Desire: Love and Passion (22 page)

Willow put her hands over his and guided his hands down her body, across her breasts, down her belly and even further. She moaned when he touched her.

She brought his hands up her sides and then to her face. She kissed each palm delicately, as if they were flowers.

“I will never be repulsed by these hands,” she said. “
These are the hands of a protector, a lover
,
and a survivor. These hands did not hurt me. Your words hurt me, James. Not these hands. When you
’ve
touch
ed
me
,
haven’t I always begged for more?”

She leaned in and kissed him on the lips. He wrapped his arms around and kissed her back. He lifted her off the floor and brought her to the bed. Their love making was slow
and beautiful.

When James woke up, he was alone. It was a strange thing for him. For the time they lived together, she could not turn in the bed without him getting up. T
h
en he wondered for a moment if the previous night was a dream. He felt different this morning. He felt a hundred pounds lighter. Her side of the bed was rumpled. He could still smell her on the sheets. It wasn’t a dream
after all
.

He got up and took a shower, then dressed for the office. He could hear talking and laughing as he made his way down the stairs.

“I
’
m willing to negotiate for all copies of the video,” Willow said.

“Not even James could buy that video from me,” Larry said. 

“I look like a crazy person!”

“You were a crazy person.”

“Name your price,” Willow said.

James could hardly believe his ears. Willow and Larry were actually talking without him playing referee.

“Hmmm,” Larry said as if thinking about it. “I think the video is more valuable for future reference.”

“Good morning,” James walked into the kitchen. He was surprised to see Larry and Willow at the island while Henry was making breakfast.

“Hi,” Willow said.

“Good morning,” Larry answered.

“What are you guys doing here?” The question was directed to Henry especially.

“I had a craving for bacon. I would have cooked the bloody thing myself exce
pt we,” Willow patted her belly,
“
w
e hate the sight of raw bacon.”

“I could have done that.”

“You looked as if you needed your sleep, so I called Henry and the next thing
you know
, everyone came over.”

“What are you eating?” James asked as he saw a bowl with pickles sticking out of it and some creamy substance that looked like ice cream.

“Breakfast,” Willow said.

“What is that?” James pointed to the bowl.

‘Pickles and ice cream,” Willow replied as if it was the breakfast of champions.

“Henry, you let her eat this?”

“I
’
m not fighting with the appetite of a pregnant woman,” Henry said. “When Daphne was pregnant all she wanted was canned sardines mixed with egg salad. The
stuff
smelled vile. Taking it away
meant going
from vile to violent. No sir, I saw the video of a yellow Beetle being pounded to death.”

“Henry!” Willow said incredulously.

“Are they ganging up on you?” It was Cassandra. She had just entered the house. Giles was with her.

“Testosterone,” Willow said.

“Babe, you can’t eat pickles and ice cream for breakfast,” James said.

“I
’
m not,” she said as Henry plopped a plate of French toast crusted with almonds in front of her. There was a round of French toast for everyone including James.
“I’
m having French toast and ice cream with a side of pickles and bacon. I think that covers all the major food groups.”

“
Did you get the passes?” Cassandra said pouring syrup all over her French toast.

“Oh yes,” Willow replied. “They
’
re in my
pocketbook
upstairs.”

“What passes?” James asked.

“We
’
re going to a by-Jake fashion show,” Larry said. “I thought you got an invite.”

“I forgot to add it to the calendar,” Willow said looking at James.

“Okay,” he replied.

“I’ll add it later.”

They settled down to breakfast. After breakfast, Willow got her pocketbook and briefcase. Everyone was already getting ready to go.

“I’ll call you tonight,” James said before she got into the car with Giles.

“Bye.”

The night had been good but James did not delude himself
in
to think
ing they were back together.
The ball was
in her court.
It had always been in her court. 

Willow never wanted to be a model. Tonight she was playing the part only so he could see her like this. Michel, her best friend and owner of by-Jake
, had
constructed a special gown for her for the event. It was his interpretation of her wedding gown. It was beautiful piece
,
intricately hand embroidered with red lace and Swarovski crystal. It was the final piece for the show. Her intent was to tell James she was ready to move on with their relationship. That she had forgiven him. She hoped by seeing her like this, he would know that it was all for him.

James sat in the front row of the show with Cassandra, Henry
,
and Larry. This was not his first fashion show, but she had invited him and he wanted to be there. It would give whatever was happening between them some sense of normalcy. When she stepped on to the catwalk in the dress, he saw what he had always seen. She was a power
house
beauty. The dress was extravagant. It hugged every curve of her body magnificently. The dazzling train of red embroidered flowers glistening as she walked reminded him of rose petals on the train of a wedding dress. That was when it hit him. It was a wedding dress.

It was how he always pictured she would look on their wedding day. The thought that it would never happen filled him with immediate d
espair
. As he looked at her, his heart broke.  The emotion cut so deep, he had to get out. He had to get away.
He fled the show as a deep searing pain ripped through his heart.

             
It was Christmas Eve. The fashion show was over a month ago. They had barely spoken since. Willow planned on moving back to her house after the holidays. Though Edna told her she was always welcomed to stay, Willow wanted her own space again. 

Her cousins were visiting for the holidays and the house was especially loud and festive.  Her two youngest cousins
,
Haley who was sixteen and Faith, who was seventeen, had the biggest crush on James.
He stopped by once, and they went on a giggle fest for almost an hour
.
  Tonight she could tell he had arrived because she could hear them giggl
ing
and running down the stairs. She went out to see him.

             
“I thought you were spending Christmas with us,” she heard her grandmother say to James.
They were in the kitchen.

             
“I would love to,” he said
,
“
b
ut I always spend it with my closest employees.”

             
“Willow is going to be so disappointed,” Edna said though she had never discussed the matter with Willow.

             
“I am sure she will understand,” James said. “I’ll come by on Boxing Day
, if that’
s okay.”

             
Willow withdrew
and
went back upstairs
to her room
. Though she had
not
discussed it with him or her grandmother, she was looking forward to seeing him Christmas Day. She had taken the time to put some thought into her present.

             
She heard a short rap on her door a few minutes later.

             
“Come in,” she said.

             
He came into the room, a big smile on his face. She got off the bed and went to him.  They hugged and shared a short kiss.

             
“Are you staying?”
s
he asked
,
already knowing the answer.

             
“No.”

             
“Oh.”

             
“It isn’t that I want to go,” he said. “You are here, with your family. Henry, Larry, Cassandra and the whole group of people that live at my house, they
’
re my family.”

             
“So bring them here,” Willow said. “We can have Christmas together.  I
’
m sure Nana would love Henry’s skills in the kitchen, even yours.”

             
“She suggested the same thing,” James said. “But tomorrow is a day for family.”

             
“We are your family,” she said with a hand on her belly. “And I talk to Cassandra all the time, e
ven
Larry
’
s
not been like the Grinch
lately
. We have the space. If you stay over here with me then everyone else can hol
e up
in the guest house.”

             
“You’
re making this difficult,” he said. “Good thing I know it’s only hormones talking. I have to go.”

             
“I got you a present,” she said. “You cannot open it before tomorrow night.”

             
She gave him the small box from her bedside table.

             
“I
have your present here as well
,” he said.
“And since I have a time restriction, you cannot open it until tomorrow night
, too
.”

             
He gave her a square box, about
three
inch
es
thick. She was disappointed as she guessed it was jewelry.
She wa
l
ked him downstairs
and to the door
. Her cousins giggled as he kissed her briefly on the lips and left.

             
“I thought he was staying for Christmas,” Kenneth said entering the room with a reindeer hat on and eggnog in his hand.

             
Willow never cease
d
think
ing
how much he looked like her father. She could imagine her father exactly like that. The thought brought her some joy and some sadness.

             
“He had other plans,” Willow said.

             
“Nonsense,” Kenneth said. “Mother, did you ask James to stay for the holiday?”

             
Kenneth went into the kitchen to talk to his mother. Willow went back upstairs. Christmas was a difficult holiday for her. It had always been
that way
since her parent
s
died. She
’d
spent a lot of it since with Michel and his family, but it was not quite the same as a Harper Christmas. As a kid, they would come over on Christmas Eve, just like now when everyone was still on their way or was already here. The house would be filled with
the joyful
noise of people discussing politics or some crazy subject. The kids would be running around having discretely stolen sips of Edna’s eggnog that was laced with rum. Come midnight they would start ripping presents open. There would be mayhem and paper everywhere. Until now, Willow didn’t realize how much she
’d
missed that. She also didn’t realize how much she
’d
wanted to share that with James.

             
She curled up in the bed with her e-book reader. The noise downstairs and the smells from the kitchen lulled her to sleep.

             
Knocks on the door woke her. It was Christmas morning.

             
“Who is it?” She turned towards the door.

             
The door opened and a tall lanky figure walked in.

             
“Ambrose!” She shouted and got off the bed. She hugged her cousin fiercely.