Colour Series Box Set (103 page)

The heat of the sun baking us through the windows is what wakes me. I’m covered in sweat and stuck to the couch. My shirt is soaked where Avery has draped herself over me. Her dark hair is spread over her face, I push it aside so I can see her, I’m sure only a few people have had the pleasure of waking up with her. Seeing her, exposed vulnerable and absolutely beautiful. Being back here though I don’t know how long I can stay, Callum told me his plan before he died—it’s a stupid one. I cannot imagine anything worse for the woman who has come alive with me over the past few months than being trapped in their world that way, I know Harmon won’t let it be. He’s going to try which means I’m in his way. I never planned on staying in her life and I still don’t, I just don’t want to hurt her beyond repair when I go. She is still fragile in her humanity and a small thing could shatter it all.

My fingers run through her hair, silky strands of almost black, the knots from the car and sleep snag in my fingers. I’m so hot lying here, I secretly want her to wake. I start being an ass by tickling her ear and her cheek with a piece of her hair, I have got to move it’s sweltering. At the very least, a window needs to be opened. She swats at my hand and starts to roll over a little, she opens just her blue eye and gives me the look. “You ass,” she mutters half asleep through a yawn.

“Morning, beautiful. Can I get up and open a window please, I’m dying in here.” I ask her nicely.

“Ugh. I’m sweated to you. All stuck, gross yes get up go and open a window.” She’s mortified as she shoves herself up freeing me and revealing a nice big sweaty patch on my shirt. Sometimes there’s nothing romantic about sleeping together, sometimes it’s just gross. I swing my legs over and stand up to get some air in here, opening the big sliding door to the patio outside. I take a step out into the late morning, the sun is hot and there is not a breath of wind. The vines don’t move, they’re stagnant in the humid heat of the valley. Pulling my sweaty shirt over my head and leaving it on the table, I go stand at the railing and let the sun shine on my skin. It’s there, I have to remind myself that this day is going to get sad in just a few hours. I look over my shoulder and Avery is walking towards me with coffee and a sorrowful smile on her face. I thought we had an hour or two. We stand in silence while we drink our coffee and sunshine in, this place is magnificent. I didn’t appreciate its beauty when I sneaked in before. This place is the foundation of her life, where she began and where she was destroyed.

“I’m going to shower and get changed.” She looks at me, and my heart is torn because I have one more thing she needs to face and it needs to be now.

“No. I’ll come we can have a
bath.
” Her face falls and I see the fear choking her already, she has not once since she came with me got in a bath, she has told me why and now it’s time to fix it. The last piece of the toxic love that crippled her is going to be removed and it will be today, now before we bury her past. I grab her hand in mine, her palm is sweaty and she’s shaking but trying very hard to hide it. I lead her down the passage to what I am sure was her father’s master suite, she freezes at the door and I have to yank her inside. His bed is stripped to the mattress and a blood stain is still visible on the exposed fabric. “Mathew, I can’t do this, let’s just go back to the mountain.” Oh sweet Avery. I cannot ever go back where I have been, that’s not how it works for an angel of death. “No, Avery, don’t make me angry. We’re doing this right now.” I’m firm with her, she needs this. She submits and follows me through the room to the master bath, a big stone bath sits in the very center of the room. Her fear comes to life, her monsters need to be exorcised and this tub is where we are going to do it. I’m going to make her forget why she hates a bath and make her remember it for only one thing—me. I turn on the water to fill it up and swing around to where she stands tears glisten at the corner of her eyes but she won’t let them fall. Her breaths are ragged and her fears are manifesting into panic as I stand right in front of her. Lifting her chin so she can look at me, I slowly start to undress her, each button exposes her, makes her vulnerable and even more attractive. Her body is a human contradiction, the one half dark art and images cover every bit of her and the other is the pure milky white unspoilt skin. I kiss along the line that divides her into who she is and what she is, we all have a line hers is just drawn on for me to see. I’m two very different halves sewn together with a delicate thread that seamlessly joins what I am and who I am into the quiet blessing of a peaceful end to those who desire it. Everyone has two faces, just look in the mirror you will see. “Get in the water, Angel.” I kiss her softly, giving her an instruction. Her eyes beg me to say she doesn’t have to, but I won’t. “Get in, Avery.” I leave the tap to run as she does what she is told, she doesn’t sit down just stands there in the water with her eyes down and her hands ball into fists. I remove my pants and step in with her. The water is a little too hot but I sit anyway, the burn as it turns my skin red is a reminder to me of how much this will hurt her. She’s shivering where she stands towering above me. “Come sit.” I move my legs so there is space for her between them. She turns around and sits with her back to me, curled over hugging her knees to her chest rocking back and forth. Pulling her towards me, the water makes little waves that flow back and forth for a while before they settle. I hold her as her fears seize the heart she has just learned to follow. I wait. I give her time before I take what I need and replace that fear, replace Eiran and drown the last of her torment. When I feel her body soften and the worst of her fears have left her, I know she is ready for me. Turning her around to face me, I look in her eyes. I see her defeat and now it’s time to change it back to fight. I kiss her as I slowly snake my hands around her delicate neck. It’s time she learned that rules are not meant to be followed blindly that the voice in her should still guide her. In a swift move, I force her away from me and under the water, her arms flail and nails scratch and rip at the skin on my arms her eyes are wide begging me from beneath the water to let her up for air.
Not yet.
I wait to see if she stops fighting, but she doesn’t. Her legs are now kicking out at me. There it is. All of her in one place at last, I let her go and she explodes out of the water still lashing out at me, I grab her wrists in my one hand and her face in the other. “Stop now, you have to know when to fight, when to follow your instinct and when to stop.” She’s sucking in air as she tries to stop the natural fight of being held below the water. “You can stop now, now we make this better.” Her mouth is on mine in seconds, our tongues fight her fear and anger in a furious war. She grabs my cock in her hand like a vice grip making me moan into her open mouth. Fuck. Shit. Damn. She’s fighting back, I can’t afford to lose a fight with her, not now. I grab her hand in mine and make eye contact so she knows that I still make the rules, for now. “Turn around, put your arms over the end of the tub on the floor.” I see the defiance right there in her eyes but she turns around on her knees and hangs her arms out of the bath, the water is just below the curve of her ass leaving it exposed to my hand. I smack it hard and she stiffens. “You want to defy me don’t you, Avery? You want to fight me?” I smack her again for not answering.

“Yes!” Her strangled reply comes in a hissing sound as I smack her again. “Fuck yes.”

“Why don’t you, little angel?” I rub the red flesh softly and kneel close behind her. “Why don’t you fight me?” I slide two fingers inside her and she bows her spine to let me, her thighs moving apart.

“Because I don’t
need
to fight you.” She learns so fast.

“That’s right, but sometimes you are going to have to fight.” I kiss up her spine and continue to fuck her with my fingers. I lift her so she is standing in the bath and her hands are flat on the floor outside it. Exposed, open and all mine, bending her so her belly rests on the stone side, she’s contorted into a position where she cannot move and I slide my cock inside her. It feels like heaven, she tenses as I push hard, her body slammed against the side. Water cascading onto the floor around her, I fuck her lithe body hard enough to leave bruises. Her pussy squeezes me hard as the pain brings her close to her release and all I want is to take this feeling with me forever, the feeling of her body becoming mine. I have to pull out because in my haste, I didn’t bring a condom to the bath, and Avery doesn’t need a baby, not mine and not Harmon’s.
I need to sort that quickly.
The thought enters my head, I need to protect her before I leave. The scream as she comes on my cock could shatter the mirrors on the walls, I pull out in time to come on the hand print I left on her ass. She is mine, but only for now. I lift her back into the water and turn the tap on to warm it up. We lie in there for a short while just breathing, just understanding.

“Thank you,” she whispers after a while, I know I have done everything I set out to do and now I need to start setting her free. She has been saved from herself.

AFTER THE FUNERAL,
we drink. She drinks the most I have seen in months, she clings to me as she lets the past go and realizes that her future is here now. The limbo is over. I see Harmon, watching us all day, I notice he doesn’t cry or even look sad. Harmon looks confused at the outpouring of love and emotion, the man is a hollow shell of humanity and she’s going to have to fight him on her own.
Don’t trust him my little angel. It is not my job to tell her the things I know, but I will make sure she can fight fair.
I had planned for this, I knew what he wanted from her and I came ready. After they all leave and she collapses on the bed in her childhood room, I get my bag and search out the vile I brought with me. I inject the sleeping queen with contraceptive. At least I know she is safe for four months, I will ask Owen to step in and help me when it wears off, because I’ll be long gone. The following day is spent wandering around the estate with her telling me about it, the boarded up restaurant that was her mother’s. Twenty-five years later, it’s falling apart and looks like a scene from a bad thriller, she sits on the little deck swinging her legs over the edge. Her sadness follows us all day, I’m glad she’s feeling this, it shows me she can actually deal with life now. “This is the spot where my Mom told Rowan she was pregnant, this place was her dreams come true.” The absence of her mother in her life was a huge part of the imbalance in her personality. Rowan never got over the heartache of her death and in turn couldn’t be free to love his child. Callum would share stories with me over the time I treated him and especially after he decided he was not going to fight any longer. I feel like I had a window into their lives through his eyes, I know just how isolated she was. She spends a lot of the day in silent reflection. I just stay close to her because that’s all she needs today. “Harmon asked me to go back to work.” She says as we walk down the gravel path to the graveyard. “And, do you want to go back to work?” She has to make her own choices now, I can guide her but she has to decide her path forward.

“I should, but I don’t know what I want anymore.” She reaches for my hand and the connection is warm and it feels right, us here, in this place together. “Callum always wanted me to be the one, then I read his letter and I felt like I have no choice. Add that to my mother’s letters telling me to choose my path and find what makes my heart sing and I think maybe I wasn’t meant to be like them.” She’s thinking with more than just her head at last, she’s considering her feelings and what she needs. I have no doubt that she will return to their world—who am I kidding—our world at some point. I just want her to do it on her terms and with a heart that isn’t made of stone.

We end our day on the patio with her mother’s wine and a simple dinner. I know I have to go, yet I’m clinging to the idea of staying just a little longer, I keep saying just a bit more. It’s wrong and it is giving her false hope in the love she has for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love all my patients and I have always seen her as that, a patient, a case. I love her deeply, but I never have been or will be in love with her.
I was sent her for a reason and a season and both have passed, I have another job waiting for me far from here.