Desire: Love and Passion (16 page)

“You haven’t seen the news in the paper as yet.”

“Forget the papers,” she said. “She’s your friend, she’s broke, homeless and has three kids.  It
’
s in your power to help,
so
I would expect nothing less. One of the reasons I invited you to
Dublin and the reason I’
m still here is because you know when and how to do the right thing. Everyone dodge
d
the diplomatic aid thing because of you, yet you did exactly what was supposed to be done despite the fact that you were helping old enemies. Now that I see what was done to you, you
’
re
an
even better man than I thought.”

“Move in with me,” he said.

“You don’t always live here, remember?”

“I only stay at St James Place when I’m really tired and working very late,” he said. “For you
,
I would be here every night.”

“You travel with everyone in this house except Henry. I would go out of my mind.”

“You’ll travel with me.”

“I have a business to run,” she said. 

“I’m not going to shoot down your every excuse,” he said. 

“Stop pouting,” she said and kissed him.

He pushed her away gently. 

“Mad at me?”
s
he asked.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

Her left hand ran down his naked body, across his waist and he caught it.

“I’m sure,” he said.

“Okay,” she said getting up. “Then I’m going home.”

“Are you going to threaten to go home every time we have an argument?” He turned to look at her.

“No, but if I’m going to be staying an extended time here I need to get more clothes and things like my laptop, my favorite cameras
,
you know
, t
he stuff I have to have.”

“Are you saying -?”

“I was saying I wanted to have sex now and then worry about packing later, but if you
’re
sure you are not in the mood, then -.”

He reached up and pulled her onto the bed. Now it was her turn to feign pushing him away as he pinned her under his body.

The first month living together was
all
about adjustments. She preferred to work into the early hours of the morning, he preferred going to bed at a reasonable hour. He preferred getting up early in the morning. She preferred getting up when the sun was closer to noon. Even though she had Henry, who prepared exquisite high end delicacies, Willow still relied heavily on a salad after work.

“James,” she said on Sunday morning after they finished making love
,
“I want to tell you something about me?”

“What is it?”
h
e asked.

“My name was not always Willow Barnes,” she said. “I was born Claudia Harper.”

The name had a ring of familiarity about it, but he could not quite place it at the moment.

“Okay,” he said slowly reaching into his mind for a memory.

“My parents were anthropologists,” she continued. “Doctors Akyini and Jeffrey Harper.”

Now the memory came to him. They were on
c
e Britain’s best known anthropologists.  They died tragically in
Central
America years ago. Their daughter, Claudia, had been presumed dead or kidnapped.

“Wow,” he said. “You’re like an open cold case.”

“Something like that,” she admitted. “I wasn’t missing or kidnapped, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. John was my godfather and at the time, I wanted nothing to do with my father’s family. My mother was an only child and her parents died a f
ew years before the accident
which meant my other relatives were all Harpers. John helped me change my name and I stayed in France until the whole thing died down.”

“You didn’t like your father’s family?”

“I loved them. For you to understand the state of my mind, I have to go back a little further. My father bought me my first camera when I was four or maybe five. I
absolutely adored
it. I took it everywhere I went. I had an unlimited supply of camera equipment. My father even taught me how to develop photographs by the time I was seven. My parents were also madly in love with each other and that’s where John came in. I was young, vulnerable to suggestions and he planted it in my mind that my father gave me all this photography stuff so I would stay out of his hair. Then the accident happened and everything got jumbled and messed up.”

“You were with them that day?”

“Yes. In the morning we all went to the site together because my parents had found what they beli
eved was a secret antechamber.
It turned out that the chamber was below and what was abo
ve was a very delicate bubble. They didn’t know.
I mean they measured parts of it and the walls were a foot thick, but then they climbed up and the top was only inches thick. It happened quickly, the ground gave out under my mother and my father reached out and snatched her out of the air, just like that. He was holding on to column he’d just planted. The column could not hold both their weights. My mother told him to him to let her go. She was crying, he was crying and I was crying.

“She kept whispering that she loved us and that my father needed to let go to save himself. He just kept trying to get
a good grip. It seem
ed like
forever. T
he whole thing started falling away and my father looked at me and said, ‘
Claudia, I love you but I cannot live knowing.  I hope one day you will forgive me
’. Then he swung her so high I thought that was it, they would make it, but the column broke away and he hugged her. They didn’t scream, just whispers in the wind, then a soft thud.

“I called John. I told him what happened. I could never forget my father
’s words
. And John said my father chose to die rather than live for me. At nine, it seemed plausible. It seemed right and I hated all things Daddy. And Daddy was a Harper, so I hated that
,
too. I didn’t figure out what my father meant for years, not until I was twenty one or twenty two and I was telling Michel about it one night. And
then
I understood. If my father had not caught my mother, it would have been okay. He would have lived and probably moved on, but the minute he caught her, he couldn’t let go. It was
no
t about loving me less, it was living with the guilt of knowing he had her in his grasp and let go.

“John and I sort of had a falling out after that. But I still loved him. I mean he gave me everything I ever wanted and he was a loving guardian. When he took sick and I went to visit him in the hospital, he told me about how my parents met. How he had invited my mother to a frat party and the moment my father laid eyes on her, he had said some corny thing like, ‘
where have you been all my life
’, and my mother said, ‘
waiting for the perfect moment
’. They wanted to get married the very next day, but my father’s parents insisted they ha
ve
a proper wedding so my parents set a maximum delay of two weeks, and that was it.
Twenty six years of marriage on a dumb line like that
, John said.

“The crazy thing is I forgave John. I couldn’t hate him anymore. I thought I would leave the hospital and find my father’s family and tell them everything. I drove up to the family house.  I was so close, just a few feet away
from the gate
and I couldn’t
go up and ring the bell
. I was so ashamed of how I had been easily manipulated and then two months later, you had to go and hit my car.”

“I
’m
sorry,” he said.

“You don’t get it,” Willow said.

“What do you mean?”

“When you came over to my car and I looked up at you, all I wanted to say was that stupid line, ‘
where have you been all my life?
’.
It wasn’t just the handsome face.
It was as if I knew you.
As if I had lived that day before and I was in a dream and I would wake up and you would be there beside me as you have always been. I
was afraid if I gave in to you then the whole dream would fall apart. You probably think it
’
s crazy or that I
’
m crazy.
I’
m not talking about déjà vu.  It
’
s just that sometimes when I
’
m with you there is this overwhelming sense of familiarity.
I still w
o
nder
if this is the dream or
if this
is reality. I love you, James.”

“Oh my
G
od,” he pulled her into a big hug and rained kissed all over her face. “I love you Will. I loved you the minute you look
ed
up at me with those big eyes.”

“That’s my demon
.”
 

“I love you,” he said again. “I love you.”

“Okay,” she laughed one of her throaty laughs that always excited him. “I got the message the first time.”

“I should have gotten the message the first time,” he said.

“What are you talking about?”

“The first time we made love. You trusted me.”

Chapter 11

Having now declared their love for each other meant they tried to compromise in their daily living. It also meant a surprise bouquet at her office on Monday, and a midday make out
session
at his office at lunch time.

“I have to go to China next week,” James said as he zipped his pants. “Can you take the time off?”

“When next week?” She asked.

“Tuesday,” he replied. “I should be back by
Saturday
.”

“I can’t make it,” she said. “I have a photo shoot until Wednesday.”

“You know,” he said
,
“
s
ince we
’
re living together
now,
we should sync our calendars.”

“That’s a good idea, but then you wouldn
’
t be surprised when I show up here for a lunch time quickie.”

“Those you can leave off the calendar,” he said as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
“Speaking of syncing calendars, I have a very, very late meeting this evening. Can we stay down the street tonight?”

“Sure.  I
’
ll have to run home for clothes, but that is okay.”

“Wait a minute,” James said. “If your photo-shoot ends on Wednesday, you could still make China.”

“I
’
ll be editing Thursday and Friday.”

“Are you sure you
’
ll be okay with just Henry and Daphne?”

“I’ll stay at my place.”

“No.  We
’
re living together
. No going back.”

“I better go if I’m going to get home and back to the office on time. I love you.”

“Love you too, Babe.”

She spotted him easily across the museum hall. He was with a tall beautiful woman.  She could re
ad all his body signs though it’
d been years. He was flirting, and she, with her left hand on his shoulder was flirting back.

Though she had easily spotted him, the little alcove in which they stood, talking
and
, laughing was very private. The telltale giveaway was his bodyguards. They stood stiffly and slightly out of place in the crowd. Of course, if not for that, there were othe
r signs.  T
heir suits
for example,
didn
’
t come off a designer rack - but her dress had.

Her eyes rarely left them as she made her way towards the
couple
. They were sipping champagne, oblivious
to everything
around them.

Stacey was but a few steps away when a bodyguard stepped directly in front of her.

"May I help you?"
h
e asked in a stoic voice.

"I was hoping to speak with James," she replied.

"He’s busy at the moment," the man replied.

"Do you know who I am?"
s
he asked.

"I
’
m sure he knows who you are," James
said
stepp
ing
around
Simon
. The woman was gone.
James
had a slightly annoyed look on his face
.