Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (56 page)

“You should know before we get there, if Travis is a dick I’m bringing her with us ’til Ace gets home.” Her no-nonsense statement leaves me quiet. I’m not about to piss her off again; I don’t like the distance between us.

Once we get to Trav’s, Lacey gets out of my car and slams the door. She walks ahead of me, but waits at the door before we knock.

Kate answers; she looks tired and a little sad. “Hi, Kate,” I say quietly.

She doesn’t offer a greeting but steps to the side, letting Lacey me inside, and then closing the door behind us.

“Is Travis around?” I ask, not seeing him anywhere in the apartment.

Kate’s expression now borders between disappointment and guilt. “He’s in his room.”

“Sarah?” Lacey asks Kate, who’s moving to the couch and folding the blankets. It looks like that’s where she slept.

Kate nods to the bedroom. “She may be in my room,” Lacey states as she passes me.

I follow her in but head toward Trav’s room. When I open the door, my stomach clenches in fear, anger, and frustration. Travis and Sarah are asleep in his room. Travis is seated and sleeping in a chair next to the bed. His hand hangs over the side of it, but not alone. It’s holding hers as she sleeps next to him on the bed.

Signaling to Lacey that I found Travis, I motion for her to go back to the living room. Her eyes widen in realization. I nod, giving her a harsh glare and pointing to the living room.

After she’s gone, I clear my throat quietly, hoping to wake either of them. Trav’s body jolts in surprise and he quickly looks around the room until his eyes find mine.

“We’re going to have fucking problems,” I announce to no one. Trav’s not listening; he’s still taking in the situation with confusion. Lifting my thumb over my shoulder, I tell him, “I’ll be out here when you’re ready.”

His hands find his eyes and he pushes his palms against them. I watch his throat tense as he stretches and starts to stand from the chair, stretching his back as he does. Sarah starts to move and shift, but he puts his hand on her back to stop her. She settles immediately under that comforting touch.

I back away and find Lacey talking to Kate in the living room as Kate collects her things. I see tears ready to fall and my heart aches for her.

This is bullshit. All of it.

“Lacey, can you check on and wake up Sarah?” I hear Trav running the shower, putting off the inevitable truth he’s about to face.

“Sure.” Lacey walks by me, raising on her toes and kissing my cheek while squeezing my arm, both in an act of reassurance.

“Kate,” I call before she makes her way to the door.

She stops, looks to the ceiling, and then turns to me. “Don’t say anything. It’s okay.”

I walk toward her, look down, and offer a small smile. She returns it with one of her own so I know she’s not destroyed, but she’s hurt. “I should have given him to Derek,” she says.

“He’s not gay. You know this, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter; he’s not available. So now I wish I would have.” My eyebrows furrow, not understanding her meaning. “I can’t compete with Sarah,” she tells me shyly. “She calls, texts, and then last night . . . she could have taken Lacey’s room, but she was so drunk and out of her head, he didn’t bother to send her there. They were screaming and yelling . . .” She pauses, carefully choosing her words. “ . . . like an old married couple. It was painful to watch being the outsider who’s
supposed
to be on the inside.” Sighing, she confesses, “I liked him.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve picked her up and not called Travis.”

“You did what you thought was right.” She reassures me in a way I wish Lacey would have. It doesn’t make my decision right, but it justifies my intentions were good.

“Trav will call you later,” I offer before she walks out.

“No. Maybe not tell him I was even here this morning.”

“Okay.”

Closing the door on one of the sweetest and kindest people I’ve ever met, I hear Lacey come in behind me.

“She’s sick.” Her arms go around my waist before she finishes, “I hate puke. I’m going to give her some bread.”

“I’m going to talk to Travis.”

“He’s about done. I heard the water shut off.”

“Go, hang with Sarah if you would. We’ll go soon.”

As she lets me go, she kisses my back between my shoulders and reminds me, “Different friends serve a different purpose. Be the purpose for them both, Hayden.”

Right.

A few minutes later, Trav comes out of the bathroom. He looks tired, but still angry.

“What was that?” I ask calmly, headed toward his small dining room table and taking a seat.

“What the fuck was what?” he snaps back. His quick mental reflection is his giveaway.

“Travis.” I take my time to explain the obvious, hoping for absolute denial. “When we got here, Kate was sleeping on your couch and Sarah was in
your room.
”

He tenses while adding water to the carafe, prepping to make coffee. “She wasn’t ‘in my room’ like that, so don’t fuckin’ say that shit again.”

“Looked it from where I was standing.”

“She wasn’t drunk, Hayden,” he continues to explain. “She was
annihilated.
Trashed. Blitzed. When I picked her up at the station, she refused to get in the goddamn Jeep, screaming at the top of her fuckin’ lungs for
Hayden.
”

I don’t have time to feel the guilt I know I’ll feel later. I press him for more. “And so, tell me how she ended up in your bed.”

“When we got back, she said some things to Kate. Not nice things. She didn’t mean them, but she was crazed. When she went to my room and passed out on my bed, I was fucking
thankful.
”

“So you left her there.” I finish his story for him, relieved that maybe I mistook the situation I had walked in on.

“Fuck yeah, I was relieved. I had never seen her like that.”

He finishes readying the coffee and starts the machine before coming to the table and sitting across from me. I sense there’s more to the story when he says my name, his soft voice unusual.

“Yeah?”

“Last night, when I was trying to put her in my Jeep, she was running off at the mouth. Like, really running off at the mouth. Not just Sarah ranting either.”

“And?” I’m bracing but he’s stalling. “Say it. What?”

“She had sex at that party.”

“Fuck.”

Thoughts of everything Lacey was telling me last night come rushing back. Sarah is a teenage girl, searching for a place to feel wanted and a place where she belongs.

“It was her first time,” he adds, not letting me process. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Travis, wait.”

His eyes rise to mine across the table. I’ve only seen Travis like this a few times in our lives. “She was drunk. He fucked her, left her, so she drank more. Men were in that house, and he wasn’t watching her once he was done with her.”

“Fuck.”

“He’s dead.”

“Travis.” I exhale, trying to find words to calm his anger. He’s not pissed at Sarah as I thought he’d be. I understand why he’s not, especially in light of more information.

“By the time we got home, she was crying and screaming. She was out of control. I never wished for Ace as much as I did last night. I thought about calling him. I
should
have called him.”

“God, I’m sorry.”

“After I got her settled and she lay down, I didn’t want to move her. She wouldn’t stop screaming. Kate was upset. Sarah was crying. It was messy.”

“I bet.”

“Fuck, Raegan should be here for this.” He hesitates before he finishes telling me more about last night. “She kissed me.”

“Who kissed you? Kate?”

“No.” The answer hangs between us and I don’t have words. “It wasn’t deep and meaningful or anything like that, but she kissed me. I wanted someone to know.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, not good. Like I said, it wasn’t like that. It came out of nowhere. I was trying to get her to lie down, and she just did it.”

“What did you say?” I ask, picturing an already fucked-up Sarah receiving more rejection.

“Nothing. I couldn’t. I pulled her off me and sat her down on the bed. She fell to her side and landed on the bed shortly after. Thank fuck for that. I doubt she remembers it.”

“She won’t.”

“She wasn’t Sarah. Sarah would know better than to fucking put her hands on me like that. It was wrong.”

“She’s lost,” I tell him, but he already knows.

“Aren’t we all?” he states quietly, and then silence hovers between us.

“I am so fucking sorry. I should have gone after her.”

“To be honest? I’m glad you didn’t. You know how she feels about you. I don’t want to think about her putting her hands on you in that way.”

“Better you than me, I guess. Ace would fucking kill me. He’ll let it go . . . for you.” Again, I’m reminded of what my friends think of me. The truth slams in my face and I hate my hurt reaction to it. I should be used to being judged and convicted for my heinous acts of seduction.

“I need to get her up and ready. She and I are gonna talk and I want
names,
all of them.”

“Travis, you can’t go off halfcocked on a killing spree.”

“Can’t I?”

“No. You can’t. She’s sixteen, I get that. She can give you names but don’t do anything other than talk to the cops.”

“Be serious.”

“Be reasonable.”

“Who should be reasonable?” Lacey asks, standing at the kitchen entrance. Her shirt is wet so I assume Sarah’s still sick.

“Come sit,” I tell Lacey, appreciating the tension break between Travis and me.

Lacey makes her way to me, skipping all open and available chairs left at the table and plopping down in my lap. Travis says nothing, offering no smart remark to her choice; his mind is on vengeance for our sick, lost friend in the other room.

“How is she?” Travis asks her, looking down at his hands.

“She’s okay. She doesn’t remember much. She remembers some . . . things.” Lacey’s delay causes Trav to raise his head. She nods her head to the un-asked question then clarifies.

“She told me.”

“Is she okay? Will she be okay?”

“Travis, every woman loses her virginity and it’s not always pretty. Sometimes it’s downright ugly. Sarah will be okay. She’s more scared of Ace . . . and you. She said she treated you pretty badly last night.”

“It’s okay,” he assures.

“I thought so. I told her that.” Turning in her seat, Lacey grabs my face and says, “She wants to talk to you.”

“Me? Why?” I hate drama. I hate being caught in
Sarah’s
drama. ‘Stick a needle in my eye’ type of hate.

“She didn’t say, just asked for you.”

Tapping Lacey’s leg, I signal her to let me get up. I stand and look down at Travis who sits looking as miserable as I’ve ever seen him, and that’s saying a lot. I hit his shoulder.

“It’ll be okay. This mess will fix itself. Ace will be pissed, but he’ll deal.”

“So will I,” he fumes, with venom aimed to paralyze the man who was with Sarah last night. I shudder in reaction to his stance. They better pray to God it’s Ace who gets to them first. He’ll act first and think in action. Trav won’t think at all.

Knocking on Sarah’s door, I open it to see her sitting on the bed leaning over a bucket. “Sick, squirt?”

I hear her sob before seeing her head raise and find me standing in the doorway. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“Why didn’t you come get me, Hayden?”

I stand firm. “It wasn’t my place.”

Her voice rises slightly and she winces in pain as it does. “It wasn’t Trav’s place!”

“You fucked up. Own it. Deal with the consequences and move forward.”

“Some consequences are forever,” she mumbles, playing with the bed sheet she’s moved onto her lap.

“Some are; some aren’t.”

Her face raises, her blonde hair plastered to one side with sweat. “She told you?”

“No, Travis did.”

Her hands come to her face, hiding her shame and embarrassment. “Oh, God.”

“Lace said you wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah, thought I’d start apologizing and make you the first.”

“I accept.”

“Thank you.”

“We’re gonna head out. You and Trav need to talk.”

“He hates me.”

“He loves you. We all do.” She knows the truth of this deep down, but she’s struggling to find anything she knows to be true.

“I don’t know why.”

“You’ll figure that out, but ’til you do, go easy on yourself and try to stay out of trouble.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Hayden

FOR THE LAST two weeks, Lacey and I have spent more time together than apart. Shelby and Mel have been training her to run the bar in their absence and I’ve been helping Mel balance and adjust the books to bring in a healthier profit. We’re working more and more during the day and end up spending our nights together.

The sex is thoroughly satisfying and never ending.

Her appetite for sex matches mine. Since she’s all but moved into my place, we’ve been exploring each other’s likes and dislikes in and out of the bedroom. Going to sleep with her in my bed and waking with her body against mine has been refreshing in comparison to how I once was. Each evening is different from the one before. We watch movies, play cards, hang out with the others, but most of all we talk.

She hasn’t once pressured me for more than what we already have.

Tonight, we’re at The Ward having a drink with the rest of the group. Thursday nights aren’t generally as packed as it is tonight, but with Dragon’s Mansion playing for the last time the crowd has piled in. It seems Sheridan has finally put his money where his mouth is and possibly set his temper and ego aside. He and his group have found a bigger venue downtown and he won’t be playing here anymore.

Thank fuck.

“Kate’s here,” I tell Travis as he sits at my side talking with Raegan and getting an update regarding Sarah.

Sarah refuses to speak to Travis or me. Against her wishes, we told Ace what happened, including her kissing Travis in the midst of her drunken state. As we all knew, shit hit the fan and Sarah has been sentenced to the confines of her house with Bean until she turns eighteen. Lace and I agree this is a mistake because knowing Sarah, she’s plotting her escape and it’ll be a big one.