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Authors: Jeanne McDonald

BOOK: Compass
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The silence was killing him, to the point he could no longer take it. “Everything okay?” he asked, turning to her.

He could tell by the look in her eyes that the smile she was wearing was forced. “Yeah. I take it that was Reagan on the phone?”

His hands balled into fists. How could he be so blind? After Declan had mouthed off back at the airport, of course Alexis would question his relationship with Reagan. “It was. I was supposed to meet up with her tonight to watch the game and it slipped my mind.”

Even her fake smile started to falter. “Because of me.”

Ryan slipped his tie off and tossed it in the backseat. Alexis was stiff, her demeanor cautious, a complete opposite of how she’d been before the call. He reached for her hand, and while she let him take it, she didn’t clasp his in return. Her trust in him had wavered. His heart sank in his chest. “Lex, it’s not what you think. It’s kind of our ritual. She and I both travel a lot, so when we’re in town at the same time, we tend to get together. Ray is just like another one of the guys.”

“Tell me about her,” Alexis inquired.

“Um, well,” he started. Nervousness clouded his tone. “There’s not much to tell. Her name’s Reagan Summers, and she’s a sports writer for The Dallas Morning News.”

Alexis scrunched up her face. “C’mon, Ryan. You can do better than that.”

“I don’t hear you telling me about Jenna,” he snapped.

She pressed her lips together. “Jenna and I have been best friends since our freshmen year of college. She was in my Ethics class and we bonded over a mutual crush on the professor. She’s a pediatrician and has terrible taste in men. Now, tell me about Reagan.”

Ryan let out a hesitant sigh. “We met several years ago at an IronMan event. She was writing an article on a local guy who was participating. When she couldn’t find him, she interviewed me instead. We sort of hit it off.”

“And you started dating?”

“No. Ray and I have never dated.”

“But you
have
slept together?”

His jaw went slack. “Um…”

“I figured as much,” Alexis chuckled. “I’ve been there before.”

Ryan felt a twinge of jealousy prickle under his skin. He hated the idea of someone having something so casual with Alexis. She deserved to be cherished. “No. It only happened once,” he admitted, “and I knew then it wasn’t right. I care for Ray. She’s one of my best friends, but that’s where it ends - friendship. I’ve never felt anything for her beyond that.” Ryan rushed his fingers through his hair. “Yes, we crossed a line we shouldn’t have in a moment of weakness. But it’s a line I won’t cross again.”

“A moment of weakness?”

He took in a deep breath. “She’d broken up with her asshole of a boyfriend that night. We had one too many drinks. One thing led to another and well…” He dropped his eyes.

Alexis linked her fingers in his, her true smile returning. “Always the gentleman.”

“I wasn’t that night.”

She gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m sure you were. She’s lucky to have you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, a hint of disappointment shook his timber.

“Now, take me home and go spend time with her. I’ve stolen enough of your time tonight.”

Ryan jerked his head up, his heart sinking in his chest. “No. We’re going to eat.”

Alexis shook her head. “Nah. I’ll order a pizza and you’re going to your friend’s place.”

His shoulders sagged. “Really. I want to spend time with you. I haven’t seen you in fifteen years.”

She patted the tops of their linked fingers. “We can hang out later. Go.” A tremulous note hung in her voice, but her stubbornness was ever present.

With regret in his heart, he did as she asked. But instead of going to see Reagan, he headed home. There was no way he’d enjoy a burrito and a baseball game now. Not when he felt so terrible. Not when he wanted nothing more than to find a ladder and crawl into Alexis’ bedroom window and make the ache in his chest go away.

Once he had a shower and unpacked, he flopped down on his bed. Declan wasn’t home, so he figured he’d headed over to Reagan’s to watch the game. Ryan reached for his phone on the nightstand and checked out his Facebook page. Alexis had posted the pictures of her new place. He chuckled at the candid photo she’d taken of him in her living room. His tie was skewed and his grin was wide, but that silly picture was now his favorite of himself all because she’d taken it.

Exhausted, he made his own post, making sure to tag her in it, then shut off his phone. He closed his eyes and allowed the memory of finding Alexis on the plane consume him. In no time, sleep took him, and in his dreams he was back in that room with her, where he felt he should be.

 

 

Where the sun had once shimmered, casting its heated glow on the city, now hung a heavy moon, hazed by drifting puffs of clouds. Headlights brightened the road as Ryan pulled away. Alexis slinked down to the floor, resting her chin on the windowsill. Her eyes followed his vehicle until it was out of sight. A loud thud shook the walls as her head made contact with the sturdy plaster.

She pulled her knees to her chest, willing him to come back, even though she knew he wouldn’t. She’d sent him away. Deep down, she knew she’d done the right thing in doing so. He had plans, and had the tables been reversed she knew he would’ve done the same thing. The fact that he was back in her life was enough, more than she could’ve hoped or asked for.

The weight of her heart thumped in slow motion reverberating off the walls in her chest, echoing in her ears. In the dimly lit room, her mind played tricks on her; casting a glow of Ryan before her. He wore the same pained expression on his face he had when she forced him to leave. She wanted to erase that look, to bring back his smile. She hoped spending time with Reagan would do just that.

Bright headlights reflected in her window. She rolled back to her knees, checking through the slats of the blinds. A sliver of hope beckoned her, praying he’d turned back around, but the car kept on. It wasn’t him. In a huff of frustration, she pulled herself off of the cold floor and flipped on the lights. The bags she’d wrangled into her apartment, refusing Ryan’s assistance, scattered around her. She kicked the bedding bag, watching it slide toward the staircase, stopping short of the bottom step.

She grabbed the remaining bags, balanced them on both arms, and wobbled to her kitchen. She thrust the bags onto the counter. She began to unpack them and put everything away in the pantry. A tender smirk lit her face when she pulled a package of Cracker Jack from one of the bags. Her fingers brushed along the white lettering, as her mind drifted back to Ryan.

Wonder what he’s doing right now.

She let out a little sigh, shoving her hand in her pocket for her phone. With a slide of her finger, the phone came to life. It took her no time to open the pictures she’d taken of her apartment. She’d meant to post them to Facebook before leaving with Ryan but the thought had slipped her mind. A small bubble of laughter filled her chest at the sight of him in her living room. He looked as if he belonged. Moments later, she posted the pictures with a quick note to the world that she was at her new home. Once the pictures were uploaded, she finished filling her pantry and called for a pizza.

While she enjoyed her dinner, she received a text message from Jenna.

 

Who’s the hottie?

 

Alexis wasn’t surprised that Jenna noticed nothing more than the pilot lingering in her living room.

 

He came with the place.

 

Almost instantly, Alexis’ phone chirped with a new message.

 

I’m on the next plane to Texas if they’re giving those away!

 

Alexis barked in laughter.

She typed out,

 

All you have to do is pick the age, weight, and size.

 

The phone started to ring. Alexis accepted the call to find Jenna’s pretty face staring back at her. She had bright green eyes offset by a long, slender nose, and her skin was covered in freckles. Her blonde hair was pulled up and a huge, devious grin lighted her lips. “Penis size?” Jenna greeted.

Alexis grinned, making her way to the sofa, plopping down. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on top, holding her phone out in front of her.

She’d known Jenna for over a decade. Their friendship budded over their mutual hate/crush on their professor. While he was hot, he was also a massive asshole with an arrogant chip on his shoulder. Most of their time was spent making fun of his quirks or analyzing his dashing good looks. From there, they became inseparable.

“Pretty sizable,” Alexis joked, recalling a teenage Ryan in swim trunks and how she’d often wondered what he looked like without them.

Jenna pursed her lips. “Tease. What time is it there?”

“I’m only an hour behind you, woman. You act like I moved overseas.”

A flicker of sadness crossed Jenna’s face. “It feels that way. I know I told you to go, but I need you here. It sucks not having a wingman or in your case, wing woman.”

Alexis snorted at the irony behind her best friend’s choice of words.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“Nothing. Nothing. So, who’s the lucky guy this week?”

Where Alexis was cautious of men, after all she’d seen first hand what they could do to a woman, Jenna jumped right in, not caring what happened to her heart. To Jenna, each guy was trustworthy until he proved himself otherwise, which they always did. It was one of the many endearing qualities Alexis loved about her friend, even if she had to be the one to pick up the pieces after a guy shattered Jenna’s heart.

“You remember Allen down in the lab?”

“No!” Alexis gasped.

“Yep.”

Alexis covered her face, shaking her head.

“You know I can see your reaction,” Jenna smacked.

Alexis dropped her hand, her face stone cold. “And you know he’s got a girlfriend, right?”

“He did. They broke up.”

Alexis bounded off the couch. She held the phone out in front of her, as she walked toward the stairs. On her way up, she grabbed the two pillows off the floor that Ryan had insisted on her buying and the bedding bag. “When? Because the last I heard he had full intentions of proposing.”

Jenna waved her hand in front of her face. “That was a rumor, but he told me he dumped her. Now, I have a date with him tomorrow night, and I need you here to keep me in line.”

Alexis tossed the bag and pillows on her new mattress, and her phone beside it. She unzipped the bag and poured its contents out on the bed. “Like I could help you. With or without me, you’ll be wrapped around his dick before the night’s over.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jenna covered her mouth, hiding her snicker. “So, really, who’s the guy in your apartment? I noticed he was in uniform, so I assumed you went back to your old ways.”

A light blush crept across Alexis’ face. “My old ways?” she squeaked.

“Yeah. We both know how you had a thing for pilots in college. Remember that one in Vegas. Although my favorite will always be the Cancun guy. Damn he was sexy.”

Alexis glared down at her phone. “I wasn’t that bad!”

Jenna inspected her nails. “I’m not the one who’s been in Texas all of what, eight hours, and already had a hot, sexy pilot in her apartment. So, spill the beans, sister.”

Alexis released a soft, nervous laugh. “Fine. If you must know, I did hang out with a few pilots today.” Alexis figured she’d throw Declan in the mix to give Jenna a thrill. At the thought of Declan, she reached into her jeans and pulled out the napkin he’d written his number on. She held it up for Jenna to see. “One even gave me his number.”

“Fuck me. I’m jealous.”

She dropped the napkin on the bed beside the phone. “Oh, stop it. You’re about to get your groove on with Allen.”

“So. You have two pilots. Wait.” Jenna shook her head. “There was only one guy in the picture. Which one was he and why did you only get one of their numbers?” Jenna rambled.

Alexis smacked her hand over her eyes. “Shit. I meant to get the other one’s number. It totally slipped my mind. And he’s the important one.”

“The important one?” Jenna quirked a brow. “There’s one that’s already important? Who are you and what did you do with Alexis York?”

Here came the moment of truth for Alexis. She nervously cleared her throat. “You, um, remember that guy I told you about from Edenton?”

“Ryan Fisher,” Jenna intoned, her head bouncing from side to side. “How could I forget? You talked about him incessantly the first year of school. He was the only other guy you talked about aside from Doctor Fuckable.”

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