Diary of an Expat in Singapore (29 page)

Your child may spontaneously assume the Buddha position to decide where to put up the tree.

Nothing says Christmas in Southeast Asia like a pine needle tree bought at Ikea and flown in from Sweden. It is only right, therefore, that such a momentous decision as where to place this tree be made by your child… in the Buddha position.

You’re not the only one who thinks going to Singapore’s Snow City is a good idea.

Singapore boasts its own Snow City. I would only recommend it if having ice shoved down your jacket collar is your idea of fun. On the plus side, your children might be less enthusiastic about ice and snow after getting frostbitten ears.

You are thinking of having your entire Christmas dinner home-delivered.

Sounds extravagant, yet this is what a lot of expats like to do. Well, the ones who don’t relish slaving in the kitchen on the maid’s day off. Most hotels and restaurants have embraced this lucrative business and deliver everything from the huge roast all the way down to the brussels sprouts. They know there is only one thing an expat likes more than a turkey dinner: not having to cook that turkey dinner.

Swimming outdoors… it is Singapore, after all

If you, like me, hate crafts, long car trips, and anything involving a rollercoaster, then this is the list for you. Head for the pool – yours, a neighbour’s, any chlorinated body of water will do. They’re kids after all. Tip: Take a book and large hat… just so they realize you’re not actually jumping in the pool with them.

Kinokuniya bookshop

Hours of fabulous browsing and reading. Some people measure their parenting skills on what schools their children get into or how well they do on a math test… that’s not me. My only goal was achieving independent reading at a bookshop. Theirs. Now that I no longer have to sit down next to them on the floor reading ‘Cat in the Hat’, my duty as a parent is over. I mean, there’s still college but the bulk of the job is pretty much done. Before achieving this state of reading nirvana, entering bookshops felt masochistic. Surrounded by hundreds of books yet unable to read any of them. Being able to read the books I want at a bookshop has made me a better parent. For some, it might be enjoying a cocktail before dinner, for me it’s browsing the Booker Prize selections. Small tip: You may or may not want to avoid the stationery area. That really depends on your disposable income.

A yummy breakfast in Little India

A good way to assess your kids’ spicy index. After a vegetarian breakfast at Syed Alwi Road, you can check out the little shops nearby selling pocket watches, silk scarves, and colourful bracelets. You can even pop into Singapore’s only 24-hour emporium called Mustafa. Here you can change money, buy gold, find fountain pen ink, or stock up on travel-size toiletries (maybe that’s just me).

Go to the movies

Just remember to check the rating first. What you thought was a Disney movie might be rated NC-16 in Singapore. Better not assume; not all movies are appropriate. Singapore has pretty stringent rules so check first. And remember to dress as though you were going for a walk in the snow and you’ll be fine. The good news is the extensive food selection. Forget about buttery popcorn, you can feast on dried fish.

Ice skating

Yes, it really is possible in Singapore. In fact, there is even a new Olympic rink. Allow some time beforehand to buy matching hat and gloves. At least an hour if you have Italian kids.

Coffee and scones at Ah Teng Bakery

This cosy little bakery tucked away in Raffles Hotel has got to be the best deal in town. Have your kids bring notebooks and pens so you can read the newspaper in peace. Afterwards, you can buy his and hers white fluffy robes, coffee mugs, vintage hotel posters. Raffles is a veritable blast from the past. You can walk through the lush grounds where Rudyard Kipling, Joseph Conrad and Somerset Maugham walked, or check out the suites where they slept and that are now named after them.

Stay home and watch television

TV gets a pretty bad rap and in my house faces tough competition from video games, newspapers, and real estate websites, but there are some good shows worth watching that might even expand your child’s horizons. Okay, maybe not ‘Banged Up Abroad’. My son loves ‘Mythbusters’, ‘Grand Designs’, and ‘Kings of Restoration’. We’re thinking inventor, architect, or squatter. My daughter instead loves staying in her own room playing with her stuffed animals and singing. Interestingly enough, my son has pointed out that not all singers have a good voice, i.e. Korean boy bands. They just have good hair. The kid does have a point. Still, it’s a good idea that Eliot wants to be a singer
or a vet
… always good to have a back-up plan.