Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1) (10 page)

‘Ah, yes okay. I’m up for the challenge.’ He put the wine down and gazed at her a moment.

‘So tell me.
Why did you lie?’

He took in a deep breath. ‘I panicked.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I thought if I came
clean, you’d never speak to me again.’

‘There was the possibility. I almost cancelled when I found out.’

‘I’m glad you didn’t, and I’m so sorry I lied.’

She watched him a moment, the man was strikingly handsome, she couldn’t get over that.

‘Apology accepted, but I’m curious though. Where did you get the information?’

He really didn’t want her to know, it would make him look worse t
han who he really was. She raised her eyebrows at him and waited.

‘Will you promise to continue our date, if I tell you?’

‘It depends. I can’t promise anything.’

‘Fair enough.’

‘What matters is that I get the truth.’

‘Okay, here it goes.’

He told her what he’d done, from the beginning to the end, and then he waited with baited breath, as if waiting for a bomb to go off.

‘So you’re a stalker?’

‘No, I’m not I promise. I was just really crazy about you and no one wanted to give me any information about you. Not even you.’

She
gazed ahead and thought about that a moment. There were so many questions, so many things she wanted to say and do, but then there was the feeling that he genuinely wanted to get to know her.

‘Okay, I forgive you, but don’t do it again. I don’t like it, it feels creepy.’

‘Yes ma’am, and I agree.’ He thought about it and realised the error of his ways.

‘So where are you taking me for this drink?’

‘Well I thought somewhere local would be good.’

‘That’s fine with me. I like local.’

They drove out of Garforth, a small area under the Leeds postcode to a homely pub in Ledsham. The drive was relaxing, it had gone from town surroundings to country scenery in minutes. The winding roads, the green fields and the scattered sheep brought a peaceful feeling. She gazed out of the window a moment.

‘This is so beautiful.’ She gasped.

‘It is, isn’t it? To live amongst this everyday would be amazing.’

‘I have a friend who lives on a farm. Well I say friend, we haven’t seen each other for a long time. But I remember days on that farm. It was the most relaxing time in my life. The silence, the sound of sheep blea
ting, the walks through the fields, it just gave a feeling of tranquillity.’

‘Yes, I know that feeling although I don’t experience it a lot these days. I’m rushing about everywhere that I’ve forgotten to stop and listen.’ he smiled.

‘You never should. Life’s too short to do that.’ She smiled at him.

‘I agree.’

The car pulled into the car park of the historic pub. It had a stone cottage look to it, warm and friendly, planted in the middle of a picturesque village.

‘I love this place,’ she said as they got out.

‘It does look lovely. I googled it before I set off. I hope the drinks are as good.’

She laughed.

‘Perhaps if you like me enough, you’ll stay for something to eat.’

‘Oh, I don’t know. I’ve already eaten.’

‘Dessert?’

‘Maybe.’

They walked in silence to the entrance. The pub was partially busy with their regulars. It was warm and welcoming just as the outside. Sahara found a seat in the corner couches while Eugene headed off to order some drinks. She felt fuzzy and a little excited. It wasn’t something she’d felt before and for the first time, she wanted to try it out, even though she wasn’t entirely sure.

‘Here’s your orange juice
.’ He placed it on the coaster on the table, when he got back from the bar.

He
placed his pint on the table too, and sat back into the comfortable sofa and smiled. He took a quick sweep of the pub. A few steps in front of them, there were chairs and tables set out for those who wished to eat, and further a field was the bar.

‘This is nice,’ he said. ‘This part is like our own private lounge.’

‘Yes, it is nice.’ She took a sip of the drink.

‘So, where shall we begin?’ he asked.

‘Why don’t we begin with you? It seems you already know an awful lot about me.’

‘Not really. Just your place of work, home and phone number.’

‘You mean my business.’

‘Yes, it must be nice owning your own flower shop.’

‘Best thing in the world! But let’s not get off course. Let’s talk about you.’

‘What do you want to
know?’ He pulled off his jacket and got comfortable.

Eugene
went into detail about who he was, where he was from and where he was at that moment. He worked for himself and now owned a very successful investment company.

‘I buy failing business
es, build them up again and then sell them. I also invest of a lot of other things, but I won’t go into detail.’

‘That sounds very interesting and very exhausting.’

‘I love the buzz of it all. I love to see how I can make things better.’

She nodded and watched how he lit up as he described his passion. He’d lost both of his parents in the space of a year.

‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said. ‘What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.’

‘Dad had a heart attack. It was so sudden
, and it was like mum had lost her best friend.’

Sahara
could feel her heart race, the thought of death sometimes terrified her, even though she’d spoken about it a lot of times to her councillor. 

‘A year later, she fell down the stairs and broke her hip, she never came out of hospital after that. It was terrible.’

‘Gosh, I’m sorry.’

He nodded. ‘I’ve coped. Plus I’m an only child so I had no one to confide in.
I had my relatives and friends, but it’s not the same.’

‘I understand. I’m an only child too.’

‘You are. Wow, so we do have something in common.’

She giggled, she was warming up to him faster than she would’ve liked.

‘My mum’s great, she’s my life right now. I depend on her a lot.’

He nodded. ‘You’re lucky you still have her.’

‘Yes I am.’

He was silent for a while. He took the oppo
rtunity to take a sip of his drink and savour the moment.

‘I really like you,’ he said finally. ‘The moment I set eyes on you, that was it. I just wanted to know you.’

She pursed her lips and swallowed back hard. ‘Well, I’d advise you not to.’

‘Why would you say that? It isn’t a bad t
hing to be liked by someone.’

‘My life is complicated. I can’t promise to give you back what you give me.’

‘I’m not asking you to. I just want you to receive.’

‘Ahh, but at some point, you’ll need something in return. Don’t warm up to me.’

‘I can’t accept that, not unless you tell me why.’

She reached for her drink and took a big gulp. It was her way of pushing back the emotions that were threatening to come up.

‘Your friends have been very protective over you.’

‘There is a reason for that.’

‘Would it be too early, too forward of me to ask why?’

She shut her eyes briefly and wondered about that. Did she really want to let him into their
circle? How long would he be around, and would he stick around if he found out the truth?

‘I don’t know. It’s…’ she wanted to just get it out there a
nd let him decide, but she also felt guarded.

‘It’s okay, I can handle it.’

She smiled, he was sweet, behind those ice blue eyes, there was a warm man who she was warming up to very fast.

‘I’m fighting cancer,’ she blurted.

Eugene wasn’t expecting that. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting.

‘I know, it’s a shock, I thought if I just get it out there, it would be done and over with.’

‘Urm…yes…’

‘You don’t have to feel sorry for me. I don’t want it.’ She continued. She noticed he was having a hard time taking in what she’d said.

‘Of course.’

‘I was first diagnosed at the age of seventeen with bowel cancer. The doctors didn’t want to accept that it was a possibility. I was too young, according to them.’ She laughed lightly.

He shifted.

‘Luckily it was caught in time and I went into remission. Bu
t unfortunately cancer got me again, this time breast cancer.’

‘I’m sorry.’ He couldn’t help it.

‘Don’t be sorry, and don’t say sorry again.’ She giggled.

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘If you don’t know, say nothing, I’m comfortable with silences. I’ve learnt to deal with them.’

He nodded.

‘It’s genetic. I live from day to day, because that’s all I’ve truly got.’ She took a sip of her drink. She couldn’t believe she’d told him.

‘I’m…gosh, this is hard. I guess I understand why
Myles and Emily were so guarded.’

‘It’s our thing. I don’t want people to know because they start to treat me differently and I don’t like that.’

He nodded.

‘I’m still
Sahara, I want people to treat me like a normal person, because I am.’

Again he nodded.

‘That’s the reason I don’t allow anyone to ask me how I am.’

That had been his next question.

‘I don’t like it, I don’t want to explain myself so we came up with a numbering system. I say a number between one and ten. One being I’m feeling pretty bad, ten being I’m feeling pretty good.’

‘I see, that sounds okay, I guess.’

‘It works and it keeps me in the moment. You’ll realise I mention the moment a lot.’ She smiled softly.

He nodded.

‘It helps me stay focus on the good things right now. Like having a drink with you, tasting the orange juice. When I do that, I feel good. Tomorrow really is out of my hands.’

‘If you think about it, it’s out of all our hands. I could get hit by a car tomorrow.’

‘But you don’t think like that do you? To do that, would rob you of today. That’s the same with me. I don’t think about the cancer killing me, I don’t know that, it would rob me of the moments I’m sharing with you.’

‘Makes perfect sense. So…’ He looked her in the eye. ‘If you don’t mind m
e asking… What number are you today?’

‘You’re a quick learner.’ She teased.

‘Trying to be.’

‘I’m a ten.’ She beamed.

‘Really?’

‘Yes really, and I hope I haven’t scared you off.’

‘Why would you think that?’

‘Because.’ She leaned forward, it was her turn to look at him. ‘Th
is isn’t a fairytale. You and I are not going to ride out into the sunset and be happy ever after.’

‘We don’t know that.’

‘True, but when you’re with me, you’ve only got the present moment.’

‘I’m going to have to learn then, aren’t I?’

‘I don’t think you understand. This date, was great, but further from this, I can’t make you promises. The cancer I have now, I’m hoping to beat it, but there’s no saying I won’t get another type of cancer again. Do you understand?’

‘Like you said, there’s no point thinking about tomorrow. We can’t worry about a future that isn’t even here yet.’

‘Fair enough.’ she sat back.

Her first instinct was to resist. It wasn’t just his heart s
he was worried about, it was hers. There was some uncomfortable silence between them. It was understandable. It wasn’t something one expected on a first date, but Sahara wanted it out in the open. She didn’t want to waste his or her time.

‘I’m sorry for this blow.’

‘Don’t worry.’ He smiled gently. ‘I’m a grown man, I can handle it.’

‘Let’s focus on something else.’

‘That’s fine with me.’

‘Something fun and less serious.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like where were you born?’

‘I’m a Yorkshire man. What about you?’

‘
Sheffield. How old are you?’

‘Thirty six, you?’

‘You sure you don’t know that one already?’

He shook his head.

‘Thirty. When’s your birthday?’

‘September the twentieth. You?’

‘The tenth of January.’

‘Favourite food?’ she asked playfully.

‘Lobster.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes really.’

‘Too posh for me.’

He laughed. ‘What’s yours?’

‘Pasta, I love my pasta.’

‘We should go for some on our next date, presuming there will be a next date.’

‘I’m sure there
will be. I’ve had a good time.’

‘Yeah me too, I’m so glad I got to know you.’

It was the first time he’d actually enjoyed a woman’s company in a different way. He felt he could be himself, he didn’t have to flash his cash to impress her, nor did she seem to care about any of that. It was refreshing and he wanted nothing more than to stay with her. Being in her presence was relaxing.

‘Do you want to take a short walk around the village?’ He didn’t want their time together to end.

‘Yes, I’d like that. It’s a really beautiful place. There’s a footpath not too far away from here.’

‘It seems like
you know the place well.’

‘I do, I’ve walked around this place a few times. It helps me relax.’

They started for the exit of the pub. Sahara felt relaxed and enjoyed his company despite the fear that still lingered in the pit of her stomach. Instead of fighting it, she let it just linger. There wasn’t much else she could do.

He took a moment to give his driver a ring, to let him know they’d be leaving in about forty minutes. They headed out of the pub and began the walk.

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, so quiet that the sounds of the birds tweeting penetrated the air. They walked in comfortable silence for a while.
Sahara felt as though she’d known him all her life, it was an odd feeling. They reached the foot path and began a journey through lovely green scenery. It was relaxing, the greenery took her breath away like it always did. Sahara felt the oneness with everything around her, but she was certain that Eugene didn’t feel the same.

‘This is the first time in a long time that I’ve felt this relaxed.’ He chuckled.

‘Really?’

‘Yes. In my line of work it’s always busy. I guess I’m always chasing the next big deal. I never get time to relax, to slow down, so thank you.’

‘For what?’ she giggled.

‘For slowing me down. If it wasn’t for your beautiful face,
I wouldn’t be here today.’

‘My beautiful face?’

‘Yes, you captured me the first time I saw you. I know it sounds so vain.’ He laughed. ‘But you have to admit, we’re visual creatures.’

‘I can’t argue with you there.’

‘But it wasn’t just your pretty face that captivated me.’

‘It wasn’t.’ She felt a little shy as they continued their walk.

‘No, there was something else there. It was like you were drawing me to you, like a magnet, a pull I couldn’t ignore.’

She laughed. ‘It sounds so cheesy.’

‘That’s it! You have this ability to see past the bullshit. There is a pretty face, then there’s a pretty face.’ His voice lowered as he said, pretty face the second time. ‘You’re the pretty face,’ he said in the same low voice.

‘Thank you, I guess.’ She didn’t know what else to say.

‘I’ll take that.’

They drifted on without a care in the world. Time wasn’t of the essence, it was just a lovely Sunday afternoon.

‘What about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘Why did you agree to see me, after I lied to you?’

‘Well.’ She turned to him briefly. ‘I thought I’d give you a second chance. I mean after all we’re only human, and besides. If a man goes through all th
at effort to get a date with me. I guess the least I can do is go out with him.’

He laughed, she loved the sound of his deep laugh.

‘There’s also your eyes.’

‘
What about them?’

‘The most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.’

‘Thank you.’ he smiled.

‘I guess I’m a little vain too. I mean who could resist a lovely looking man,’ she said playfully.

‘I quite agree.’

‘You do, do you?’

‘I do.’

‘Well then I take that back.’

‘Well, you can’t have it back.’ He laughed.

It was the most natural thing in the world, the way they talked, the way they laughed. Cancer was no where in the
picture, it was just them and the scenery.