On second thought, Ram knew I would never forgive him if he hurt Bliss. He was probably taking good care of her. I should be grateful.
So why did I feel worried instead?
Shock gave me a hand to help me up. “He said you took Pique. Good choice.”
I didn’t want to talk about it. When I thought about Pique, that nice floaty feeling in my stomach turned to lead. “Let’s go downstairs and see what’s up with those two.”
Shock stopped me. “The question is, what’s up with you and Ram? Did you really have sex with him, Allay?”
“I did when I thought he was human. And again in the park after I killed Pique. I don’t know what came over me. I was about to fission, and he was there, so strong and steady. . . .”
“Did he take advantage of you?” she demanded.
“No, nothing like that. It started innocently. He was giving me energy to counteract Pique’s bile—it was awful going down. Really awful. I felt tainted. And Ram was being so sweet to me. It just . . . snowballed.”
“Into public sex in the park?” Shock’s doubts were clear. “Allay, you have to stay away from him. He’s dangerous. He’s manipulating you, playing you like a fiddle. From what you’ve said, he’s been around for almost four thousand years. You pick up a thing or two about human psychology when you’re that old.”
“He could have let me die in that cage, Shock. Dread was killing me. But Ram revealed himself to save me. Why would he do that if he didn’t care about me a little bit?” I heard the pleading in my own voice and despised myself for it.
“He found out about the ERI machine, so he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide any longer. Like all of us. You told him, didn’t you?”
“No. I don’t think he knows about that.” I would have to tell him. I owed him that.
Shock grumbled. “He uses people. He used you over and over again. Who knows what he wants from you?”
I didn’t like it, but it made sense. Ram had an ulterior motive from the first moment he had met me. “I’ll be careful,” I promised. “I don’t want to get involved with him, that’s for sure. I only just got free from Vex.”
“Good.” Shock finally looked relieved. “I thought you were losing it for a second there.”
Maybe I was. I didn’t know what to think of Ram.
Together Shock and I went downstairs. Opening the door, I heard the clink of the balls on the pool table. It was midafternoon, so enough light came through the windows that we didn’t need to switch on the overheads.
Ram turned as soon as he heard the bolt click. I had to adjust my eyes to see his shadowed face. His expression was cautious, hopeful. It made my heart twist traitorously.
Bliss finished her shot, crying out in glee when the ball went into the pocket. “So you’re finally up,” she said over her shoulder. “I was getting sick of waiting. But the big guy here wouldn’t let me leave.”
Bliss didn’t look like me anymore—her hair was longer, blonder, and curling in a mass down her back. Her eyes were bigger and blue, exaggerated for a striking effect, as was her figure. I wondered what they had been doing all these hours. That much pool would get awful tiresome.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I told her. “It’s not safe for a rogue demon on the streets.”
Bliss smiled, genuinely happy. “But there’s so much I want to see.”
“I know you’re dying to leave. But you can always come back if you need a safe place to hang out,” I offered.
“Allay!” Shock protested. “You can’t keep her here. New demons are unstable. There’s no telling what she might do.”
“Why not? I’m up and shielded now. She’s not going to be able to hurt me.”
I noticed Ram wasn’t saying anything. Bliss took her next shot and missed. Her pout was worthy of a photo shoot. Ram moved around the table and lined up his own shot. He made it with a bank into the corner pocket.
“Ram has to go, too,” Shock insisted, her hands on her hips. “Revel called. He says there’s talk of forming a posse to take him down. If they find out he’s here, they’ll storm the place.”
Smoothly, Ram sank the eight ball. “I’m not going to endanger Allay. It’s time for me to be leaving, anyway. I just wanted to wait until she was up.”
Bliss clapped her hands at his win, as excited as if she were the victor. “You’re really good, Ram.”
“I’ve had lots of practice,” he said.
That reminded me of what Shock had said. Ram was ancient. How could I tell what his true motives were?
I wanted to thank him for helping me, but the words stuck in my throat. He had helped me kill Pique. It had saved me, yes. But I wasn’t sure if it hadn’t destroyed me, too. I couldn’t pretend to be human anymore. I had birthed a demon.
To Bliss, I said, “Why don’t you stay here for a while until I talk to Dread? I want to see where we stand with the Vex demons.”
I wanted to offer the same thing to Ram, but I couldn’t. He didn’t need my protection.
“I’d like it a lot better if the bar was open,” Bliss said thoughtfully.
Shock grimaced. “That reminds me—the police came by earlier. I didn’t answer the door. We should get your story straight before you talk to them.”
I had intended to ensnare the prophet after I was gone. Perhaps I could still swing something. . . . Surely exposing Dread’s machinations was the best way to keep him too busy to pull a demon Revelation. Now I had all the time in the world to deal with him.
I giggled, then giggled some more at their expressions. “I know. I can’t help it. But I’m not going to die. I can hardly believe it.”
“You don’t know how glad I am about that,” Shock said fervently.
“Me, too,” Ram said quietly.
“What about the bar?” Bliss asked.
The Den was
my
bar. I could hardly believe it. I touched the curved back of a chair, worn smooth through the years by many hands. I could get Lolita and Darryl and Pepe to come back. My patrons would gather around me again.
“Okay, Bliss. We’ll open up after I deal with the cops.” And make sure Mackleby wouldn’t try another drive-by.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Shock asked. “What if you get rushed by Goad’s horde?”
“Then we’ll deal with it, like I always have. Come on, Shock. It’ll be fun. Let’s celebrate my return from the dead.”
Shock smiled in spite of herself. “Well, then, I’m calling in sick. I’m not leaving you alone here with only
her
for backup.”
It was a sign of her devotion that she was willing to give up work for me. There was no need for it, but I wanted Shock here for my celebration.
Ram was the only one who wasn’t smiling. He put away his pool cue. “It’s time for me to go. I’ll head out the back in case anyone’s watching.”
I wanted to ask him to stay, but Shock was clearly unsettled by him. No wonder. She had spent the past few days remembering the terror of a demon attacking her with no warning, with no hope of resistance. Ram had come within seconds of killing her. Only blind luck had saved her.
So I nodded helplessly. I lifted my hand in a wave good-bye. It seemed like too much and not nearly enough at the same time, especially with Shock shooting daggers of hatred at him.
As the back door closed behind Ram, she let out a noisy sigh. “Thank the Lord, he’s gone! Tell him to stay away from you, Allay. No good can come of him.”
“He can come back anytime,” Bliss said philosophically. “We wouldn’t be able to sense him. He could be anyone.”
Shock looked stricken, and I felt bad that Bliss had reminded her. It wasn’t something I could forget. Not now. “Don’t worry, Shock. He promised he won’t target any demon unless they hurt humans.”
“I don’t see why you believe him,” Shock said.
I thought about it: the way he had looked at me the first time we made love, such intimate strangers; the way he had saved me from Dread; how he had given me his tenderness in the park so I wouldn’t birth a monster.
“I do believe him,” I finally said.
“But you can’t trust him, Allay. Don’t tell me you trust him.”
I hesitated, and it was Bliss who blurted out, “Of course she trusts him. I should know better than anyone.”
“I don’t know,” I equivocated, unsure in the face of Shock’s disbelief—and hurt.
“You can’t dictate to the heart,” Bliss said philosophically. “The heart wants what it wants.”
“Does your heart want him?” Shock asked in dismay.
“I don’t know. I barely know him. But he did save my life. Three times, if you count helping me consume Pique.” I wasn’t sure whether I regretted that or not.
Bliss nodded agreement, while Shock was silenced. She didn’t like it, but in truth, there was nothing we could do about Ram. He would go where he wanted and do what he wanted. Because of him, everything had changed in the demon world. We would have to wait to see what happened.
I would see Ram again; I was sure of it. Meanwhile, I had all the time in the world to figure him out.
I also had time to forge the alliances I would need to protect myself. I already had Shock and Revel on my side. Somewhere in the past few days, I’d learned to trust Revel again. And I thought Bliss might turn out to be an ally, as well. Maybe I could bring Mystify into the fold. He owed me one for saving him, and it could be useful to have a demon around who could mimic others.
With a solid group of demons working together, we could even repel a horde if we needed to. We could make our own way without having to be beholden to some overbearing overlord.
I was ready. It was finally time to start living again.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
S. L. Wright
has lived in New York City for more than twenty years, exploring every part of the city, from rooftops to underground tunnels. She moved to Manhattan to get her master’s degree in fine arts, and not long afterward met her husband, Kelly Beaton. Together they have spent the past decade restoring a big brick house on the edge of Bushwick, Brooklyn. Wright is an activist at heart, saving wild cats in the city as well as helping people who are persecuted for their personal choices.
