Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1) (13 page)

He slowly took her arms
away from her chest so that he could view her. She didn’t know what to do, but he nodded at her, to reassure her that she was safe. He drew her closer towards him, his lips touched her neck gently, her eyes fell as she savoured the moment. He kissed her down her neck and ran his hand over her breast.

‘It’s okay,’ he whispered into her neck. ‘You’re so beautiful.’

He took a risk and placed his other hand over the place where her other breast used to be. He ran his hand over the stitches as he played with the other nipple with his other hand. At first she was about to build up the wall around her, but the sensation felt so good, that she didn’t want it to stop.

Sahara
felt her body lift and it was placed on the bed. He was over her, looking down at her. He kissed between her chest, over her breast and finally over the flat part of her chest. Her body heated with both emotion and lust. It wasn’t like anything she’d felt before, this was like her first time.

‘I need to say something,’ she said.

He pulled back and looked at her.

‘I’ve had sex, but not really.’ She didn’t know how to put it. ‘This is like my real first time.’

His lips widened. He ran a hand down her cheek.

‘Then I hope to make it the best first time
ever.’

She smiled, she felt safe and knew that there was nothing to worry about.
He started to explore her body again. His lips travelled down the middle of her stomach and stopped at her pelvic area. He gazed up at her from his position with his lovely eyes and winked. She giggled lightly and wondered how her life had taken such a dramatic turn.

He continued to kiss her, she widened her legs for him. He pressed his
warm lips over her middle, and began to suck her gently. Sahara was caught up in the moment. She let the touch take her to a different world to the one she was in. In that world, all that existed was pleasure. There was no pain, no sickness and no tears. Everything was warm and fuzzy, and a part of her didn’t want it to stop.

He lifted her left leg to get a better angle of her wet place. He took her in fully and worked his tongue over her swollen clit.
Sahara let out light moans, gentle sighs and finally loud gasps of pleasure. He made sure that each stroke of his tongue took her to a heightened place she’d never been before.

She grasped the sides of the covers! She felt her body give into an orgasm, but that didn’t stop him. He continued to play with her middle. He did things she’d never discovered in her short life. The feelings brought up a wave of emotions, but instead of trying to figure them out, she allowed her body to surrender to another powerful orgasm.

He moved forward over her and smiled. ‘How does that feel?’ he asked.

‘Amazing,’ she breathed heavily.

‘I’m glad! I’m not done with you yet.’ He began to kiss her lips.

She accepted him, ran her hands through his hair
as they passionately kissed each other. He pulled back, his hair dishevelled, making him look hotter than before. Her body was hot to the touch, everything was happening too fast, she wasn’t sure what to do with her feelings.

But before she could say anything, he explored her body again. His lips met her breast, and teased the nipple with his teeth. She let out a loud cry, as it sent a wave of excitement through her body.
Eugene loved making love to her, it was the most fulfilling thing he’d done. He wanted to please her in all ways possible, and he made sure he showed it.

Finally he slowly entered her.
Sahara shut her eyes to the feeling of his thickness. She hadn’t the slightest clue what she’d been missing up until she felt him.

‘Oh my god!’ she let out.

‘Is something the matter?’ he asked a little worried.

‘God n
o! Everything is just perfect!’ She let go and allowed...

He lay back into the bed, breathing heavily. Sahara lay into him also on cloud nine. It had been something she’d always imagined, but had never experienced. She’d never had an orgasm in her life, it had been a new, but also a scary experience. She’d opened herself up, and now she felt vulnerable. It took her like a wave of water, it was so sudden and there was no stopping it. She pulled away and rolled over to her side, her back to him.

‘Hey.’ He moved closer and tried to touch her back but she flinched. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘I’m just feeling tired, that’s all.’ She lied.

‘That’s not it, some
thing has definitely spooked you.’

She turned to face him, he looked just as worried as she felt.

‘I can’t do this. I just can’t. It’s too much for me.’ She began to tear up.

‘Can’t do what honey?’ He wiped
away a tear from her eye.

‘This, all of this, us!’

‘Why not? Wasn’t it the most wonderful thing you experienced? I know it was for me.’

She knew it was great, but was that enough. Her life wasn’t a happily ever after novel, it was real and the following day would prove just that.

‘I think it’s best if you go,’ she said finally.

‘What? I don’t understand.’

‘Please, I can’t do this.’

He watched her a moment, it was certain t
hat something was troubling her, but didn’t want to upset her further. He hesitated, but noticed that she wanted him gone, it broke his heart, he’d felt so close, but it had also made him think. For the first time, he knew what it felt like to be asked to leave, or to leave straight after sex, it sucked! It had never occurred to him, how the women he’d made his conquests, felt.

‘I don’t understand, but I’ll do it for you.’

‘This is real life, Eugene.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not playing games with you.’

‘I know that, but my life is complicated. Tomorrow I go in for some more chemo, I can’t deal with you at the same time.’

‘What do you mean deal with me? You don’t have to deal with me, I’m just here.’

‘You don’t understand.’ She was tearing up. The sex had definitely made her feel vulnerable. It had opened up the deepest part of her, the parts she didn’t want him to see.

‘Then help me understand. I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you think.’

‘You don’t know that. You don’t know what it’s like after chemo.’

‘Then let me know, let me understand. I could even take you.’

‘No, no…I’m fine. I’m sorry, Eugene, please just go.’

‘Does that mean you never want to see me again?’ He felt a deep sadness.

‘I don’t know what it means.’

Sahara
truly didn’t, all she knew was how exposed she felt. It was too early for her to depend on someone who might not be in her future.

He pulled on his trousers
, and finally he was all dressed and ready to go. He sat on the bed a moment and tried to reach out, but she pulled away. It hurt him dearly, but he knew there wasn’t much he could do.

‘I guess, I’ll be going.’ He stood up.

She didn’t turn to watch him go, instead she felt like a complete idiot, but it felt better than being let down. Sahara was certain that if he saw the reality of her illness, he wouldn’t want to put up with it. It was better to stop the relationship before it went too deep.

‘Throw the keys through the letter slot,’ she said.

‘Okay.’ He didn’t know how else to proceed, it was new to him, different. ‘Bye.’

‘Bye.’ She bit back her lip to stop herself from crying.

Chapter Eight

‘Honey
, are you ready? We don’t want to be late.’ Her mum shouted from downstairs.

‘I’ll be down in a minute.’ She did the last bit of touches to her make up.

She smiled at herself in the mirror. ‘Everything is going to be okay.’ She sucked in a deep breath. ‘Everything is okay.’

After the pep talk
she joined her mother downstairs.

‘Honey? You didn’t tell me you cut your hair.’

‘I don’t have to tell you everything do I?’

‘What’s with the attitude? You know I don’t appreciate being talked to that way.’

‘I’m sorry mum.’ She turned to her mum. ‘I shouldn’t have said it that way.’

‘I know this is tough, and I know that sometimes you feel angry, and that’s okay, but also know that what you say can hurt other people.’

‘Yes, you’re right.’ She thought about Eugene, and her heart sunk. ‘I just had a lot on my mind, and I still know that’s not an excuse.’

‘That’
s alright honey. Shall we go?’

Sahara
nodded.

‘And you can tell me all about this hot hunk you’re dating.’

Sahara stopped in her tracks.

‘Mama knows everything.’ She laughed.

‘Who told you?’

‘Does it matter? All I care about is that you’re happy, and hopefully you’re getting some!’

‘Mum!’ she was mortified. Her mother had never spoken to her like that before.

‘Oh sweetheart, you’re an adult. Sex is a beautiful thing, don’t deny yourself the pleasure.’

‘I haven’t.’

‘Ah
…so there is really a man. Come on, tell me all about him.’

The
y slipped into the car, Sahara was torn between regret and relief. There were mixed emotions about the whole matter.

‘Well there is no point talking about him now.’

‘Why? What have you done?’ she started the car.

‘Why do you assume it’s me?’

‘Because I know you honey, I’ve known you all my life.’

Sahara
leaned back into the car and shut her eyes.

‘You better ring that man
and apologise for whatever you’ve said or done.’

‘Why?’

‘Because if you don’t, I will place you over my lap and give you a nice hiding.’

Sahara
laughed.

‘Seriously though sweetheart, don’t shut out love just because you’re scared.’

‘I can’t do it, mum. He’ll see the worst of me.’

‘But he’ll also see the best of you. And if he walks away from you
, he’s the fool not you. Don’t shut him down just because you’re afraid to get hurt. At some point, we all get hurt, it’s unavoidable. But that’s all part of living.’

Sahara
was quiet. She knew her mother was right. She’d always believed in living in the moment, taking opportunities as they came, and up to a point she’d managed, but when it came to love, it was a whole new ball game.

‘So what’s he like.’

Sahara let go of the internal fight and began to tell her mother about the man who made her heart stop. Elizabeth listened and was glad that her daughter had at least found someone, even if it was for a short while.

‘So he’s that gorgeous man who carried you to the car at Emily’s wedding?’

‘Yep!’

‘You should invite him over for a Sunday roast.’

‘Mum.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I’m not sure I’m going to see him again.’

‘Well, you’ll have to make sure that doesn’t happen.’

By the time they reached the hospital,
Sahara had been given a full lecture about what to do. She let it go in one ear and out the next, like she always did when her mother went on about things a little too long.

‘I’ll do my best mum,’ sh
e said finally as she got out of the car. ‘You don’t have to come in.’

‘I’m not, I’ve got to do some shopping.’ She smiled.

‘Okay, see you soon.’ She shut the door and headed for the hospital.

‘Hey, you!’ She greeted Justin.

‘You’re late,’ he said.

‘I’m so sorry.’ She giggled as the nurse started to attend to her. ‘Did you have a good weekend?’

‘I did, I went surfing, the whole of Saturday and Sunday, it was awesome!’

‘I’m sure it was. Besides that, did you see your
family?’ Sometimes she wished Justin didn’t have to fantasise his weekends or his days. She wished he could at least experience one of them.

‘Yes, Dad and Mum came, my sister doesn’t like coming to the hospital. It freaks her out.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that.’

‘Don’t be, we skype a lot, so she’s there for me, in her own way. I don’t blame her, hospitals suck! Sorry.’ He said to the nurse.

‘You’re right, hospitals do suck.’ The nurse chuckled.

‘How was your weekend?’

‘Well, I had a date.’

‘Oh my god! You
? A date?’

‘Actually, I’ve been seeing someone for a while now.’

‘Oh wow! Is that why you haven’t been around?’

‘Haha, you know I only come ever so often.’

‘I know. I’m happy for you.’

‘Don’t be, I kinda blew it.’

‘What did you do?’