Denying the Wrong (2 page)

Cindy was the next person to go up. She’d gone to a clinic for birth control pills and as she’d walked back to her car, a couple of kids from her school snapped a couple pictures without her knowledge. The next day in class, everyone was calling her a baby killer. Some of the kids threw naked baby dolls painted in red at her in the hallway. No one got in trouble for anything because she’d decided not to file a report for fear of further retaliation.

All the stories being told were heartbreaking. I wanted to stand up and scream at them for letting the people who harassed them get away with it, but I had done the same. I, too, had let Kelly push me around multiple times and humiliate me without any consequences. Anger boiled up in my body and I felt the need to punch something. Alissa must have noticed me shifting around in my seat because she grabbed my hand and held it tight.

Mary was the last one to go up on stage. She’d mentioned Kelly's name a couple of times along with some other girls from the school Alissa and I had graduated early from. Mary didn't have one specific incident that topped all others, though name-calling was something she’d experienced daily. She ended with a short poem she had written about emotional trauma being worse than physical. I wanted to call out to her that I could relate, but didn't have the courage.

After the meeting, everyone spread out to talk among their preferred social groups. Alissa wanted to talk to Scott, but he was busy with someone else, so we both grabbed a bottle of water and stood up against the wall to wait until he was free. I took the opportunity to look him over, since I’d been so nervous about seeing Dillon at the Christmas party that I hadn’t paid him much attention.

Slight embarrassment crept through me when I realized how fiercely attractive Scott really was. Confidence practically dripped off him. His tight black shirt looked like it had been made just for his body, clinging to each dip and rise of muscle along his arms, back, chest and stomach, and the denim he wore… Well, I hadn’t realized how much I could appreciate a man’s backside until this moment.

No wonder Alissa couldn't seem to get enough of being around him.

I had to focus on something or someone else before Alissa caught me staring. Still, I wanted just one last look…
Damn.

Mary walked up to us with her goofy grin. “How’d you feel about our stories?” she asked enthusiastically.

“I can't even begin to explain how many emotions I felt,” I confessed. “I'm sure you know I've had my problems with Kelly and her group.”

“Kelly gave you a hard time, too?” Scott walked up to us and I blushed, knowing he’d overheard.

“Yeah, she's not the nicest person I've ever dealt with.” Please don't make me explain more about happened to me. “Alissa has had her fill, too.” Alissa looked over at me with her “shut up” face.

“Recently?”

Alissa nodded yes.

“What the hell did she do to you?” Scott seethed, moving in closer and glaring at Alissa.

“It was stupid. She didn’t do anything directly. Someone sent out a mass email with a picture of Kelly and Matt again. No one has said anything to my face, but I'm sure there’s whispering. Really, it's not that big of a deal.” Alissa looked down at her boots, either ashamed or embarrassed.

“Any type of negative attention is a big deal. You should’ve told me sooner,” he said through clenched teeth.

Mary chimed in next. “Looks like we've all been burned by her.” We looked at each other, not saying a word.

Scott broke the silence. “Excuse me, I have something to take care of.” He walked away abruptly, leaving the three of us looking confused but resigned.

“I need to get going. Congrats to both of you for graduating early. I should have done the same but there’s no way I could do that in the honors program.” Mary waved and walked away.

“Ready to go?” Alissa asked.

I didn’t answer but instead linked my arm through hers and walked out to her car.

“When are you going to finally get your license?” She bumped my hip with hers as we reached the vehicle. Alissa had been bugging me about the issue since we’d turned sixteen.

“There is no point in getting one if I don't have a car,” I said, practically by routine since my answer was always the same. She laughed at me. “The bus is my friend.”

We pulled up to the apartment my mom and I live in just as the rain started coming down. “This is why I always wear hooded sweatshirts,” I said as we ran to the door.

“No, you wear them because you're too lazy to wear anything stylish.” I almost left her outside for that comment but decided against it and pulled her with me into our apartment entryway.

“You laugh, but who's the one that doesn't have wet hair?” We both cracked up as Alissa shook the water off, droplets dotting the walls and floor. I woofed at her and she shoved my shoulder playfully.

We were just stepping into the kitchen for our ritual cup of coffee when the front door flew open and Matt, Alissa’s ex, stumbled inside.

And that's why you should lock your door, Kat!

The stench of alcohol he brought in with him was so bad it nearly made me queasy.

“What are you doing here? Who the hell invited you inside?” Alissa backed up a little, standing directly in front of me.

“I followed you from the meeting. You won't return any of my calls! How else was I supposed to talk to you?” He stumbled toward us, using the wall to hold himself up.

“Don't you dare come any closer! You're obviously drunk and I'm warning you right now—if you don't leave, I'll call the police.” Alissa's voice didn't shake at all, even though I knew she had to be freaking out as much as I was. Maybe more.

“Alissa, you have to believe me. Kelly must have slipped me something because I would never have done that to you. You know me better than that, damn it,” he slurred and took another step closer.

“Get out! Now!” Alissa screamed, making me jump a little. I wasn't being very much help because I didn't know what I could possibly say to diffuse the tension.

“Why won't you talk to me? Don't I deserve to at least tell you my side?” His eyes filled with tears. I couldn't tell if it was his emotions or the alcohol.

“You don't deserve anything. How could you kiss the one person you know I hate? And now you're drinking?” She was screaming at him so loudly, I was afraid my neighbors would hear.

Matt’s facial expression went void of all emotion. He nodded a little, turned around and walked out the door. Alissa immediately locked the front door and watched him walk away through the peephole.

“Are you sure we shouldn't get him a cab? He shouldn't be on the road right now.” My whole body was shaking and I had no idea what to do.

Alissa glared at me. “You’re actually worried about him after he basically broke into your apartment?” She walked over to the freezer and pulled out my stash of chocolate kisses.

“Actually, I was more worried about him hurting someone else. I’m calling the police.”

Alissa didn't respond.

I reported Matt’s car and hung up before leaving my name.

Alissa made a pot of coffee while I stood there watching her. She made two cups and carried them into my bedroom with the kisses.

I got a towel and cleaned up the water by the front door and checked the lock one more time before following her into my room.

Alissa

Kat and I fell asleep watching a movie, still dressed in our clothes from the night before. I snuck out before she woke up, not wanting to talk about what happened with Matt again. Sure, I felt bad for causing Matt pain, but there wasn’t any good excuse for him to get drunk, and knowing he’d followed me should have freaked me out—but it didn’t.

The morning sunlight put me in a much better mood, so I decided to take the long way back to my house and stop by the doughnut shop. Sugar made everything better.

My parents were sitting at the kitchen table when I arrived home. My mom was crying. The box of doughnuts fell from my fingers as I rushed to her.

“What's wrong? Is it Dillon?” I didn't even take my jacket off before sitting down at the table with them.

“Dillon is coming home,” my dad said with a huge smile.

“Why?” I felt confusion overtaking my momentary panic.

“They asked for volunteers to take an early release. He gets to come home in a couple weeks.” Dad had never wanted Dillon to join the Army in the first place because he was hoping Dillon would follow in his footsteps in law.

“Why would he do that? He loves the Army.”

“With everything that happened during his leave, he thought it would be the best decision. He wants to take a different direction with a career, and I’m sure he wants to be here for Katherine.” My dad kissed my mom on the head and gave her shoulders a tight squeeze. She was still crying and hadn't said anything.

“Why are you crying, Mom?”

She looked up at me through the tears. “I'm just happy that I'll have both my children back under our roof. I know I can't protect you both forever, but knowing you're safe in your beds at night is such a relief.”

“Well, what the hell is he going to do now? His plan was to stay in the Army until he could retire, last time we talked.”

“Watch your language, young lady. He can go to school and live here until he's done. I’ve already made arrangements for him to work part time at the firm.” He sat down next to my mom, kissing her with a smile on his face.

Leaving the kitchen to pick up the doughnuts, I went up to my room so I could give my parents a little privacy. It wasn’t very often that I saw them get emotional and it made me feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe it was because I didn't feel ecstatic about Dillon coming home. I loved my brother, but I really thought joining the Army had been a good decision for him so he could get out and see the world.

I’d been jealous when he’d needed to move to another state for basic training. The only other state I’d been to was Texas, where my grandparents lived.

One hour later I got a text from Kat. I paused the reality show I was half-watching and pushed the half-eaten box of doughnuts off my lap to reach for my cell.

Kat: Dillon is coming home! Why didn't you tell me?

Me: I just found out this morning and thought he would want to be the one to tell you.

Kat: Are you as excited as I am?

Me: Probably not. I just hope he finds something to do with his life.

Kat: I'm sure everything will work out. Love you! Hey, thanks for leaving without saying goodbye.

Me: Didn't want to wake you. Love you, too.

I texted Scott “hello” but didn't get a reply. It was too cold to go outside and do anything, and that little bit of sunshine that had boosted my spirits had evaporated behind both the cloud cover and the news of my brother’s return. I settled for a nap.

~*~

My body had obviously needed the sleep because I’d woken up, eaten dinner, and gone right back to bed. But now I was suffering the curious side-effects of being sleep hungover: my schoolwork was giving me the stink-eye from my backpack, and I was in dire need of caffeine. Oh, and my muscles were screaming for a good stretch after staying in bed so long.

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, my ass.

“Good morning,” I said to my parents, both hunched over the Sunday paper.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” My mom didn't look up from the paper. I poured myself a cup of coffee and grabbed a freshly made blueberry muffin.

“Do you know a girl that went to your school named Kelly Martin?” Dad asked me.

“Ugh. Yeah, why?” Hearing the name of the girl who had not only kissed my now ex-boyfriend on New Year’s Eve but who’d also humiliated my best friend in front of half the school was not a good start to my morning.

He shook his head with the disapproving look I knew all too well. “She was part of a group at some party who were all found dead just before midnight. They're going to do autopsies because the police believe they overdosed on some drugs they found at the crime scene.”

Mom nudged me out of the way to clean up my mess when I dropped my coffee mug on the counter, spilling everywhere. I could only stare at dad, unable to process what he’d just told me.

“Sweetheart?” Mom tossed the soiled paper towels in the trash and laid a hand in the middle of my back.

“—can't believe it. She was a horrible person, but I can't believe she's dead.” I started shaking, like I did when I got caught doing something wrong. For some reason, I felt guilty, and the feeling only continued to intensify.

“I have to call Kat.” I ran up the stairs into my room, slamming my door shut. Before I called her, I decided to go online to make sure my dad hadn't read the story wrong. But there it was, smack dab in the middle of the splash page of the newspaper's website. Nine names total. Three of them, including Kelly, were listed as students from the same high school Kat and I had attended, and the others were from another high school. I still couldn't believe it.

Grabbing my phone off the charger, I hit Kat’s speed dial. It rang so many times I thought I’d end up in her voicemail but she finally answered, voice groggy.

“Hello.”

“Kat! Did I wake you up?”

“This had better be good.”

“Kelly died last night.” I had to spit it out because I didn't know another way to relay the news.

“Wait, what?” Her exclamation heralded her entry into wakefulness.

“It's in the paper and online. There was a party and they think all of them overdosed on some bad drugs.” I heard her breathing, but she remained silent. “Kat?”

“Why do I feel guilty?”

“I know, right? Me, too. Maybe it's because she's dead and we can't cry over it because we didn't like her?” I had to stop a nervous laugh from escaping. How heartless was I, to be laughing right now?

“I don't even know what to say. I guess being religious would be helpful right now. Hang on, I'm going to grab my laptop so I can read the article.” Kat paused for a couple of seconds and I could hear her clicking on the keyboard. “Did you read the bottom of the article?”

“No, I just looked at the bigger print. I'm scrolling down.”

Alissa didn't wait for me to finish reading. “It says there were a couple boys from North Rochester High that died a couple weeks ago from binge drinking. They were football players. Two of the girls from last night's party also went to that high school.”

“Wow. That really sucks.” I know that wasn't a deep statement but I’d never dealt with death before.

“Hey, doesn't that Brian kid from the meeting go to that high school?”

“Yeah, he didn't say anything about the guys that died a couple of weeks ago. Maybe he didn't know them? We don't really talk about stuff that happens at our high schools unless it has directly affected us.”

We were both silent for a couple minutes and I caught myself staring at the ceiling. My phone beeped in my ear and I was almost afraid to look at who’d texted me because I had a feeling it was Matt. “Hey, Kat, I better go. I'm going to take a shower and finish up my homework. Want to come over for dinner?”

“Sure. I'll see you later.”

I clicked on my texts and was relieved when I saw Scott’s name.

Scott: Hey beautiful. Hope you're having a good weekend.

Me: It's been better. Did you see the news about Kelly and the other kids?

Scott: Yep. Some people never learn.

Maybe he had a point. She had been doing drugs long before last night. Something bad was bound to happen.

Me: I guess so.

I waited ten minutes without a reply from him before deciding to take a shower.

~*~

Scott was offering a personal protection training class at the gym I decided to sign up for. More people signed up for the personal protection training than Scott had anticipated. He broke the group into different levels. I was placed in the highest of the three for reasons unknown to me. My training had only included running and weights, so I hoped Scott knew what he was doing, because I was going into my first session with people I was sure were more physically fit and mentally prepared to protect themselves than I was.

I’d decided to wear my cutest gym clothes, that way I’d at least look good getting my ass beat. There were a couple of guys from the meetings talking in the middle of the room and they both waved as I walked over to the table to put my things down.

“Are we the only ones here?” I asked the guys, whose names I couldn’t remember.

“Scott said he’d be here in a minute. I think we’re waiting on a few other people.”

I nodded in response and didn’t feel comfortable not knowing their names. “I’m Alissa, by the way.”

“I’m Mike and this is Jeff,” he said, pointing to the blond standing next to him.

“Nice to meet you both. I hope Scott goes easy on us today.” They didn’t say anything but smiled. I couldn’t tell if they thought I was stupid or maybe they actually had a clue as to what we were doing today.

“We’ve had a few sessions before this. He’ll probably start the new ones slow, don’t worry,” Jeff said.

I was about to ask what he was talking about when a couple more guys walked in and started talking to Mike and Jeff. Another person walked in behind them, who I thought was a guy but looking closer, was a girl. A very tall, muscular girl. She walked right up to me.

“Oh, good, I’m not the only girl in the group.” She patted my shoulder and smiled. “I’m Sam.”

“Hi, I’m Alissa.”

What have I gotten myself into?

Scott walked in, followed by five other guys. They all looked sweaty and, for once, Scott wasn’t the only hot one in the group. I had to look down to avoid staring.

“Alright, everyone, listen up,” Scott spoke over everyone. “Today we’re going to start with the basics. I’m going to break you up in pairs, one of you will be offense, the other defense, then we’ll switch it up.”

I counted eleven people and knew I would get paired up with the only other girl, who happened to be twice my size. I was shocked when I was the last one without a partner.

“You’ll be assisting me up front,” Scott told me.

He walked up to a pile of chairs and unfolded one, motioning for me to sit down. I did, not sure what he was going to do next. He pulled one of the pairs up front and instructed them on what moves each would be doing. The others watched, no one speaking a word. I blinked with each punch and block.

Once everyone moved to different spots around the room, Scott walked back over to me.

I didn’t hide my disappointment that I wasn’t participating, even though I wasn’t fully confident in my defensive abilities. “Why am I sitting here while everyone else is working on moves?”

He peered around the room before answering me. “Please don’t question me in front of students. You’ll have your place in the group eventually but right now I want you to observe and do what I tell you.” He stood in front of me with his arms crossed and one eyebrow cocked up as if he was daring me to argue.

I nodded and sat quietly, complying with his request. I observed all the groups, unsure of what exactly I was supposed to be looking for. Scott didn’t say anything else to me the remainder of the class. If he was upset with me, the last thing I wanted to do was say something to make it worse. When we were dismissed, I walked out of the gym along with everyone else. Part of me hoped Scott would at least text me, letting me know what the hell I was doing there but after checking my phone repeatedly all evening, I didn’t get one word.