Disillusioned (10 page)

“I have some interesting news about Liset,”
Tessa offered lightly, twirling her finger absentmindedly through a
strand of her hair.

The instantaneous transformation of Merritt's
demeanor sent Tessa into a back-pedal, her mind grasping for some
cause.

His jaw tense, he seemed to glare side-long
at Tessa, and when he spoke, his lips barely moved. “What about
her?” he growled, still somehow managing a casual tone.

Faltering, Tessa tried to manufacture
something to avoid such an apparently controversial subject. “Um,
Mike asked if we minded if he asked her out,” she stuttered,
grateful that she had grasped onto some excuse for assertion.

For a moment, Merritt appeared sated. “Huh,
funny,” he replied without humor.

Tessa didn't believe
Merritt for a moment, and the inconsistency began to make her feel
like a tennis ball, buffeted back and forth between his
personalities.
More like pool ball,
she corrected as Merritt's demeanor shifted to a
persona she had not previously encountered. Her first encounter
with the new Merritt? Angry, jealous, and judgmental at the party.
Then, pleasant and playful at the house. Now, strangely solicitous
to an extent Tessa had never seen.
Turning
toward her, he brushed the back of his hand gently from her
cheekbone to her jaw, more a chilling touch than tender. “Are you
sure Mike ought to be dating Liset?” he asked. “We know very little
about her.” What was he really asking? Tessa wondered. His gaze
bore intensely into her eyes as he searched for something inside
her mind.

“Well, I can't think of any
particular reason we have to worry,” Tessa lied, avoiding Merritt's
eyes.
Why, oh, why couldn't I learn to lie
with a straight face?
she lamented, well
aware that she had not fooled Merritt for a moment. Still, even
though she acknowledged the lie to herself, she could never have
predicted his reaction.

Grabbing her wrists, he pulled her to face
him. “You're lying, Tessa,” he spat. His words cut, as much from
their veracity as from his apparent fury. “What do you know about
Liset?”

She had lied, but she had never believed that
words could elicit such a physical reaction from Merritt. Under no
circumstances would she countenance this kind of treatment from
him. He should know better. Eyes blaring, she prepared to challenge
him, even considering whether or not to ring for a flight
attendant. Indecisive, she paused, the thought restraining her. If
she brought someone else into the situation, then Tessa had to be
prepared to escalate her reaction. In truth, despite his actions,
she did not feel materially injured, and she did not want to
unleash a series of events that might lead to permanent
repercussions. Her fervor suddenly diffused.

Tripping over her obfuscations, Tessa began a
cascade of words which stumbled from her, and she never really knew
exactly what she said. “Look, she was acting suspiciously. When I
told her

about the French lady on the phone, she
looked anxious. And when I told her about the car wreck, she
actually looked scared!” Despite the logic that had impelled her
rationalizations, what had seemed solid reasoning before sounded
vapid when she tried to convince Merritt.

A disconcerting calm overtook Merritt, in
some ways more disturbing than his anger. “What did you do?” He
accentuated each syllable.

“What do you mean? Why do you think I did
anything?” Tessa felt backed into a corner, and her manic voice
carried the full violence of her agitation.

Unmoved, Merritt pinned her with a compelling
gaze that seemed to wrench the confession from her.

“I just listened in on a phone conversation,”
she babbled.

“Where?”

“What do you mean where?” Tessa couldn't
fathom how that question followed. “On her phone!”

“I mean, where were
you?
” He clarified, and
Tessa cringed at the answer she had to give. Still, she could
figure no way to avoid the response.

“I followed her,” Tessa spat angrily,
preparing herself for a battery verbal assault.

“You foll...” Merritt's began, but Tessa
interrupted him, going on the offensive.

“I followed her to her apartment, and while
she walked down her hall she talked on the phone to someone. She
chastised him about going to some house. Then a man knocked on her
door, and she told him to go away but then agreed to meet him at a
coffeehouse.”

To Tessa's surprise, an assault never came.
Merritt's rage melted into a strange, calculating thoughtfulness.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and began to dial
a number.

“When were they supposed to meet?” he
requested coolly.

“Some time this morning; Liset didn't
specify. Why, what's going on, Merritt?” Though Tessa's manic
state-of-mind had begun to subside, terse irritation replaced the
wild frenzy.

In response, Merritt turned to glare at her,
shutting his phone. A slight semblance of the anger she had
expected appeared on his face. “That was very dangerous,” he
scolded, though his words lacked conviction. “You didn't know what
part of town she lived in. As little money as she makes, it could
have been a very rough area.”

What strange storm brewed over Tessa's world
that had turned her mundane life into a deluge of unpredictability?
A week ago, she would have welcomed a distraction, but she would
never have asked for such a capricious overthrow of her serenity.
Even though Merritt had calmed down, her emotions had not yet
abated.

“If that were true,” she asserted petulantly,
“I wouldn't have kept following her. I would've stopped before it
got to that point.”

Without warning, Merritt grabbed Tessa again,
and she prepared herself to resist his show of strength. Instead of
berating her though, he forcefully and inexplicably gathered her
into his embrace, an unusual show of some desperate emotion.

“Merritt, you're scaring me. What's going
on?”

Merritt did not release her; he did not seek
her eyes. Instead, he held her in an almost painful grip. She could
hardly breathe, but he seemed genuinely concerned about her. “I'm
sorry, sweetheart. I love you. The thought of your putting yourself
in danger makes me crazy.”

“Really, Merritt, danger?” Tessa asked
incredulously. “Don't you think you're over-exaggerating a
little?”

The warmth of his arms quieted her fears a
degree, his steady breathing slowing her own rapid rate of
respiration. “What if that man had been violent?” he queried.

Liset would have beat him
up,
Tessa laughed to herself. “Why would I
assume Liset would have violent friends? I trust her to take care
of my children, don't I?”

The tension returned to Merritt's body. “You
ask too many questions!” he fumed, his expression suddenly heated
again.

“You knew that when you married me!” She
almost shouted as she unentwined herself from his arms and turned
her back on him.

“Yes, and it's always driven me crazy!” he
said, his voice more endearing than irate. He grabbed her and spun
her back to him. Taking her face in his hands, he affixed his eyes
to hers, demanding her attention. “Sometimes I just need you to
trust me.”

Trust you?
she wondered.
Yesterday,
I trusted you. Today, I want to trust you, but some time since
yesterday, you've gone insane!

She longed to protest aloud, but the
preceding days had upset all of her preconceptions, and with them,
her self-confidence. Preconception number one: her life would
forever remain boring. Preconception number two: people are who
they say they are. Preconception number three – the most important
of them all: Tessa could trust Merritt, even when all else failed.
Now, Tessa had begun to feel as if she could count on nothing,
especially Merritt.

Unfortunately, she knew that if she expressed
her frustrations, the argument would escalate, and she never won
intense arguments. She cared too much about Merritt to fight hard.
He possessed a lawyer's smooth reasoning to explain his own
opinion. Instead of resolution, an argument would only result in
Merritt's successful justification of himself, and Tessa's angry
sense of having been wronged. She could only choose to concede now,
before a fight occurred.

“Of course I trust you,” she asserted weakly
and dropped her eyes from his gaze.

He lifted her chin and kissed her again, more
gently than before.

As glad as she was that Merritt had lost his
manic look, she knew herself too well to think she would actually
let his lies go. Every spare moment of their trip she would spend
listening and watching, trying to find out why an earthquake had
suddenly erased the foundation of her steady relationship with
Merritt.

When he released her, Merritt leaned over and
picked up his cell phone from where he had dropped it when he
grabbed her wrist. If he felt remorse for the action, Tessa could
not sense it. A slightly resentful lump filled her throat as she
watched him dial Liset's number. Since the pilot had just switched
on the fasten seat belts sign, Merritt adjusted his position in his
seat then, turning to Tessa, he helped her, in incongruous
politeness, to click her belt into place.

Dumb with shock, she looked away from
Merritt, feigning inattention.

“Bueno
?” Tessa could just make out
on the other end of the phone.

“Liset, soy Merritt.
Estás
bien
?”

A flood of words emitted from the other end
of the conversation, and Tessa could discern little of what Liset
replied.

“Si,
pero no es una problema.
E
lla
no
puede
intender.
” So,
Merritt thought that Tessa couldn't understand him. She felt both
insulted and relieved. “
Este
hombre,
quien
es?”

Another flood of words.

“Mi compania? No es
bueno.
El puede
ser
muy
peligroso
!”

Liset's reply.

“Yo se, no
tengo
miedo
para ti. Es para mi
bella
,”
his
face
tensed.

Tessa tried not to betray her comprehension
by any physical response. Merritt feared for Tessa? But, why?

“Bueno,
tenga
cuida.
Voy
a
proteger
a ella,
pero
tu
estas
sola.
Si, yo
se.
Hasta
pronto.”

One last word from Liset, then silence.

“Is she okay?” Tessa ventured.

“She's fine,” he asserted coolly. “I just
told her to be careful and call us if she needs something.”

“But, why would going to coffee with someone
put her in danger?” Tessa fished.

Unexpectedly, a flight attendant appeared
with two glasses of wine and some fruit and cheese.

“I hope this meets your requirements, Mr.
Wilson,” the well-appointed young woman offered solicitously.

“It's perfect, thanks,” Merritt replied. “How
much longer now?”

After consulting the electronic device in her
hand, the young lady smiled graciously at the couple and explained,
“Just under one hour.”

“Thank you,” Merritt offered again, and the
young woman retreated quickly from the room.

If Merritt thought the distraction would
divert Tessa's attention, he didn't know her as well as he ought.
“Why would going to coffee put Liset in danger?”

She watched as his shoulders tensed.

“Oh, I wasn't concerned about the coffee,” he
answered glibly. “I was thinking about that wreck that you said you
saw yesterday. From what I've heard, we've had an influx of gang
activity from south of the border, and maybe the strange wreck
could be related to that. Liset is all alone in a tough city, and I
just wanted to warn her to take precautions.”

“Do you really think we have to worry about
MS-13 in our neighborhood?” Tessa prodded.

“Maybe,” Merritt replied stubbornly. “But
even if not, Liset doesn't live in our neighborhood. I just told
her to stay in contact with Mike and that Mike could help her if
she needed anything.”

Liar!
Tessa wanted to shout, but she still didn't want to cause a
fight.
Instead, she offered a meek “oh,”
and then dropped the subject completely. She just didn't know what
to say to him.

Merritt, of course, could not wish to press
the subject, so when Tessa didn't pursue it, he began to regain his
easy demeanor. By the time the landing gear rattled from beneath
them, she would never have assumed anything suspect if she had not
seen Merritt's previous behavior. For Tessa, nothing like easiness
could possibly occupy her mind for more days than she cared to
predict. In the unlikely event that Merritt could explain away all
of his actions, Tessa still didn't think she would regain her peace
of mind any time soon.

Maybe he's having an
affair
, Tessa suddenly gasped, and the
thought shot a shudder of pain through her chest.

Almost instantly, though, Tessa's doubted
herself, and she began to question whether that possibility could
explain all of the circumstances that had arisen around her. How
had Liset been able to bring that full-grown man to his knees? Why
would Liset seem so shocked at the odd news of the French phone
call or the wreck? Even more compelling, if Merritt's heart had
abandoned Tessa, why had he seemed to care so much about her
safety? Perhaps he manufactured the words of the phone call to
mislead Tessa. Perhaps, conversely, he had reacted in jealousy at
the news of Liset's early morning meeting.