Desire: Love and Passion (18 page)

He j
umped off the bed immediately.
He looked haggard, frightened
.  He didn’t
look at her immediately, but he
’
d heard her. Now he turned to the door where she stood.

“What are you doing here?”
h
e demanded.

“I came to find you,” she said.

“Why?”

“I -.”

“You know what,” he said. “I don’t need to know. I don’t care. Just leave me alone.”

“Are you alright?”

“Just go,” he said.

“James, do you want to-?”

“Go! Leave me alone! Get out of my house! Just go!”

Willow was shocked. The look on his face was menacing. She had never seen him like this before.

“James -.”

“Didn’t you hear me? Go! Get the fuck out of my house!”

His words were cruel and it punched her in the stomach like no other blow she had ever gotten in her life. He was being deliberately mean and cruel. She stepped back through the hallway and fled. 

Willow grabbed her laptop, her favorite camera and her purse. She didn’t need anything else. She wanted no reminder of the things she had done with him.

The house was void of inside security by choice. So Simon only saw her when the front door was opened. She was dressed in a silk robe clutching a laptop to her chest, and a camera and purse slung over her shoulder. He immediately left his station to investigate.

“Miss Barnes, Miss Barnes,” he yelled racing from the adjoining security suite.

She
kept walking
. Willow was busy battling the tears that
had welled
up in her eyes. He had been so nice in the evening when he came home.
They had joked.
How could he
have
change
d so drastically
in just
a
few
short
hours?

“Miss Barnes,” Simon caught up to her.

She stopped.

“I
s
everything okay?” Simon asked.

“Yes, yes,” she said struggling not to sound like a whimpering child. 

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“Hang on. I am calling Giles. He can take you home.
”

“I’m okay,” she said and resumed walking.

While Simon walked alongside her, begging for Giles to pick up the phone, Willow punched
in
the security code that would open the gate.

Simon could not leave his post, but he could not let her go walking in
to
the woods in the dark. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief when Giles came on the telephone. While he was busy explaining himself to Giles, Willow was off the property. She was gone, her robe barely visible in the darkness before dawn.

The sound of a vehicle behind her did not stop her trek. The car came to a halt and someone came out.

“Willow.” It was Cassandra.

Willow turned to look at the woman standing in front the car, the headlights turned o
ff
at the moment.

“Where are you going?” Cassandra asked.

“Home.”

“Where is James?”

Willow wanted to yell something, wanted to yell she was not his keeper, that she didn’t care where he was. She said nothing.

“Come on,” Cassandra said. “Giles can take you home.”

“No,” Willow said. “I can walk.”

“If you decide to walk, then I’m going to have to walk with you,” Cassandra said. “And I
’
m sure the last time we were both on a treadmill you spent twice as long as I did.”

“You don’t have to walk with me,” Willow said. “I know my way.”

“Listen, I don’t know what happen
ed between you and James, but I’
m sure he would prefer if we took you home.”

“And I am certain he doesn’t give a damn,” she started laughing as she said it. It was a crazy hysterical laugh that echoed through the quiet secluded piece of real estate.

Once she started laughing, she couldn
’
t stop. She turned to keep walking and had a terrible case of the giggles. She wanted to cry, wanted to feel sorry for herself, but instead, all she could do was laugh. Another car came up behind the first. Willow didn
’
t even notice it.  She did not see it through her blind laughter.

She felt strong hands on her shoulder as she tried to walk in a straight line on the narrow road. It was him.

She turned and punched at him. She shook him off.

“Don’t
you
touch me,” she snarled.

“Will I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t -.”

“Don’t say anything,” she warned. “Don’t say a word.”

“Will,” he tried to pull her into an embrace
. S
he pushed against him, pushed away from him and started walking again.

He reached for her, and she swung at him. He caught her hand but her long camera came around and clocked him on his side.

“Stop it,” he said.

“Let go!” s
he screamed at him.

“Stop it,” he said again. “You know I wasn’t myself.”

“Oh you were yourself, alright. Now let go or I swear there will be no rock you can hide under ever again.”

He let her go.

“Don’t ever come near me again,” she said. “And here’s a suggestion, you want your privacy, move. And you better make sure when I get up tomorrow morning my car is in my driveway.”

“I love you,” he said.

“Don’t say that!” 

“I love you,” he repeated.

“Fuck you!”
s
he spat at him and walked away.

Chapter 12

             
No one followed her after that. She heard the engines behind
her
as she walked
home
.  She saw the lights fade back into the darkness when she closed her front door.

Willow stayed home
that morning. She spent most
of the time in bed crying. She ha
d promised herself after David that no one would be able to hurt her again. No one would take away her strength and reduce her to less than nothing. She
’d
brok
e
n
that promise. After getting home
,
she had scrubbed herself clean in the shower, but no matter how hard she scrubbed, no matter how raw her skin became, she could not scrub away the memories of being with him. She sobbed uncontrollably when she thought of the things she
’
d done with him. Yet, it was impossible for her to hate him. It had taken every ounce of strength to walk away from
him
after his apology.

She unplugged her telephone after his
fifth
phone call. She turned off the cellphone and wrapped herself under her heavy blanket.

When Saturday spun around, she was feeling much better. She got up surprisingly early
.
Her refrigerator was bare.
Her cupboards had only coffee, but she was not in the mood for her usual brew this morning.
A closer scan revealed hot chocolate. She made a cup and sipped the sweet dark brew down to the last drop.
Her house did not have a full size gym like his and she needed to get out and get some fresh air and exercise.

There was a bright yellow Volkswagen Beetle in her driveway. It was not the same design as the one she had
before. I
t was painted sunflower
and not the bright yellow of her previous vehicle. She frowned.
Under
the windshield wiper
there was a small envelope.  Willow removed the envelope
.
Inside, was a handwritten note on expensive station
e
ry. She recognized James’ handwriting immediately.

My dearest Will
, it began. She didn
’
t bother to read it. She balled it up and threw it as far as she could. 

She started jogging away from the car. The fresh air felt good in her lungs as she ran towards Big Wood Park. She found a trail easily and for the moment, he was gone from her mind.

If it was not for the crumpled piece of paper under the windshield wiper, Willow would have thought her life was back to normal. As she came up her driveway and passed the vehicle, the paper flapped in the wind, mocking her. She stopped, looked around before pulling it out.

My dearest Will
.
It was the note she had thrown in the brush
.

“Leave me alone!” s
he shouted to the wind and went inside, shoving the paper in her pocket.

The paper ignited new anger as she showered. The more she thought about it, the more she thought about him,
and
the angrier she began. When she got out of the shower, the anger was so white hot
that
she had no idea she was capable of such an emotion. She pulled on a tee shirt and shorts without any other apparel. She grabbed the cricket bat and went out to the bright yellow mobile as it sat as if laughing at her.

The first two or three swings of the bat
felt good. The more she swung and
the harder she swung, the better she felt. The sound of smashing glass and wood against aluminum brought its own sense of exhilaration. When she was done, the anger had not completely burned away. She went inside, stabbed out the number of a towing company and requested pickup. She grabbed her mobile telephone and went outside
. She flung the cricket bat at the car. It got stuck in what remained of the windshield. She found
the
camera app on her mobil
e and snapped a picture of the vehicle. Willow
attached the photo to his telephone number and before hitting send wrote, ‘
want to know how well I can use a cricket bat?
’

James had seen her rage on the car before receiving her photo. He
’d
asked Simon to keep an eye on her and Simon had sent him the video of her wielding the cricket bat. It was amusing at first. She had been right about one thing; she threw herself in all projects wholeheartedly. The surprise for him that day was the wrecked car showing up outside his office at St James Place. Of course she remembered he was working today.

Larry had saved the day by paying the tow driver cash to haul the wreck away and keep his mouth shut.

“It’s hard to believe she did all that disaster,” Larry said as they resumed their meeting. “What is she, fifty kilos or so?”

“Not even,” James said.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ll talk to her when I get back,” James said.

“Hell hath no fury,” Larry said.

Larry had not entirely liked Willow but he was be
ginning
to see her in a new light. She had annoyed him as a negotiator, but living with her was different. She was always polite and considerate. He also came to appreciate that she did not spend one penny of James’ money the whole time they were together.  He had
entirely
misjudged her.

“I would send her roses but I would hate to think what she would do
to the courier
.
”

“And you think her mood will be better when you get back from New York?”

“She can
not
remain mad at me forever.”

“I think she might surprise you
in that regard
,” Larry could
n’
t help himself.

“You
’
re
right,” James said.
“I’
m going over there.”

“Did you take a good look at that car?” Larry asked.

“I can
’
t
concentrate on this stuff anyway, so
I
might as well.”

The Harper family house stood majestic among trees in the elite suburb of Oxshott in Surrey. The rolling expanse of lush green lawn was only interrupted by a
winding cobblestone driveway.
Willow drove the Jaguar slowly up the driveway. She remembered the place. When she gave her name, Willow Barnes through the intercom, it had sounded wrong. She quickly added the matter concerned Claudia Harper.

She parked the old car in front of a garage door and walked to the front door. She climbed short stairs to the portico. The massive white columns were every bit as she remembered them. She smiled remembering chasing her cousin Ambrose around those very columns. There was a doorbell. When she was young
er
there was no doorbell, only the big brass knocker that still hung on the door.