December Heat (17 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Opening
night. At last! Butterflies tickled Nic’s insides. She’d missed this kind of life more than she’d realized. But perhaps it was the time out that had brought the extra surge of excitement. Either that or she focused on it too much in an attempt to try to forget about Jake. Nic continued to remind herself she’d made the right decision. Jake and she would never share a future together...it was impossible.

She’d
seen him on the news, worried herself sick about him and, in the end refused to watch. If anything happened to him, she didn’t want to witness it. That she didn’t hear from him often worried her, but she told herself he’d be fine. He had to be.

A
light rap on her door interrupted her thoughts. When she opened it, Danny stood there, holding a basket of perfect, dark red roses with a sprig or two of baby’s breath. Red and cream ribbons intertwined with the blooms and white rosebuds circled the arrangement. “These came for you.”

“Oh,
Danny, they’re beautiful. Did you...?”  He shook his head.

“Who
are they from?”

He
handed her the card and she ripped open the envelope, letting it fall to the floor. As she read the note, her hand rose to her chest as if to calm her beating heart.

Good
luck. Miss you. Love Jake
.

He’d
remembered opening night! She closed her eyes for a moment as she imagined him saying the words, tried to recall the warm timbre of his voice, his unique male scent, his expressive features. Warm fuzzy feelings enveloped her. And she had to remind herself that the closing words of his note were just an expression. He’d never told her that he loved her. And she didn’t believe he’d changed his mind. What good would it do anyway? Their lives were worlds apart, in more ways than one.

She
took the flowers from Danny. “Thanks,” she said, her voice thick with emotion, the hint of moisture at the back of her eyes. She caught the sweet scent of the roses and choked back a sob.

“Jake?”

She nodded. “He didn’t say much, not how he’s doing, or anything.” She couldn’t keep the disappointment from her voice. Why didn’t he write? Or answer her letters? At least he read them, since she’d mentioned the date of opening night. And now she knew he wasn’t hurt. She remembered then, how Natalie had complained about how infrequently he wrote letters home.

“Don’t
worry. If he was in any danger, we’d hear something.”

“Not
necessarily,” she said and gave Danny a mini version of the little she knew about Jake’s capture by the rebels.

“Good
grief,” he said as she placed the arrangement on a small round table, and poked her finger into the green spongy Oasis to check the moisture level. The delicately sweet fragrance of roses clung to the air.

“I
know. It’s terrifying, the things that can happen. Jake barely mentioned his ordeal, let alone every little detail, but his sister told me as much as she knew. She was out of her mind with worry when he disappeared.”

“Understandable.”
Danny’s gaze softened. “Try not to worry, Jake wouldn’t want you to do that. I hate to sound heartless here, but we’ve got a show to do.”

He
gave her shoulder a squeeze. Nic took a deep breath and released it, and then another one, tensing then relaxing her muscles. She smiled at him. “You’re probably right. About Jake not wanting me to worry, I mean.”

“You
look great, babe.” Danny’s admiring gaze surveyed her. “I’ve never known you to look this good. And I certainly didn’t think you’d bounce back so well after Mark’s accident. I’m proud of you.”

She
smiled at him. “Thanks. We’ve both worked hard these last couple of months. Let’s hope the audience thinks as highly of us as we do of each other.”

They
linked arms and he escorted her to where the opening dancers warmed up in the wings.

Excitement
bubbled through Nic. When she’d hung up her dancing shoes to take care of Mark, she’d never expected to be in this position again so soon. She’d been very fortunate to have Danny look out for her. If they hadn’t made such a good team early in her career, he wouldn’t have sought her out to dance with him again.

On
cue, the opening dancers moved out on the stage. Finally now, she could forget about Jake for a while and concentrate on making opening night a success.

She
looked over at Danny. He caught her eye and winked. “This is it, babe,” he whispered. “Are you ready?”

She
smiled back. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Danny
took a deep breath and prepared to enter the stage. “Then let’s do it.”

Focused
on the show, Nicolette followed.

The
crowd whistled and cheered.

A
warm sense of positive well-being engulfed her. Tonight would be a good night, the hard work would pay off, and the show would be a smash hit.

* * *

During a quiet moment back in her dressing room after the show, Nic looked at the flowers and smelled their fragrance. How she wished Jake was with her. She wanted to share her success with him.

She
leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, her heart heavy. Images of Jake filled her mind, making her miss him even more. Would she ever see him again?

Chapter Fifteen

Worried
he’d be late, Jake entered the foyer of the Athenaeum Hotel, in London’s busy Piccadilly. He scanned the foyer, his gaze coming to rest on two familiar figures standing side by side, hand in hand. He smiled at the cozy picture they made.

“Hey,
it’s good to see you guys again. How’s the honeymoon, or shouldn’t I ask?”

“Now,
little brother, wouldn’t you like to know?” Natalie replied, looking up at him, a happy smile on her face. “It’s exciting,” she whispered, and gave a soft little giggle.

“It’s
going great, thanks mate,” Luke said, shaking Jake’s hand. “It’s good to be back in London again.”

Jake
pulled Natalie to him and gave her a hug. “I’m so glad everything worked out for you both.” He kissed her on the forehead before letting her go, smiling inwardly when Luke’s arm slip possessively around his wife’s shoulders.

“What
are your plans while you’re here?”

“I
thought I’d show Nat the sights. We’ve been on one of those hop-on-hop-off coach tours around the city today. We decided we’ll do the two smaller tours tomorrow, then see where we go from there. In a few days we’ll pick up our hire car and drive to Stonehenge and Salisbury, then on to Bath, and beyond. We don’t have too much planned, but will just go where the mood takes us.”

“Sounds
good.”

“We
pulled up outside the Museum of Torture today.” Natalie’s cheeks were flushed. “There was a guy at the door in one of those skeleton suits. He kept making faces at the bus driver and scraped a thumb across his throat, as if threatening to slash it.” She demonstrated. “He looked quite sinister, but I think it was all for show. They are probably best friends.”

“I
can imagine. Puts on a good show for the tourists.”

“One
of the ladies on the bus almost had a heart attack she took his gestures so seriously.”

“So
what’s the surprise you have planned for us, Jake?” Luke smiled down as Natalie’s gaze rose to meet his. Her eyes shone with love for her husband. Jake felt a stab of envy and tried to stamp it down. After all, it was his choice he was back working out of London and not in Sydney with Nic.

“How
about dinner and a cruise on the Thames? I thought we should have a small celebration. It’s not often we get together, let alone on this side of the world.”

“Sounds
wonderful!” Natalie’s eyes shone with excitement. “I want to do everything I can while I’m here,” she said. “This is a whole new experience for me and I feel like a little kid in a toy shop.”

Luke’s
arm remained around her shoulders, hugging her to him. “That’s my wife.” He grinned broadly. “She’ll wear me out before this honeymoon is over.”

Natalie
dug him in the ribs. “Don’t tell fibs,” she said, incredulity that he would say such a thing evident in the tone of her voice. “Jake will think I’m crazy for sex.”

“Well,
you are,” Luke replied, teasing her, hugging her tighter, so she couldn’t dig him in the ribs for a second time.

Jake
laughed in an effort to quell that touch of envy that continued to haunt him, as his sister and Luke gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes, oblivious to his presence for those few precious moments.

Nic.
He couldn’t help thinking of her, couldn’t dismiss the way his heart seemed to constrict as her image drifted, ghost- like, into his vision. And as much as he didn’t encourage the thought, he couldn’t help wonder who might be gazing into her eyes right now. Probably Danny. Half his luck.

“So
how’s Nic,” Natalie asked, as if she could read his mind. Maybe his expression gave away his longing for her. Nat was always good at reading him.

“She’s
fine, the show is going well by all reports. She sends me an update now and then.”

In
truth, he looked forward to Nic’s letters. Heaven knew why she still wrote to him when he rarely replied. But what could he tell her? That he was pining away for her? At least he’d admitted to himself he was too selfish to tell her not to write to him.

“So?”
Natalie insisted. “How are things between you?”

“Nat,
you know how I live. It’s not the kind of life to share with a woman. There could never be anything...long-term...between us. No woman would want to sit at home and wait for me to return when I feel like it. And then it would be no more than a quick visit.”

“True,
but you can always change your ways, Jake. Find something else.”

“Spoken
like the practical person you are, Nat.”

“There’s
nothing wrong with that,” she said defensively.

Heaven
knows, it was her practicality that kept them afloat as a family when their mother died and then later, when Luke, more or less an abandoned child, came to live with them. Along with their father, she’d provided a warm and nurturing home for them all. “I’m not saying there is, just that staying in one place isn’t for me.”

* * *

Jake’s hand tore through his hair as he glanced around the sparse hotel room.

Was
there more to his unwillingness to commit that made him seek refuge in the perfect excuse of his career and lifestyle? Surely not. He’d had a stable, loving home and upbringing. What was the matter with him?

Maybe
he just hadn’t met the right woman, one who matched his idea of a perfect soul mate. And Nic was the woman who had come closest so far. In fact, she was as near perfect a match as he could hope for. Then what was the matter with him?

After
seeing Luke and Nat together, and obviously very happy, part of Jake could see...wanted...to see himself in a similar situation with Nic. But the warmth was swept away by a coldness that crept over him when he acknowledged it could never be, regardless of whether he loved her or not. And he did love her in his own selfish way.

The
admission came as a bit of a shock. But since he’d left Australia and returned to what he knew best, he’d been able to stand at arm’s length from their relationship and put it into perspective. Sure he could.

Sure,
the timing probably wasn’t the best. They were both so vulnerable after Mark’s death and had been drawn together by their grief. Then there was the wonderful Christmas they’d shared as a family. Even Jake had to admit it had been a while since he’d enjoyed Christmas so much. The last couple had been spent on assignment and even the special season hadn’t prevented the ugliness of his surroundings...the ugliness of war.

But
he loved Nicolette and felt a strange peace at his acceptance of that fact. But it didn’t ease the pain of loneliness, or the fact he knew he’d done the right thing in letting her pursue her career. She needed to take that as far as she could. And he knew nothing about sharing relationships on a permanent basis.

If
he knew what was best, why was he having trouble putting closure to their relationship? He could kiss his sanity goodbye, pondering over that question.

* * *

Back in London after another harrowing trip in the field, and to follow up on some feelers he’d put out about his future endeavors, Jake settled back on the bed in his hotel room and channel-flicked the remote. He couldn’t settle and even the temptations of London’s nightlife didn’t lessen his restlessness.

Not
that the television had much to offer to distract him from his mood. Until a familiar title flashed across the screen, and Nic’s face and a snippet of an interview with her, demanded all of his attention.

Hell,
it was good to hear her voice! See her so lifelike in front of him; a vision that sent his senses into a spin. A television special of the highlights of Nic’s show would be screened in half an hour.

Jake’s
heart began to pound. Of all the luck and timing. He took a quick shower, poured himself a drink and settled into bed, ready. No way would he fall asleep, not while watching Nic. It wouldn’t be the same as seeing her in the flesh, but at least he would see images of a living, breathing woman. He’d never seen her dance, apart from that one time with Danny, and of course, the belly dancing performance at Magenta’s Christmas party. Now he looked forward to seeing her talent professionally presented on stage.

From
the moment the music started, Jake was mesmerized. The darkened stage held an eerie and evocative air, aided by the beat of the music, lighting and mist.

Suddenly,
there she was. Her body, arched and provocative, arms stretched out, long fine fingers silhouetted against the softly lit backdrop. He couldn’t see all of her face clearly because of the lighting, but instinctively knew it was Nic. God, she looked sexy in that costume—the brief leather skirt, the red skimpy top, the fingerless leather gloves and the neat ankle boots. Long hair that he knew had to be part of the costume, and as she turned, heavily made up eyes, gave her a sensuous look that stirred him. And the tattoos added to her wild sultry look.

Jake
took a long drink to cool his restlessness but it did little to cool the memories of their long passionate nights together, of his intimate exploration of her body. He grew hard beneath the sheets. If only Nic was with him now to ease the ache he felt for her, both in his body and his heart.

He
continued to watch. The smile-to-die-for that she gave Danny when he leapt out on stage highlighted the pain of separation. It was a knowing, come-get-me smile that curled Jake’s toes and caused his jealousy to boil very quickly, even though he knew it was just an act. Didn’t he? Hell, things were so distorted when you were a world away from the woman you loved.

He
tamped down the feelings and thoughts that reminded him she’d been traveling, living, and dancing, with Danny for all these months. That Danny was a married man wasn’t at all obvious in the way he looked at her. Their bodies were in tune, touching with hands, body to body; expressions intense, eyes only for each other. Surely there had to be something between them that their defenses had to have slipped.

In
spite of the torture, Jake couldn’t tear his gaze away from her. He was fascinated by the tattoos circling her upper arms and wondered if they were part of the costume or whether they were real. As much as he disliked tattoos on women, he decided he’d overlook that fact in Nicolette’s case. He wondered if they’d add to her real life aura as they did to her stage character.

Another
male dancer appeared on stage, attracting her attention. She ran to him, rubbed her body against his while his hands seemed to roam over her, their faces close enough to kiss. The air between them seemed to sizzle and Jake expected to see sparks ignite from the friction of their bodies. And again he felt the stab of jealousy and uncertainty, his thoughts running wild over what Nic’s relationship might be with this man. But hey, he hadn’t made promises to her, nor had she made any to him. She was a free woman and he had no claim on her. The logic did nothing to ease the persistent ache in his heart.

The
two men squared up to each other, each in turn, taking the upper hand, and he could sense the strength and power of their characters. He wondered if it reflected a real life jealousy or tug-of-war over Nic, and since she could never be his, the thought these men were ready to do battle over her gave him a small sense of satisfaction.

He
watched the rhythm of her body, heard the audience cheer her; watched the intensity in Danny’s face each time they almost embraced. The other guy looked pretty intense too. The camera work was excellent, but the dancing, the sensuality, took his breath away.

Nic
gave the other man a sultry smile, and hands cupping faces, they kissed. The crowd cheered. Nic’s partner held her as she arched away from him, his fingers brushing the valley between her breasts. If he thought Nic’s performance with Danny was bordering on erotic, her chemistry with this guy was explosive. Who was he anyway? Jake had never seen him before. Was there anything between them? Man, this was pure torture.

Jake
scraped a hand through his hair. Not seeing her, not touching her, was making him crazy. His body ached for her. But the tension aside, he missed her for the person she was.

How
could he ask her to give up the career that had obviously taken off in a big way and do something so reckless and uncertain, like sail the world with him?

And
since when had he considered and settled on taking such an enormous step?

Regardless
of how much it would hurt, he had to see her one more time. He couldn’t just walk away, even though that would be the most sensible thing to do. But he had to see her to give their relationship some kind of closure. There was no moving on with his life until that happened.

* * *

“The sooner you two are on that flight to Australia, the better,” Jake told his sister and her husband, only half joking, as they passed a miserable wet afternoon in an old English pub. He’d made the mistake of telling them about the television show featuring the dance spectacular.