Dauntless (The LockDown Series Book 2) (11 page)

“Argghhh, fuck, so tight, Scott, take my cum.” I slam once more and hold myself inside him, as my dick pulses and throbs, my spunk spurting inside of him, his own arse tensing, holding me inside of him until I am empty and softening.

“Shit,” he says as he leans his head on the wall and regains some sense of self. I tuck my dick back in to its place, concealing it behind the zipper of my trousers.

I arrive back home at half three in the morning. The lights of the driveway are off, my house in darkness. Melissa must be in bed and Antonio has obviously passed out somewhere. He is an awesome uncle to my baby girl; he cares for her so goddamn much it is actually rather beautiful to see.

I open the door, dragging my tired body across the threshold. This evening has taken it out of me completely, physically and emotionally. I just want to see my bubba, and then fall asleep, hopefully until lunchtime.

I switch the lights on as I approach the blackened lounge. No sign of him anywhere, fuck it, bedtime.

I walk the huge staircase, normally it’s beautiful, but now I hate it as my feet and entire body ache with the strenuous walk up towards my room, popping my head into Melissa’s room before reaching mine.

Her room is in total darkness, not even the gentle lights of her mobile casting glows on the walls. I walk into the room and look into her cot.

My heart drops into my fucking stomach as I see it empty and her blanket missing. My baby, oh god, my baby. Abigail trusted me with her, to keep her safe. Oh shit, I feel ill. I want to be sick.

I run both wings of my huge home, pissed at myself for picking somewhere so big to live. I need to find her, the aching pain inside my chest isn’t going to subside until I do.

Where in the hell is Antonio, as well?

I get to the kitchen and pick the landline up, my mobile having been smashed to pieces earlier, after seeing Kalina’s pictures. I dial Antonio’s phone, telling it to hurry as every ring sounds.

“Hi, it’s Ant. I'm not available at the moment. Please leave your message after the tone.”
“
You fucking prick, answer the fucking phone,” I scream at the handset.

“FUCK!” I shout. The twins next, they will be with Maria. She would know where Ant is.

“Yo, Leigh, what’s up man? How’s Abbi?”

“Hey you seen... wait what? What’s happened to Abigail?” The heartache I am feeling after finding my baby gone, well now it has just fucking multiplied into an atomic explosion.

“Oh fuck, sorry man. She’s in hospital. Something happened when she was out tonight. You best find out from her, I’m not a hundred percent on the details.” Luke’s sympathetic voice does nothing to calm me. I am feeling fucking furious, I need to be there. If she is hurt or in trouble, it is my job to help her, my job to fix her again. I am her fucking fiancé for fuck sake.

Shit, I am her fiancé, there is no way she is going anywhere and that ring is going back on her finger, fucking quickly.

God, I feel so shitty right now. I had left her and treated her like utter crap when she needed me the most.

“Luke, where’s Melissa?” I am still unsure to her location and it is worrying me.

“Antonio has her, he is at the hospital with Debbie and Maria. Go get your woman man, this is your chance to fix this. Be there for her, she fucking needs you.” I know he is right, god I know it. I love Abigail so much, for all her faults and flaws and I know deep down, she would never have gone to see Phillip if she wasn’t desperate.

“I know man. I love her so much. Cheers for telling me, I’ll speak soon.” I hang up the phone, collecting my keys from the side again and running through the front door to my car parked in the driveway. I force my key into the ignition, taking the handbreak off and spinning out of the driveway, my tyres burning rubber on exit.

I'm coming baby.

I wake up, my eyes sore and my hands even worse. The light in the corner by my bed is set low, leaving a warm ambient glow across the white walls. I turn my head left and right, trying to alleviate the ache in my neck.

I jump out of my fragile skin, when I see someone sitting next to me, someone I haven’t seen in three days, someone I love so fucking much it hurts more than any physical pain I am suffering at the moment.

My Leighton.

He is asleep in the chair, his beautiful long lashes lying delicately against his cheeks, his head is dropped forward, towards his chest, the muscle there contracting and relaxing as each breath he inhales pushes the firmness forward. His lips are slightly parted, drawing oxygen through and into his lungs.

I try to pull myself up in the bed again, my hands hurting even more than they were last night. “Oh, fuck,” I cry out as my right arm gives way and I fall to the mattress, smacking my head on the bar at the side of the bed as I go down. “Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck, ooohh fuck.” My head hurts, my hands repeatedly rubbing at the area to sooth the pain.

Leighton’s body jumps up fast, his hands coming out to wipe the sleep from his eyes so he can see. “What’s wrong, Abbi? What’s wrong baby?” he asks me, the word baby making happy tears fill my eyes. The desperation in his voice is somewhat heart-warming.

He still cares for me, I know he does.

“You’re here,” I say wiping the leaking water that has escaped my ducts and is now trailing down my face. He stands from his chair, walking to me. His own eyes are puffy and full of unshed tears. It breaks my heart all over again, the pain he is suffering because of me and my choices and actions.
It is cutting me open and leaving me to bleed.

He stands before me, his frame towering over my horizontal one. “Leighton,” I choke through the sob, unable to finish my sentence.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby.” He climbs onto the bed with me, pulling me to his side, his scent soothing me instantly.

“I'm sorry, Leighton, so, so sorry.” I continue to cry, every ounce of pain, regret and disgust I hold for myself, escaping through my tears. I don't know how I am to ever make this up to him, to take away the pain I know I have caused him. How was I ever going to mend his broken heart so he can love me once again?

“Shhh, baby, it’s going to be okay. God I’m so sorry, Abbi. I should have been there for you, not pushing you away. God, please forgive me,” he begs me, causing me to sit myself up, regardless of the pain searing through my hand.

“No, Leighton, no. Don't you bloody well dare, you do not apologise. God, you stupid bloody man. Fuck, this is entirely my fault, everything. You have to understand that, Leighton. You,” I point to his chest, the hardness hurting my fingertip, “have done nothing wrong, nothing at all.” I try to stop the damn breaking, I really do, but I fail miserably as the floodgates open.

“Oh, Abigail, baby please. I don't know how to make this better for you.” He sounds so desperate and broken.

He pulls my shaking, crying body to his hard one and cries with me. His tears soak my head as he cradles it to his chest. He repeatedly kisses the top of my hair, his lips soft but firm against my skin.

A few minutes pass and I force my body to calm down and stop shaking. I breathe through the hiccups as my lungs try to refill.

“Come on, Abbi. Come on baby, it’s all going to be okay, we’re going to be fine. Be strong for me, sweetie. God if only I had known how bad your addiction was, I would never have reacted the way I did. I would have been a little more rational. I need you, Abbi, we both need you so much baby.” By ‘we’, he means Mellissa and him. He is such an amazing father, I know for a fact these past three days my little girl has
been so loved and cherished.

“Where is she?” I miss her tiny body so much, that scent you can only get from a baby.

“Antonio has her, he has taken her home to sleep. He came here from ours when he heard.”

“Why did he have Melissa? Where were you?” I ask him, not like it is any of my business, but I am intrigued.

“We’ll talk later, Abigail. We both need to be a hundred per cent honest with one another so we can start fresh.” He strokes my wet hair from my face and then kisses my reddened nose. God, why did such small gestures make my insides melt and turn to mush?

“I know, Leighton. I need so much help,” I admit for the first time, knowing now how bad it is. “I can't wait, I need to tell you. I need to get this out of me now before it completely absorbs me and there isn’t any Abbi left. I need to confront these demons and lay them to rest or cremate the fuckers.” I take a ridiculous amount of breaths to calm myself, before telling Leighton the entire story about Phillip and me. Even thinking about his name makes me want to heave.

I need to tell him how long this addiction has gone on for, and how bad it has become., and the fact that I can't go more than a few hours before popping more pills. I need to tell him that I had given a man oral tonight just to get a fix, which consequently led to me taking too much ketamine and turning myself into a fucking lunatic, busting my hands in the process.

Yes, I have remembered every single, disgusting detail of last night, every image refusing to leave my brain, permanently etched into my temporal lobe.

“You don't have to, Abbi. We can wait till you’re better.” He continues to soothe me in the way I love, his fingers of one hand playing with my hair, his lips brushing against my forehead, while his fingers of his other hand link in with mine. I feel at home again, even with all this bullshit still lying just beneath the surface, I feel safe again.

“I need to, Leighton. I am not going to get better until I get this all out. It will not leave me alone. I need you to know why I did what I did. You can make your mind up after that.”

He stands from my side of the bed and sits at the end, facing me. He crosses his legs like a child in an assembly at school. “Okay, I'm ready.” I can see the apprehension in his eyes, he doesn’t want to know. Who does? No man wants to hear why their fiancée fucked another man, why they are addicted to a stupid pill, controlled by it.

“Okay. It happened the day after Antonio was shot. I saw how much it affected everyone, you were distraught, my best friend was hysterical thinking she was going to lose her brother, Antonio looking so fucking weak I thought he would never get back to himself. That shot that had taken him out, not only hurt him, it killed a tiny piece of all of us. I was sick and tired of looking over my shoulder, wondering if you would ever come home. Waiting for a knock at the door to tell me you’d been murdered. I’d had enough of it, Leighton. That was my last straw.” I gulp down my fear of his rejection. I don't want him to walk away. Right now, I need him more than I ever have. “Anyway, I found a number in the telephone directory to the Blackmans, so I rung Phillip up and asked to meet with him. I was willing to do anything to get him away from us, get him off your back. I arranged to meet him at his place of work. When I got there, my anxiety was through the roof, so bad I couldn’t breathe. I took some of my tablets to calm myself down, to help me see it through. They made me feel fucking high, Leighton, made me so mixed up that I didn’t know which way was up or down. I know it’s no excuse for what happened, but the look you saw on my face through that video, that wasn’t how I truly felt, that was the tablets screwing with me.”

Leighton’s face is sad, his eyes down and his lips in a frown. I lean forward and stroke his leg, to let him know I love him.

“So, I went to his building and behind the fucking desk sat Kalina, the stupid whore. I know it’s irrelevant to the story, but she makes me so angry.” I can feel my fury rising. If there is one person on this planet I want to unload my glock in to, it’s her. “She saw me through to his office and left us alone. I spoke with him a few minutes, told him I wanted him gone, out of our lives for good. I told him that I was willing to do anything unless it harmed our baby. He told me to,” I breathe out, fighting my nerves to say the next words, “he told me to suck his dick, so I did. I didn’t want to, believe me Leighton, I never wanted to do that to you.” I start to cry, silent tears trickling my face. I try to conceal my face from him, hiding it behind my hands in shame. It isn’t his responsibility to calm me right now, I have done this to myself, so I have to deal with this myself. I sniffle and wipe away the snot and tears with a tissue from the side
table.