Cliff's Edge (15 page)

Slowly, Cliff lowered himself, stretching out until his body aligned with Ryan’s, their hard lengths pressed together. As good as it would have felt to stay right there, chest to chest, thigh against thigh, cocks nestled together, Cliff continued a slow slide down his lover’s body. Ryan’s moans spurred him on as Cliff nipped and licked his way over the tight six-pack, following the dark blond trail until he found the treasure he sought.

A rough urgency drove at Cliff, until all he knew was a desire to claim. It was as impossible to say no to this burning hunger as it would have been to stop breathing. Ryan opened his legs, the right knee bent at an angle that exposed him. Cliff groaned at the sight, and clamped his hand on Ry’s leg, guiding him to pull his leg farther onto his chest and hold it there.

With one hand on Ryan’s leg, Cliff rested his elbow on the mattress and buried his face, breathing deeply of the already familiar scent. He angled his head to take one of Ryan’s balls into his mouth. As he gently sucked on the sac of skin, Ryan moaned again, and a shiver raced through him. Cliff alternated between pulling on the tender flesh and swiping his tongue along the smooth skin behind Ry’s balls. When Ryan’s hips bucked and jerked, Cliff gripped his ass, encouraging him to roll up and give him more access.

The soft pucker of Ryan’s ass called to him, begging to be taken. With a broad swipe of tongue, he began an assault on Ryan’s pucker. He pulled the muscled cheeks apart, alternately jabbing his tongue and tapping his finger against the fleshy pucker. Cliff kept his hand on Ryan’s leg, effectively holding him in place as he inserted the tip of a finger, then licked, slicking Ryan’s ass, stretching the muscles. Finger, tongue, teeth, lips, again and again as the tight ring of muscles relaxed under his attention.

Ryan’s hips pumped as Cliff blew gently over the now moist skin then flicked his tongue out to tease again.

“God—what the hell are you doing to me?” Ryan rasped out.

“Told you. Gonna make you lose your mind.”

“Too late…want you now, Cliff. No more…”

Cliff pressed his lips to Ryan’s tight sac and laughed darkly. “Not your call this time, baby…”

Taking the begging as a good sign, Cliff rose to his knees then added lube to the already spit-slick hole. He pressed in two fingers, working them slowly, letting his knuckles drag over the sensitive ring of muscles. He continued to slide in and out, tapping against Ryan’s gland every few strokes. Cliff swirled his tongue over the head of his fat cock and lapped up the pre-cum as Ryan fell apart beneath him.

“Love sucking you…”

“Unnh…” Ryan grunted.

Feeling nearly as desperate as Rhino sounded, Cliff rose and reached for the lube once again. He poured a generous amount into his palm, stroking his own shaft, slapping it against Ryan’s crease, spreading slick everywhere.

With the broad cap pressed to the tight muscle, Cliff rasped his hand over Ryan’s shin, meeting his lover’s gaze. “Nice and easy now, honey. Push back to relax your muscle,” he said.

Ryan’s lids closed briefly as Cliff breached his ass. Sweat dotted his forehead and cheeks, and his lips parted on a soft intake of breath. Cliff murmured some nonsense words as he rubbed his hands over Ry’s legs.

“Look at me, Rhino…”

Ryan’s heavy lids rose slowly, his eyes dark with passion when they met Cliff’s.

“Ah, Cliff… Give me more…”

With full permission to move, Cliff pushed slowly in, withdrew, then sheathed himself in the hot channel once again. With every thrust of his hips, he picked up speed, his breath puffing like a steam engine.

Ryan chanted Cliff’s name each time he bottomed out, his balls slapping against Ryan’s body, and wondered which stroke would be his last. He was so close to coming, his balls were practically inside out. Yet as ready as his body was to reach completion, his mind…his heart begged for the moment to last. He’d never felt this way before—never had this connection. He couldn’t find enough words—or maybe just the right words—to convey all the emotions, the feelings burning through him, setting his very soul on fire. He felt as though he were truly inside Ry in every way possible. Looking down at his lover—just thinking the word made him smile—he knew the enormity of the sensations Ryan was experiencing. Ry’s face was like a living movie, showing every bit of lust, of need, of wanton desire. And something else—something more. Something Cliff had never dared dream he’d see, something he never believed he’d return so fully.
Love.

Leaning down, Cliff’s lips hovered over Ryan’s mouth, their breath mingling as he gripped Ryan’s cock and began to stroke in time with the rhythm of their mating.

“Can’t hold on…” Ryan gasped. The words were barely out of his mouth when his ass clamped down on Cliff’s cock. His hips stuttered as ropes of creamy white spurted from Ry, covering his hand and splattering on their stomachs.

Two more quick thrusts was all he could manage before his own orgasm lit him up from inside, sending a shower of lights behind his lids, and sending his heart into a free fall from twenty-thousand feet.

“Should have run when you had the chance, Rhino…”

Cliff stretched out over Ryan, who brought his legs up to tangle them with his, their bodies joined with the sticky proof of their mutual pleasure. The sudden tensing of the body beneath him was the only warning he got, then Ryan reared up to flip them back over. Landing on top of Cliff, Rhino took Cliff’s mouth in a sensual kiss.

“No need to run, baby,” Ryan said when he finally drew back.

Cliff blinked up at the familiar face in the unfamiliar position. “Is this just sex, Ryan? I know you said you love me, but…tell me you’re feeling the same things I am. Tell me this scares you as much as it does me…”

“It doesn’t scare me, baby. Not anymore.” He paused, as if carefully choosing his words. “It did at first. When Ty told me he thought I had feelings for you that were more than what friends usually feel for each other…I thought maybe his head injury was working against him. Because the one thing I was certain of—I wasn’t gay. Or at least I really did enjoy women. I mean that’s a thing a nearly forty-year-old man ought to know about himself. But bisexual? Somehow that freed me to really consider the suggestion. I knew I needed to do some serious soul-searching.”

Ryan nuzzled into Cliff’s neck, breathing deeply before drawing his lobe between his teeth and biting softly.

Cliff sighed when Ryan released him. Raising his face, Ryan closed his eyes and remained silent for a moment while a small smile played over his lips.

What memories were playing in Ryan’s mind? Cliff had obviously been Ryan’s first BJ…first fuck… Would he forever be haunted by his decision to drive past SEAL Beach without stopping to see Ryan? Cliff had honestly believed he’d been acting in Ryan’s best interest, but he should have known his best friend wouldn’t accept defeat.

Cliff wanted to growl at the unwelcome vision of Ryan visiting a gay club or going out with another man to test Ty’s theory—someone who wasn’t Cliff. It was the same sort of thing Rhino’d done years ago when he’d decided he liked redheads. They’d gone to every on-base club and a couple of off-base ones as well, so Rhino could search for gingers. Not an easy task, since they’d been in Yokosuka, Japan, at the time, and black had been the predominant hair color.

“Tell me you didn’t make a test run while I was…” he begged, his voice harsh. While his brain acknowledged the standard operating procedure for training before any mission, the fault lines in his heart prepared to shatter with the unwelcome news.

“While you were being an ass?” Ryan supplied. “Oh, but I did test things out.” Ryan grinned. Something in Cliff’s face must have warned him he’d gone too far, because the smile faded and he reached up to cup Cliff’s face in both hands. “Not that kind of test, baby. I told you I watched porn…and well…there might be a few new toys in the bedside drawer at home.

“There’s only been you. You think I need more proof that this is what I want? Baby, you’re the baddest ass I know. Cool Hand, right? I’ve watched you dismantle a bomb that would have taken out half a city block. Why does this scare you?”

Cliff dragged his hands along Rhino’s flanks, over his ass, then back up his spine while the words fought their way out.

“I’ve never wanted anything in my life as much as I want you. This. Us.”

Suddenly, Cliff couldn’t seem to shut his mouth. “I’ve spent the better part of twenty years looking at you, but never seeing you…never seeing the possibility of what we could have. You’re giving up everything…every-fucking-thing for me? I don’t know what to do with that—I’m not certain it’s something I deserve, but I know I don’t want it to end. I don’t want us to end.”

Ryan captured his words in a kiss that spun out and had Cliff’s cock twitching with renewed interest. He bit Cliff’s lower lip when he drew back and their gazes locked.

“This right here?” Ryan said, his thumbs stroking over Cliff’s jawline. “I want you this close. I want to look at you every day…every night…and know that you’re mine. You matter. This matters.”

Standing on legs that still shook slightly from the intensity of his second orgasm of the morning, Ryan finished soaping his body, and hoped like hell Cliff was making coffee. After the early morning drive from San Diego and then making love with Cliff—both bottom and top, thank you very much—he might just need a ten-hour nap.

Lifting his balls to rinse away the soap, Ryan winced. Damn. If he was sore, how would Cliff’s ass be feeling after the pounding it had just taken? He’d wager horse riding was off the day’s things-to-do list.

There were a lot of ways to make love, and they would try them all in time, but damn…lying on his back and pushing up into the hot silken heat of Cliff’s ass was a new personal favorite memory. Especially once Cliff’s hips began to roll in a front to back pattern that deepened Ryan’s stroke. It gave him a whole new appreciation for twerking.

A knock on the door signaled Cliff’s arrival, and Ryan quickly finished rinsing.

“Hey, did you drown in here?” Cliff asked over the pounding of the water. “I’ve got your coffee…”

“See? I knew I loved you for a reason…” Ryan said as he shut off the water.

Grabbing a thick white towel from the bar next to the shower, he stepped out of the stall and rubbed the water from his face and head. He’d intended to dry quickly, but slowed once he caught Cliff following every movement of his hands as he dragged the towel across his body.

“Dayum, Snides. You look hungry…”

The chirp of Ryan’s phone from the other room saved him from having to admit his cock might need a little more recovery time—

Wrapping the towel around his waist, he moved to the bedroom and snatched his phone from the nightstand.

“Matthews,” he said when he answered.

“You don’t call, you don’t write…”

“Hey, Draco,” he said, flopping back onto the mattress and accepting the cup of coffee Cliff offered. Their gazes lingered for a moment as Ryan switched the phone to speaker and set it on the nightstand. “Sorry about that, I’ve been busy with my retirement processing.”

“Are you clear on the shooting?” Draco asked.

“You really are out of the loop. Cliff’s clear on the shooting.
I
wasn’t there…remember? Cliff says thanks for the lawyer by the way.”

“Cliff can speak for himself, Rhino,” Cliff growled, lowering his brows in Ryan’s direction. “And yes, thanks again, Draco. The cops were cool, but Jefferson was just the right kind of smart to get the prosecutor to back down.”

“Getting you a lawyer was the least I could do, believe me. Retirement processing, Rhino? You’re turning down Six? Are you sure this is the right time? Don’t make the same mistake I did and get out before you’re ready…”

Ryan laughed. “Trust me, I’m sure. Besides we all know it was only the
opportunity
to try for Six that I turned down…there was no guarantee I’d actually make the cut. I’m completely comfortable with my decision.”

“Good. Glad to hear it.”

Ryan laughed. “Nice about-face.”

“Meh, I didn’t want to influence your decision. If you’re happy with your decision, then I’m happy for you. Which makes this conversation easier…”

“Oh, was this supposed to be difficult?” Ryan asked. He took a quick sip of coffee, careful to not burn his tongue—just in case he needed it later.

“What conversation?” Cliff asked. “Is everything okay, Draco?”

The man’s heavy sigh carried clearly over the phone. “Have you thought any more about staying on the third floor, Cliff?”

Ryan’s brows rose as he looked at Cliff. What was this? Had he and Draco made some plans while he’d been keeping Ryan at arm’s length?

Cliff’s mouth pressed into a tight straight line for an instant, then he shook his head slightly, as if Draco could see him. He stepped over to the bed and sat next to Ryan before answering. “I appreciate the offer, Draco, but like I told you before, I’m not sure I’m going back to San Diego—”

“What?” Ryan asked, his tone sharp and his stomach tightening around the coffee he’d swallowed.

“Why’s that, Snides?” Draco asked.

It was Cliff’s turn to sigh. “I wasn’t sure I’d want to go back after what happened—besides, I still don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“We’re,” Ryan snapped. “What
we’re
going to do.”

There was a pause as Ryan glared at Cliff, and they both forgot about Draco as they dove into a very private conversation.

“Okay. What
we’re
going to do,” Cliff amended. “We’ve been focused on our careers for so long…we should at least acknowledge the possibility exists this thing between us is a substitute—”

“Cliff, stop overanalyzing—”

“It’s not that. I want to give you a way out, Ryan. Entrance and egress. Six months from now—”

“I’ll still love you.”

Cliff closed his eyes for a moment, as if he were savoring the words.

“I want to believe you, Ry, really I do.” The normally pale blue-gray of his eyes shifted to storm clouds. “But, Ryan, you’ve got your own coming out to do…people you’ve known for years will know. And for me—that whole situation at the club—”