Diary of a Vampeen (23 page)

Though he didn’t rustle the bed, I
felt a slight tug of the sheets beneath me when Kellan nestled
beside me awkwardly. I refused to acknowledge his presence and
turned my face up on the opposite side.

“Lexi,” he called me in a soft voice.
Anger rushed through me; rage, disbelief. I felt like the child
that got picked on constantly. I was offered no break, no
intermission before another issue pushed in. And Kellan, granted he
protected me a bit ago, confused me.

“Kellan, what do you want?” And
without warning, I exploded on him. “One minute you’re telling me
your secrets and my own, schmoozing me, the next you’re cocky and
throwing my attraction for you in my face. You claim my friendship
but then play games. Make up your mind. Either you’re going to be
my friend or you’re going to be a permanent jerk like the other
night!”

“I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m
honestly not too good with the whole friend thing though, at least
not with you,” he replied, putting one hand on my back but removing
it quickly.

I flipped sides to look at him.
“Explain,” I ordered. He seemed genuine and I knew my verbal vomit
was partially stress-induced by outside concerns piled on top of
his, but he was the brunt for now nonetheless.

“I connected with you immediately. I
assumed that was because of our common bond and placed you in the
friend zone. When I started talking to you more, I realized we have
more in common. I’m not trying to play games with you Lexi; the
back and forth is my own mental battle over where I stand with
you.”

“Get to the point, please,” I
sighed.

“I feel the same,” he
blurted.

I continued to assess him. Emotions
swarmed me from all areas of the spectrum. I was happy to hear what
I wanted to from him, but angry and – I was just a bad potion of
all the wrong feelings and the right battling each
other.

“I think the adrenaline is catching up
with you,” I settled on. I wouldn’t be made a fool of
anymore.

“Lexi, I know without you saying it
that you feel the same. Now why are you rejecting what you’ve
wanted all along?” he demanded searching my eyes in
frustration.

“I’m still with Mike,” I replied
softly swallowing hard with regret.

Now I was super confused. Kellan was
the untouchable perfection that would never be attainable for me;
Mike was the touchable human love that had extended himself to me
without hesitation. Kellan had remained distant, cold on some
levels despite my odd connection with him that I still couldn’t
explain; Mike hadn’t played any games with me nor kept me at arm’s
length as Kellan had. This unexplainable desire deep within me
longed to connect on a new level with Kellan though, not Mike. I
guess the saying is true. You really can’t choose the ones you
love.

My mind tried to wrap itself around
the possibility of me and Kellan, but I still had a hard time
believing him… “Kiss me,” I abruptly ordered.

“What?” he looked at me in
shock.

“See. If you felt the same as me, you
wouldn’t hesitate.” At least, that is what I was trying to convince
myself of.

“Hesitation doesn’t constitute a lack
of certainty; it means I have a conscience. You just said you’re
with Mike,” he defended inserting his ego between lines.

“Whatever Kellan,” I scoffed in
frustration. Thank God my logic still operated around him. I knew
he could never feel equally as strong about me as I did
him.

“Screw it!”

“Wha-?” But I couldn’t finish the
word. He ambushed me, unleashing whatever was pent up. This kiss,
the touch of his lips to mine, shot fireworks overhead. It felt
like I was kissing my long lost lover who’d been away at sea for
years. It’s like the magician connected the rings that were
separate just moments ago, but belonged together.

The cooler temperature of his skin as
he caressed my face with his hands, pulling me in closer, only
further ignited the flame. I was getting hotter, not colder. How
could this feel so right?

Kellan was an amazing kisser. His lips
matched mine perfectly; his hands encompassed my face as if each
groove was a flawless fit. Suddenly, amidst Kellan’s intensity
increase, the pieces slid together for me; I recognized a distinct
difference.

With Mike, I was ready to move to the
next base when the sparks flew on our lips, to be further involved
with him physically alone. With Kellan, the craving surged
internally. The feistier the pressing of our mouths, the harder I
was searching to feel his soul. The way he searched for mine in his
gaze was identical to how hard I was trying to touch the surface of
his with this embrace.

Kellan began to pull away and I gave
up on discovering all of him. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I
was trying to feel him. If we were soul mates, shouldn’t I have
found the edge of his soul with our embrace? Felt a surge of
overwhelming confirmation? Alas, I didn’t.

He carefully lifted off of me, looked
directly into my eyes and bluntly declared, “I don’t lie.” A second
later my door closed softly and he was gone.

I sat up in my bed and stared around
my room. I never assumed this could be so complex. I believe that
sparks truly do fly when you kiss your soul mate; you become as one
spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally, sharing mirror
image connections so intense you couldn’t deny it in any way. And
once you’d felt this rush as one intimately, the bond is unable to
be severed despite distance, evil setbacks or generations of
time.

Maybe I was wrong. Had I been
searching for a lie? Was I looking for the Fountain of Youth – a
figment of my imagination that just didn’t exist? I’d never
questioned my conviction on this subject until now. Of course, a
month ago I’d never kissed a boy and a week ago I’d never known a
vampire or been forced to question my theories.

This was overwhelming… all of it. I
looked at my bedside clock. 12:34pm - less than twelve hours to
go.

How does one prepare to
become a vampeen? Duh Lexi! Watch the movies.
Hollywood has a lot of myths wrong, but some are dead on.
Like controlling the mind of a human; they can’t actually tap into
our minds, but they can hypnotize us in a way. And though not all
vampires are drop dead gorgeous, as I’d learned with Keira today,
they do hold some type of physical allure.

Hmm… Which to begin with? My stomach
growled a low rumble as I slid off my bed. I did eat this morning.
Thinking back though, I threw out half my breakfast and only took a
few sips of my drink abandoning the majority of it on the shelf
when Kellan raced me to safety.

I browsed the DVDs
preprogrammed into the fancy system my dad installed and connected
to my TV. I threw the remote back on my bed when I found
Twilight
.

I walked into my closet to pull out a
lighter fitted tee to wear in place of the baggy white t-shirt I’d
worn since last night. I was about to pull the new tee over my head
when there was a tap at my door. Assuming it was my mom since
Kellan left and neither Al nor my dad would come up, I
instinctively called, “Come in.”

I turned to the door, arms in the
sleeves but tee still dangling in my arms held over my head. My bra
was my only upper body cover in this moment and yet I froze when I
saw Kellan. He closed the door and set a to-go box on my bed and
cold coke on my nightstand.

He nonchalantly walked directly up to
me, pulled my shirt down over my head for me, and said, “Come
eat.”

I remained still, in shock, not over
my flab being exposed, but because of his demeanor. He acted as if
he saw nothing. Mike would have taken full advantage of the
situation, yet Kellan just discarded it. The sad part – I didn’t
know which I preferred.

Oh my gosh. What was wrong with me?
Did I want to be groped and treated like a piece of meat by a guy?
Of course not… Kellan did the respectful thing. So why did that
upset me?

I reevaluated their different
responses; Mike jumping me and uncovering more versus Kellan
covering me up and walking away. Of course. It’s clear as day. Mike
would acknowledge his attraction to me; pay me a compliment with
his strategic moves. But Kellan simply covered me up, as if my body
was something to hide, to be ashamed of. This had always been my
hesitation with Kellan. I knew all too well that he was only
interested in my after-transformation body. If I was completely
honest with myself, this single entity was what built the wall of
defense around the idea of Kellan liking me.

“It’s not true,” Kellan stated
factually.

“What?” I asked snapping back to
reality, unfreezing my position to sit next to him on my
bed.

“I can see it on your face. I am
attracted to you now. You have a curvy womanly figure more men than
you realize like. My dad being raised in a different time, he has
instilled old fashion values and morals in me. I would never take
advantage of you like that,” he explained as if he could read my
mind.

“Hey. You can’t… you know… read
people’s minds can you?” I checked nervously.

He laughed shaking his head. “No. I’m
not an Edward.”

“So you do know who he is,” I grinned
slyly as if I’d caught a bandit red-handed.

“I didn’t before. I grew curious and
researched it Tuesday. It’s a good book. He’s quite a perfect
vampire theoretically. No mortal or immortal compares,” he replied.
“And now I get to see the movie. Glad I’ve done my homework,” he
smiled with a dark, sarcastic gleam in his eyes.

Breathtaking. That’s the only word I
could use to describe Kellan in this moment. He’s unpredictable,
mysterious in that sense. It’s part of his sinister charm. His
dimple, glorious smile and beautiful green eyes swindled my logic
with one showcase.

“Eat Lexi,” he insisted. “I hear your
stomach growling.”

“Oops,” I smiled shyly somewhat
embarrassed.

I opened the box to find my favorite
chicken enchiladas with a side of chips and queso blanco. I dipped
and bit a chip simultaneous to him pressing play.

The next six and a half hours I spent
watching movies with Kellan in my bed. I felt completely safe with
him. After this morning, I knew he would protect me at all costs.
In that sense, I preferred Kellan over Mike. I knew Mike would die
trying to protect me, but in essence, he would do just that – die.
Kellan I knew would come back to me unscratched or with few
injuries.

We didn’t touch during those hours. He
kept his distance in typical Kellan fashion. It was all very
innocent, very gentlemanly of him.

Chapter 15

The credits began to roll when Kellan
announced, “Time for dinner!”

“Huh?” I questioned, surprised by his
spontaneity.

“It’s 7:15; time for dinner. Come on,”
he repeated pulling me down off my bed and towards the stairs. As
we reached the bottom I heard the coordinated crowd yell,
“Surprise! Happy Birthday!”

We rounded the corner to a dining room
lit with soft white candles of varying heights, white flowers of
multiple angiosperms on the table and matching petals strewn on the
floor. It was elegantly decorated with white and silver balloon
bouquets filling the corners. The table held fancy plates and
silverware sets. A big bowl of fettuccini alfredo dressed with
freshly chopped parsley and parmesan shavings sat on one side,
several almost raw steaks covered in red blood on the other and a
beautiful white and silver cake was the centerpiece. I felt like I
was walking into a wedding hall, not my dining room.

“What is all this?” I gasped taking it
in.

“Happy Birthday Lexi,” my Aunt Claire
squealed excitedly.

“This is your last human birthday. We
have to celebrate it somehow,” my dad explained. He attempted to
sound solemn in his words, but I sensed the underlying dread in his
voice and tension in his smile.

My mother had her arm around him in a
gentle open hug and added, “Let’s eat, celebrate and enjoy your
last hours as a happy family.”

I smiled tenderly. “I wasn’t expecting
this… And you!” I turned to Kellan. “You knew this whole time and
didn’t say a word. You kept distracting me with movie after
movie.”

“I had no choice. Every one of them
threatened me if I told you,” he said pointing at the faces staring
back at me.

I laughed, “I guess I can
understand.”

The next four and half hours I
laughed, cried, and celebrated my life up until now. Al cooked the
meal which tasted exquisite, as if it was imported from the finest
Italian restaurant in Tuscany. My dad and I reminisced over my
childhood. Up until middle school I was the epitome of a daddy’s
girl and still am at heart. In a special moment I reminded him of
that which was what brought on the bought of tears by all the women
at the table.

Beth shared stories from Spain while
Al gave me a few more vampire facts to absorb. Aunt Claire shared
stories from her and my mother’s transformation. They laugh now at
their hysterics and mishaps, such as running into walls, unable to
stop abruptly when they didn’t have complete control over their new
abilities; but I knew back then they felt overwhelmed just as I did
now.