Her hair was twisted up and she had those damned blue contacts in again. He was disappointed deep inside.

He wished she’d give up the costumes and play-acting and come to him as herself. He unlocked his door and stepped inside. The jewelry box still sat on the hall table. He glanced at her and saw that she was staring at it.

He tossed his keys on the table and went into the kitchen to put some coffee on. She followed him into the room. Even though he didn’t face her, he knew exactly where she was.

“What do you want?”

“Um…I wanted to…” She walked over to him. He heard her footsteps on his ceramic tile floor. Her touch on his shoulder was light and tentative. He didn’t turn. She took his shoulder and forced him to face her. He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn’t expected his arms to feel empty when he saw her again. He hadn’t expected the longing to hold her would be so strong. He hadn’t expected her to brand his soul as thoroughly as she had.

“Please. This is hard enough for me.”

“I haven’t exactly had an easy time of it.”

“I know. Listen I’m sorry about last night.”

“You came over to apologize.”

“Not exactly.”

He arched one eyebrow at her and waited.

This was more difficult than she’d thought it would be and she realized that was because she was still afraid to really risk her heart. She took a deep breath.

“I want you, Tad.”

“Not too badly.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You’re wearing your contacts, CJ.”

“What?”

“You think I don’t know that you use that upswept hairdo and those colored contacts to hide from the world. I showed you my soul. I bared myself to you last night—confessed things to you that I’ve never said to another person and still you’re not willing to meet me as an equal.”

“Is that what you think?” she asked.

He had nothing left to lose with her. “I know it.”

“Fine,” she said. Reaching up she pulled the pins from her hair and then took out her contacts. Then she surprised him by removing every stitch of her clothing.

“This is it, Tad. The real me standing before you without any shields, without any barriers.”

He ached for her. “Why?”

“Because I’m not really living life and I can’t stand the thought that I’ll miss out on sharing my days with you.”

“Why this sudden change of heart?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and he knew how vulnerable she must feel standing naked in front of him. He wanted to pull her into his arms and protect her but first he had to be sure she wanted him to protect her.

“I was running from my feelings and the uncertainty that comes with love. But not anymore. The only thing I fear is not ever waking up with you again.”

He was humbled by her sincerity and the risk she took with her heart.

“Please say something.”

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms. She walked into them and he hugged her tight.

“I love you,” she said, standing on tiptoe and whispering into his ear. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tad scooped her up in his arms and bent to kiss her. He walked down the hall to his bedroom. He placed her in the center of his bed. “Wait here.”

He went back to the foyer and grabbed the engagement ring. He returned to find the woman he loved waiting for him. And realized deep in his soul that he’d found the kind of happiness he’d never really believed existed before this.

He felt like he’d been sucker punched by his emotions. “God, I love you, Cathy Jane.”

“Come to bed and prove it,” she said with a saucy grin.

“Not yet.” He climbed onto the bed and sat next to her hips. He ran his hand down her body from neck to belly button and back again.

Her breathing grew heavier and her skin was flushed. He saw the signs of arousal on her breasts and bent to drop short kisses on each of her nipples.

“Ah, I need you,” she said.

But he pulled back, he wanted her to be wearing his ring the next time he made her his. He pulled the ring from the box.

“Will you marry me?”

She smiled up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. “I will.”

He put the ring on her finger and kissed her deeply. He made love to her with an intensity that left them both trembling. Afterwards tucked under the covers of his bed, he held her in his arms and they made plans for the future. And Tad knew that he’d found a treasure greater than gold in the woman in his arms.

Epilogue

“N
ot bad, Mandetti,” Didi said appearing beside me.

I was standing outside Tad’s condo congratulating myself on getting another couple together. I’d had my doubts for a while that they would do it. But in the end a little angel magic had done the trick. “Hey, babe, what’d you expect from the King of Hearts.”

The angel broad moved around to stand next to me. She wore another one of her ugly dresses but this one was in a yellow color that didn’t look too bad.
Madon’
I must be getting soft.

“You’re not a capo anymore, Pasquale.”

I hated when she called me by my given name. “Maybe not like I used to be.”

“You like matchmaking,” she said.

“It beats the alternative.” Which was me going to hell. God knows I’d have deserved it if they’d sent me there.

She smiled at me. What was she up to? “Yes, it does.”

“This time wasn’t too bad except for you making me a dame. I ain’t doing that again.”

“Who says you get a choice?” Didi asked.

“Babe, you are some piece of work.”

She laughed. “Mandetti, what have I told you about calling me babe?”

“If I stop can I be a guy next time?”

“Maybe,” she said and disappeared.

That one was always trying to drive me crazy. I’d never tell her but I liked doing good deeds. CJ had needed me as a friend and I’d never really been there for anyone before. I wished I’d done it for Tess when she’d been in my life. I was sounding like a
babbeo.

But then there was something crazy about this love business. And though I’d never admit it to Didi I liked my new gig.