Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (90 page)

Judging by the frequent mention of uro-eroticism in studies of sexual fantasies, erotic publications, and our interviews, urine play is by no means confined to neurotics. It is an extremely popular element in adult fantasy and practice, something which Stekel also recognized.

Many men arise erect from sleep with a condition vulgarly known as a “piss hard-on.” The first urination of the day may induce pleasure comparable to the intensity of orgasm. Postorgasmic urination, similarly, may be a thoroughly sensual release and may find a place in sexual afterplay.

Adults engage in innumerable forms of urosexual play. Medical and psychiatric annals abound with descriptions of individuals who have unusual, fetishistic habits—such as carrying urine-moistened cloths—or who act out solitary, arcane urosexual rituals, or who insert pointed objects into their urethras. But those who are able to integrate their interests into a consensual erotic relationship rarely show up in clinical settings. It is interesting, although not necessarily significant, that our interviewees reported relatively little difficulty in finding adult partners for uro-sexual play.

There is a great deal of discussion and misinformation about the possible health risks of urophilia. Some devotees claim that because urine is sterile, the health risks are negligible. This ignores the very real possibility of contamination after the urine leaves the bladder. Another belief, that urine is as likely as semen or blood to transmit the HIV virus, is
not
supported by existing medical data.

According to medical experts, urine is sterile
inside
the bladder, which, barring abnormalities, is a poor environment for any but the hardiest bacteria or viruses (HIV, for example, is relatively fragile). Even sterile urine contains metabolic end products and toxic products, such as drugs, which have been filtered out of the body for excretion. In men, contamination is possible if the urethra, foreskin, or penis is infected; also, prostatic fluid can transmit HIV and other viruses, and bacteria. In females, the urinary orifice is surrounded by folds of damp skin, which often harbor bacteria and may, in turn, contaminate the urine.

In other words: Even when the urine is free of bacteria or viruses and the bladder is normal, there is risk if problems exist in the prostatic fluid, the urethra, or on the surface of the penis or the labia. Generally, urine from a female is less likely to be safe and “clean” than urine from a male.

The urophile typically finds each aspect of urination exciting. The sound of the urine rushing forth from a lover’s genital region, the swift spume of
transparent yellow fluid, its sharp aroma, and its warmth and stickiness upon the urophile’s skin—particularly when the flow is directed to the receiving partner’s erogenous zones—all enhance the urophile’s arousal.

Although golden showers spring up in many non-D&S fantasies as a hedonistic sensual variation, they are most typically identified with D&S.

Havelock Ellis speculated on an inherent link between masochism and urophilia.

For urophiles, golden showers are fully sexualized; they may in some cases be as satisfying as orgasm, although rarely its substitute. Among D&Sers, golden showers are most often one component of a more complex scenario, often involving humiliation and erotic coercion. To urinate on someone can be a graphic and primal expression of power. The submissive accepts the dominant’s golden shower as a profound and primal surrender to the dominant’s will.

Consciousness of the taboo finds its counterbalance in the shattering of the taboo: Many urophiles are aroused by the significance of the act—i.e., the outrageousness and social unacceptability of what they are doing. This may also explain why golden showers, for many submissives, are a divinely humiliating experience.

The submissive urophile receives the dominant’s urine as a wholesome substance. Humiliation may derive not only from the powerlessness he feels in a coercion scenario—where he is forced to acquiesce to this desirable insult—but also from the awareness that he has sought out the experience and craves to be treated in this way. And for some, freely consenting to be degraded is an expression of the lengths to which they will go to please the dominant.

Even those who sincerely enjoy golden showers as a positive expression of sexuality and do not feel degraded by them may find that
certain
types of humiliation enhance their pleasure.

One of the mysteries of urophilia, however, is that the submissive often feels that being the object of a dominant’s urination is actually a privilege and an honor. For some, the experience synthesizes with a worshipful love of the dominant: For them, the dominant’s urine is like a good Chardonnay, and the submissive is honored by the contact.

In this respect, urine for the urophile retains its ancient, mystical qualities as a holy, magical water, clean and rejuvenating; the idea of communion
holds a spiritual meaning. One individual we spoke with described its ingestion as akin to drinking mother’s milk and described a sense of being nourished by the dominant, followed by feelings of consolation and relaxation.

In S/M erotica submissives are occasionally required to drink the urine of dominants or to lick the dominant’s genitals after urination as a symbol of ultimate obedience and humility. In reality, ingesting urine is more often fantasy than fact.

Urine play actually has few formalized rituals. No one scenario is paradigmatic of the interest, and often the play is spontaneous. When planned, it seems to occur as an aspect of a longer D&S scenario and may be one of several acts that the submissive is required to perform in order to prove the sincerity of his devotion.

It is impossible to catalogue all the things that individuals insert in the urethra. The introduction of
any
foreign object into
any
orifice entails risk. Those who introduce foreign objects or substances may end up having decidedly unerotic encounters with urologists. Hospital emergency rooms regularly treat men and women who introduce foreign objects into body openings and suffer great harm as a result. Some S/M groups offer educational and informational workshops to help prevent injury in those who insist on experimenting.

One area of urethra play demands specialized equipment and medical knowledge: catheterization. The erotic interest in catheterization is alleged to be ancient.

Although urinary catheterization technically falls within the purview of water sports, the activity is best understood as an explicitly sadomasochistic act because of the intense stimulation. During catheterization the submissive loses all control over bladder function, since the bladder evacuates through
the tube as urine collects. This profound helplessness and consequent humiliation are intensely arousing to some D&Sers.

Catherization may be used in intensive bondage scenarios or as part of a hospitalization scenario. If a submissive is kept in stringent bondage for an extended period, the dominant may deem catheterization to be “necessary,” as the bottom is otherwise unable to relieve his bladder. Catherization may also occur as an unusual punishment or in a slave-training scenario.

In addition to the Foley, a tube of fairly sturdy rubber, there is also something known as an “external catheter.” This actually resembles a rugged condom and is not inserted into the urethra but placed over the penis, where it collects urine which drains through a tube and into a bottle. While the Foley is used in hospitals to force drainage of the bladder, the external catheter—sometimes jocularly known as a “Texas rubber”—is designed to spare hospital personnel from continuously handing urinals to bedridden patients or from changing the diapers of incontinents.

Foley catheterization can be painful, although if expertly inserted, the discomfort should be very minor. For many, the stimulus is desirable. Use of a Foley is, however, exceedingly dangerous. One runs a serious a risk of damaging the urethra, the kidneys or the bladder. If the catheter is left in place for extended periods, infection is inevitable.

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