Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (75 page)

Twenty-One

T
he differences between the sexes and the urge to bridge them have always occupied a corner of the human imagination. Expressing a personality which seems to be at odds with one’s sex is not really one but many phenomena with a diversity of expressions and behaviors. Because transgenderism is so variously manifested by men and women of different sexual orientations, and because a sizeable percentage do not engage in D&S, this chapter provides only a rudimentary understanding of it. We focus on the critical distinctions
between transvestism and transsexualism before going on (in
Chapter 22
) to a detailed discussion of transgenderists who engage in D&S.

We feature an analysis of transgenderism by Dr. Roger E. Peo, a gender counselor in Poughkeepsie, New York. He received his Ph.D. from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and is certified by the American College of Sexologists. Dr. Peo is a diplomate in sex counseling of the American Board of Sexology and a fellow of the American College of Clinical Sexologists, a member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex and of the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association.

We also hear from a male-to-female transgenderist:

The range of abbreviations and neologisms used to describe transgenderist phenomena indicates the complexity of this behavioral universe. Here is a quick list of the most familiar terms.

The most common phenomenon in transgenderism is transvestism, or dressing in clothes normally worn by the opposite sex.

The word
transvestite
derives from the Latin
trans
(cross) and
vestia
(clothing). It was first coined by Magnus Hirschfeld (himself a cross-dresser who was known in Berlin’s gay subculture as “Auntie Magnesia”) in his 1910 book
Transvestites: An Investigation into the Erotic Impulse of Disguise
. Havelock Ellis later chose to call the phenomenon Eonism, after the Chevalier d’Eon, 18th Century Europe’s most celebrated transvestite, who dressed as a woman in the course of pursuing a career as a diplomat and spy. Upon leaving his trade, he dressed and lived entirely as a woman.

Although 19th Century writers may have named the phenomenon, the desire to dress as a member of the opposite sex has been known—and occasionally sanctioned—throughout human history.

On this continent many North American Plains Indian tribes allowed a man to assume the role of
berdache
, dressing as a woman, performing a woman’s tasks, and often marrying as a woman. The Cheyenne esteemed their
berdaches
and believed them to be great doctors and practitioners of love magic. Among the Navaho, a
nadle
(a term that encompasses both transvestites and hermaphrodites) was considered to be extremely fortunate and a family that included one felt assured of attaining great wealth. Conversely, a married couple of the Nahane tribe could select a daughter to become a son
to hunt for them when they grew old. After a ceremony ritualistically changed the girl’s gender at about age five, she was reared as a boy and assumed male status and responsibilities.

In many cultures transvestites have served important ritual functions. Among the Zulu of South Africa, for example, only transvestite men are allowed to practice divination. Young males in the Wodaabe tribe of West Africa compete for women’s affections in highly ritualized, cross-dressing beauty contests. In other cultures cross-dressed male prostitutes outnumber female prostitutes: In Oman, for example, male-to-female TV prostitutes are socially recognized, while female prostitution is practiced in strictest secrecy.

Despite its cultural and historical ubiquity, transvestism remains poorly understood in America. Considerable confusion exists as to the sexual orientation of TVs. Transvestism has long been firmly associated with homosexuality—and specifically homosexual prostitution—both in non-Western cultures and in older Western traditions. In some Muslim cultures handsome young males are still cross-dressed to serve as consorts to wealthy married men. But, in fact, most Western transvestites are heterosexual.

Among the majority of gay men cross-dressing is seldom practiced except as an occasional adventure in genderbending or, more often, as an elaborate joke. Gay drag queens typically lampoon femininity.

For many gay men, dressing up in women’s clothing is reserved for masquerades or Halloween celebrations. Stepping out of their daily clothing and into the whimsical costumes or sensuous fabrics permitted to women, these men find in the event a kind of bacchanalia, a release from all convention. This spirit prevails at festivities such as Mardi Gras, where men (gay and straight) flaunt garish costumes in hedonistic parody of the female sex.

Many people are discomfited by true transvestites because the TVs do not seem to conform to assigned social roles.

What our culture perceives as acceptable masculine behavior comprises a narrow range of possibilities.

In a world where women are largely perceived to lack power, for a man to emulate one seems strange if not downright ludicrous. Transvestism finds a place in the comedy routines of Milton Berle and others, where the tradition of mocking women by imitating them depends upon a bizarre charade of neurotic womanhood. The vision of a man mincing and lisping in women’s clothing usually evokes the kind of merriment generally reserved for the fellow who’s fallen on a banana peel; it is laughter shared equally by men and women, and its object is the emasculated or effeminate man. Cross-dressers, however, are not emasculated—nor, for that matter, necessarily effeminate—men. Nor are they all men. While male-to-female cross-dressers are the most visible segment of the transgender communities, and while transvestism is presumed to be primarily a male phenomenon, female-to-male cross-dressers exist but are less identifiable.

Joan of Arc was exceptional when she donned male clothing to lead campaigns for France, as was Calamity Jane, who spent the better part of her life living as a man. But ever since Marlene Dietrich appeared in a tuxedo and Katharine Hepburn swore off skirts, few people have been greatly disconcerted by the sight of women in masculine attire.

—M. C
YBELE

Feminine attire connotes powerlessness, while male clothing is largely viewed as neutral—or suggestive, as Ms. Dietrich’s admirers can attest. Men’s attire worn by women has another connotation: Doris Day looked
cute
in Rock Hudson’s oversized pajamas, rather like a little girl in her father’s clothes. Rock Hudson in Doris Day’s outfits would have been another matter. Some female-to-male cross-dressers, however, arouse distinct disapprobation.
Lesbians who are “butch” and both dress in masculine attire and emulate stereotypically masculine behaviors may be perceived with some alarm or subjected to harrassment. In alternative sexuality communities, however, women who embody “masculine” characteristics may be perceived as admirable exemplars of feminity. Challenges to gender stereotyping are raised not only among transgenderists but throughout the D&S world.

Since so many women nowadays wear male clothing to meet the dictates of fashion rather than of eros, the line between cross-dressing and trendiness is blurred. Many feel that unless cross-dressing carries some erotic component—unless the wearer experiences a direct thrill from being clad in opposite-gender attire—it is not true transvestism. But this is debatable, as many male-to-female cross-dressers deny that they experience erotic stimulation from wearing women’s garb. Whether they are denying their erotic impulse to sanitize or justify their interest is also controversial.