Dangerous Temptations (17 page)

I continued moaning and panting in response, unable to reply.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Let me hear you…tell me how good it feels.”

“So good…yes!” I screamed. I couldn’t really speak; the sensation was too overwhelming. My body had taken over and it was about to come all over him. For the third time.

“That a girl…” He pumped faster as I screamed his name, my body tightening all around him. I dug my nails harder into his ass and back as my toes curled in complete ecstasy. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he said, thrusting once more, going deeper inside before he growled out my name and released inside me.

My body felt relaxed. Too relaxed. My arms fell to the bed in surrender as he pressed his mouth to me, slowly entwining his tongue with mine. I felt him slowly move out of me and lay on his side next to me, rubbing his fingers against my cheek soothingly.

“You’re something else, Mac.”

“What does that mean?” I turned and faced him, smiling.

“I’m not sure,” he said, laughing to himself. “It means…I’m captivated. Completely.”

“Well, don’t get attached,” I tried to respond seriously, but it came out in giggles. I couldn’t concentrate. My mind was going fuzzy, the alcohol burning through me. He lowered his hand and grabbed my hip, pulling me onto my stomach and half-way on top of him.

I wasn’t sure how long we lay there, but soon, I heard my stomach growling. I fell in and out of consciousness, but I never fully fell asleep. “Would you like me to order you some food?” he asked, teasingly. “Or can I talk you into something else?”

He rolled me over on my back and climbed on top of me. “You’re an animal if you can go again…” I said in between his kisses. My body responded to him immediately, arching up to feel him against me.

“I just was coming to kiss you…you’re the one reaching for more,” he mocked. My hand moved down his body and gripped him in my palm. I hadn’t been able to feel him in between my fingers yet and I was begging to. His skin was smooth and firm. I could feel him growing harder in my hand, and I couldn’t help but want more.

“I can’t help it…you just feel so fucking good,” I admitted. He brought his lips back to mine, pushing his tongue in deeper as I sped up the pace. I let him slide up and down in my hand as his mouth assaulted me.

I released a moan, my body burning for him to be back inside me again. I didn’t know what it was about him, but I couldn’t get enough.

He broke the kiss and when our eyes met, he demanded, “Roll over.”

I did as he said, rolling to my stomach so my ass was facing him. Normally, I’d feel self-conscious, but between the alcohol and adrenaline rush, I only felt desire.

“Good god,” I heard him growl. “That ass is fucking perfect.” He dipped his head down, slowly and torturously kissing the length of my spine. “You taste incredible everywhere. Nothing will ever compare or satisfy my craving now.” I felt his lips curl up against my skin.

“Well, that’s unfortunate,” I chuckled, raising my hips up to meet him.

“Not even my favorite…”

He didn’t finish…he bent down and bit my ass. I yelped in surprise but found it more pleasurable than painful. He kissed over the bite and then grabbed my hips, pushing my ass out even further.

“Don’t move,” he demanded. “This is perfect.” He ran his hand down my spine and over the curves of my cheeks. He bent down again and kissed me, moaning and groaning as he devoured my skin.

I felt him position himself behind me as he teased my opening with the tip of his cock. I pushed my ass out, needing him inside me. “Greedy,” he taunted. I smiled as he continued moving it up and down my slit, making me wetter and wetter. I was already wet, but now I could feel myself dripping all over him.

“Alex…” I pleaded, trying to push myself down on him.

“Yes, sweetheart? Tell me what you want…” he probed.

“I want you…hard. I need it…you,” I confessed. It was exhilarating begging for it. I was willing to beg him for anything at this point. I was craving it, aching desperately for him to fuck me.

He gently pushed inside but stopped before he was all the way in. He was enjoying making me squirm, getting off on not getting me off. “Alex!” I screamed. It felt like torture now.

“You keep screaming my name like that, sweetheart, I’ll fuck you any way you ask, baby.” His voice was calm, but firm. It was rough and deep, and drove me absolutely fucking crazy.

“Alex….” I begged. “I’ll do anything.”

“I love a girl who begs for me, sweetheart. It’s so fucking hot…you’re so fucking hot.” He pushed inside finally, filling me completely just the way I needed him to. It felt incredible how deep he was able to get from behind me. He gripped my hips harder, digging his nails into my skin as he moved faster, thrusting in and out as deep as he could.

“Yes! God, yes! Don’t stop…” I rambled, moaning, and gripping the sheets in between my fingers. He was using and abusing my body, but I’d begged for it. I wanted it. I’d never experienced anything like it before.

“Let me hear you, Mac,” he said, driving into me deeper. I could hear the slaps of our bodies, the mixed arousals joining together as our bodies collided over and over. It was the best fucking sound I’d ever heard.

“I’m so close, Alex…god. Don’t stop…harder. I’m almost there…” I squeezed my eyes, arching my back out more as he drove into me and slammed directly on my g-spot, making me scream his name out immediately.

“Holy shit,” I breathed out, barely able to contain myself. He was still driving into me with full force, building my body up once again. “I don’t know how much more I can take…I—”

With one final thrust, he came, pulling another orgasm from me with him. We screamed and moaned together, riding out the intense explosion we both had just experienced.

I collapsed on the bed just as he pulled out. My body was done. I couldn’t take anymore.

I felt the bed dip and footsteps followed after. I had assumed this was the part of the one-night stand where you go your separate ways. Or so I figured.

I heard him return, and when I turned my head to look, he was in sweats holding a wet cloth.

“Turn around, sweetheart. You’re going to be sore tomorrow.” His kindness threw me off. I hadn’t expected him to take care of me afterward. No guy has ever done that for me.

He carefully rubbed it between my legs, letting the warmth consume me as he cleaned me up. It felt amazing and a cry almost escaped when he pulled it away and tossed it aside.

“Thanks.” I smiled, my eyes starting to get heavy.

He pulled the sheets back and I felt him get in next to me. He pressed his chest against my back as he lay side by side with me. He wrapped his arm around me and held me close to his heart.

That I hadn’t expected.

Once the realization hit me—the chemistry, the spark that lived inside me this whole time without even knowing it—I knew.

I had to make a decision.

Chapter Eighteen

I wasn’t going to make this decision lightly. I knew I needed to talk this out with someone and that someone was Staci. I texted her that we needed to meet up ASAP. Immediately after work Monday, I went over to her apartment so we could talk in private.

“I need to tell William, right? Tell him, move out, and start over. That’s the only logical answer,” I stated matter-of-factly as I sat on her small couch, shoving Dorito’s Spicy Nachos chips into my mouth.

I didn’t even like hot chips.

But I was nervous and upset, and I eat when I’m nervous and upset.

“Mac, let’s just think this through, okay?”

“Why do you think it all came back to me weeks later? I’d been having glimpses of it here and there, and then, it just all comes back to me…” I rambled off, continuing to eat and chew.

“Well, I’m no psychologist…” She narrowed her brows at me. “But sometimes, memories are triggered by something. An emotion. An incident. Sometimes it’s something as small as a smell, a color, a voice. Your brain can block memories out that would otherwise be painful,” she explained. “My little sister was in a bad car accident when we were little. We were riding our bikes and she crossed the road and was hit by a truck that was pulling a trailer. She broke her leg and was in a body cast for weeks. She was nine years old, but after surgery and getting to come home, she didn’t remember the actual events of the accident. And now to this day even, she doesn’t remember any of it. So…your brain blocks those out. The memory of the pain of what she felt was too much for her and it’s been blocked out of her memory ever since.” I actually could understand what she was talking about and nodded.

“Okay, that makes sense. But…I don’t know. It just seems weird, right?”

“Well, you were pretty intoxicated, right?”

“Yeah…you could say that.” I sighed. I’ve never been that irresponsible before in my life. “So what’s this all mean? That I was ready to remember it? That somehow the memory flooded back in because of my fight with William? I mean, that could’ve been a trigger.”

She tapped her finger on her wine glass as she thought it through. I continued thinking about that night and how it’s all I’ve been able to think about. “Your speech!” she spat out. “Shit…you had just given a whole speech about your past. You let your guard down. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable and let people see you for you. You became comfortable with the memory of your past and so it’d make sense for your blocked memories to come back. And I’m sure Alex being there didn’t help.”

I swallowed as her words sunk in. It was starting to make sense. I avoided talking about my past as much as possible, but Saturday night was different. Once I started, it was hard to stop. Not only was I passionate about the charity, but I was passionate about being honest and letting people see the real me. William acted as if it was an ad campaign for making me look good to the press, whereas Alex stood by my side every step of the way.

“You’re right,” I said quietly. “Alex sees me differently. He doesn’t see how the media wants to portray me, he sees the real me.”

“And William?” she prompted. “How do you think William sees you?”

I blinked, really thinking about it. I wasn’t sure anymore. “I’m really starting to think he sees me different from what I’ve always thought he did. He’s always treated me so well. I thought I was the love of his life, and now…”

“Now what?” she prompted.

I felt tears escape my eyes before I could say anything in return. The whole thing—this fucked up situation I’ve gotten myself into—was becoming too much.

“Now I’m unsure…” I said, shaking my head at myself. “I feel like he
needs
me more than
wants
me. I had no expectations at first. I had no dating experience before him to really
know
the difference. And now…now I’ve started to.”

She sat up and crossed her legs, still gripping her wine glass in one hand. “What’s your heart telling you, Mac? You ultimately need to do what you feel is right. Have you even told Alex you had the dream?”

I shook my head. I hadn’t even seen him that morning, which was intentional. I wasn’t ready to face him yet.

“Well, I think maybe you just need some time…don’t make this decision quickly and make sure you’re one hundred percent positive before you do anything about it.” I looked back up at her and she flashed a weak smile. “I love you, Mac. I only want you to be happy. And whatever you decide, I’ll back you up all the way.”

I sat up and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her neck. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She welcomed the gesture and hugged me back, rubbing a hand down my back, soothing all the anxiety that was surfacing.

“Well, for starters…” she began as I sat back down, “you’ll never have to know. But you’d probably still be sitting in his hotel suite, too afraid to walk out alone.” I laughed for the first time that day, relief finally washing over me.

We sat and talked for a while longer, changing the subject to TV shows and gossip. We finished our bottle of wine, and before I passed out, I grabbed a cab and went back home.

I needed to see Alex before I made my final decision.

I WALKED INTO
a dark and quiet apartment just after nine p.m. I knew William was probably asleep already. I had called him on one of my breaks and told him I’d be stopping at Staci’s after work and that he shouldn’t wait up for me. Clearly, he had no intentions to anyway.

I walked into the kitchen to grab a quick snack. I hadn’t eaten since before we finished the wine, and I needed something to soak up the alcohol.

Just as I finished making a turkey sandwich, I heard footsteps in the hallway leading into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and turned around to Alex standing right in front of me.

I swallowed. “Hi.”

His brows drew together. “Hi. What are you doing?”

I blinked, lowering my eyes to the bottle of water in one hand and my sandwich sitting on the counter next to him. “Getting something to eat. What are
you
doing?”

“I heard you come in…just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” I shot back unconvincingly.

I stepped around him, grabbed my sandwich, and sat down at the breakfast bar. I felt his eyes on me the entire time, but I reminded myself I couldn’t act any different. Not yet. As far as he knew, we agreed to be ‘friends’ and since then, nothing’s changed. At least, until I figured this whole mess out.

“I was going to make some hot chocolate. Want some?”

I finished chewing and swallowed. “Yes, please. Thanks.” I smiled up at him, but he kept his back turned away from me.

We both stayed silent as I finished eating and he waited for the water in the kettle to boil. I watched as he poured the hot cocoa into two mugs and stirred them until they were thoroughly mixed.

“Marshmallows?” He looked at me over his shoulder and asked.

“Of course.”

He smirked just before turning back and grabbing the bag of mini-marshmallows from the cupboard.

“Alex, can I ask you something?”

He grabbed both mugs and walked over to me, setting mine in front of me. “Sure.”

He turned and faced me, making our bodies touch, which at the moment, was making it extremely hard to focus. I swallowed and asked anyway. “Where do you go when you don’t get in until three a.m.?”

He blinked and looked away, turning his body away from me. I knew I hit a nerve, but I’d been too curious to not ask now that we were on ‘friends-only’ terms.

“Why do you want to know?”

I shrugged, circling my fingers against the rim of the mug. “I was just curious…I don’t know that much about you, I guess.”

I heard him fidget in his seat next to me as he took a sip of his drink. “I run.”

My head turned toward him, shock and confused written all over my face. “You run? All night?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I run through the park, all over the city, sometimes I just run without a destination in mind.”

“You run in a suit and tie?” I questioned. He narrowed his brows in confusion, so I continued. “The other night…at the event. You had a suit on but hadn’t come home until late.”

“I have a locker at the gym I work out at. I keep extra clothes there.”

“Oh…” I took another drink.

He looked over at me and smirked. “What were you expecting?”

I raised my brows at him and said, “Honestly? I figured you were out getting trashed and banging the first girl you met.” I shrugged unapologetically. “Or whatever single, hot, young men do.” I blushed, laughing at how nervous I sounded.

“Wow…” He laughed, shaking his head at me. “I see how highly you think of me.”

“Shut up.” I laughed again. “You did come back one time smelling of whiskey. So shoot me for thinking the obvious.” It was the morning he came in while I was showering…he had
definitely
been drinking that night.

He scowled, trying to hide the grin on his face. “Yeah, well, that was one time. I hadn’t really been in the running mood, so I went to a dive bar and drank until closing.”

I felt my heart begin to race at the thought of him drinking alone in a crappy bar. I knew it was because of me, the way he must’ve felt when he heard William and me together. The thought sickened me.

“Well, I’m glad you have a healthy outlet at least. When I was a kid, I’d search for old magazines that had been thrown out and I’d keep them for months at a time. I never knew when the next time would be that I’d get to read another one, so I read it cover to cover, over and over. My mom would always get so pissed because I was more concerned with reading the fashion articles than stealing food or whatever else we needed. Losing myself in those magazines were my only outlet and sometimes, my only hope at what I dreamed for my future.” I turned and looked at him, all emotion pouring out of his eyes and tight mouth. “My mom didn’t like us talking about the future,” I explained. “I think she blamed me a lot of the time for our hardship.”

“Why would she blame you? You were a child.”

I shrugged, not really sure myself, but I just knew. “She wasn’t exactly mentally stable, Alex. She was selfish, had good days and bad days, and even on her good days, I would’ve been better off left alone in an alley.”

He shook his head and tightened his grip on his mug. Without thinking, I leaned into him and placed my hand over his. “There’s really no reason to get upset about it now. It’s my past, not my future. And who knows where I would’ve ended up without it.” I shrugged, his hand finally softening underneath mine. “Thank you,” I said softly, taking him off guard. His eyes met mine, questioning my words. “Thank you for being someone I can talk to about this. Thank you for not judging me solely by my past and somehow…being able to understand, even if we did grow up in completely different worlds.”

His face softened as he flashed a small smile. “It might’ve been two different worlds, but we still spoke the same language.”

A moment had passed between us before I realized my hand was still covering his. I slowly removed it and stood up, taking my empty mug with me. I rinsed it out and placed it on the counter, staying silent as he watched me. I stood there with my hands on each side of the sink and closed my eyes. My heart and head weren’t fighting anymore. My head knew what my heart felt all along, and now I was fighting my morality on what the hell I was going to do about it.

I felt him behind me, not quite touching, but close enough to inhale his scent. His body towered over mine as he leaned over and put his hands on each side of the sink next to mine. I felt him press his chest up against my back, molding our bodies together as we stood there, silently. Both of us knew it was beyond the boundaries of friendship, but neither of us made the move to push away. I felt his face at the nape of my neck, his nose grazing the skin just below my ear. He inhaled, brushing his lips against the flesh of my neck just as he exhaled.

My body shivered in response, relaxing deeper into him. We stayed like that, molded together—silent and content.

I kept my eyes sealed shut as I allowed myself this moment with him. Just this one time.

Alex was the first to move, leaving me standing alone and breathless. I felt his lips brush against me once more before he finally took the step back and left without a word. But he didn’t have to say anything to let me know what he was thinking—
feeling
.