Did You Read That Review ? (38 page)

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Authors: Amazon Reviewers

Tags: #Humor & Entertainment, #Humor, #Parodies, #Trivia & Fun Facts, #Reference, #Curiosities & Wonders

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35 of 36 people found the following review helpful

It’s all in the manufacturing, people! Wake up!

By
A. Tanguay
, June 22, 2008

I got the 20-page brochure for this cable when I was at CES, and you guys are all missing some really interesting details about this product. Come on people, research!

Did you know that the special, “high-purity copper” is mined by hand…meaning NO tools of any kind…by Tibetan Lamas for their entire lives? Only when these Lamas reach true Enlightenment while digging will that copper be used. All the rest is thrown into an active volcano.

The design for this cable started in the mid 1940s. Denon started the R&D using the best scientists who had just left the Manhattan Project. They didn’t even know how this cable would be used; they just knew it HAD to be built. Albert Einstein himself was rumored to have weighed in on certain design aspects.

The heat-shrink tubing is applied by the heat of the eternal flame on JFK’s grave by a first-generation Kennedy.

The sheathing material is knitted in zero G on NASA’s “vomit comet” jets. Did you know only 4 inches of it can be knitted a day? Yeah, see, you feel pretty dumb now.

Finally, each cable is encased in a gold sarcophagus and flown to the Vatican on the lap of Tom Hanks for blessing by the Pope. Denon’s shipment facilities are just outside of the Vatican.

Customer Questions & Answers

Does anyone know when the flux capacitor option for time warp dedicated link is going to be available?

Yesterday

Dule-Nukem-Dan
answered on July 18, 2011

182 of 191 people found the following review helpful

It’s full of stars!

By
S. Mayo
, June 20, 2008

If Denon had captured the Divine light of creation and distilled it into 1.5 meters of ultramegaradioactive copper, it could not have been better than this cable. Just holding the packaging it comes in, I can see distant galaxies and, though you may not believe it, hear what the aliens there are thinking. THAT is how good this cable is. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. Honestly, looking at it is better than foreplay. You feel wracking, orgastic shivers just touching it. I just know that zeroes and ones will achieve true integer perfection when they travel this cable. But I’m afraid to actually install it. I might die. Denon has, in marketing this, permanently entered the rarified realm of vendors inhabited by the likes of Machina Dynamica. I honestly can’t think of a better way to express my feelings on this product than that. I’m breathless to see what they want to sell us next!

139 of 150 people found the following review helpful

Do not taunt the AKDL1

By
L. Laregina
, June 15, 2008

Potential warning to other users: I made the mistake of taunting the AKDL1. I am a battered shell of a man. Though, I must admit, I do appreciate the crisp highs and thundering lows.

What happens when a Denon cable is used for tripping.

3M Performance Plus Nuclear Duct Tape

Check out the real thing:
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3.8 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
3M Performance Plus Nuclear Duct Tape, Slate Blue, 48 Millimeter by 54.8 Meter

ASIN:
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Price:
     
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The 3M 48-millimeter-by-54-meter Slate Blue Performance Plus Nuclear Duct Tape is designed for permanent and temporary use and can be applied both indoors and outdoors. It offers clean removal with little or no adhesive residue from most opaque surfaces up to six months after application. The slate blue color makes it ideal for use in nuclear facilities, and it is certified for low leachable halogens and sulfur. It also provides sunlight and UV resistance for up to one year without the backing deteriorating or delaminating. This product is especially ideal for applications in the shipbuilding, nuclear power plant, and stainless steel industries. The tape is 13 milinches thick and measures 48 millimeters by 54 meters (width × length).

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 23 people found the following review helpful

The house and the dog, too!

By
D. Lew
, June 14, 2009

Let’s face it, people. We live in an unstable world. The economy is going to the toilet, housing prices sinking as fast as the economy, consumer confidence at an all time low, and let’s not forget the crazy Kim Jong Il from North Korea and his “new” and improved nuclear weapons. So with all the fear and uncertainty that exist in this world
we live in, I decided to purchase this tape to protect my family. I purchased the $500 box of tape because this is just a great deal! What would the US government pay for this? $1,000? $2,000? $10,000?? Certainly not! To my surprise I found out that the government pays $100,000 for 1 roll!!! I figured if the government pays that much then, at $500 for a case, this must be a steal! After receiving the box of Nuclear Tape from Amazon, I quickly strategized how I would tape the whole house. The entire house! It was not easy. It helps when you “pretend” to be injured and are on worker’s compensation. But in any case, it was an arduous process since my house is over 4000 sq. feet. It took me at least 3 days to finish the job, and I must say I’m very happy with the results. My house, instead of having siding, now is a solid light-blue color. I don’t need to clean the windows anymore since there are no more windows thanks to this magnificent tape. Now some people may ask how do I know for sure I have everything covered? Well, I set off a small nuclear warhead in the vicinity of the house, and the radiation detected in the house was negligible. This super-strong tape also helped with withstanding the power of the explosion. I can’t say the same thing for the outside, where there was once a neighborhood. If there’s a hell, then it would probably look like my neighborhood. I urge you not to play with nuclear warheads. It’ll blow your fingers away. Leave that to trained professionals. If you’re buying from Amazon to prepare for the next Armageddon make sure to use your Amazon Visa card and get reward points! Every $2,500 you spend, you automatically get $25 in Amazon gift certificates back. Summary: The tape works. It protected the house and its occupants from certain doom. Don’t tape your whole house if you don’t have time. It might be better to just tape yourself and your loved ones from head to toe.

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