Cut Too Deep (31 page)

Hadley felt uncomfortable when they joined hands to say Grace and hoped they didn’t ask her to lead. She and Miller had never discussed religion, but given his upbringing, she wasn’t surprised he was Catholic. Her discomfort stemmed more from her own arguments with God throughout her young life than actual prayer.

When Miller’s father spoke the prayer, Hadley listened intently. His words came out poetically as he expressed his gratitude for their meal, their livelihood, the family that couldn’t be with them, and a new member of their family joining them. Hadley wondered for a moment if someone in the family was having a baby, and then it hit her that Miller’s father spoke of her. She’d been in their home for only a few hours and they were thanking the Lord for her. Tears welled in her eyes as, “Amen,” was said in unison.

Hadley ran a finger under both eyes and made eye contact with Miller’s father. She smiled sincerely and mouthed, “Thank you.”

He replied by holding his hands over his heart and extending them in her direction.

Vito held up his wine, the glass barely visible behind his large hand. The family joined him. “La Famiglia.” Vito smiled at Hadley. “We are blessed to have you join us. We give you our love and our loyalty, for our hearts are always with family.” With his free hand, Vito patted his chest several times. “Salute!”

“Salute!” Echoed all around her before everyone sipped their wine.

Hadley felt overwhelmed, but deliriously happy. She tipped her glass and thanked Vito. Miller reached over and kissed her cheek, whispering sweet things in her ear about love and family, the only two things she’d ever wanted in her life, but never thought she would have. And now she sat among these people, who were basically strangers, and they welcomed her with open arms. She welcomed them, too, accepting them for the kind hearts they were.

“Now let’s see if she can hold her wine,” Otto joked, filling her glass.

“She’s Italian! Of course she can hold her wine,” Quinn responded.

Hadley laughed nervously, hoping she could as it seemed Miller’s family refilled glasses at will. She would need to keep track so she didn’t end up humiliating Miller.

As the family went about piling food on their plates, conversations were held at different ends of the table.

“So, Hadley, what part of New York are you from?” Alex asked.

Hadley ran a finger over the rim of her wine glass. Miller took her other hand under the table reassuringly. She thought about her conversation with Dr. LeClair and how she didn’t need to share every detail.

“I moved around a lot as a kid, but now I live in SoHo.”

“Oh, I love SoHo,” Julianna said. “One of my favorite boutiques is there.”

“Threads!” Hadley and Julianna shouted simultaneously.

“Yes! Oh, they have the cutest things. Half my wardrobe is from there.”

“They do have nice things.” Hadley agreed, and although she browsed the store many times, the price tags had prevented her from purchasing anything.

Alex asked, “Are your parents still in New York?”

Her heart sputtered, but Miller squeezed her hand and she relaxed.

“No. Both my parents passed away when I was young.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“We hear you work for Paul,” Otto said. “That must fucking suck.”

Hadley had to turn a cheek and cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

“Otto!” Katherine scolded.

“Fuck… I’m only kidding.” Otto grinned sheepishly, his dimple large, like Miller’s.

“She does work for me,” Paul acknowledged, completely ignoring Otto. “And she’s damn brilliant!”

Hadley snapped her head around in shock. Not normally a complimentary boss, Paul’s words took her by surprise.

“Thank you, Paul.”

Paul waved his hand dismissively.

“Miller tells me you’re a dancer,” Noemi chimed in.

“Oh, I always wanted to be a dancer,” Miller’s cousin, Adele, added, “but I stunk.”

Vito’s heavy laugh filled the room. “I wish you would have admitted that before I spent a small fortune on those fucking lessons–uh.”

“Dad!” Adele admonished, at the same time as Noemi. Another dot connected for Hadley. Adele was Vito’s daughter.

Adele shot a glance over to her daughter. “Marina dances, though, and she’s wonderful. Worth every penny.”

Marina blushed. “Mom, stop. You’re embarrassing me.”

“What’s your favorite?” Hadley asked the auburn haired cutie.

Marina’s face lit up and she smiled. “Ballet.”

Hadley returned her smile. “Mine too.”

“Really?” Hadley nodded. Marina’s nose scrunched up before she said, “It’s so hard, but once you figure it out, you never want to stop.”

Hadley felt the sting of resentment. Not toward Marina, but rather for being kept from her dream.

“Then don’t,” Hadley said to the little girl. “Never stop dancing.”

Marina’s smile spread her face and she nodded her head. “I won’t…never.”

Hadley brought her eyes back to the table. Miller leaned over and whispered in her ear, “You’re amazing.”

Hadley beamed. The environment–strangers, and personal questions – typically terrified her, but with Miller’s family, she didn’t feel anxiety bearing down on her. She felt love and peace, a contentment she cherished.

Miller sensed how comfortable Hadley was around his family. He couldn’t contain his smile. His family was important to him, and she fit in perfectly. He’d listened to jealous cries from Otto, Aggi, and Quinn outside about how they should have found her first. The rest of his family sang praises of her beauty and charming nature. Family functions were a constant argument between him and Theresa. Miller’s wife liked his family fine, but she was either too loaded to attend or too busy searching for her next score. The only thing Hadley ever searched for was a family, and now she had one.

After dessert of Tiramisu and Cannoli’s, Hadley and Katherine helped Noemi clear the table and do the dishes. While Noemi washed, Hadley rinsed and Katherine towel dried.

“Did he tell you about his wife?” Noemi asked flatly.

Katherine gasped.

The plate in Hadley’s hand slipped from her grasp and splashed into the water. Thankfully, it wasn’t broken and she apologized profusely. Hadley feared this conversation was coming. Someone in Miller’s family had to like Theresa, and it was Hadley’s luck it would be his mother. Italian men were known to be mamma’s boys, and Hadley didn’t care if it was stereo-typing. Miller had always spoken dotingly of his mother. She was screwed.

Hadley left the plate in the water and gripped the counter. Katherine watched with wide eyes.

“Yes. He told me everything.” Hadley took a deep breath in preparation for an argument. “I know you probably…”

“Good!” Noemi interrupted. “I’m glad to hear that. I made it very clear to my son that he wasn’t to disrespect you by bringing you into our home before he was completely honest with you about what that bitch had put him through. I told him if he didn’t tell you, I would use my size six to kick him in the ass.”

All three women laughed, although it was hard to imagine Miller being intimated by his barely five foot mother. Then again, his feisty mother definitely projected the image of a woman you didn’t want to cross.

“Thank you. I appreciate that, Mrs. Genetti. You’ve raised a gentleman.”

Noemi waved a dish rag in the air.

“Oh, now there, you call me Noemi, and I raised an asshole, but he’s softer with you around. I should thank you. I enjoy seeing my son happy. It’s been a long time. Now, you ladies go join the party. I’ll finish up in here.”

The distant hills hid the setting sun. A fire raged in the backyard fire-pit and the family circled around it. Hadley found Miller sprawled out in an Adirondack chair, his legs slack with a glass of wine between them. He smoked a cigar. When she approached, his hooded eyes met hers, traveling languidly up and down her body. She flushed. He obviously lost count of his glasses of wine. Miller set the glass next to the chair. He pulled Hadley into his lap, brushing his lips along her jaw before nipping at her earlobe. Hadley smelled the wine with a hint of cinnamon from the cigar on his breath.

“You’re playful.”

“I missed you,” Miller whispered in her ear, his words longing.

Hadley pulled back and smiled at the man she loved as he brought the cigar to his lips. He took a few puffs. The smoke ribbons entered each of his nostrils and then he slowly exhaled through his mouth. The process was sensual and her eyes stayed on his full mouth, her mind running rampant with lust-filled thoughts.

Miller’s fingers threaded in her hair, stopping behind her head. He fisted a ball of hair and pulled her close, his stubble grazing her cheek.

“If you don’t stop staring at my mouth, I’m going to take you upstairs and fuck you in one of the ten bedrooms, or all of them.”

His words set fire to her blood. Hadley whimpered softly, and, on the inside, she may have even been raising her hand, and screaming, “Yes, please.”

Drunk Miller was dangerous, like elevator Miller, but Hadley was undeniably drawn to that side of him. She no longer feared the lust she felt for him. She trusted him and welcomed his advances, but she didn’t want their first time together to be in his parents’ home.

With a long sigh, Hadley turned in the chair, resting against his chest, her body warm from the wine, the fire, and the man sitting behind her.

They stayed like that for hours, listening to the family talk, except for Adele, who left with the kids, and Dominic and Vinny, who stayed inside to play cards.

As the night progressed, a few things became clear to Hadley about Miller’s family. The more they drank, the louder they became. The louder they became, the more she enjoyed them. And, lastly, the Lorino family preferred one adjective;
Fuck
, and they could use it to describe anything.

Slowly, Hadley figured out the uncles. Of the older four, she could identify Vito and Alex, but still confused Gabe and Theo. The younger ones, she had down.  Otto had the dimple like Miller’s and the foulest mouth. Aggi had longer hair and tattooed arms. Quinn’s eyes were lighter, almost gold, and his nose had been broken at some point. Hadley knew all of the wives by name, but she still wasn’t sure which uncle they were married to, and none of them were sitting with their husbands to help her out.

When the fire dwindled to a bed of brilliant violet and amber coals, the guests politely began excusing themselves.  Quinn, Aggi, and Otto were spending the night because they were in no condition to drive home. Hadley thought she could drive fine, but Noemi insisted they stay in one of the guest rooms.

Hadley drew the covers to the bed they would be sleeping in. She tried not to stare as Miller unashamedly stripped to his boxer briefs, but found it impossible to pull her eyes away. They spent many nights together, but this was the first time she’d seen his bare chest. Though probably another ridiculous stereo-type, Hadley expected him to have more hair. There was a small amount between two rounded and perfectly defined pecks. As her eyes traveled over his sculpted six-pack, she discovered more hair that started below his navel, and descended lower before disappearing under the waistband of his boxers. She chewed her lip as her eyes wandered back up the raw masculinity before her and stopped on his face. Hungry dark eyes greeted her.

“What did I tell you about looking at me like that?”

Hadley gulped and immediately excused herself to the bathroom.

Miller lay on the bed, battling his conscience. He promised not to take advantage of her, but he’d had a lot to drink, and she teased him for most of the evening. He didn’t want to wait any longer to hear his name leave her lips in a cry of pleasure.

Hadley clutched the edge of the counter and leaned forward. She stared into her eyes, readiness reflecting back at her. She wanted to be with him. It had taken Hadley twenty-six years, but she was finally accepting the love she deserved from a man she thought worthy of her trust. She also accepted he wouldn’t hurt her, nor would he disappoint her. Maybe everything in her life had led her to this point and to this man. Perhaps her experiences made it easier to understand his past and to welcome his family.

Given their room was at the opposite end of the house from his parents, Hadley wasn’t worried they would hear them. In truth, she had no worries at all. She was ready to let him love her, to give everything to him.

Hadley inhaled and opened the bathroom door to the gentle sounds of snoring. She decided waking him would be wrong. Although she had no doubts sex with Miller, even drunk sex, would be amazing, his slumber felt like a sign they should wait. Hadley took off her shoes and jeans before slipping under the covers. She turned her back to him, the room spinning slightly. She had more to drink than she thought. His arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her close.

“I’m sorry,” Miller whispered, before dozing back to sleep.

Hadley sighed, wondering if he was sorry he fell asleep on her or for pressuring her. Maybe it was both. Regardless, his apology relaxed her. Her love for Miller was immeasurable. Her dreams of love had come true and her nightmares were slowly fading away.